John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Overheard In The Office » Unless That's Weed, This Conversation Is Over.

Monday 12 January 23:53:27 UTC 2015

Property manager: Is something burning in here?COO: No, I left my Tibetan incense at home. I only brought my Tahitian bowl today.Newton Centre, Massachusetts [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Machines that Simulate Natural Disasters

Monday 12 January 23:30:00 UTC 2015

Natural disasters can strike at any time, causing huge loss of life and billions of dollars in damage. Scientists are using these machines to help us be better prepared. 1. UC San Diego Jacobs School Shake Table If you were the kind of kid who liked to build houses out of blocks then knock them down, consider enrolling or getting … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former cop shoots gun in gun store. Former cop shoots off finger. Former cop now suing gun store [Dumbass]

Monday 12 January 23:23:58 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [198 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This guy retired when he was 30. How? By riding his bike to work [Amusing]

Monday 12 January 22:28:03 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [225 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 12 January 22:27:36 UTC 2015

Today, as I tried to get off the bus, my bag and the hand holding it got stuck between the exit doors. I dropped the bag in panic, but the driver wouldn't let me off until we got to the next stop. I had to walk all the way back to get my bag. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Tired says FML

Monday 12 January 22:06:07 UTC 2015

Today, I showed up to work at 6am, only to find out the schedule was changed. I wasn't actually supposed to be there until 9:15. My boss never told me this. I didn't get to go home either, he just said "Oh well. Get to work." FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Is Blood Ever Blue?

Monday 12 January 22:00:40 UTC 2015

In this week's episode of Big Questions, Craig Benzine settles the argument about whether blood is ever blue. See Also…
Why Does Helium Make Your Voice Sound Funny?
Why Are Butterflies Called That?
Misconceptions You Learned in School Don't miss an episode—subscribe here! [Images and footage provided by Shutterstock.] [Link]

Mental Floss » Schools With the Most Appearances in the BCS Rankings

Monday 12 January 22:00:00 UTC 2015

[Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing LInks: How LEGO Changed

Monday 12 January 21:30:00 UTC 2015

A little over a decade ago, LEGO was losing $1M a day. How did the company become the Apple of toys? * Here is your first look at season 3 of House of Cards. * Quit complaining about the cold. At least you don’t live in Oymyakon, Russia: the coldest place on Earth. * Boy, oh boy could those founding … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When fleeing the police, try not to leave identifying information behind like your drivers license or children [Dumbass]

Monday 12 January 21:09:18 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After being excluded from the Paris Solidarity rally, the leader of France's ultra-nationalist party throws her OWN rally in the south of France, and promptly gives a speech that confirms why nobody wanted her at the other rally [Dumbass]

Monday 12 January 21:09:15 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [240 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today is Kiss a Ginger Day. Coincidentally, it's also Slap a Stranger Day [PSA]

Monday 12 January 21:02:04 UTC 2015

PSA [link] [207 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this angelic superhero app [Photoshop]

Monday 12 January 21:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Cadbury Changes Its Creme Egg Recipe

Monday 12 January 21:00:00 UTC 2015

Easter is ruined! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Florida" and "sick" tags duke it out over Central Florida's "Sausage Castle" where your most depraved sexual fantasies may come true. "If you're not 500 pounds, a midget, or molested by your dad, we don't have

Monday 12 January 20:56:03 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [129 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Infographic: A Look At The 2016 Republican Presidential Frontrunners

Monday 12 January 20:56:00 UTC 2015

With Republicans formally taking over the House and Senate for the remainder of Obama’s term and looking forward to the future, leading candidates for the party’s 2016 presidential nomination are starting to emerge.
[Link]

The Onion » Snorkeling Instructor Unaware He’s In Background Of 400 Dating Profile Photos

Monday 12 January 20:43:00 UTC 2015

Snorkeling Instructor Unaware He’s In Background Of 400 Dating Profile Photos
[Link]

FMyLife » fukinlonely says FML

Monday 12 January 20:23:52 UTC 2015

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Obama Absent At Paris Anti-Terrorism Rally

Monday 12 January 20:16:00 UTC 2015

President Obama was criticized by numerous media outlets after skipping an anti-terrorism unity rally in Paris on Sunday that was attended by 40 other world leaders.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Anti-click bait discovered in Malaysia…Two Brits ride a motor scooter naked [Obvious]

Monday 12 January 20:13:24 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » US Central Command twitter account hijacked by IS. I'd feel scared, but I'm not sure why the US Central Command has a farking twitter account [Asinine]

Monday 12 January 20:11:58 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 4 Self-Declared American Royals

Monday 12 January 20:00:00 UTC 2015

There are a few Americans who have achieved royal status the old-fashioned way (by marrying into a royal family), but there is an even smaller group that tried to gain a kingship through other means—like trying to seize absolute dominion over a group or a place before naming themselves king. As the United States is currently still a republic, these … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Media angry Obama didn't join spur-of-the-moment march with 3 million people in wake of Paris' terrorist attacks and security lapses [Followup]

Monday 12 January 19:59:35 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [282 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Strap on your top hat and brass goggles for this tour through the steampunk capitol of New Zealand [Cool]

Monday 12 January 19:55:23 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [34 comments] [Link]

The Onion » First-Term Congressman Brings Fresh Roadblocks To Table

Monday 12 January 19:52:00 UTC 2015

WASHINGTON—Praising the bold new perspective he has introduced to Congress since being sworn in last week, sources said Monday that first-term representative Barry Loudermilk (R-GA) has already brought a host of fresh roadblocks to the table.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are lots of ways to fail a driver's test, but "My eyeball just exploded" is probably a first (pics) [Scary]

Monday 12 January 19:21:54 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Judge: "It is the opinion of this court that we have no goddamn idea what the hell happened here" [Strange]

Monday 12 January 19:21:27 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What do Norwegian speakers on helium sound like? Minions from 'Despicable Me' seems to be the consensus [Amusing]

Monday 12 January 19:15:17 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Strange States: North Carolina's Super-Low Railroad Trestle

Monday 12 January 19:00:00 UTC 2015

If you want to learn about someplace, you can always pick up a textbook. But if you want to get to know a place, you're going to have to dig a little deeper. And what you find there might be a little strange. The Strange States series will take you on a virtual tour of America to uncover the unusual … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If someday you ever get carded while buying vanilla extract, blame this person [Dumbass]

Monday 12 January 18:53:13 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: Here's what happened while you were blackout drunk last week [FarkBlog]

Monday 12 January 18:36:31 UTC 2015

FarkBlog [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Walmart steps up in the war against "gang culture" by defying the Bloods, Crips, and Rural Texans [Strange]

Monday 12 January 18:34:20 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [141 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Keys To The Matchup: Keys To The Matchup: Oregon vs. Ohio State

Monday 12 January 18:30:00 UTC 2015

Keys To The Matchup: Oregon vs. Ohio State
[Link]

The Onion » Woman Celebrates 4th Year Of Weaning Self Off Facebook

Monday 12 January 18:28:00 UTC 2015

PITTSBURGH—Renewing her intention to cut back a little and only log onto the social network a few times a week at most, area woman Kathy Ward reportedly celebrated her fourth anniversary Tuesday of weaning herself off Facebook.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I wish to plead the fifth." "That's nice, but did you know you're in Canada?" [Dumbass]

Monday 12 January 18:22:31 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Yeah, let me have a Big Mac, large fries, medium Coke, and a strawberry Souls of the Damned" (Some Not safe for work content in article's sidebar) [Misc]

Monday 12 January 18:14:29 UTC 2015

Misc [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Government: Oh, the jury awarded you $11.5 million because police murdered your husband? How quaint. Here's $400,000, now get out of here before we experience a Taser malfunction [Obvious]

Monday 12 January 18:12:19 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » North Korea denies that they're bringing their restaurant chain to Scotland. Says their meals of "Dirt and Gruel" can never compete with the fine dining cuisine of sheep stomach [Interesting]

Monday 12 January 18:00:37 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "We suspect it to be a sex orgy cum birthday party" [Interesting]

Monday 12 January 17:46:24 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Stephen Hawking's Big Ideas, Made Simple

Monday 12 January 17:40:00 UTC 2015

If you've ever wondered what specifically Stephen Hawking's big contributions to science were, and you have two and a half minutes to spare, this animation is for you. It's brief, easy to understand, and gets to the point with nice narration by Alok Jha. So here, in a very brief and simple way, are some of Stephen Hawking's big ideas: … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Atheist churchgoers complain their church is too much like church, despite hymns like "Eye of the Tiger" [Strange]

Monday 12 January 17:30:01 UTC 2015

Strange [link] [128 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Normally a highway patrol officer won't shake your hand and laugh it off after he pulls you over for going 92 mph. Unless you're an off-duty cop [Obvious]

Monday 12 January 17:19:21 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Owners stunned when micro-pig goes macro (Some Not safe for work content in article's sidebar) [Obvious]

Monday 12 January 17:05:41 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pope tells women they can get topless in the Sistine Chapel. Praise the Lord [Cool]

Monday 12 January 17:03:48 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » When English’s Ambiguities Come Home to Roost

Monday 12 January 17:03:38 UTC 2015

Writer handing director a piece of peppermint bark: Be careful. It’s very hard on your teeth.Designer: It can really do some damage.Marketing director: You guys are going about it all wrong. You have to learn to eat it like a beaver.16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Jack Spratt for the Twenty-First Century

Monday 12 January 17:03:37 UTC 2015

Intern: I’ve never had butt sex. I’m saving it for marriage. Since I’m not a virgin anymore, I have to save something for my husband.Friend: You’re so dumb. You should have done what I did. I ONLY have butt sex, so I’m still a virgin.Pour House Bar, Capital Hill
Washington, District of Columbia [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Wouldn't Fit?

Monday 12 January 17:03:36 UTC 2015

Manager: and then he got mad at me because my tongue's too big!Tampa, FloridaOverheard by: h [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Pakistan Is Up Here Wishing the Same Thing

Monday 12 January 17:03:30 UTC 2015

Male lawyer to photocopier technician: Why do you do all that work rebuilding that part? I would think that you just throw it away and replace it with a new one.Technician: Nah, we don't throw away parts. If anything, we recycle them. There's valuable metals in there. In fact, copies have hard drives, and when we scrap a copier we remove … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 10AM Pre-meeting Prep

Monday 12 January 17:03:29 UTC 2015

VP: Wow that sounds bad. Do we need to have a pre-meeting about that meeting? 3415 Vision Drive
Columbus, Ohio [Link]

Mental Floss » 22 Things You Might Not Know About 'Inception'

Monday 12 January 17:00:00 UTC 2015

After The Dark Knight made $1 billion worldwide, Warner Bros. allowed director Christopher Nolan to make his passion project, Inception—though most passion projects don’t get a budget of $160 million. The confusing-but-exhilarating film made more than $800 million worldwide. Here are 22 things you might not know about the film. 1. Nolan wrote Inception in addition to directing it. He … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 9AM Back to Work

Monday 12 January 16:58:43 UTC 2015

Worker: Can you please help with the thingy, you know, um, over there?
Manager: Well done, very descriptive. 11766 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 12 January 16:49:04 UTC 2015

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 of History’s Biggest Pranksters

Monday 12 January 16:49:01 UTC 2015

When you think about the first woman to win a Nobel Prize, the first thing that comes to mind probably isn’t, “Marie Curie, you rascal.” Likewise, solemn pictures of FDR and his fireside chats probably don’t inspire you to say, “That FDR was such a scamp.” But the truth is, even some of the most serious figures from history liked … [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Morse Code

Monday 12 January 16:48:57 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two women at a nursing home get in an argument and make up over a game of Bingo. Just kidding, one stabbed the other [Dumbass]

Monday 12 January 16:44:02 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [28 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Study Finds Employees Most Productive When They Can Set Their Own Salaries

Monday 12 January 16:25:00 UTC 2015

PHILADELPHIA—Describing it as an effective strategy for boosting office morale and worker output, a study released this week by researchers at the Wharton School of Business has found that employees are most productive when they are free to set thei…
[Link]

FMyLife » nick says FML

Monday 12 January 16:23:41 UTC 2015

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism". FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pope Francis to clinch the NLDS this year, after-market stick shifts outlawed in Russia, and Calvin Klein enlarges a giant dick: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/4 – 1/10 [FarkBlog]

Monday 12 January 16:21:03 UTC 2015

FarkBlog [link] [5 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The American Dialect Society's Word of the Year

Monday 12 January 16:15:00 UTC 2015

For the 25th year, the American Dialect Society has chosen a word of the year by a live and occasionally rowdy vote in a roomful of linguists at their annual conference. Here are some of the words that made an impact this year. 1. #BLACKLIVESMATTER (WORD OF THE YEAR) The overall winner this year was #blacklivesmatter, the hashtag that emerged … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fifty-six dead and nearly two hundred ill after woman brews traditional Mozambique beer with crocodile bile [Sad]

Monday 12 January 16:09:59 UTC 2015

Sad [link] [89 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » briiiiiiii123 says FML

Monday 12 January 15:56:24 UTC 2015

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » We Can't Have Radio Control Cars Zipping Down the Hallways

Monday 12 January 15:50:48 UTC 2015

Admin assistant: So, the batteries are in that bin over there when you need them, you know, for office uses and stuff.Boss: Yeah, no personal use for your…personal toys.San Diego, CaliforniaOverheard by: Kimberly [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember, if you're going to cheat on your wife, make sure your favorite sports car is in your name [Fail]

Monday 12 January 15:42:05 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [70 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Guards Gun Down Four Angels Escaping From Heaven

Monday 12 January 15:42:00 UTC 2015

THE HEAVENS—Killing four and critically wounding several others, armed guards dispatched from the Right Hand of God reportedly opened fire early Monday morning on a group of angels attempting to escape from heaven. One of the Eternal Kingdom’s…
[Link]

The Onion » White House Running Out Of Paintings To Cover Spots Where Obama Has Punched Through Wall

Monday 12 January 15:39:00 UTC 2015

White House Running Out Of Paintings To Cover Spots Where Obama Has Punched Through Wall
[Link]

The Onion » Les Miles Assures Recruits’ Parents His Players Are Like Sons He Can Cut At Any Time

Monday 12 January 15:36:00 UTC 2015

BATON ROUGE, LA—While speaking to several potential Louisiana State University football recruits Monday, head coach Les Miles reportedly reassured the high schoolers’ parents that he considers the players on his team like his own sons whom he …
[Link]

The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of January 12, 2015

Monday 12 January 15:35:00 UTC 2015

The Week In Pictures – Week Of January 12, 2015
[Link]

The Onion » Doctors Recommend Getting 8 Centuries Of Cryosleep

Monday 12 January 15:33:00 UTC 2015

STANFORD, CA—Claiming that the practice is essential for effectively recharging the body and waking fully rested and alert, doctors at Stanford University issued a report Monday emphasizing the importance of getting at least eight centuries of atomi…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » A mysterious mile-wide ring in Antarctica is now believed to have been caused by a ten-year old meteorite. Or Megatron [Cool]

Monday 12 January 15:22:11 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [71 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: Sister's Act

Monday 12 January 15:07:00 UTC 2015

Sister's Act
[Link]

Mental Floss » Why Are Electrical Plugs Different in Europe?

Monday 12 January 15:00:00 UTC 2015

Jason asks: “I just got back from my first trip to London. I knew going in that the electric plugs were different, but it still threw me off. Is there a reason the plugs evolved differently? What does the rest of the world do?” In a nutshell, plugs and sockets differ from region to region and even country to country … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Responsible gun owners allow one-year-old daughter to put a handgun in her mouth and say 'pow' [Asinine]

Monday 12 January 14:50:02 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [408 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Um, Those Are My Kids.

Monday 12 January 14:48:01 UTC 2015

Boss to coworker: “Booger” is a good word. So is “butthole.” That one makes me laugh.Ojai, California [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gay pastor ignored biological impulses to marry a woman and became a major news story thanks to NPR. Now the guy's brother is pissed and doesn't understand how the internet works [Followup]

Monday 12 January 14:31:57 UTC 2015

Followup [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 41: The Tragic Tale of the Lady Be Good

Monday 12 January 14:14:46 UTC 2015


The American bomber Lady Be Good left North Africa for a bombing run over Italy in 1943. It wasn’t seen again until 15 years later, when explorers discovered its broken remains deep in the Libyan desert. In this episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll review the strange history of the lost aircraft and trace the desperate last days of … [Link]

Weird Universe » Little Irvy the Frozen Whale

Monday 12 January 14:09:32 UTC 2015


"Little Irvy" was a 20-ton whale harpooned on July 1, 1967, destined to be sold as dog food. But instead his body was bought by showman Jerry "Tyrone" Malone, who froze it with liquid nitrogen and then spent the next 25 years hauling it around the United States in a refrigerated truck, displaying it as a sideshow attraction. Malone advertised … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Theme: Void where prohibited by law [Photoshop]

Monday 12 January 14:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Well It's Clear on My Desktop Wallpaper, Anyway.

Monday 12 January 13:46:06 UTC 2015

Ubergeek on phone: I am up in Davenport right now, and it's quite clear, and rumor has it Schwarzenegger will be here tomorrow.Neighbor geek: Stop pretending like you go outside and can enjoy good weather.Davenport, California [Link]

FMyLife » reallyson? says FML

Monday 12 January 13:28:23 UTC 2015

Today, I got undressed in front of my boyfriend for the first time. His reaction? "You're chubbier than I expected". FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Do you still have your Christmas tree up? You do? Amateurs. This guy has has not taken down his real tree for 40 years now [Sappy]

Monday 12 January 13:25:10 UTC 2015

Sappy [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Toxic Psalms

Monday 12 January 12:52:27 UTC 2015

Just in case you can't discern the merits or purpose of this piece on your own, here is The New York Times to explain it all for you.

[Link]

Overheard In The Office » Though, When We Hired Him, He Seemed Brazilliant

Monday 12 January 12:39:41 UTC 2015

Coworker: Did you know Tom* was fired?Boss: I guess he was bolivious to the the fact he just didn't have the education to keep up with the workload.Louisville, KentuckyOverheard by: stuckinacube [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Accountant leaves his regular job to become full-time zombie. So, basically a lateral move [Obvious]

Monday 12 January 12:33:18 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [26 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » yankeeboy123 says FML

Monday 12 January 11:57:39 UTC 2015

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her reason? Not enough guys have been liking her photos on Instagram since we started dating. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Narragansett Brewery Draws Inspiration from H. P. Lovecraft

Monday 12 January 11:57:36 UTC 2015

This year, Rhode Island brewery Narragansett turns 125. And so would Rhode Island native H. P. Lovecraft, if he were still around. So the former decided to draw inspiration from the latter to celebrate. "We’re celebrating our 125th anniversary here and this is kind of an extension of what we’ve been trying to do at the brewery, bringing back this … [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 12 January 11:11:42 UTC 2015

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Gluta: The Incredibly Photogenic Rescue Dog

Monday 12 January 11:00:00 UTC 2015

Mondays don't have to be terrible. Just look at this dog dressed like a sunflower and let all your workday blues wash away. Before she was playing dress-up, Gluta (short for Glutathione) was a stray, living on the streets of Thailand. She suffered from numerous ailments, including pyometra and skin disease. Luckily, video maker Sorasart Wisetsin took the stray in, … [Link]

Mental Floss » Morse Code

Monday 12 January 10:37:00 UTC 2015

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » People are outraged OUTRAGED as Cadbury's Creme Eggs packs get smaller yet the price stays the same [Silly]

Monday 12 January 10:30:49 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [121 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The 2015 Golden Globe Awards

Monday 12 January 10:00:51 UTC 2015

Here Are All The Winners At The 2015 Golden Globes. Tina Fey And Amy Poehler were winners without even being nominated.
*
An Orson Welles-Worthy Science Fiction Film Marathon. The 100th anniversary of Welles’ birth is as good an excuse as any to watch the history of cinematic sci-fi.
*
5 Mysteries And Thrillers Coming In January. You might figure out … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mass Shooting in Moscow [Scary]

Monday 12 January 8:39:43 UTC 2015

Scary [link] [122 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » thirsty af says FML

Monday 12 January 8:21:14 UTC 2015

Today, I paid someone $30 to give me a hickey so I could prove I had a social life. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 12 January 8:21:13 UTC 2015

Today, after listening to a group of my friends ranting on about how much they love babies and can't wait to have them, I got to witness their looks of horror and disgust as I expressed my desire to not have children. I also happened to be the only girl there. FML [Link]

FMyLife » janegeorge says FML

Monday 12 January 8:21:12 UTC 2015

Today, a guy called me out of the blue. Apparently, he'd copied my number from a sheet we'd filled out in church. He doesn't understand why I'm "overreacting". FML [Link]

Futility Closet » The Hidden Psalm

Monday 12 January 6:56:37 UTC 2015

The final movement on John Coltrane’s 1965 album A Love Supreme is a “musical narration” of a devotional poem that Coltrane included in the album’s liner notes — he put the handwritten poem on a music stand and “played” it as if it were music. “Coltrane’s hushed delivery sounds deliberately speechlike,” write Ashley Kahn in his 2003 history of the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's First World Problem: Clocks are too precise [Stupid]

Monday 12 January 6:15:14 UTC 2015

Stupid [link] [162 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two Tuskegee Airmen, both 91 years old, die in their homes in Los Angeles on the same day [Hero]

Monday 12 January 6:11:16 UTC 2015

Hero [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hey baby, want a ride in my Victorian era wrought-iron carriage? [Obvious]

Monday 12 January 5:44:44 UTC 2015

Obvious [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman wakes up after passing out at party to find a dick tattooed on her shoulder. Classic dick move [Amusing]

Monday 12 January 5:41:37 UTC 2015

Amusing [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: "The Knockout Game" The new hotness: "Knockouts for Jesus" [Asinine]

Monday 12 January 4:30:21 UTC 2015

Asinine [link] [161 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » anonymous says FML

Monday 12 January 4:10:01 UTC 2015

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dude busted for recklessly driving his awesome gas-powered beer cooler [Fail]

Monday 12 January 3:56:56 UTC 2015

Fail [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Don’t Even Be Eatin’ That Yogurt in Front of Me

Monday 12 January 3:47:03 UTC 2015

Boss: There’s pizza in the back room for everyone in appreciation of your hard work!Employee #1: Hey, Jen*, can you save me a slice? I can’t leave my desk right now.Employee #2: Sure, I’ll bring two back. There should be enough for two slices per person.Employee #3: You know, I work harder than the rest of you all combined; therefore, I … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Eddie Bauer Even Sold Eddie Bauer

Monday 12 January 3:47:02 UTC 2015

Woman #1: Look at this shirt! It says Eddie Bauer. I thought they just made trucks?Woman #2: Eddie Bauer makes all kinds of things. They make baby clothes. They make cologne.Thrift Store
Toledo, Ohio [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Oh, Nothing *Sigh*

Monday 12 January 3:47:01 UTC 2015

Coworker: Hey, Sarah, how's your grammar?Sarah: My grandma? She died two years ago. Why?Newcastle
England [Link]

Overheard In The Office » You'd Think It Would Say on the Bottle

Monday 12 January 3:47:00 UTC 2015

Office peon: How many of these one-a-day vitamins am I supposed to take every day?Nashville, TennesseeOverheard by: You take your time… [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Sure, Just Fill Out a Freudian Slip

Monday 12 January 3:46:54 UTC 2015

Boss on cell: Is T&A an option? Uh… No, I meant “time and expense.” Is T&E an option? New York City, New York Overheard by: It's ALWAYS an option Republished by Blog Post Promoter [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Transgender woman who injected glue and tire sealant into flats still unhappy with bond [Florida]

Monday 12 January 3:41:51 UTC 2015

Florida [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » The Body's Natural Response to Cancer

Monday 12 January 3:36:57 UTC 2015

Coworker #1: It says here, if a man's index finger is longer than their ring finger they're a third less likely to develop pancreatic cancer.Coworker #2: Wait, this is your ring finger, right?(people laugh)Coworker #1: That's your 'fuck you' finger!Manhattan, New York [Link]

Mental Floss » Name the NFL Teams in Order of Their Last Super Bowl Win

Monday 12 January 3:28:42 UTC 2015

[Link]

FMyLife » StabStab says FML

Monday 12 January 3:28:42 UTC 2015

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being insecure and feeling threatened by the fact that she has a daughter from a previous relationship. She's vaguely right; I feel threatened, but mainly because the psycho keeps threatening to stab me to death when her mom isn't around to hear. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 12 January 3:28:41 UTC 2015

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML [Link]

FMyLife » kumcat says FML

Monday 12 January 3:28:40 UTC 2015

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply "#rekt", then "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » What Are Eye Boogers, Anyway?

Monday 12 January 3:04:54 UTC 2015

What is this stuff, and where does it come from? [Link]

The Onion » FCC Sniper Takes Out Matthew McConaughey To Prevent Live Broadcast Of Profanity

Monday 12 January 3:00:00 UTC 2015

BEVERLY HILLS, CA—Having vowed an oath to enforce the government agency’s strict decency standards, a Federal Communications Commission sniper positioned inside the Beverly Hilton Hotel successfully prevented the live broadcast of profanity Su…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » "So many couples seek the help of professionals to have their marriage dissolved after the strains of the Christmas season that the first Monday of the first working week of the year is known among lawyers as Divorce Monday" [Interesting]

Monday 12 January 2:47:21 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beer-glazed maple bacon. Got your attention now? [Spiffy]

Monday 12 January 1:43:21 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Last Time You Were in There, You Commented Cattily on Everyone's Attire!

Monday 12 January 1:32:10 UTC 2015

Female shop assistant: Sorry sir, but you'll have to stand outside. These changing rooms are for women only.Cocky Spaniard: So?Female shop assistant: You're a man.Cocky Spaniard: But I'm gay!Female shop assistant: That's not really my problem, sir. Please wait outside.Massimo Dutti Store
DubaiOverheard by: Keep Digging! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this kingdom and its proletariat [Photoshop]

Monday 12 January 1:00:01 UTC 2015

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Free speech in America: When the Smith College president gave a speech saying "we're just wild and crazy," the transcript replaced "crazy" with "ableist slur." Comments to the right, but please, no intelligence-impaired wo

Monday 12 January 0:50:42 UTC 2015

Silly [link] [268 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beer pairings for Girl Scout cookies [Cool]

Monday 12 January 0:50:41 UTC 2015

Cool [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The history of American linguistic synonyms for intoxication [Interesting]

Monday 12 January 0:48:14 UTC 2015

Interesting [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How does getting a helicopter for free cost you $2 million? Difficulty: Newark, New Jersey [Dumbass]

Monday 12 January 0:45:35 UTC 2015

Dumbass [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I Despise Decent Human Beings

Monday 12 January 0:29:05 UTC 2015

Guy in elevator: Was he gracious?Girl in elevator: Yes.Guy: He’s such a dweeb.Park Avenue
New York City, New YorkOverheard by: BeccaGo [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tips help CHiPs arrest guy who stole Harley-Davidson motorcycle from Grumpy's Tavern. And … cue theme song [Spiffy]

Monday 12 January 0:16:32 UTC 2015

Spiffy [link] [27 comments] [Link]

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