Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Your young son wets himself. Do you: A) Threaten to put him in diapers; B) Sooth him and tell him it's okay; C) Dress him up in girls clothing, mock him, take pictures of him, and post those pictures to Facebook so everyone can laugh? [Florida]
[link] [119 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Well, What Are My Choices?
Worker bee #1: Have you ever been constipated?Worker bee #2: Not severely.Worker bee #1: Oh, it’s horrible! I hate it! I would rather have diarrhea!Worker bee #2: No, you wouldn’t.Worker bee #1: Oh, yes, I would! At least then you know there’s going to be an end to it… It wears out.Worker bee #2: Yeah, but with diarrhea you could have … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » People ask me how I do it / and I say there's nothing to it / You just stand there looking cute / and when something moves, you shoot [Dumbass]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Ad: “With Our New Space-Saving Invention, Now You Can Be a Slut– Even on the Go!”
Frustrated girl: My stripper shoes won't fit in my bag!Surry Hills
Sydney
Australia [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Farker Needs a hobby. Difficulty: No work shop space or garage. Suggestions? [Survey]
[link] [365 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » An anonymous "layaway angel" spent $20,000 paying off every single layaway account at a Toys R Us store in Bellingham, Mass [Sappy]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this roaring weather [Photoshop]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 71 year old man wakes up to 33 year old woman getting into bed with him. Unfortunately, she was still in her car [Dumbass]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Grocery stores reportedly running out of tinfoil across the Phoenix metro area [Amusing]
[link] [140 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Soldier stationed in Missouri travels to South Carolina to visit his newborn child and wife. What could ruin this? Oh yes, a landlord who wants to evict the wife and child because the soldier has "overstayed as a visitor" [Dumbass]
[link] [153 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Icelandic Naming Committee approves new human names Súlamít, Bláklukka, Hrafnfjörð, and Lýra, also issues warning for non-native speakers about potential to swallow their own tongue while greeting someone [PSA]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Guy looking for a house to flip stumbles upon home of Wild Bill from Band of Brothers. A dusty, dusty home [Hero]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Should you be concerned about a cheese preservative banned at Whole Foods? What the hell do food hipsters know about preservatives? Or the entire country of Lebanon. It's just cheese [Scary]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Nicole says FML
Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bad: rear-ending an off-duty cop with your car. Worse: Punching him and fleeing the scene after he identifies himself. Epic Fail: Forgetting to ditch your cocaine and grabbing a cop by the throat during your arrest [Fail]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "A man's elaborate attempt to propose to his girlfriend ended in disaster when a crane destroyed a house" (with video) [Amusing]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A murder in Ohio [Scary]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Should Los Angeles pave over its freeways? [Interesting]
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Tired of scorching hot bacon fat spitting all over your family jewels? You need naked bacon cooking armor [Silly]
[link] [68 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Defense attorney says police officers should only go to prison for 1/100 as long as others convicted of the same crime. Surprisingly, the judge doesn't agree [Obvious]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » oh dear says FML
Today, my dog woke me up at 3am, barking. I scolded him and went back to sleep, meanwhile the burglars he was barking at stole my TV, laptop, and car. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If somoene calls you from an unknown number and tells you they are a family member that needs $2000 so they can come home without a criminal record, chances are they already have one [Obvious]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sad: wild African dog pups abandoned by mother at OKC Zoo. Good: adopted by surrogate golden retriever. With dawwww pics of the "wild" pups [Spiffy]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In the mad rush of Christmas shopping, don't forget the little guy [Silly]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Good Samaritan comes to defense of woman after perv grabs her ass. Perv arrested and charged with felony. Now perv suing Samaritan for public embarrassment [Asinine]
[link] [102 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Judges orders Arizona woman released after 22 years on death row for killing her 4 year old son, because prosecutors didn't turn over evidence against a lying POS detective with a history of being a lying liar [Hero]
[link] [154 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Smacking a middle school student with a hubcap, then walking into a nearby business naked is a quick way to get a psych evaluation [Strange]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » 1Nsan3 says FML
Today, after months of correcting him, I got so used to my boss calling me "Alex" that I didn't respond to my own name several times today. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Supreme Court to review case about Spider-Man toy. Legal experts expect the landmark decision in Finders v. Keepers will surely come into play [Interesting]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch Neil Gaiman Recite "Jabberwocky" in the Woods
Neil Gaiman is a longtime supporter of Worldbuilders, a charity that in turn supports Heifer International. (Basically, fans of various authors pledge to Worldbuilders, money goes to Heifer, and fans get cool stuff from authors.) In February, Gaiman set out a $500,000 funding goal and ended up reading Green Eggs and Ham shortly after it was met. So the goal … [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: A Fake da Vinci?
There's a scandal brewing in the art world, where a painting long attributed to Renaissance luminary Leonardo da Vinci may not be the real deal after all. * Using just one weird trick (flash photography), parents can check young children for a certain type of aggressive retinal cancer. * There's no need to go outside for thrills if you live … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Here's some of the stolen Lindt chocolate we've recovered," the police said cordially [Followup]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man who pleads guilty to 10th DWI, who also has 10 previous convictions for driving on a suspended license gets prison time. Just kidding, he gets probation again [Asinine]
[link] [72 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Well, Drew's weekend is shot [Sad]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's that time of again where politicians start sending out holiday cards. Photoshop Merry Christmas / Happy Hanukah / Krazy Kwanzaa / Festive Festivus cards that you'd like to see them mail out. LGT inspiration [Photoshop]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Best Way to Try Something New Is to Maintain at Least a Little Connection to the Familiar
Girl #1: You know that gay guy that works second shift?Girl #2: Yeah, what about him?Girl #1: I took him out to meet all my hetero friends, and they enjoyed the shit out of him.2800 East 28th Street
Minneapolis, MinnesotaOverheard by: snorted my diet mountain dew [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I'll Be Right Over
Department head on phone, talking about screws and fasteners: A Tek 5 should work fine… What? Did you just say “super woody”?New Braunfels, TexasOverheard by: That Guy [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Come to Work So I Don't Have to Think About Sex
Sales to admin: Size doesn't matter. I've got a video you should watch. It'll teach you step by step how to do it right. It'll be great for both parties. She'll be begging for it.Herndon, VirginiaOverheard by: Nate [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Best. Motivational Poster. Ever.
Office girl: Why are the long ones so hard to blow?WalesOverheard by: number8pie [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Why I Don't Talk to My Co-Workers: Explained.
CSR on phone with customer: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't cover vehicles outside the United States. (five minutes later)CSR to coworker: I think I told the customer the wrong thing. Is Hawaii part of the United States?Southington, Connecticut [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Have You Been Talking to Uncle Gary Again?
Colleague: I'm so tired all the time, man. I must have necrophilia.Toronto
CanadiaOverheard by: I know Latin [Link]
Weird Universe » Butterick Tweety Sewing Pattern
Several currently for sale on Etsy and eBay.
Thanks to Deborah Newton. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Remember the girl labeled a "spoiled brat" after successfully suing her estranged parents for $19,000 in college fees? Now she's back in court because they refuse to pay [Followup]
[link] [209 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » 12 13 14
Happy 12-13-14 Day!
USA Today notes that we don't get another sequential calendar day for 20 years, when we'll arrive at 1-2-34 day.
[Link]
Weird Universe » Criminals Named Christmas
There was Christmas Jones, sent to prison for debt in January 1815.
Christmas Allen (father and son), both charged with larceny.
And Christmas Crisp, who did six months for larceny in 1837. His son, Christmas Crisp Junior, appears to have been an honest man.
Perhaps being named Christmas was the 19th Century equivalent of having the middle name Wayne. [via … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I came home to find out my roommate sold my PS4, because, "You don't use it anymore." FML [Link]
FMyLife » driven_crazy says FML
Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I took my Spanish exam. One of the questions was to translate "Mark is lazy and antisocial." My name is Mark. Everyone kept giving me weird looks the whole test. FML [Link]
FMyLife » PyroSam says FML
Today, my boyfriend sent Christmas Carollers to my house to tell me he was breaking up with me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Since Christmas is fast approaching, here are a couple of dozen felines getting into the holiday spirit on Caturday [Caturday]
[link] [884 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Worst Christmas Gifts ever #3 made subby chuckle. #19 made subby cringe and go WTF? [Amusing]
[link] [91 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Dad's Retirement Plan Involves Armed Robbery
Lady in cube on phone: Hey, where's a good place to buy dad a new holster for his .38? (pause) No! I got him bullets last year!Aliso Viejo, California [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sometimes the Internet does create a Christmas miracle [Spiffy]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …and Gets Me Female Companionship
Comp tech: If I had a million dollars I’d invent popcorn that pops every kernel.Broadway
New York City, New YorkOverheard by: TerryFTW [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cool: Dad helps you spruce up your new apartment. Holy fark: Dad helps you spruce up your 80-year-old abandoned grocery store with period-accurate everything, top to bottom [Cool]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The US spent millions of dollars on a Special Ops project to take over Cuba with hip-hop. I think we've found the plot for the next Coen Brothers movie [Weird]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » A Natural Mistake
The story of a musical misprint, with perhaps a moral: A student whom Dr Goldovsky describes as ‘technically competent but a poor reader’ prepared a Brahms Capriccio (Op. 76 No. 2) which she brought to her lesson. She began to play the piece through but when she arrived at the C sharp major chord on the first beat of the … [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Misconceptions About Sleep
Elliott Morgan debunks some sleep myths. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » South Dakota pulls 'Don't Jerk and Drive' campaign. Actual alternative slogans? "Jerking isn't a joke" and "Think before you jerk" [Followup]
[link] [95 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ugly-ass baby siamang debuts at Virginia Zoo, immediately gets picked on by older sister [Sappy]
[link] [9 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Tamir Rice shooting declared a homicide… which isn't surprising to anyone who knows the definition of "homicide" [Followup]
[link] [385 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Magic mushrooms growing in Buckingham Palace gives a new meaning to your Royal Highness [Amusing]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Sir, is that a dead fetus in your car?" "It's okay, officer, I have a permit." "Move along" [Strange]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're the owner of the $1 million in cash found in the back of a burning truck in East Texas, the Harrison County Sheriff's Office would like to speak with you [Strange]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Snuggie is back and worse than ever before [Scary]
[link] [86 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Watch Penguins Play an iPad Game
Have you ever wanted to see penguins play an iPad game? Now you can. Sara Mandel, an aviculturist at the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach, California, downloaded the iPad app Game for Cats for her felines, but found that the Magellanic penguins she cares for are interested in it, too. "I was pretty new to the position," she … [Link]
Mental Floss » Unlock a New App Experience
Brought to you by Windows Store Windows Store gives you access to tons of gaming, lifestyle, entertainment and social apps. Apps run smarter on Windows, up to four at a time and side-by-side on the same screen to get more done. Be sure to discover and download thousands of apps for phones, tablets and PCs by visiting Windows Store at: … [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 Hat Legends, Fact Checked
Common knowledge has a lot to say about hats—but is it true? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Facebook post costs Airbus $5 billion. Like • Comment • Share [Interesting]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Mom, Don’t Even Mention the Hoo-Hoo Zone
Mother: Sweetie, do you need to pee-pee?3-Year-Old girl: Mom, why do you call it that? It’s piss!12350 Jefferson Avenue
Newport News, Virginia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I’ve Had Problems with Extra-Crispy
Girl: No! It was a regular chicken suit!University of Missouri-Columbia
Columbia, MissouriOverheard by: Hop-15 [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Ah, Gonorrhea.
Coworker #1: I can't believe we didn't catch that last time!
Coworker #2: We did… and laughed at it. Manhattan, New York [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …Without Actually Reading It
Professor on phone: Do you know if Diane is right or left handed?Office administrator: Ummm… I have no idea, why?Professor on phone: Because I'm trying to figure out who left me this note.Canberra
AustraliaOverheard by: Tilla [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And Susan Was Maimed. Isn’t That Great?
Boss: I wouldn’t even be able to kill myself right today. I’d screw it up.Employee: If it makes you feel better I knocked myself unconscious this weekend.Boss: Yeah, actually, it does.323 East Grand River
Howell, MichiganOverheard by: Pam Beasley [Link]
Overheard In The Office » So How Many Can I Put You Down For?
Coworker to customer: That’s what nipple rings are for.Minneapolis, Minnesota [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Capital One guys are regretting hiring the barbarians
Coworker: No violence in the office!Charlotte, North Carolina [Link]
FMyLife » lateralligator says FML
Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this innovative invention [Photoshop]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ever wonder what music your surgeon is listening to while he cuts you open? [Interesting]
[link] [119 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Gay South African model finds out his pictures is up on an antigay billboard in Richmond, Virginia [Fail]
[link] [109 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I found out first-hand that the most horrifying sight you can ever witness is two morbidly obese people getting nasty with each other in a dance club's run-down, public restroom. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » How Did You Get Both Feet into One Sock?
Boss: You know those people from Saudi Arabia?Assistant: Yes.Boss: Are they Iranians?Franklin Avenue
New York, New York [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In the race to win most evil organization, ISIS is turning on the gas over the last furlong [Sick]
[link] [122 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How To Taste Whiskey Like A Master Distiller
Whether you’re a whiskey novice or veteran collector, tasting new (and familiar) products is one of the best parts of the hobby. Seventh generation Jim Beam Master Distiller Fred Noe’s favorite part of his job is tasting the whiskey at every step in production. “When you’re tasting what comes out [of the barrel] at different points while it’s aging, you … [Link]
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