Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Idiot found guilty of being one after calling emergency 999 number to report his friend had been shot in the chest and was dying. His "friend" in this case being a character in the GTA V game he was playing [Dumbass]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 1PM Lunch
Worker #1: This has high-fructose corn syrup.
Worker #2: So you’re drinking colored sugar water.
Worker #1: This doesn’t even contain water.
Worker #2: What’s the first ingredient?
Worker #1: Oh. 1 Liberty Plaza
New York, NY [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was having a quiet wank at home. I guess I wasn't being as quiet as I thought, because my dad knocked at my door and said, "I'm gonna give you some alone time. I'll be back for lunch." and made a load of noise so I knew he was gone for real. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …Killer Queen for a Day
Senior techie: I can?t believe no one else watched the program about the midget last night. Tsk!Techie: Nah, I was busy watching the one about the trannies.Berkshire
England [Link]
Weird Universe » News of the Weird, December 21, 2014
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M402, December 21, 2014
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
People advertising for love interests via online dating sites have apparently become picky about how they describe their sexuality. To the usuals (male, female, gay, heterosexual) have been added recently (as reported by NPR in December after surveying OkCupid.com) “asexual,” “androgynous,” “genderqueer” … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Study: Kids that eat fast food are more stupider than kids who don't [Interesting]
[link] [104 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How to survive if the cable of the elevator you're in snaps, sending the car into free-fall. You don't already have a plan for this? How could you NOT? (video) [Cool]
[link] [129 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Tipping perpetuates racism, classism, and poverty. Unless you tip the standard 25%, of course [Obvious]
[link] [208 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Finally an ethical solution if you want to wear fur coats and wraps: Only make them out of roadkill [Spiffy]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Is your skin tingling? If you are a man, then you are probably talking to a fertile woman [Obvious]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this…um…house? [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Millennials love living in downtown areas of big cities, but they can't find good jobs close to home. Oh, the hipster struggle is real [Ironic]
[link] [109 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Dr. Evil Returns
Last night, Mike Myers made his return to SNL as Dr. Evil to take on—what else?—North Korea and the Sony hack. * A recipe for ancient Egyptian bread, recreated using instructions interpreted from hieroglyphics and tomb paintings, still makes a surprisingly tasty meal today. * Catch up on the many on-screen deaths—some tragic tearjerkers, some frankly well-deserved—of 2014's biggest TV … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not News: Pennsylvania arrests a dangerous dealer and plans on destroying his $160,000 stash. Fark: a man who offered to sell a few bottles of wine from his private expensive collection, without a liquor license in an 8-month sting operation [Asinine
[link] [129 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The winning $1 million recipe in the 47th Pillsbury Bake-Off contains only 4 ingredients [Strange]
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ISIS sets demands for them leaving Mosul. But they are totally not afraid of the Kurdish Peshmerga. They are just doing it to be nice [Followup]
[link] [109 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Don't you hate it when your sister OD's so you rush her to the hospital but you crash and snakes crawl out of your arm and bite you and say you've shot up almost as much as her and shouldn't be driving and then they morph into police
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 'Saturday Night Live' Creates Christmas Version of 'Serial'
This week, Serial—the most downloaded podcast in history—ended its first season. But thanks to this Saturday Night Live digital short, which takes on Santa Claus, we don't have to go into withdrawal just yet. The parody is perfect, from the uncanny impersonations of Sarah Koenig, Adnan, and Cristina Gutierrez to the interview with a witness no one spoke to (in … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Colorado DOT removes wildlife speed enforcement zones because they didn't work. Since when is not working a reason to end a government program? [Interesting]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Americans aren't getting married, and researchers think porn is part of the problem [Misc]
[link] [247 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fire that gutted a town's city hall was "probably arson," what with the fact it destroyed all the city's financial records shortly before a mandatory state audit, claims Iowa's Chief Fire Investigator Ric Romero [Obvious]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Another cop shot and killed. Authorities mum on details [Florida]
[link] [140 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I noticed that even though I got all my Christmas shopping done a month earlier than usual, I forgot to put anything in the mail. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Worst. Storage Wars. Ever [Scary]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » gunnerette says FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This shark fishermen does NOT need a bigger boat, he has done just fine with his record breaking catch [Interesting]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …Get the Webcam!
Female coworker: Somebody's poor vagina. It's gonna collapse on her!Raleigh, North Carolina [Link]
Overheard In The Office » It's the Difference Between Discipline and Mania
Female employee, about boring task: There's a big difference between sucking for 20 minutes and sucking for 8 hours.Tacoma, WashingtonOverheard by: As in a difference per hour? [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Is This English? Discuss.
Cubicle mate on phone: No, I know that, I'm just wondering if it's suitably shithole for a stag do.Dublin
Ireland [Link]
Overheard In The Office » What Are the Odds Of This Conversation?
Temp: “do you realize how poor the odds were for each of us…”Secretary: “to win the lottery?”Temp: “no.”Secretary: “oh. When you said ‘odds’ I thought…”Temp: “odds can apply to more than the lottery.”Secretary: “hm. Well if I were a millionaire, I’d buy a bathtub full of b. C.’s best chronic and – after rolling around in it – smoke it all … [Link]
FMyLife » paparoach says FML
Today, I was at an outdoors Christmas party and I jokingly complained that my son says 'mama' way more than he says 'dada'. One of my students was at the party and watched him for a couple of hours. He taught him to say 'dada' every time he sees a bug. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Droopy poinsettias can be saved. This is not a euphemism [Interesting]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bitcoin pioneer getting two years in prison is a virtual reality [Followup]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Apparently, there were some researchers out there who actually thought cities had installed red light cameras for a purpose other than revenue collection [Fail]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Mightaswelltutordogs says FML
Today, I had to find simple words to explain to the idiot I was tutoring that "1/4" is not of a greater value than "1/3" just because the denominator is bigger. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 12PM Schedule Interviews
Co-worker #1: What happened to that [Veronica] girl?
Co-worker #2: She quit already.
Co-worker #1: After one day?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I don’t think she was that into this whole thing.
Co-worker #1: What, marketing?
Co-worker #2: No…Work. 175 5th Avenue
New York, NY Overheard by: Peter [Link]
Mental Floss » Let It Snow, Make It So
Set a course for the Festivus Quadrant and press play on your YouTube thingy. There is zero educational content in this video, but it is delightful. Make it so! (If you're more of a Star Wars fan, happy life day!) [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Plus Clowns
Coworker #1: What is Cirque du Soleil anyway?Coworker #2: I went to the website — it looks like it’s just a bunch of Asians stretching.Columbus, Ohio [Link]
Weird Universe » Crusader for corporal punishment caned
Eric Wildman was a crusader for corporal punishment. He believed strongly that if you spare the rod, you'll spoil the child. He was the president (and perhaps only member?) of the National Society for the Retention of Corporal Punishment in Schools. To support himself, he sold canes and whipping paraphenalia to schools and caning enthusiasts.
In 1948, he was invited … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this badass [Photoshop]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CSB Sunday Morning: Cool Story Bowlcut [Cool]
[link] [118 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cleveland men's argument over their sexuality ends in a sword fight. Well, that clears up any confusion [Dumbass]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Dr. Black & Mr. Hyde
Caution: gratuitous bare female flesh for a few seconds at the start.
Full movie below.
[Link]
Overheard In The Office » Yeah, a Lot Of Us Peaked in High School
Male financial analyst: I’m having trouble counting to eighteen right now.Wall Street
New York City, New York [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Couple moves into a serial killer's old digs and then bolts a life size replica of the murderess' likeness to the front of the house. Results are predictable [Dumbass]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Ask anyone born later than 1970 what they think of when they hear the name Richard Pryor and, unless they draw a complete blank, they'll gush over movies like "The Toy" or "Superman III," says columnist with no concept of rea
[link] [148 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » You Might Glimpse This Magnificent Creature Grazing on the Salad Bar
Employee, about coworker: Now, she is what we call an “amazon woman.” She's been known to eat puppies, kittens, and babies. You might have to jog a bit to keep up with her. Following the amazon woman to lunch is like chasing a wildebeest across the savannah.Dallas, Texas [Link]
Fark.com RSS » While everybody was watching Pahoa in Hawaii, lava snuck up and ate another town in Cape Verde [Scary]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » sexualpopcorn says FML
Today, as I was saying bye to my girlfriend, I said "see ya later, alligator." She took offense because she thought I called her ugly. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » High School senior wins fight to have photo of her with her rifle included in yearbook. Obviously, she's compensating for having a small penis [Interesting]
[link] [113 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CNN addresses the difficult questions. "Mom, why do your boobs hang?" [Weird]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Only in Nebraska Can Vanilla Extract Get You Laid
Lab tech #1: They're only 35 calories.Lab tech #2: My fingers.Lab tech #1: Yeah, but they smell yummy.Omaha, Nebraska [Link]
FMyLife » KalaKa says FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a long-overdue message telling her I feel like she doesn't really care about me any more, that it seems like she only ever calls me when she needs money, and that I'm even starting to suspect she may be cheating on me. 14 hours later, she replied: "TL;DR". FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » JFK was so tough on the Soviets that he even went as far as to protect Santa Claus [Interesting]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man forgets to blow out a candle in a room with a fish tank and you know what happens next [Spiffy]
[link] [68 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » financially_wreckd says FML
Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man runs stop sign, jumps a curb and blows a tire. He then walks away from the scene with his case of beer. Pretty impressive for a former police chief [Fail]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman: I won $10,000 on the lottery. Store clerk: Congrats. Here's your $930. Woman: What about the rest of the money? Store clerk: What money? [Dumbass]
[link] [97 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » “A Man His Own Grandfather”
The following remarkable coincidence will be read with interest: Sometime since it was announced that a man at Titusville, Pennsylvania, committed suicide for the strange reason that he had discovered that he was his own grandfather. Leaving a dying statement explaining this singular circumstance, we will not attempt to unravel it, but give his own explanation of the mixed-up condition … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coming up at the top of the hour it's a very special Christmas edition of Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of live music from Juneau, Alaska, hosted by a farker [Cool]
[link] [151 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Driver calls police, gets arrested on DUI charge after pants fall down [Dumbass]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Family facing foreclosure on home they built themselves rescued by skydiving Santa with a check. I'm sure he kicked up a lot of that stupid dust metaphor [Spiffy]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Raise Your Hand If You Assumed “Get My Freak On” Meant Something Else
White attorney,at deposition: Are there any activities you used to do before the accident that you can no longer do?Trinidadian woman, 55: I can’t get my freak on anymore.White attorney, smiling: Remember, I have to report this to a bunch of other white people. How often did you used to freak before the accident?Trinidadian woman: Oh, I went to dance clubs … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Without Him, I Don’t Want a Liver
Cashier #1: So, how are you?Cashier #2: Oh, you know — I’m still really upset about–Cashier #1: –About that whole David* thing?Cashier #2: Yeah, I’m still really upset about us breaking up.Cashier #1: Oh… Yeah…Cashier #2: But he called last night and said he’ll think about getting back together.Cashier #1: Oh, well… that’s good, isn’t it?Cashier #2: So then I drank … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » MacGyver Improvises Another Brilliant Escape
Co-worker: Quick! Does anyone have a picture of a beaver I can use?… And I mean a big one.Toronto, ON CanadaOverheard by: better be soft (at least) [Link]
Overheard In The Office » You Make an Excellent Point
Old, constantly inappropriate boss: I’m gonna bust your ass, girl.Young girl employee: You’ll do no such thing.Old, constantly inappropriate boss: Oh, yeah? Why’s that?Young girl employee: Because I’d karate chop you in the jugular.14th Street and 3rd Avenue
Ft. Lauderdale, FloridaOverheard by: Still can’t believe I work here [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 Ways Gesture Recognition Technology Will Revolutionize Education
Whether you’re learning how to spell or how to perform open-heart surgery, movement is essential in helping retain vital information—hearing a lecture is great, but there’s no substitute for hands-on experience. As gesture recognition technology keeps improving and expanding with Intel leading the way, classrooms will become more dynamic—here’s how. 1. By Increasing Student Interest A student who is active … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 2014: The Year America Overreacted in Fear [Sad]
[link] [83 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my fiancé pawned off my engagement ring so he could buy himself a PS4. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Whiny neighbors complained about his awesome Christmas displays. I bet they're sorry now. Also, where can I get a urinating Santa that lights up at night? [Amusing]
[link] [140 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Still Have Trouble Believing in Star Jones!
Disenchanted woman: One of my colleagues just began a sentence with “Star Jones says.” I can’t fucking believe I work here.Oxnard Street
Los Angeles, CaliforniaOverheard by: Brokeass Harem [Link]
Overheard In The Office » With a Few Old Band-aids Thrown in for Balance.
Guy to friend: Hey, what's in this? It's great!Friend: It's a baked potato soup base, and I added the chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and green beans I had at hot tubs from the other night, two chicken enchiladas and Mexican rice from Playa Maya, some corn, and some fried chicken from Babe's, and a can of chicken broth.Guy: Mmmm…Granbury, Texas … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this special delivery [Photoshop]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: D’oh!
With 26 seasons and counting, it's no surprise that The Simpsons has irrevocably changed the English language itself. * Never forget all the things the Internet got angry about this year, whether righteously or not, with Slate's interactive "hate calendar." * Stephen Colbert left no celebrity unturned for the appropriately over-the-top, star-studded musical finale to his satirical news show. * … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman tries to trademark "I can't breathe" to sell merchandise [Fail]
[link] [70 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Baghdad has new Western-style shopping mall – one with metal detectors, armed guards, and pat-down specialists, but nevertheless a mall. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED [Misc]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sorry, citizen, but our sensors indicate that you were speeding through the toll plaza. Your driving privileges on this road have been suspended [Scary]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Barely news: Some kid gets mugged in Chicago. Big time news: The mayor's kid gets mugged in Chicago [Scary]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A new tradition is born in Ireland: "The 12 Pubs of Christmas" … to be visited all in one night [Cool]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Bob's Retirement Necessitated the Jaws Of Life
Loud guy from corner cubicle: You will just never believe this, I am the heaviest I have been in my entire life. That's what working here for ten years will do to you. Quiet woman who shares cubicle: Well, at least you know you won't blow away.Pittsburgh, PennsylvaniaOverheard by: not that heavy [Link]
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