Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Overheard In The Office » …Used Condoms, First-Born Children, Heroin…
Male flight attendant holding garbage bag and walking down aisle: Trash, garbage, jewelery, wallets. Trash, garbage, jewelery, wallets…Continental Flight from Berlin to Newark, New Jersey [Link]
Weird Universe » News of the Weird, January 11, 2015
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M405, January 11, 2015
Copyright 2015 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
People’s love for their pets reached a new high in December when a British man paid a veterinarian the equivalent of $500 to perform delicate surgery on a sick office goldfish (typical pet store “replacement” price: $1-$5). Vet Faye Bethell of North … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The coyote takeover of New York City is just a matter of time [Obvious]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » FDNY Ice rescue drill interrupted by ice rescue. Firemen say now they're really looking forward to next month's supermodel rescue drill [Interesting]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In a post-Christmas miracle, dozens of people are having visions after eating Jesus-cake [Strange]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Quit smoking drug implicated in 30 suicides. I guess it really works [Sad]
[link] [166 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML [Link]
FMyLife » so much for romance says FML
Today, I got a yeast infection, caused by the antibiotics for my UTI. I got the UTI after having sex for the first time in a year. A couple of minutes of sex have ruined my health. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this mysterious place [Photoshop]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scilly police baffled after fried egg found at crime scene. Ridiculous police issue APB and arrest warrant for bacon; hash browns also wanted for questioning [Silly]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: The Universal Language?
Research conducted with Mbenzele Pygmies from the Democratic Republic of Congo, who listened to the theme from Psycho without shivering and Wagner's Tristan und Isolde without crying, seems to contradict the notion that music is a "universal language." * One man’s build-up of lint is another man’s fascinating art project. * Yearly check-ups at the doctor may be going out … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Meh, unless you wake up in a place where everyone is speaking Farsi, it's not a real bender [Obvious]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Oscar Mayer mansion is up for sale in Chicago. Someone let Abe Froman know, he'll probably want in on this [Interesting]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » …so, a hard day's knight? [Spiffy]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » NYPD officers told they can't take vacation time or sick days until they stop their work slowdown and issue more tickets [Followup]
[link] [147 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Biggest health risk in Scotland, after eating Scottish food and drinking Scottish booze? Breathing Scottish air [Scary]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » British children's hospitals forced to chain toys to sick kids' cribs with bicycle locks because thieves are stealing them all (w/ pics that will make you sad inside) [Sad]
[link] [108 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So the courthouse was closed even though you planned to be married, what are you going to do? Get a police officer to marry you instead [Spiffy]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Jem says FML
Today, I was fired for "blatant, inexcusable racism". My boss had asked me which website background I preferred for our company, and I said that white backgrounds are usually best. He thinks that I believe in white supremacy, and that's bad for the company's image. FML [Link]
FMyLife » SadSister:( says FML
Today, I was in the car with my 4-year-old sister and our puppy. Suddenly, she blurted out from the backseat, "I don't love you anymore." Shocked, I asked her to repeat herself. She looked me straight in the eye and said, "The puppy doesn't love you either." FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What are New Yorkers reading on the subway? "The Elements of Style." Of course they are [Interesting]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » High school senior: Retouching my yearbook photo to hide blemishes and even out the skin tone? Thanks. Making my face thinner? Now you've gone too far [Obvious]
[link] [83 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A stray potato seems to have found its way to my doorstep. It's so cute, and I want to keep it, but I have no idea how to care for a potato. Any advice? [Amusing]
[link] [131 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Golden Gate is shutting down, shutting down, shutting down [Interesting]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's finally time to replace "speed kills" with "stupid driving kills" [Obvious]
[link] [72 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Kids weigh in on sprinkler leak at daycare center. Reporter desperate for story [Silly]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Tail found, but no box [Followup]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Yurrup… [peers over bifocals]… you've lost *another* Russian sub? Sigh [Interesting]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
The Onion » World Unites In Desire To Have A Little More Time Between Terrorist Attacks
PARIS—Citing the immense crowds gathered at rallies in Paris and scores of other cities across the globe, sources confirmed Sunday that the world has united in its common desire to have a little more time between terrorist attacks. 
[Link]
The Onion » Report: Fan Chose To Buy Team’s Away Jersey
GREEN BAY, WI—Reports from Lambeau Field confirmed Sunday that a local Green Bay Packers fan, for whatever reason, evidently decided to at some point buy and now wear the team’s away jersey instead of its traditional green-and-gold jersey. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Camel kills two at Texas farm, says this was revenge for his lost brother Joe [Scary]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Having experience in jungle survival, possessing martial arts proficiency, being a wine and food aficionado. James Bond? Nope. Bear Grylls? Nah. Your friendly flight attendant? Bingo [Interesting]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How Sriracha is Made
David Tran puts Sriracha on his Sriracha. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this one vehicle pileup [Photoshop]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Get Lost [CSB]
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Seesaw Ballet
via Redundant Variety Hour [Link]
Weird Universe » Volto!
I do believe I've featured Volto before, but I could not resist another encounter with him. Hope you all agree he deserves more fame!
The Complete Volto Archives here. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Well, You Guys Are the Engineers, So If You Say It Needs to Be Made out of Platinum…
Tech: So do you think that we should go for this project?Boss: Absolutely. The client is ridiculously stupid, but they are open-minded.Bishopsgate, LondonOverheard by: whyamIhere? [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Get Out the Bear Mace, Sweetie
Passenger: My daughter is burning that DVD for you. I’ll drop it by when she’s done it.Station worker: Thanks! You really don’t have to.Another mother, to her toddler: Sound’s like someone’s breaching copyright!Turramurra Station
Sydney
AustraliaOverheard by: Andrew [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Next Thing You Know, Old Jed's a Millionaire
Accounting manager on phone to accountant: I will need you to watch The Beverly Hillbillies season 1 finale, and submit full character synopsis by COB… Yes, it's a priority. Thank you.Dallas, Texas [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And a Cat'll Cut a Bitch
14-year-old girl to another: I bet you would get drop-kicked in the head if you tried to put eyeliner on a dog.Lansing, Michigan [Link]
Overheard In The Office » It’s Only a Paradox If You Intend to Do Any of That
Boss: So, the word from corporate is that we’re supposed to hang these on the windows as part of the new plan from Marketing?
Marketing assistant: Yeah.
Boss: But corporate service requirements say we’re not ever allowed to hang anything on any windows.
Marketing assistant: Right. Essentially, we have to figure out a way to put them on the windows without actually putting them … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 4PM Summer Ad Campaign
Employee: Well, did we decide against boobs? 163 Freelon Street
San Francisco, California Overheard by: Eve S. Dropper [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …While He's Sleeping.
Coworker: We can look at his package.Fort Worth, Texas [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "One terrorist showing little regard for health and safety guidance continued to pour the fuel onto the fire as it burned" [Misc]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The number of children being home-schooled in America keeps rising as the standards for teaching them keep dropping. What could go wrong? [Stupid]
[link] [208 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Chinese Government: “Who Told You They Exist?”
Female co-worker: Oh my god, I love gay Asians!Ad Agency
Florida [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Russian investigative group presents compelling evidence MH17 was accidentally shot down by pre-serum Steve Rogers [Followup]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » German investigative group presents compelling evidence that MH17 was shot down by Russian Buk surface-to-air launcher that had illegally encroached on Ukrainian soil [Followup]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » News outlet attacked for reprinting Charlie Hebdo ca– [News]
[link] [200 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » That Explains Some of the Stains, Though
Lawyer: Oh, he’s a philanderer?Legal assistant: No, he works at a paint store.14340 57th Avenue
Surrey, British Columbia, Canada [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Are you an orphan? Are you disabled? Do you live in Russia, where they've recently banned Americans from adopting you? Sorry, kid, you're probably in the state orphanage for life [Sad]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In the Jewish Supermarket shooting in Paris, one employee risked his life and saved 15 people…a Muslim employee. And his response to the media "We are brothers. It's not a question of Jews, of Christians or of Muslims" [Hero]
[link] [105 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you won a million dollars, what would you do with it? [Survey]
[link] [260 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man posts bold declaration "It's only murder if they find the body" on Facebook, learns just how wrong he is [Dumbass]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Math and Poetry
In 1972 the Belgian mathematician Edouard Zeckendorf established Zeckendorf’s theorem: that every positive integer can be represented as the sum of non-consecutive Fibonacci numbers in one and only one way. In 1979 French poet Paul Braffort celebrated this with a series of 20 poems, My Hypertropes. Each of the 20 poems in the series is informed by the foregoing poems … [Link]
FMyLife » sadlrana121 says FML
Today, I psyched myself up and headed out to a really promising job interview. I was sure I was going to nail it and get my first job. That is, until a bird shat on my head on my way there. Thank you so very much, universe. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fourth graders in trouble for plotting to kill their teacher with hand sanitizer [Scary]
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Orlando Airport is Orlando's new place for: A) Spotting Mickey & Minnie, B) Getting molested by the TSA, C) The homeless to hang out and panhandle [Florida]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Farting near a girl? That's a beating [Scary]
[link] [107 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Episode Of Full House You Never Saw
Boss: What's the hourly rate for Becky? (pause) I want to know her hourly rate. How much per hour?Lexington, KentuckyOverheard by: Brian [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Only One of Those Can Be Eliminated
Director of nursing: I mean, you gotta be able to recognize the signs and be able to say, ‘That’s not a fear of dying, that’s constipation!’Hospice
Denver, Colorado [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Remember How He TPed Her House Last Week?
Coworker: Have a good day, Susan*.Susan*: Jesus is going to get her.Raleigh, North Carolina [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 11AM Monitor Calls
CSR: Sir? Sir, are you there?
Customer: Oh, I dozed off! Sorry I do that sometimes. Later in the call… CSR: Is that okay, sir?…Sir, are you still there?…Sir? did you fall asleep again? Sir?
Customer: Why would you ask me if I fell asleep? 5767 West Sunrise Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida Overheard by: cubiclejunky [Link]
Overheard In The Office » What Fun Is It If “Man” Just Means “Human Being”?
Male boss to female employee: Hey, did you get all that done?Female employee: Yep, just finished.Boss: Wow! You da man! I mean… You're not a man… But you da man! You da equivalent of da man!Female employee: Uh… Okay.Boss, with no enthusiasm: You da man…(walks away)Bellingham, Washington [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 4PM Retreat Planning Meeting
Committee Lead: Okay, how about some pros for holding the picnic at the zoo?
Committee Member: Monkeys slinging poo! 20800 Harvard Road
Cleveland, Ohio [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Eerie frigid photos of Michigan's ice covered St Joseph Lighthouse are something almost from another world [Strange]
[link] [96 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » gotta_respond says FML
Today, I went to the supermarket with my husband and kids. A crazy old man started yelling at us and challenged us to fight him outside. Security had to escort us to our car. Why was he so mad? Our cart momentarily blocked his path to the beef jerky samples. FML [Link]
FMyLife » sisterlylove says FML
Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this familiar yellow hat [Photoshop]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What will happen to Oregon's pot-detecting K-9s when marijuana becomes legal? [Interesting]
[link] [98 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "It's as though you are handing out hand grenades as party favors. It's a disaster waiting to happen" [Interesting]
[link] [102 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » For once Sweden's Gavle Goat made it through a holiday season without getting torched by arsons, assaulted by drunks, or being run over by a Volvo [Strange]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » bensim64 says FML
Today, I had to go back to the restaurant I had just eaten at and beg for my tip back so I could afford my bus home. FML [Link]
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