Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Fake food fraud up by 60%. Findings found fish can be fatally faked. Not faux fish though [Sick]
[link] [138 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You make one bionic arm for a one-armed 3 year old and suddenly you're besieged by requests from every one-armed person in the world to make them one, too [Florida]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hey did anybody notice that Chicken Noodle News/The Missing Plane Network/-4,600/whatever they are this week changed their website format? THIS FIXES EVERYTHING [Fail]
[link] [132 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop who (or what) these people are running with [Photoshop]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hiking pro tip: A liter of water and a bag of trail mix is not considered adequate equipment if you are trying to summit 10,000+ feet mountains in Mexico [Dumbass]
[link] [148 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » NYPD Commissioner William Bratton has to send cops a memo reminding them to act like decent human beings at funerals [Obvious]
[link] [257 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New Russian army battle robots move one step closer to deployment, are now being programmed to say "Your move, creep" in Ukrainian [Scary]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman with "invisible disability" abused by "parking lot vigilantes." Anyone remember that issue of Fantastic Four? [Florida]
[link] [381 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You might be a hipster if you only wear tough, durable workman's clothing that you have to compost when you're done using it [Spiffy]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you have waaayy too much time on your hands, you can train a squirrel to compete in the rodent version of the Grand National steeplechase. Fortunately, there are lots of people in the world with too much time on their hands [Amusing]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Seattle is passé, Frisco is old, so the hot new Liberal mecca is … Medellín, Colombia [Unlikely]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Grand Canyon turns into a rare winter wonderland for New Year's Day [Cool]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » JJ_V3N0M says FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A "brave little girl" who survived a deadly plane crash in remote eastern Kentucky on Friday walked away from the wreckage to seek help at a stranger's doorstep [Scary]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Sometimes you have the world's largest Gummy Bear, some liquid nitrogen, and a 12-gauge shotgun all in the same place at the same time, and you're just crazy enough to see what happens when you combine the three" [Cool]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Lenox Hill Hospital in NYC steps up to the plate and pays £130K medical bill of Brit couple stranded in U.S. after baby born prematurely [Followup]
[link] [103 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Today's 'Only In Alaska' headline: "Man accused of drunken driving escapes by snowmachine" [Strange]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not news: Man drives for two hours through Brazil's jungle on his motorcycle. Still not news: With a 12-inch knife. Fark: Stuck in his head [Scary]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wear flip flops in the shower, move away from the guy doing sit-ups who is coughing up a lung, and don't touch your face if you want to avoid getting sick at the gym when you have to be there in 26 minutes [Interesting]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Phone Book Art
Artist Stephen Wischer has found a use for all those Yellow Pages phonebooks that still get delivered to people, even though they've long been rendered pointless on account of the Internet. (The Yellow Pages are still periodically dumped at my front door and go straight from there into the recycling bin.) Wischer has stacked up 3000 of them in a … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rest easy, Oregon's serial hair cutter has finally been clipped [Followup]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man successfully prospects for diamonds. Difficulty: NYC jewelry store [Fail]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police shoot your son who was armed (and swung at them) with a samurai sword? That's a federal lawsuit seeking more than $2 million in damages [Followup]
[link] [303 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's time for a Photoshop tennis match, literally [Photoshop]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » He’s Got Big Plans for the Weekend
Guy: You want me to buy 60 dollars’ worth of butt-paste?4803 Deer Lake Drive
Jacksonville, Florida [Link]
Overheard In The Office » That's What You Said About the Middle Kid in Hanson!
Coworker, on phone, very authoritatively: No! The green m&m is the only woman! Nooooo!Kansas City, MissouriOverheard by: There's a wealth of information in my office [Link]
Overheard In The Office » New York Times Crosswords Are More Opinionated Than Ever Before
Cube dweller: Is Massachusetts the only state in this country that doesn't suck?6th Ave
New York City, New York [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I've Already Got the Khakis, Horn-Rimmed Glasses and Top-Siders
Male supervisor on phone to boss: Okay, I'll do the cash out today, oh and can you bring makeup tomorrow and turn me into an old woman? (pause) Great, thanks!Olypmic Peninsula, WashingtonOverheard by: great scott [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Can't a Man Dream?
Support staff #1, about cute work experience girl: Ohh, if only I were 10 years younger…Support staff #2: She'd be ten.Bournemouth
Dorset, England [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And What Is That Bright Object in the Sky?
Pale girl: Look at these freckles on the back of my hand. Oh, my — what is this dark ring?!Smoker: That’s called a tan.130 East Randolph Street
Chicago, Illinois [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Since Prison, Martha Stewart Has Become Increasingly Volatile
Cube rat: Hell, we were finding underwear on top of the refrigerator for two weeks.400 N 5th Street
Phoenix, ArizonaOverheard by: AndyDan [Link]
Weird Universe » Two Dogs Get Married
This is exactly what conservatives warned us would happen in a godless nation. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Iowa woman faces thirty days in jail after sending a box of cow poop to her neighbors because she was upset they kept complaining about her barking dog [Fail]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » One lucky cat begins his New Year by being reunited with his person – after being missing for over seven years – just in time for a very happy Caturday [Caturday]
[link] [663 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You are breaking the sacred code of pizza delivery drivers if you call police to report underaged drinking at the home of your last stop [Sad]
[link] [144 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Too-Much-Information Technology
Coworker: Thank you for calling ABC Tech Support*. Can I have your name, please? … While we’re waiting for the information to come up in our system, you wouldn’t happen to know how they execute their criminals in China…? I just ask because I heard that they sell the organs of condemned criminals over there.Houston, TexasOverheard by: Glad I wasn’t on … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The low gas prices are great. Unless you live in rural Alaska where the price is locked in based on how much oil cost last summer [Sad]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Longer We Discuss This, the More I Get Paid.
Lawyer to client: I'll have to file a motion to do that.Client: Can't you just call and do that?Lawyer: No, I'll have to file a motion, like on paper.Client: Yeah, can't you just do it by phone?Lima, OhioOverheard by: Holy Shit I went to College for this [Link]
FMyLife » Mixta says FML
Today, my best friend showed me his New Year's Eve photos. Girls everywhere, booze flowing all over the place and all my friends were there. They still haven't realised that they didn't invite me. We've been friends for seven years. FML [Link]
FMyLife » mosaicevolution says FML
Today, after finishing my second glass of wine, I walked out of the bathroom and saw the tag on my hair dryer from last year's rehab visit. FML [Link]
FMyLife » whatajerk says FML
Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Shoplifter report, chief. He got on a bus." "Perfect. Send the helicopter" [Silly]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It took seven days, but a judge decided John Hinckley will not be charged with murdering James Brady [Followup]
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Fark.com RSS » Snowmobilers dig out a moose buried after an avalanche. "That kind of karma is something we don't pass up" [Cool]
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Fark.com RSS » Man threatens to blow up a strip club because the manager had the audacity to try and take away his beer [Florida]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man goes into home to meet a young lady. Comes out an awesome extra for The Walking Dead. With awesome zombie mugshot [Fail]
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Fark.com RSS » Baby born on January 1 won't have too much trouble remembering her birthday. Especially since both her parents share it [Cool]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » bingalingading says FML
Today, my fiancée and I were making plans for our wedding when my soon-to-be mother-in-law chimed in with, "You know, she can still get out of this. I got the dress for her but we can save it for the next guy." I'm not sure if she's joking or not. FML [Link]
FMyLife » cat co-parent says FML
Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough – not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML [Link]
Futility Closet » Chebyshev’s Paradoxical Mechanism
Russian mathematician Pafnuty Chebyshev devised this puzzling mechanisms in 1888. Turning the crank handle once will send the flywheel through two revolutions in the same direction, or four revolutions in the opposite direction. (A better video is here.) “What is so unusual in this mechanism is the ability of the linkages to flip from one configuration to the other,” write … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A huge hole has opened up near the Sun's South pole with winds reaching 500 miles per second. This is not an astronomical fart joke [Interesting]
[link] [128 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Years of painstaking scientific research have finally determined one of the main causes of cancer: Bad luck [Obvious]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Blizzard warning for Hawaii, 120 mph winds, feet-deep snow drifts, dogs and cats, living together [PSA]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Judge orders man not to drink alcohol after he made several 999 calls claiming to be Nicki Minaj, and that a ghost was haunting him [Weird]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 11AM Staff Meeting
Boss: Okay, so, there have been some changes in the past 24 hours. First of all, [Sharon] has left us for another job.
Team: Ding dong the witch is dead, the wicked old witch is dead! 955 Rumble Road
Smarr, Georgia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Nice to See Monocles R' Us Reaching Out to Its Target Audience
Coworker on phone: Hi, how are you? (pause) I'm fine, for an aging gentleman!Manhattan, New York [Link]
Overheard In The Office » But Then I Gave Him the Pink Slip and Felt a Lot Better
Boss, talking about bad ex-employee: Dick was a real pain in the ass. 1900 Avenue of the Stars
Century City, California Overheard by: JuliaTastic [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Though the Russian Judge Only Gave Her a “6”
Woman in bathroom stall to woman in neighboring stall: Yeah, she the one who did my son's circumcision. She did a bang up job.Olathe, Kansas [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Zebra X: Sticking It to the Horse
IT guy: The serial number is T as in ‘Thomas,’ X as in ‘zebra…’Ephrata, WashingtonOverheard by: Lost in Space [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 35 cars caught in New Hampshire pileups. That's, what, half the cars in the state, right? [Scary]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If your special-needs child needs to be with you on a flight, perhaps you shouldn't buy her a ticket in coach while you and your husband sit in first class [Asinine]
[link] [168 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Just When You Were Starting to Miss Frasier…
Coworker #1: You know I had trouble finding a Die Zauberflöte ringtone on my phone.Coworker #2: You know I had the same problem too.Livonia, Michigan [Link]
FMyLife » I'll Make You FartCum says FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML [Link]
FMyLife » tokinallday says FML
Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …Bobby Proposed!
Secretary on phone: I guess I don't need a tapeworm after all.Minneapolis, Minnesota [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What's worse than being accused of a drunk driving and causing a fatal car accident? This mugshot [Scary]
[link] [123 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for driving drunk. On the 210 Freeway. In a golf cart [Amusing]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » That Certainly Gives You More Career Choices
30-something coworker to staff member’s nephew: So, you can get weapons… Can you also cast spells and do magic?Nephew, playing a medieval computer game: Yeah. That’s called ‘Religion.’ Some people get really into religion, but I don’t. I just like killing stuff.University of Sydney office
Sydney
AustraliaOverheard by: Wil Dog [Link]
Fark.com RSS » News: Cyber-terrorists affiliated with ISIS seize control of a website. Not news: as a result anyone in Britain's West Country had a slightly harder time looking up the timetables for the buses that run there [Fail]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this flaming inferno [Photoshop]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Artist who made little houses for ants because he thought they needed a place to live moves on to miniature sculptures inside needle eyes [Cool]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » … From My Mom
30-ish guy shouting from desk: What’s a MILF? [Everyone laughs.] No, really — what is a MILF? I just got an e-mail about it! Virginia [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Guy Trashes 'Spiritual' Girlfriend's Car After Granny Dildo Sex Prophecy." This is exactly why we have a Florida tag, folks [Florida]
[link] [88 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » US training of Afghan Army improves as the Afghans are now also capable of wiping out wedding parties [Stupid]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Double D*ck Dude writes tell-all memoir of what it's like to live with penis penis [Strange]
[link] [101 comments] [Link]
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