Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Woman fatally shot by two-year-old purse snatcher [Sad]
[link] [333 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And the Only Thing That Helps Is Talking About It to People I Know Will Understand
Middle aged woman: Ever since I hit 50, the hot flashes have been hitting me like mad.Teenage clerk: Ummm…yes.St. Louis, MissouriOverheard by: Anni [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, our band had a road trip. Two people chose to stack themselves on top of each other to share a seat rather than sit in the last seat next to me. FML [Link]
FMyLife » woofwoof says FML
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Argentinian authorities warn of a werewolf on the loose, ask residents to use the lox on their doors [Amusing]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wear a skirt on the DC Metro's silver line recently? Might wanna check out xhamster [Sick]
[link] [221 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this ship sailing away [Photoshop]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Smokers trying to quit will receive $80 in gift cards which will come in handy to pay off the hospital bills from all the Chantix-induced suicide attempts [Interesting]
[link] [152 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sure first invade Mars with lettuce, next thing you know we'll be squirting them with Thousand Islands dressing [Interesting]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » City orders church to shut down glee camp over zoning violations, rampant slushie attacks [Interesting]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 'The next time you let your dog poop on our lawn and don't pick it up, I will follow you back to your home, wait until you get inside, take a huge dump on your door step and on the windshield of your car. Love, Annie.' [Strange]
[link] [107 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » He was Hitler's favorite commando. He rescued Mussolini from a mountain fortress and farked Eva Peron. He was, "the most dangerous man in Europe"-until he became a quiet Irish farmer [Strange]
[link] [98 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark's 2014 Headline of the Year contest: Context headlines [HOTY]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark's 2014 Headline of the Year contest: Puns and Wordplay headlines [HOTY]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This just in: Ebola crisis started by Bat Boy [Scary]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I got a call from my roommate's mother, asking me to hide her flip flops so she couldn't wear them out in sub-zero temperatures. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man on an 80 mile snowmobile ride to Christmas dinner falls through the ice and then gets stalked by a wolverine during his 30 mile walk in frozen clothes and sub-zero temperatures. So, how was your holiday traffic this year? [Scary]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The 5 reasons you're poor [Obvious]
[link] [320 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Lightning strike kills four Brazilian people [Scary]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter: It's New Year's Eve, not New Year's Steve [FarkBlog]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Remember how after Sony was hacked the FBI came out and blamed it all on North Korea? Yeah, about that [Followup]
[link] [158 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Nicomachus’ Theorem
Image: Wikimedia Commons In 100 C.E., Nicomachus of Gerasa observed that 13 + 23 + 33 + … + n3 = (1 + 2 + 3 + … + n)2 Or “the sum of the cubes of 1 to n is the same as the square of their sum.” The diagram above demonstrates this neatly: Counting the individual squares shows that … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The top ten biggest civil rights violations of 2014. BONUS: NOT A SLIDESHOW. So there's one civil right left intact [PSA]
[link] [135 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rare forest of coral discovered off the coast of Miami-Dade county. A FOREST, CORAL [Florida]
[link] [95 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » No matter what you've heard, the State Police are not your personal ride service to the convenience store [Dumbass]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Adult. Breastfeeding. Prostitution ring. That is all [Sick]
[link] [112 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Dear Prudence: Can we have a best-of column to celebrate the end of the year? It would be nice to look back on some of the best fake letters and real advice you've received this year" [Followup]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Apparently letting your child eat an artery-clogging, calorie-packed, lard-drenched, nutrient void meal from a fast food restaurant right before a test is a bad idea [Obvious]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Middle Eastern religious radicals cause problems onboard airplane in NYC. Again [Stupid]
[link] [139 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Jockey breaks into a woman's apartment, masturbates, breaks into a another apartment, gets shot, and police still have a hard time subduing him. "I would have bet you 100 to 10 that the kid never smoked a joint" [Dumbass]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hey everybody, million-dollar mansions in the Phoenix-area are selling at twice the pace of a year ago, so I guess it means the Great Recession is officially over [Spiffy]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Just in time for Ebola panic to die down, Hong Kong confirms first case of bird flu this season [Interesting]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man found dead in luxury spa hot tub. Police suspect foul play after finding carrots and celery in the hot tub with him [Sad]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » “Cuckoo” Butterflies Get Ants to Raise their Kids
There aren’t many things more beautiful than a butterfly—or many things creepier than parasites. It’s hard to think that you’d ever find one of the former that’s also one of the latter, but nature is full of surprises. [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: My Name's a Food!
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Well looks like we can't see a live possum drop for New Year's now [Interesting]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you were under the impression that there is only one way to pronounce "Adidas," go find someone who can help you pick your jaw up off the ground because you are in for a big surprise [Strange]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Doctor to patient: Hope you didn't mind, but we celebrated my birthday with a cake during your surgery [Dumbass]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » BlondePsycho says FML
Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CIA: Remember those UFO sightings in the '50s and '60s? We confess. It was us [Followup]
[link] [90 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Elbow Room bar turns into Fist, Feet, Knees and Elbows room after man picks a fight with everyone inside [Dumbass]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Yes, I Was Hoping You Might Be Able to Give Me Some AIDS
Associate: Thank you for calling the Houston gonorrhea. Can I help you?Houston, Texas [Link]
Overheard In The Office » To Get Them Into Good Habits?
Student teacher #1: I have to write a unit on the book My Side of the Mountain.Student teacher #2: What? Why are you teaching something called “mindset of a nun” to your kids?Ford City, PennsylvaniaOverheard by: Lyndsay [Link]
Overheard In The Office » In Other Words, the Classic Bermuda Shorts
Female peon: Do I like the long and skinny ones or the short and fat ones?Male peon: You like the short and fat ones.Female peon: I thought I liked the long and skinny ones also…Male peon: No, I like the long and skinny ones.Hamilton
Bermuda [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 11AM Client Meeting (Off-site)
Developer: So we need to get those trees down before the rafters come back.
Underling: “Rafters”?
Developer: R-a-f-t-e-r-s. You know, like a hawk? They’re gonna nest in the trees if we don’t cut ‘em down first.
Underling: Right. Raptors. 855 Capitolio Way
San Luis Obispo, California [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Look Who’s Talking, Dr. Vajayjay
Male nurse #1: I just thought of something. Wouldn’t it be so embarassing being a gynecologist? What’s your motivation? Man, that would just be so embarrassing.Male nurse #2: Yeah, especially with your name, Dr. Beaver.Geisinger Medical Center
Danville, Pennsylvania [Link]
Mental Floss » My Name's a Food!
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » You know how you've always been told there are 50 different words for snow in the Eskimo language? It's all a lie. There isn't even a single language known as 'Eskimo.' [Interesting]
[link] [124 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Neatly Slumped Over My Desk, the Way Headquarters Likes It
Middle manager: I'm not going to eat until all of these problems are solved.Office temp: Wow, you're gonna die.King of Prussia, Pennsylvania [Link]
FMyLife » happytuckerhappy says FML
Today, I set up a profile on a dating app, stating that I'm awkward amongst other things. Within minutes, a guy messaged me. I was thrilled, until he started threatening me because he has Aspergers, and according to him, only they are "allowed" to be awkward. I had to delete my profile. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Theme: How Santa spends New Year's Eve [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You know you haven't really applied yourself in life when cops bust you after positively identifying a roll of toilet paper [Dumbass]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Chipotle apologizes after worker greets NYPD with "hands up, don't shoot" gesture, hopes that the NYPD won't choke any of their employees to death [Interesting]
[link] [428 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Three Daily Mail writers test world's first "contouring" make-up, in an attempt to look like Kim Kardashian and OMG IT TOTALLY WORKS (w/pics) [Spiffy]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » After Our Little “Board Meeting”
Male employee, on his way out of meeting: And, by the way, I just want everyone to know that my jaw is still sore from yesterday.Employee's boss, explaining to silent coworkers: He should probably add that he went to the dentist yesterday.Denver, Colorado [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It turns out the President of Argentina didn't really adopt a boy to break a werewolf's curse. Even though she kind of did [Followup]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #238
A pelican garbed in Colonial clothes with lettering on its pouch is not the intuitive choice for a booze mascot.
Original ad here. [Link]
Weird Universe » The Well-Balanced Beer
Headline writers had a lot of fun with this story. Ruth Shepler was an Iowa barmaid who had a signature bar trick which involved pouring a bottle of beer into a glass while the glass was balanced on her ample "frontage." She could reportedly balance up to four glasses simultaneously.
But when the IRS heard about this, they decided that … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Greek patience with austerity wearing thin; they say it hasn't helped a single Grecian earn [Obvious]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Do You Solemnly Swear to Tell the Hose Truth and Nothing but the Truth?
Office chick on phone: I know! He was all, ‘I really like your hoses…’ I did — I told him I liked his hoses as well — I’m not rude.Itasca, IllinoisOverheard by: Terry [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 9AM Back to Work
Soldiers are doing push-ups on frost-covered grass. Soldier #1: Man, it’s cold! I can’t feel my hands! Soldier #2: I can’t feel my testicles. Soldier #3: My testicles are all crawled up inside my body…so snug…and so warm… Soldier #4: I wish I was a testicle. Soccer field #3
Fort Eustis, Virginia [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, on my first ski run down a mountain, I dislocated my patella. Now I get to watch out of the window as my family builds a snowman and names it after me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » AirAsia takes commanding lead in International Missing Plane Seekers Cup of 2014 [News]
[link] [128 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Nobody Home
For more than 500 million years something has been making hexagonal burrows on the floor of the deep sea. Each network of tiny holes leads to a system of tunnels under the surface. The creature that makes them, known as Paleodictyon nodosum, has never been discovered. It might be a worm or perhaps a protist; the structure might be its … [Link]
FMyLife » Nolimit2217 says FML
Today, my wife started a 24 hour urine collection as directed by the doctor for her pregnancy. She has to collect the urine in a gallon jug, and refrigerate it. At lunch time, I went to go get the rest of my sandwich but was unable to find it, until she suggested I "look under the piss jug." FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The most unpopular company in America is…not Comcast? [Interesting]
[link] [124 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sh*tter's full [Sick]
[link] [88 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Why “Where's the Stapler?” Can Be a Dangerous Question
Female professional: If you push hard enough, you can get me to eat just about anything.Marlborough, Massachusetts [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Ever Been Hit by a Ten-Pound Bag Of Oranges?
Peon, during office Easter egg hunt: Kim* was running down the hallway, wearing a non-supportive bra. Now I don't want to hunt for Easter eggs anymore, I just want to die…Mississauga
CanadiaOverheard by: Wearing supportive undergarments [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Minneapolis' Dedicated German-American Sex Workers
Office gal #1: Yeah, cause we usually have them all laid out: who we're gonna do, and when.Office gal #2: We usually do them Tuesdays and Wednesdays, right Anne?Office gal #1: Yeah, we do it Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.Office gal #2: How many are there to do?Office gal #1: Eight.Office gal #2: So that's two each to do. Do we know who's … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark's 2014 Headline of the Year contest: Business headlines [HOTY]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark's 2014 Headline of the Year contest: Politics headlines [HOTY]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Ad: My Cologne? Ice Pick!
Male office worker: Come on! Smell my neck, my cologne is amazing!
Female office worker: I can't. My nose is stuffed and I can't smell anything.
Male office worker: That's no problem. I'll still be able to penetrate! Topeka, Kansas [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The biggest villain of 2014 was Bill Maher [Obvious]
[link] [241 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for domestic assault after choking his wife with a roll of wrapping paper on Christmas. You never have these sorts of problems on Festivus [Dumbass]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » danielzcwu says FML
Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Didn't You See the Sudoku I Put on the Stall Wall for You?
Woman #1: I've been drinking tons of water.Woman #2: Oh, yeah?Woman #1: Yeah, I've been peeing like crazy.Woman #2: Oh, yeah?Woman #1: Yeah, like every five minutes. I hate peeing. It is so boring.New York City, New York [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark's 2014 Headline of the Year contest: Entertainment headlines [HOTY]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About 'Portlandia'
Fully immerse yourself in the strange and wonderful world of Portlandia, Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein’s sketch comedy show, with these 15 little-known facts. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Like, Is It a Chink in the Armor Of Progress?
Coworker: Bright yellow tights? That's an… interesting look.Asian coworker: I wanted something that matches my skin tone. (to friend) Does that still count as racist if I say it?Melbourne
Australia [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hi, I'd like to order a large cheese pizza… hold the machete [Scary]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » She’s Seen One Too Many Star Trek Episodes
Blonde #1: So, can you email me the paper sample when you receive it?Blonde #2: Ahhh… no.Wili Pa Loop
Wailuku, Hawaii [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ebola confirmed in Glasgow; London said to be rethinking that Scottish independence thing [Scary]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these intrepid travelers [Photoshop]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Kale and Brussels Sprouts had a baby together, and it's coming for you [Scary]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 12PM Get That Outlet Fixed
Tech: Is it working?
Co-worker #1: No, I’m only partially lit.
Co-worker #2: How many people does it take to get you fully lit?
Co-worker #3: 4. 2 to watch and 2 to do the lighting. 600 Peachtree Street NE
Atlanta, Georgia Overheard by: new jersey boy [Link]
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