Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Refugees upset to be dropped off in rural Sweden armed with Allen wrenches, and told to "Build your own city" [Dumbass]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In a reflection of just how bad the job market is right now, or how many masochists there are in the world, a wanted ad posted by a UK firm for a human paintball tester has drawn more than 10,000 applicants [Followup]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Texan has Alaskan sized anger over stolen Rhode Island sized home [Amusing]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rule 1: When committing armed robbery, don't take a taxi [Dumbass]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man unhappy with weak fireworks decides to make his own, promptly blows off his hand [Florida]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 21 Things You Might Not Have Known About 'The Office'
In 2005, a group of Americans were tasked with adapting beloved British series The Office. They rose to the high expectations and managed to create a successful comedy that ran for nine seasons. Here are 21 things you might not have known about the show. 1. B.J. Novak was the first person cast. The show’s producer, Greg Daniels, was inspired … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Obama to ban exports of Katy Perry CDs to North Korea [Followup]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Korea uses disabled or homeless people as slaves to harvest sea salt. No, the other Korea [Sick]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hell hath no fury like a husband scorned after a small penis joke from his wife [Scary]
[link] [102 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » And now, here's the first Fark Weird News Quiz of 2015. Just as difficult as the ones from 2014, but shinier [Survey]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Good news if you own property in Portland. The previous "cumbersome" tree code has been replaced by a "streamlined" 100-page version. You now need a permit to plant, trim, cut down, and probably pick an apple from a tree [Asinine]
[link] [86 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Former Blackwater CEO is embroiled in an epic lawsuit–not over the murder of Iraq civilians by his contractors, or terrorizing residents of New Orleans after Katrina, but with a guy developing comic books to revive the Blackwater "brand" [St
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bring-your-son-to-crime-spree day ends with a roadside shootout in West Virginia, two bodies in the back of a pickup, and a mugshot that resembles Wil Wheaton in anaphylactic shock [Scary]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man calls the police and asks them to supervise a spanking of his daughters. "Watching a parent discipline their child is something that's done only when a deputy has no other calls to handle" [Florida]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Most metal detector users are happy to find a few coins, quarters and dimes if they're lucky. This guy found over 5000 coins dating from the 10th century in a lead bucket [Interesting]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 19-year-old woman wakes up during brain surgery and chats with doctors about her cats [Strange]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When you're moving out of a rental house and the "cleaning lady" stops by, please contact the landlord before you let her in [PSA]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this lamp starer [Photoshop]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman tried to crawl under moving train … because it was moving too slow. You can imagine this didn't end well [Asinine]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Today's FARK-Ready headline: "Man faces assault charges in Ho Hum Motel incident." Subby always stays at the Meh-Hotel, where they always leave the ice machine unlocked [Dumbass]
[link] [9 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's your standard slacker career path: knock around a bit, end up as a surfing instructor in Costa Rica, hear "god's call" to go to Iraq to join the Peshmerga and fight ISIS in Syria, you know, the usual [Strange]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you feel the need to get drunk and crash into something, make sure it's not a police station [Dumbass]
[link] [10 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The bulletproof hats are discreet, with no real difference between them and the look of a fitted baseball cap…except for that big ass bulletproof logo on the side [Cool]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Untold millions of Americans could be getting a not-so-nice Obamacare surprise in their taxes this year [Scary]
[link] [167 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Welcome to Burger King. May I take your order? Yes, I need 4,500 Whoppers and a small Diet Coke please [Amusing]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Durham, NC Bakery owner Bob Grasso arrested for selling namesake brownies [Obvious]
[link] [9 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Plated Facts About Kentrosaurus
Perhaps the least-cuddly dinosaur of all time, Kentrosaurus boasted some horrific weaponry—and a rather perplexing sex life. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Showing they have at least a passing familiarity with the concept of "journalistic integrity," Baltimore Fox News affiliate fires the reporter and cameraman who edited video of a rally to falsely claim the demonstrators were chanting "kil
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If your IV hydration drip to "cure" your hangover costs $130 it might just be cheaper not to drink [Asinine]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In Scandalous Controversy, Prince denies underage sex allegations. It may be A Sign O' The Times, but it's scarcely N.E.W.S [Obvious]
[link] [10 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Air Asia bodies found still buckled in their seats, which means they knew they were going to crash and died before they could unbuckle [Followup]
[link] [96 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Funeral held in Paris for co-founder of the nudist movement. Dinner to be held following the service, attire optional [Sad]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Those juice "detoxes" and body cleanses are about as real as your gluten intolerance [Dumbass]
[link] [257 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » In a Word
paralian
n. one who lives near the sea ultramontane
adj. one who lives beyond mountains pedionomite
n. an inhabitant of a plain, a dweller in a plain interamnian
adj. lying between rivers [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Naked man running on interstate in 38 degree weather stated he wanted to go to heaven. Showing unusual restraint, California police did not grant his wish [Strange]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 16 California fire fighters accused of shooting a sex tape on a fire engine. Pizza deliverers and pool boys: "Been there. Done that" [Stupid]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Adorable Hummingbirds Stab Each Other With Their Tiny Beaks
Weighing in at just 0.2 ounces, the Long-billed Hermit doesn’t seem like it would pose much of a threat to anything. But hummingbirds have what biologist Alejandro Rico-Guevara calls an “extremely pugnacious nature.” The cute little birds are feisty fighters, and when the normally solitary males come together to attract females with their singing and then compete for a chance … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Good news: The number of celebratory gunshots to ring in the New Year reported to Phoenix police was down by 22 percent compared to last year. Bad news: Only 206 people reported gun shots this year [Sad]
[link] [70 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Go home pub. You're drunk [Weird]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Sisterly Love says FML
Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML [Link]
FMyLife » jitterbug says FML
Today, when my roommate asked me what was wrong, I told him that something I ate was making me feel sick. He works 10+ hours a day, and I didn't have the heart to tell him that the putrid smell of his feet was making me nauseous. FML [Link]
The Onion » Fox Introduces New Line Of Scrimmage Reporter For NFL Playoffs
LOS ANGELES—Claiming that the new addition to their broadcast will bring fans closer to the game than ever before, officials from Fox Sports confirmed Friday that the network is debuting line of scrimmage reporters for all of its NFL playoff games. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cops bust into extended stay hotel room to stop knife-wielding shirtless man strangling girlfriend. Come for the "Told You I Was Hardcore" mugshot, stay for comments from probable relatives below [Strange]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …Hello?…Hello?? Aw, Crap.
Adjuster to claimant driver, attempting to take a recorded statement: Well, I hope you're not going to die anytime soon because I have a lot of important questions I need to ask you.Brentwood, TennesseeOverheard by: Missing that page in my training manual [Link]
Overheard In The Office » After Successfully Outlawing Science, Kansas Gets Right to Work on Math
Topeka City Council Member: I thought we just voted that down unanimously, with the exception of one or two votes.Capitol grounds
Topeka, KansasOverheard by: wscnsngl [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Must Be the Family Jewels
Overexcited colleague, passing gift to departing coworker: With this necklace, I thee impregnate!Melbourne
AustraliaOverheard by: confusedbutamused [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Blue…No, Red. Red!!
Employer: If I were to ask you for one thing you are not good at, what would it be?
Interviewee: Uh…answering questions like this one? Insurance HR office
Toronto, Canadia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The American Dream.
Female customer to male clerk wearing “Smith College” shirt: Did you go to Smith College?Male clerk, in completely deadpan tone: Yes, I've got a vagina and I went to Smith College.Fairfield, ConnecticutOverheard by: Fred [Link]
Fark.com RSS » OpSec rules: DON'T reveal deployment details. DON'T reveal troop details. DO turn off geo-tagging for Twitter [Asinine]
[link] [97 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this handyfish [Photoshop]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Smoking is being harder to do," but being easier than English [Fail]
[link] [185 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » 30000 says FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Wisconsin Has Two Married IT Guys?
IT guy #1, checking on slow response time: You getting any? [time]IT guy #2: Nope, I'm married too.Brookfield, Wisconsin [Link]
FMyLife » mrwilly says FML
Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML [Link]
FMyLife » TaddM21 says FML
Today, I dragged my grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak for New Year's day. I left my spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrapped steak on the grill. I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough for my cat to open the wrapper and run off with my steak in his … [Link]
Weird Universe » Locked in a closet
Earlier this week, John Arwood and Amber Campbell phoned police to report they were trapped in a closet at Daytona State College's Marine and Environmental Science Center. They had been there for 2 days and needed to get out. When the police arrived, the scene they found wasn't pretty. Piles of feces in the closet and drug paraphenalia. They also found … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If these reports are true, Iraq is about to be an even bloodier mess than before [Unlikely]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hitchhiker arraigned for executing couple who gave him a lift on Christmas Eve reveals giant balls at arraignment: "I would like to have a different ending to this other than my death, because I don't like this situation" [Asinine]
[link] [154 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » "Res"olutions
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » There are a handful of things you should be doing to improve your bond with your dog, no peanut butter required [Interesting]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Tom Edison Jr.‘s Electric Mule
This cover could hardly be improved upon for macabre glee and impartial offensiveness.
Read the story here. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Mr. Scrooge Was Far Worse Than Dickens Portrayed Him
Boss to junior staffer: Don't go take a poop and take forever!Manhattan, New YorkOverheard by: Jeff [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You might be a redneck if your pregnant wife goes into labor, and instead of going to the hospital you go to Bass Pro Shop [Stupid]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » It’s an Old Alaskan Prostitute Adage
Coworker #1: Man, it’s cold in this room.Coworker #2, pointing to thermostat: If you’re cold, blow on that.Coworker #1: What’s that going to do for me? [Pause.] If it will make me warm, I’ll blow anything.Broad Street
Columbus, OhioOverheard by: Coworker #3 [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And If You Put Your Tongue in my Mouth, Does That Cure Cancer or Something?
Experienced woman: So, Chuck* came over last night and made me sit on his face.
Inexperienced woman: Why? Does that, like, help breathing or something? 21 Oak Street
Hartford, Connecticut [Link]
FMyLife » outofajob says FML
Today, I gave feedback on how the store is run at the owners' request, because they don't understand why everyone keeps quitting. I guess they took it personally, because they asked me not to come back. FML [Link]
FMyLife » CK95 says FML
Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're transporting salmon by truck, always make sure the lox are secure [Fail]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Remember that heartwarming story about that panhandler who was given $100 and then used it to buy food for his fellow homeless? Yeah, about that [Followup]
[link] [147 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Note to prosecutors: If you quote "Dixie" in your closing arguments for a case against a black man, the judge may throw out the conviction [Followup]
[link] [93 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Good news, Chicagoans: the murder rate is down. The bad news: it's because your aim is terrible [Sad]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to 2015. We must now consider the entrants to the Eurovision of trees. Without the crappy music, thankfully [Sappy]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police officer's baby born at the time of his badge number [Cool]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's like a thousand spoons when all you need is some rain [Ironic]
[link] [9 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man strips naked and tries out a few dog beds at a CVS. No steak for you, dude [Florida]
[link] [11 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Earlier, the monitoring was done only about the construction of toilets, but now the actual use of toilets will be ascertained on a sustained basis" [Interesting]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ladies and gentlemen, if you look out the windows of the aircraft you'll see Salt Lake City. And if you look in seat 2 A you might just see babby coming out [Spiffy]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Airport '77 [Followup]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Good luck with that, Jonathan [Unlikely]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Progress
The Martian parliament consists of a single house. Every member has three enemies at most among the other members. Show that it’s possible to divide the parliament into two houses so that every member has one enemy at most in his house. Click for solution … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Third rock from the thumb [PSA]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » ButtWorthSingingBout says FML
Today, my boyfriend finally played the new guitar I bought to replace the one he broke. He used a $1000 guitar to play me a moving song about my butt. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A picture is supposed to be worth a thousand words. Some of these will leave you speechless [Amusing]
[link] [108 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » It's What All the Olympic Athletes Are Doing These Days
Male employee #1, at lunch, peeling a banana: So, I'm doing a detox diet, where I eat only fruit for two weeks, and a bit of meat is introduced during the third. It's rough, but I'm actually starting to feel more sprightly.Male employee #2: I say…it really works? I should try it. I'm knackered, and I'm getting a paunch. I'd like … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …to the Tune Of “Hot Stuff”
Boss, sending young workers to interior house painting location: Send the guys to the house. And they need to bring rubber gloves, cause they will be stripping.Jeanerette, Louisiana [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Some of That Is Just Normal Post-Culinary Sadness
Engineer #1: Drew*, you’re having corned beef again?Team leader: Yeah, I got a big piece of it and cooked it all at once.Engineer #2: Did you get it at Costco? It’s real cheap there.Team leader: Yeah, but the thing that sucks is it shrinks when you put it in the oven. You’re thinking you have a big piece of meat, … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » First Shellfish, and Now This.
Large lady: What's for lunch today?Regular lady: Mushroom risotto.Large lady: Oh, I can't have mushrooms–they make me horny and I ain't got no one to be horny with no more.Houston, TexasOverheard by: Aghast [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 9AM Back to Work
President: This is our IT department. Those people write new programs all day long.
Customer: Oh, so this is the Nerd Center! 1047 17th Avenue
Santa Cruz, California [Link]
FMyLife » sandwhiched says FML
Today, I went on a road trip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » He brings a gun, you use your knife. THAT'S the Sushi Chef way [Dumbass]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Freud Was As Annoying a Co-worker As You'd Expect
AP clerk: It's a fetish. Do you know what they are?Manhattan, New York [Link]
Mental Floss » Why We See Faces in the Clouds
Denis Farmer was filming storm clouds as they churned over his New Brunswick, Canada, home when, suddenly, the profile of a man appeared to emerge from the vapor. He recorded the event and, more than 3.5 million YouTube hits later, people are still debating whether the looming figure was a divine presence or just an illusion. Science’s take? A psychological … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Good news, France: This New Years' Eve, you only set 940 cars on fire….12 per cent less than the 1,067 set aflame last year [Misc]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Former Governor of New York Mario Cuomo dead at age 82 [NewsFlash]
[link] [211 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photographer's behind-the-scenes pics of marching bands reminds me of this one time… at band camp [Misc]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this perched kitty [Photoshop]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 5PM That’s a Wrap
Coworker #1, whispering: They’re firing Lily* on Friday!
Lily, standing behind coworker #1: Why!! What did I do! 8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Apparently thinking it's still the 1950s, the hosts of Fox & Friends started the New Year by telling women that they should "cater" to their man by stroking his ego, cooking him meals, and massaging his feet [Asinine]
[link] [308 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Tips on what to do with your leftover champagne. Dude, leftover champagne? What the hell's that? [Unlikely]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mom loses her head after telling her son to do his chores [Florida]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
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