Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Daughter shocked, SHOCKED over dismal Christmas "meal" of a piece of bologna, a piece of salami, a bun and some "watery macaroni salad" that was served at father's nursing home, but it still looks better than what subby had (w/pic
[link] [228 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man arrested after going into auto body shop lot and locking unlocked cars [Strange]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » thanks a lot mom says FML
Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML [Link]
FMyLife » HALIFAAA says FML
Today, my boss sent me a Word document that he wanted me to make into a PowerPoint presentation for him. It was a set of proposals for the board of directors about cost-saving options. The third option was to eliminate my position in the company. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Theme: Aliens in history [Photoshop]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What kind of people have 70,000 lights for Christmas decorations? This kind [Misc]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sandy insurance dispute surges ahead. Apparently insurers screwed customers out of habit, forgetting that FEMA was paying the bills this time [Followup]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The metric system is the world's greatest killer. According to Fox News [Asinine]
[link] [243 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Our long, international nightmare is over: the Playstation network is back online after being taken down by…who the hell knows; let's just blame elves [Followup]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Japanese zoo taking overweight penguins on forced marches to walk off their extra pounds. Animals rights activists may have a problem with it, but it's not a black-and-white issue. Unlike the penguins in the photos, which are. And awesome [Cool]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Drunks who clog up emergency rooms should be arrested as part of a "zero tolerance" approach to binge drinking, according to doctors [Interesting]
[link] [118 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Begun, the shopping mall wars have [Asinine]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In Pennsylvania, dying after a truck hits your house and drives through your bedroom is considered "natural causes" [Weird]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ice cream seller who used money and booze to persuade teens to attack his competitor now faces a very rocky road [Followup]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Some high-end restaurants are paying their employees a livable wage and implementing a "no-tip" policy because most people tip because they "have to" and not because of the service they get. Mr. Pink approves [Interesting]
[link] [230 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Social media users may suffer from paranoia and shame when people find out they lied about hanging out in Southern California with Screech and his entourage, and yes, he had an entourage [Obvious]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » School bans "I Can't Breathe" t-shirts, even if they are worn by opposing teams at a basketball tournament, as one high school learned after being banned from the building. "Anarchy is not welcome in public schools" [Interesting]
[link] [126 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Because people farking love honey [Obvious]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » NY's finest back the mayor in his latest statement [Sad]
[link] [203 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » angryman says FML
Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pope Francis to issue edict stating that climate change is no bull. This should settle the debate once and for all, right? Right? [Interesting]
[link] [103 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A peek inside the lives of Bureau 121, North Korea's top cyber warriors. Sadly, no word on their Internet Tough Guy Magazine subscription status [Interesting]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 2PM Fax Offer Letter
Co-worker: I just walked past the copy and fax machine area, and all the hair on my arms stood straight up like a science fiction movie! 640 5th Avenue
New York, NY [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And Drunk
Coworker: The last time I slept that well at my desk I was two months pregnant. Durham, North Carolina Overheard by: BWC [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Feel Better Now?
Lady worker answering phone: Hi Alex*! … I knew it was you because this is a 321* area code, and you work in Boston and it wasn’t your home number… And if it wasn’t you, then I was prepared for your boss to be calling me telling me you fell off a stool, hit your head, and wound up dead on … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Italian ferry with hundreds of passengers catches fire in the Adriatic Sea and CNN still has one wish left [News]
[link] [83 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » News of the Weird, December 28, 2014
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M403, December 28, 2014
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
Cliche Come to Life: For her Advanced Placement World History class at Magnolia (Tex.) West High School in December, Reagan Hardin constructed an elaborate diorama of a Middle Ages farm–which her dog ate on the night before it was due. Veterinarian Carl … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It is next to impossible to actually find a jury of one's peers. Could you imagine a jury made up entirely of Farkers? [Scary]
[link] [148 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If there's one thing that unites true Alaskans, it's that they all worry about ocean acidification yet at the same time they all have no idea what ocean acidification actually means [Obvious]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you must smoke crack, there's a time and a place. Being hooked up to oxygen in an ICU is not one of them [Florida]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Good: Friend that you haven't seen since basic training during the Vietnam War turns out to be your neighbor of 18 years. Ehh: You find out when your wife and the guy started trading emails about birds [Cool]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » VP Joe Biden's heartfelt eulogy at slain NYC policeman Rafael Ramos' funeral. Nothing more [Sad]
[link] [113 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these five senses [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Heroes age too [Cool]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » No– Not Mr. Teeny!
Senior consultant to underling: I swear to god, if you don't change your answer I'm kidnapping your monkey!Austin, Texas [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Remember the ex-pastor that pledged to be an atheist for a year? Looks like he might be an atheist for a bit longer than he planned [Followup]
[link] [130 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dec 26, 1776, his Lordship Lieutenant General Charles Cornwallis visits Trenton, New Jersey and gets his butt kicked. Trenton, New Jersey still very much the same today [Interesting]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Charlie Chan Condom and Tampon Case
Just the thing to prevent number one son.
[Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Question I Was Born to Answer
Coworker, surfing the net: What the crap? Is every Preston* in the world naked in their profile?West Lafayette, Indiana [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Drug snitch rats out police handlers, himself when his false info lead to SWAT raid where innocent man got shot dead in own bedroom. Snitch got to keep his $395 fee though [Florida]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » idkgiraffes says FML
Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A Ho, hippo / it's not a dinosaur / jumps off a truck and then gets stuck / A Ho, hippo [Strange]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Got Mice?
The Denison Pequotsepos Nature Center in Mystic, Connecticut will happily accept financial donations. But they've recently begun soliciting the public for donations of a more unusual kind: mice. They need them to feed their birds and snakes.
The criteria for us to accept mice from the public is easy: the mice must be dead, chemical- and poison-free, and frozen. We recommend … [Link]
FMyLife » Twysted91 says FML
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 2PM Disciplinary Action
HR person: My kids in my home are never too old to be spanked. My daughter’s fourteen, and I’ll beat her ass. Then I’ll tell her, ‘It’s not over. Wait ’til I call your father and he beats your ass.’ 1190 North Del Rio Place
Ontario, California [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you absolutely must try and rob the sports bar you are drinking at you might want to find a better weapon than a broom handle [Fail]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I’ll Shave This Beard, Put on a Nice Dress and Get on the Bus
Coworker to self: I can’t perpetuate this freak show.West Superior Street
Chicago, Illinois [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Innovative Ways to Stick to Your New Year's Resolutions
If you want to make 2015 the year your resolutions finally stick, you won’t have to tackle them on your own. Whatever you’re trying to make happen in the New Year, you can get a leg up with some help from technology. 1. Stop Smoking for Good 
Quitting smoking is one of the best resolutions anyone can make, but it’s … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 11AM Reboot Registers
Chief of Plant Operations: We need to disconnect and then reconnect the cash registers from the parking booths. This is high priority.
IT: Huh? Why not just leave it connected? 700 State Drive
Los Angeles, California [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Umm, Don't You Pay Me to Think For You?
Coworker: I need to order some more super sticky notes. This is how much they cost. Okay to order?Boss lady: What do we use these for?Coworker: Labeling crates. We need super sticky notes because regular post-its don't stay.Boss lady: How much for regular post-its and tape?Coworker: (silence)Cincinnati, Ohio [Link]
Overheard In The Office » You Know You've Lived in New York for Too Long If This Seems Reasonable to You
CEO: Martina, can you water my plants? I'm wearing Pucci.Manhattan, New York [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Better Known As Rebecca of Baker Street Farm
50-ish coworker: Oh, ‘Shelly’… I thought it said her name was Shirley Temple. You know who Shirley Temple is?20-ish coworker: Wasn’t she the detective who went around solving crimes? No, wait, that’s Sherlock Holmes.31 Chambers Street
New York, New York [Link]
FMyLife » julichlove says FML
Today, I didn't feel like going to work, so I called in sick. Five hours later while out shopping, I got hit by a car at a crosswalk. Now I'm laid-up in the local hospital, really wishing I was with the guys at work. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was waiting in line while a lady paid for her shopping, when her credit card got declined. She started ranting and insulting everyone and kept insisting: "I'm not poor!" By the time the lady had finally stormed off, I had spittle on my face, and the cashier was almost in tears. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Want to build 70-acre amusement park, a 400-room hotel, nearly a half-million sq ft retail development and a 35,000-square-foot theater on environmentally sensitive land? Just get local politicos to declare it a blighted slum [Florida]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Oregonian gets up to speed with one of the original Faces of Meth and, well, yeah [Sad]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're one of the 450 people who took advantage of Orlando International Airport's Quick Parking, the Orlando police department has some bad news for you [Florida]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » James Woods dead at age 44. No word if he was killed while following a trail of candy [Sad]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » He’s Practicing His Lines for His Book Club Discussion
Man in armchair, to no one: You’re always fuckin’ starting with me. Every morning! [Long pause] And then you start in on the gay thing. I’m not talking to you! You started it, and then you tell me to shut up. You shut up! Always, you start it then tell me to shut up. [Long pause] And you try to tell … [Link]
Futility Closet » Snowball Numbers
What’s unusual about the number 313,340,350,000,000,000,499? Its English name, THREE HUNDRED THIRTEEN QUINTILLION THREE HUNDRED FORTY QUADRILLION THREE HUNDRED FIFTY TRILLION FOUR HUNDRED NINETY-NINE, contains these letter counts: 
This makes the name a perfect “snowball,” in the language of wordplay enthusiasts. In exploring this phenomenon for the November 2012 issue of Word Ways, Eric Harshbarger and Mike Keith found hundreds … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » As 2014 comes to a close, relax and enjoy the funniest piece of writing that isn't Fark's Headline Of The Year contest. It's Dave Barry's Year In Review [Spiffy]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 11AM Interior Design
Suit #1: Dude, you should have a sex room in your new place!
Suit #2: I do. It’s my bedroom.
Suit #1: No, I mean one room that is just wall-to-wall matresses and shit. 45 Wall Street
New York, New York Overheard by: Trey Givens [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The McRib is back. Yes, yes, yes, foodies; we know it's nothing more than a sesame seed-encrusted turd straight from the bowels of Lucifer himself. We'll pretend we didn't see you buying a sackful of them [Spiffy]
[link] [100 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was chatting with the girl of my dreams, a real heart-to-heart. Everything was going great, and I asked her if she'd like to get coffee together sometime. She immediately backed away and excused herself, mumbling something about not dating left-handed people. Huh? FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » U.S.: "Nice internet you have there, North Korea. It'd be a shame if something happened to it again" [Followup]
[link] [88 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Normally, it's a pass on a male model who claims to have found the best public restroom in Fark's favorite state, but this guy may be right [Florida]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Attractive 39-year-old former criminal barrister turned diet expert: "It's YOUR fault you're fat. When you buy sweets because you're starving remember this: someone slimmer than you was feeling the same, but THEY ate an apple, then we
[link] [150 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …Who Says I'm Not Management Material?
Cubicle dweller to another: We should have carpooled in together today so that you could drive me home drunk.Dallas, Texas [Link]
Fark.com RSS » AirAsia flight from Indonesia to Singapore requests unusual route and then disappears. Let the conspiracy theories begin [NewsFlash]
[link] [474 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 11AM Confirm Hotel for Conference
CSR: Okay sir, that’s one, six, A as in apple, T as in ticket, nine, four, S as in snow, zero as in orange, thirteen. 1277 Deming Way
Madison, Wisconsin [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Prediction that religions are dying out, mainly because people in rich countries have more entertaining things to do with their time [Interesting]
[link] [203 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Facebook: Sorry for posting the death of your daughter in the Year-in-Review of 2014 [Sad]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Or Salmon Mousse with Cucumber Sauce
Coworker, after boss’s going-away party: I just feel sick… like I’m going to throw up. Maybe I’m allergic to sentiment.11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So what's In-N-Out Burger doing on Glassdoor's 2015 list of 50 Best Places to Work? Double-double animal style for starters [Spiffy]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » How Does That Symbolize Employee Empowerment?
Temp: So the seal was playing a wind instrument? Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Would you minions even know how to unwrap such a posh chocolate? [Silly]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Denver man buys PS4 from Walmart only to find the box is filled with rocks. Don't worry guy, most PS4s were total bricks this week anyway [Sad]
[link] [91 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Unlucky On Christmas
A fire that happened in a shop window over Christmas was caused by sunlight through a snow globe igniting reindeer food and other decorations. Score one for Ebenezer. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man "defied the odds" and survives motorised bar stool crash. What are the odds of surviving a motorised bar stool crash? [Spiffy]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these mysterious musicians [Photoshop]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "So did you get anything at the mall today." "I got a black eye" [Scary]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Wild Wild West is alive in Texas. Motorist sees man beating woman in another car, forces him to pull over then holds him at gunpoint until the police arrive [Spiffy]
[link] [137 comments] [Link]
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