Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Overheard In The Office » Or Did You Mean That the President Has a Fertile Mind?
Peon #1: There's sperm on the President's head!Peon #2: I'm really glad that I know you're talking about your Obama Chia Pet.Fremont, WashingtonOverheard by: I guess he's a grower, not a shower. [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: 'Back to the Future' Sneakers
Those much-coveted Back to the Future II sci-fi Nike sneakers are about to become reality, power laces and all. * 2016 is looking to be a good year for Wicked fans, when the alternate story of The Wizard of Oz's not-so-Wicked Witch of the West might finally hit the big screen. * Everyone has their own personal hell, from a … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » McDonald's hopes you will take advantage of the lower gas prices by eating out more [Interesting]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » And here's the latest bulletin from our 'Mate, Hold My Lager And Watch This" desk [Fail]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Normally a relationship between an 18-year-old male and a 23-year-old female isn't newsworthy. Unless he's still a high school student and she's his hot teacher [Interesting]
[link] [209 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You should avoid flying United through Denver right now, unless you have a few extra hours to kill and you don't particularly like your stuff [Scary]
[link] [168 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Couple who have gotten 'unofficially' married 66 times around the world are planning a traditional Maori ceremony in New Zealand for number 67 further proving some people have too much time and money [Strange]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rescue two Bald Eagles that fell out of their nest? That's an arresting. MURICA [Stupid]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man, who wouldn't want to work in a shipping container converted into an office? [Scary]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Stat of the day: Number of people in Times Square for New Year's Eve: one million. Number of NYPD officers on scene: several thousand. Number of citations issued that night: zero [Followup]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Just because you filmed yourself robbing a bank doesn't mean you can then say it was all part of an art project when you later get arrested. "It's not a crime; it's artwork…. He's an intellectual" [Dumbass]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oil industry thinks it's freaking hilarious that New York State has banned fracking, noting that New York's petroleum reserves are about as valuable as those of Delaware, America's smallest state [Dumbass]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop the happy cotton candy man [Photoshop]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A lieutenant colonel returns from Africa to find that a 1972 Gremlin her father bequeathed her had been towed and sold [Florida]
[link] [142 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » By identical 14-7 votes, the Newton, Massachusetts Board of Aldermen decided to keep a River Street property in the Business 1 zoning district and eliminate nuclear weapons within five years [PSA]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » News: War on terror gets major new ally in Anonymous. Fark: Which threatens to shutter jihadists' social media accounts [Stupid]
[link] [90 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The behavioral psychology of bicyclists to the left, why you think that entitles you to running them into a ditch to the right [Interesting]
[link] [142 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Long Story Short, I Need a Tourniquet
Secretary: That thing that cuts paper, what's it called… Paper cutter!Los Angeles, California [Link]
Overheard In The Office » For the Record, I Call My Vibrator “The Bird”
Supervisor: I think my bird is dying. What should I do?Coworker #1: Put it in a bag and tie it to your car exhaust.Coworker #2: Put it in the freezer.Coworker #3: Put in a bag and whack it.Supervisor: You people scare me… Go back to work.Chicago, Illinois [Link]
Overheard In The Office » … She Was Telling Me a Pointless Story.
Eager peon: Did I tell you I had a dream about Whoopi? It’s so funny, because — and you’ll find this funny — it’s so weird, I promise you. I had this dream with Whoopi, I guess because she’s on The View now, and I had this the weekend before she was on The View, and I had this dream that … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » It’s All-Natural Stink, Though
Executive secretary: Well, we might be a scent-free workplace, but we are certainly not a stink-free workplace.Topeka, KansasOverheard by: Denise [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I’ll Send You Periodic Texts on My Progress
Office lady: I’m off to the bathroom! I couldn’t get the poop du jour out before work this morning!Indianapolis, IndianaOverheard by: please hold while I alert the media [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If the defroster in that SUV you bought at city auction a few years ago isn't working, it could be the 41 pounds of pot that's still hidden in the dashboard [Interesting]
[link] [76 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » kb says FML
Today, I accidentally sent my teacher a picture of me in my boyfriend's boxers instead of my essay. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I found my intoxicated step-father in our back yard trying to domesticate a stray opossum, attempting to give it steak and malt liquor. FML [Link]
FMyLife » anon says FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were going to sext before going to sleep. It was very late, but I said I'd stay up for him. He sent a text asking me if I was ready. Me replying "yes" was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep on my horny boyfriend. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police called to all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant by customers who complained staff weren't letting them eat all they could [Strange]
[link] [111 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …According to the Postal Service
Editor: Yeah, I don't think we even had the crib set up when we brought my son home from the hospital. He spent the first few weeks in a pack-and-play next to the bed. Really, you can just put them in a box and they're fine.Publishing House
Baltimore, MD [Link]
Overheard In The Office » What Working for Cirque Du Soleil Must Be Like
Agitated American Apparel cashier to another: Listen, if you're going to borrow my bodysuit, you have to wear a hygienic pad!Philadelphia, Pennsylvania [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Stop me if you've heard this one before…George Zimmerman arrested on aggravated assault ch [Obvious]
[link] [468 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sometimes barns could have valuable surprises. A Shelby Cobra car found in one could fetch a cool million [Spiffy]
[link] [83 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for threatening family after losing board game. YAHTZEE [Dumbass]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You can't bring a knife to a gunfight and expect to win, but if you bring a shovel, you've got a chance [Florida]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How cold was it Thursday? Mars was warmer than 14 states [Cool]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » It's such a drag when My victims are ready and waiting
30-something woman: Hehehe, so why are you sneaking out the back way?30-something man: People are too nosey. I like to stay under the radar; hone my ninja skills.30-something woman: You are way too wacko.30-soemthing man: The good part is, when I kick your ass, you won't have seen it coming.Elmsford, New YorkOverheard by: Bored Beyond Belief [Link]
Mental Floss » Johnny Carson's 1980 "Cosmos" Parody
Billions and billions of laughs. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Eating an avocado a day helps to get rid of bad cholesterol, according to a study from The Hass Avocado Board [Obvious]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Romero closer to sainthood. Sainthood is the character or status of a saint, which is any of certain persons of exceptional holiness of life, formally recognized as such by the Christian Church, especially by canonization [Obvious]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » dylerbiller says FML
Today, three weeks after my sister took in a wounded porcupine from our backyard and let it roam about the house, I learned that it sheds quills from time to time. How did I learn this? By stepping on three of said quills hidden in the carpet. I still have only managed to pull one out. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this elephant somewhere unexpected [Photoshop]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 2PM Schedule Tech Course
Boss: Hey, my mouse arrow is reversed on the screen.
Worker: What…how?
Boss: If I go this way, it goes that way…Oh, never mind, I was holding it upside down. 10199 Riverford Road
Lakeside, California [Link]
Weird Universe » Cow Urine Floor Cleaner
The Holy Cow Foundation in India has succeeded in turning cow urine into a liquid cleanser that will soon be cleaning office floors throughout India. It's calling this new product Gaunyle. It says that the cow-urine product is safer than synthetic cleaners, it's "full of natural goodness," and its use will provide income for people who raise cows. So overall, its … [Link]
Weird Universe » Sexy Banana Spokeslady
This is really four commercials back to back. I like that sentient bananas are willing to strip their skins off and sacrifice themselves for humans.
Number three has one of the typical vintage representations of a cannibal for you to marvel at. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: a cardboard box for your cat. New and improved: a castle for the discriminating feline with a superiority complex, just in time for Caturday [Caturday]
[link] [611 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 10AM Finalize Vacations
Co-worker #1: Where’s [Kate]?
Co-worker #2: She’s off all week.
Co-worker #1: I’m off Wed through Fri. What are you off?
Co-worker #3: Her rocker. 7000 Cardinal Place
Dublin, Ohio Overheard by: Thenodrin [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The hotel that inspired 'The Shining' wants fans to drink some red rum and design a new hedge maze [Cool]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Buffet worker, there's a rat in my dish of salted vegetables and it's NOT doing the backstroke [Strange]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What do all of the controls in an airliner cockpit do? Funny you should ask [Interesting]
[link] [106 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Jilted husband: I don't care if you're a defenceless double amputee war hero, you're in bed with my wife and WILL get a beating [Obvious]
[link] [134 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Knights and Scoundrels
A problem from the 1994 Italian Mathematical Olympiad: Every inhabitant on the island of knights and scoundrels is either a knight (who always tells the truth) or a scoundrel (who always lies). A visiting journalist interviews each inhabitant exactly once and gets the following answers: A1: On this island there is at least one scoundrel.
A2: On this island there … [Link]
FMyLife » good2know says FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me my first ever orgasm. Then he bitched me out for insulting his intelligence, saying it was "blatantly fake" and that "women don't orgasm like that". FML [Link]
Weird Universe » A Whale Of A Beer
We have all heard of seasonal beers and ales.Many (most) of us have tried a few as well. In Iceland one of their breweries is producing an interesting seasonal brew. Each batch is flavored by one lightly salted, smoked whale testicle. Would anyone here try it if they could? [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Finally Something Will Be Sucking Besides Your Grades
Teacher to students, in creepy deep voice: Want a lollipop? I have many flavors!Sydney
Australia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 2PM Update EotM Wall
Employee #1: I can’t believe they made that bitch Employee of the Month.
Employee #2: Me, neither.
Employee #1: I’m going to the general manager.
Employee #2: Yeah, I’ll back you up. Later. Boss: Who the hell told her that was a good idea to come see me?
Employee #2: I don’t know, I tried to stop her. 999 South … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Unveiling the Official Phallic Status Symbol for the Twenty-First Century
CSR: Hey, your phone’s open!Courier: [looks at his crotch]1813 East 9th Street
Hopkinsville, KentuckyOverheard by: will1966 [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Ad: Aiden Could Configure Anything…Except His Own Life
Recruiter on phone: He's a hell of a configurer, but he just couldn't stay off crack.Durham, North Carolina [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Court to decide if Petraeus betrayed us [Followup]
[link] [95 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Medical Innovations of the Civil War
Civil War surgeons learned fast, and many of their MacGyver-like solutions have had a lasting impact. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Al Qaeda defector: Sleeper cells are all throughout the West, extremely organized, act as normal members of society. "What they are really doing is waiting for the right moment, then these sleeping cells eventually wake up and attack their target
[link] [315 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » After You Bring Me Back Some Onesies
Excited office lady #1: Hey Sandy! Huge baby clothing sale at Macy's today!Excited office lady #2: Really?Office guy, under his breath: Kill me.Melville, New YorkOverheard by: Super Mike [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "This is your Captain speaking, we're coming in SIDEWAYS… please reach under your seats and pull out the Depends" [Scary]
[link] [101 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I went to work and said hi to my boss. He reached towards me. I thought he was trying to give me a hug, so I awkwardly hugged him back. Turned out he was just trying to fix my shirt collar. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Kabuki Fart Theater
Intern #1, walking into conference room: Oh my god. I just farted. I'm really sorry, you guys. But it's gonna smell. I apologize. I'm really sorry.Intern #2: (begins folding at a rapid pace)Intern #3: (beings looking back and forth between intern #2 and Intern #4)Intern #4: (drops letters and sits in silence)Washington, DCOverheard by: holdin my breath until 4:45 [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Anderson Cooper helpfully corrects Chris Cuomo that a terrorist born in Paris to Senegalese immigrants is NOT "African American" [Dumbass]
[link] [146 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Local public television station loses 40% of its members when public finds out the executive director is making $600,000 a year [Fail]
[link] [101 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Weird Things That Have Fallen From the Sky
1. MEAT In 1876, a woman was making soap in her yard in Kentucky when small flakes of meat started falling from the sky. Two men who tasted the goods declared they were “either mutton or venison.” Scientists theorize that the “Kentucky meat shower” was caused by nauseated vultures. 2. RUBLES In 1940, 16th-century silver coins rained down on a … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Turns Out Tractors Are Just a Bunch Of Big Hoes
vp # 1 to vp #2 "that right there shows you what's wrong with the world. If you can't trust john deere then who the hell can you trust?!"51st & Harvard, Tulsa OK [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ABQ police run out of citizens to shoot, start firing on each other [Scary]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Gonna Be a Long Class
Trainer: Now, see, you just click and drag, like this. (he clicks and drags)Employee: Wait, can you show me that again?Saratoga Springs, New York [Link]
Weird Universe » Hotel Crane
This crane had become an eye sore that seemed unlikely to be renovated. Now it is a successful hotel of luxury suites. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In one town, an 11-year-old boy is single-handedly responsible for one fifth of the crime [Interesting]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police discover home in meth bust was site of drug deals for more than 20 years. That would grant it historical landmark status, right? [Unlikely]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this beast out of the sea [Photoshop]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Happy Birthday, Connecticut!
On January 9, 1788 (227 years ago today), Connecticut became our nation's fifth state. It has been around for so long and features such a rich and storied history—what do you get the state that has given us the telephone book, nuclear-powered submarines, PEZ candy, the can opener, ESPN, and clams on pizza? Many of my closest friends are from … [Link]
Mental Floss » Video Proof That Dogs Would Make the Best Tennis Ball Boys
Some of the best tennis players in the world were no match for these enthusiastic ball boys. Venus Williams took on two-time Grand Slam winner Svetlana Kuznetsova in a recent friendly match in Auckland, New Zealand, but a trio of four-legged ball boys completely stole the show. Ted, Oscar, and Super Teddy—a bull mastiff, border collie, and Jack Russell-Norfolk terrier-miniature … [Link]
FMyLife » je suis christy says FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » You Just Want to See My Ore-O-Face
Coworker, discussing mint Oreos: I stuffed four of them in this morning.Boss: Can you stuff six?Coworker: I don't know. Maybe not at once.Baltimore, Maryland [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So, that hostage situation was exciting, huh? Wonder what's been going on in the rest of the world while we were all glued to our TVs? [Scary]
[link] [143 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Monstrous Facts About Megalosaurus
Wikimedia Commons This English predator was among the first dinosaurs ever discovered—and, back in those early days of paleontology, its fearsome jaws must have fueled countless Victorian nightmares. 1. Megalosaurus Used to Be Called “Scrotum humanum.” 
Wikimedia Commons The illustration on the left was drawn by an artist/naturalist named Robert Plot in 1676. At the time, scholars hadn’t yet learned … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's just pee [Amusing]
[link] [155 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Stuff you don't want to hear when the phone rings: 1. "This is the IRS." 2. "This is your husband's girlfriend." 3. "This is the funeral home. Someone just drove off with the hearse carrying your son's body" [Weird
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, after paying a job coach a load of money for his services, pretty much the only advice he gave me was "Send out more résumés." FML [Link]
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