John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Mental Floss » 10 Tragic Stories of Extinct Animals

Wednesday 10 December 23:30:00 UTC 2014

The tale of the dodo is one of the most famous stories of extinction in all natural history. Native only to the tiny island of Mauritius in the Indian Ocean, the birds had never learned any reason to be fearful of humans, so when European explorers first began to visit the island in the 17th century, the dodos were apparently … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Oh, brains" [Sick]

Wednesday 10 December 22:31:11 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Christmas Sweater-Clad Sheep Reunited with Family

Wednesday 10 December 21:28:50 UTC 2014

Residents of Omaha, Nebraska saw something strange wandering their streets over the weekend: A sheep wearing a jolly Christmas sweater. The festively-attired animal was captured by animal control at 13th and Ogden Streets on Sunday and taken to the Nebraska Humane Society. "Here’s something we don’t see every day!" NHS posted on its Facebook page along with a photo of … [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Howard Cosell Announces John Lennon's Death

Wednesday 10 December 21:28:49 UTC 2014

This week marked the 34th anniversary of John Lennon’s murder. Listening to Howard Cosell deliver this news live during a football game is harrowing even though you know what he’s going to say. * Wired gives 10 reasons that brain myths are hurting us. * A Harvard Business School professor took issue with being overcharged by $4 by a local … [Link]

Mental Floss » The Most Interesting Comics of the Week

Wednesday 10 December 21:28:48 UTC 2014

Every Wednesday, I write about the most interesting new comics hitting comic shops, bookstores, digital, Kickstarter, and the web. Feel free to comment below if there's a comic you've read recently that you want to talk about or an upcoming comic that you'd like me to consider highlighting. Here By Richard McGuire
Pantheon Books One corner of an apartment, glimpsed at … [Link]

The Onion » Infographic: The Onion’s Holiday TV Guide: Movies And Shows To Watch This Season

Wednesday 10 December 21:25:00 UTC 2014

Here’s The Onion’s guide to what to watch this holiday season
[Link]

The Onion » American Voices: New Amazon ‘Make An Offer’ Feature Allows Shoppers To Haggle Over Price

Wednesday 10 December 21:21:00 UTC 2014

Amazon has introduced a new feature called Make an Offer, which allows online shoppers to propose a lower price to sellers that they can either accept, reject, or counter-offer, though at this point the feature mostly applies to sports memorabilia, movie …
[Link]

The Onion » Teen Sick Of Mother Barging Into Room With Clean, Folded Clothes

Wednesday 10 December 21:19:00 UTC 2014

ELIZABETHTOWN, PA—Voicing displeasure at her blatant disregard for his privacy, area teenager Chad Fleming reported Wednesday that he is fed up with his mother always barging into his room to put away freshly washed laundry.
[Link]

The Onion » Returning Parents Can Tell Son Had Huge House Fire Over Weekend

Wednesday 10 December 21:14:00 UTC 2014

VERONA, WI—Despite his best efforts to conceal the damage, area teen Kyle Towser confirmed Wednesday that his parents could clearly tell he had a huge house fire while they were away for the weekend.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cracker Barrel waitress gets her old beater replaced with a newer beater [Sappy]

Wednesday 10 December 21:06:03 UTC 2014

Sappy [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this subdued expression [Photoshop]

Wednesday 10 December 21:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 of Barbara Walters' Most Fascinating People You May Have Forgotten

Wednesday 10 December 21:00:00 UTC 2014

Some of the people that were once known for being fascinating have been forgotten. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beware the sheep in dog's clothing. Or laugh at it. Your call [Amusing]

Wednesday 10 December 20:50:53 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [18 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » NotAnInLawFamilyMan says FML

Wednesday 10 December 20:45:29 UTC 2014

Today, my mother-in-maw informed us that she sold her house and is moving in with us so we'll "take care" of her in old age. She's in perfect health. We've only been married for 4 months. My wife can't stand her for more than 2 weeks at a time, let alone living with us. FML [Link]

FMyLife » mastel07 says FML

Wednesday 10 December 20:45:28 UTC 2014

Today, I found a very light blonde long hair on my marital bed's pillow. I confronted my husband about it and after hours of arguments and me throwing his stuff out of the house, I found another. Attached to my head. My husband isn't having an affair, I'm just going grey. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Montana legislature to female members: Calm your tits [Fail]

Wednesday 10 December 20:31:30 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [183 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Report: 80% Of Queen’s ‘Greatest Hits’ CDs Lodged In Center Console Of First Car

Wednesday 10 December 20:20:00 UTC 2014

WASHINGTON— Confirming that most copies have not been played since high school, a report released Wednesday by the Pew Research Center found that 80 percent of British rock band Queen’s Greatest Hits CDs are currently lodged in the cent…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Before robbing a store, check your zippers. All of them [Dumbass]

Wednesday 10 December 20:06:54 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's hot tip: "It's time to end inaccurate criticisms of male circumcision" [Interesting]

Wednesday 10 December 20:06:53 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [294 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How to turn an $82,000 mobile home into a $1.8 million mobile home [Florida]

Wednesday 10 December 20:06:52 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just in time for the holiday season, Saruman sings heavy metal Christmas carols [Cool]

Wednesday 10 December 20:05:52 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Anatomy of a Corn Dog

Wednesday 10 December 20:00:00 UTC 2014

To make the county fair staple, you need ingredients from all over the globe. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Much like Congress, UPS drivers won't turn left [Interesting]

Wednesday 10 December 19:55:55 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman in English courtroom gives evidence for an hour before anyone figures out she doesn't speak a word of it [Weird]

Wednesday 10 December 19:55:49 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [18 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Michelle Obama Quietly Reassigned To Department Of Agriculture After Butting Heads With President

Wednesday 10 December 19:46:00 UTC 2014

WASHINGTON—After allegedly clashing with the commander-in-chief behind closed doors over the past several months, Michelle Obama has been quietly reassigned to a position within the Department of Agriculture, White House sources confirmed Wednesday.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman reveals she's compelled to eat a roll of toilet paper a day, even though it wipes her out [Sick]

Wednesday 10 December 19:41:00 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Shocking new study finds majority of children don't know that Christmas was when the Easter Bunny was nailed to a tree to tell us it was not OK to eat fish on Friday [Sad]

Wednesday 10 December 19:40:04 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Neighborhood residents claim flood of raw sewage evolved from runoff from wastewater treatment facility, although facility spokespeople dispute the origin of the feces [Sick]

Wednesday 10 December 19:25:53 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Express

Wednesday 10 December 19:17:59 UTC 2014

On Feb. 19, 1916, as workers were digging a new subway line under the East River toward Brooklyn Heights, a burst of compressed air blew 28-year-old Marshall Mabey up through 12 feet of river bed, through the river, and 25 feet into the air atop a geyser of water. Impossibly, he was not seriously injured. From the New York Times: … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Queen Fabiola, Belgium's fifth queen dies at age 86. She is survived by her husband, King Fantastico and her children Prince Superbo, Princess Marvelina [Sad]

Wednesday 10 December 19:15:08 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Little Girl’s ASL Version of 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' Will Make Your Heart Grow 3 Sizes

Wednesday 10 December 19:00:00 UTC 2014

Last year a little Deaf girl named Shaylee stole our hearts with her adorable and linguistically sophisticated sign language performance of The Night Before Christmas. This year the ASL learning site ASLnook (run by her parents Sheena McFeely and Manny Johnson) features a new performance by Shaylee in which she tells the story of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. You … [Link]

The Onion » Slideshow: 10 People Who Made No Difference In 2014

Wednesday 10 December 18:40:00 UTC 2014

10 People Who Made No Difference In 2014
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » How one well intentioned law is turning the friendly skies into a petting zoo with the pigs and the peacocks and such [Stupid]

Wednesday 10 December 18:26:25 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [126 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Rejoice! Nick Offerman's Wooden Emojis Are Now Real

Wednesday 10 December 18:15:06 UTC 2014

After Conan aired a pseudo commercial for Nick Offerman-crafted wood Emojis, the world was captivated. Miraculously, you may now be able to own your very own for only $100. The Conan teamed partnered with Tilt.com to sell 100 prototypes to zealous fans; all the proceeds are going to Children's Defense Fund. Fans can picks from classics such as Heart Eyes, … [Link]

Mental Floss » This Little Girl’s ASL Version of 'The Grinch Who Stole Christmas' Will Make Your Heart Grow 3 Sizes

Wednesday 10 December 18:15:05 UTC 2014

Last year a little Deaf girl named Shaylee stole our hearts with her adorable and linguistically sophisticated sign language performance of The Night Before Christmas. This year the ASL learning site ASLnook (run by her parents Sheena McFeely and Manny Johnson) features a new performance by Shaylee in which she tells the story of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. You … [Link]

Mental Floss » The "Star Wars" Teaser Trailer…from 1976

Wednesday 10 December 18:15:00 UTC 2014

In the two weeks since we first saw the new Star Wars: Episode VII teaser trailer, nerds have picked apart every frame in a delightful way. But this is not the first time we've had a teaser trailer for Star Wars. A long time ago, in a movie theater far, far away, the Force awakened in a super-boring way. Here's … [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Third Day of Christmas

Wednesday 10 December 18:14:59 UTC 2014

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » The hater's guide to the 2014 Williams-Sonoma catalog. "$40 croissants? I have to fry them myself? FARK YOU, WILLIAMS-SONOMA" [Amusing]

Wednesday 10 December 18:05:38 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's story on millennials demonstrating just how self-absorbed their precious snowflake upbringing has made them courtesy of Harvard, Columbia and Georgetown law schools [Followup]

Wednesday 10 December 17:59:31 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [189 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dog figures out how to get into refrigerator. He told you he wanted steak, you should have listened [Amusing]

Wednesday 10 December 17:58:57 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Magician performs his greatest trick – using a Rubik's cube to get out of a speeding ticket [Spiffy]

Wednesday 10 December 17:38:25 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police are combing the tired, poor, and huddled masses for the man who robbed Ellis Island Casino and Brewery [Dumbass]

Wednesday 10 December 17:30:01 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Perfume Scents from Unexpected Places

Wednesday 10 December 17:30:00 UTC 2014

Wondering how to profit off your impressive collection of belly button lint? Looking to avoid big cats while exploring the Amazon? The world of perfume has the answers. [Link]

The Onion » Slideshow: Top Drones Of 2014

Wednesday 10 December 17:30:00 UTC 2014

Top Drones Of 2014
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who knew the world's most insane dictators were pickier eaters than a toddler in a bad mood? [Interesting]

Wednesday 10 December 17:16:20 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Missouri man executed for listening to "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" too much [Followup]

Wednesday 10 December 17:10:13 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Northern Ireland outlaws dating [Interesting]

Wednesday 10 December 17:09:55 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » On the Down Side, Then Where Would New York Dump All Its Garbage?

Wednesday 10 December 17:07:09 UTC 2014

Employee #1: Irene is gonna wipe out Staten Island.Employee #2: It's about time.Manhattan, New York [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Which Totally Explains the Mona Lisa's Smile

Wednesday 10 December 17:07:08 UTC 2014

Office lady: That woman's smoking crack. She's smoking crack and watching Elvis Blue Hawaii videos.Boston, Massachusetts [Link]

Overheard In The Office » The Kit-Kat Commercial That Never Made It to TV

Wednesday 10 December 17:07:07 UTC 2014

Guy in stall to man in next stall making straining sounds: Are you okay?Man on toilet: Yeah. (pauses, with legs stretched out) Just taking a break.Baltimore, MarylandOverheard by: Should not have asked [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Talk to the Administrator

Wednesday 10 December 17:07:01 UTC 2014

Photographer: Anyone have a top hat in the building? How about a riding crop? If you do, please let me know. I won’t tell anyone.508 Young Street
Dallas, Texas [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Why Muzzles Were Invented.

Wednesday 10 December 17:07:00 UTC 2014

Director: There's an anti-harassment meeting tomorrow with the VP, so please no herpes jokes.Sales rep: Okay.Director: And no calling Kevin a pussy.Sales rep: That was you!Director: Yeah, but you were thinking it.Charlotte, North Carolina [Link]

The Onion » Lakers Confident They Just Need Another Once-In-A-Generation Player To Get Back On Track

Wednesday 10 December 17:00:00 UTC 2014

LOS ANGELES—Despite his team’s dismal start to the NBA season, Los Angeles Lakers general manager Mitch Kupchak told reporters Wednesday that he believes the franchise only needs to add another once-in-a-generation player to get back on track.
[Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 10 December 16:59:05 UTC 2014

Today, while shopping, an old lady approached me and told me off for not wearing my uniform and for wearing makeup on the job. I explained to her that I didn't work there, but she insisted that I take her to my 'boss' so that he could fire me. She wouldn't leave until he did. FML [Link]

FMyLife » duncan74 says FML

Wednesday 10 December 16:59:03 UTC 2014

Today, my cats found a new game to play. They each sit on either side of the cat flap, and take turns hitting it. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. At 3 am. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Porn lovers are pissed off at the UK's attempt to ban certain types of porn, so 500 people will simulate sex outside Parliament this Friday, hoping to break the Sexual Freedom World Record for the most people face-sitting at one time" [F

Wednesday 10 December 16:57:51 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Your Testimony Is Highly Suspect

Wednesday 10 December 16:45:53 UTC 2014

Designer: Here, just try it.Writer: No.Designer: Come on! Why are you being so stubborn?Writer, shouting: I am not putting that in my mouth! It’s all limp!Pause.Writer, shouting into hallway: I was talking about French fries!16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, ArizonaOverheard by: Miel [Link]

The Onion » Slideshow: The Onion’s Holiday Gift Guide For Her

Wednesday 10 December 16:45:00 UTC 2014

The Onion’s Holiday Gift Guide For Her
[Link]

The Onion » American Voices: General Mills Reviving French Toast Crunch

Wednesday 10 December 16:40:00 UTC 2014

Eight years after retiring it from grocery store shelves, General Mills has announced it will reintroduce French Toast Crunch, the cereal with tiny squares artificially flavored like French toast, in response to new interest from consumers.
[Link]

The Onion » Man Always Wanted To Raise Family In Kind Of Place Where White People Greet Each Other On The Street

Wednesday 10 December 16:30:00 UTC 2014

CINCINNATI—Saying it’s been his dream for as long as he can remember, local man Richard Jensen, 37, told reporters this week that he wants nothing more than to raise his family in the kind of place where white people greet each other on the st…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Another Cam Newton drive ends in turnover [Repeat]

Wednesday 10 December 16:28:50 UTC 2014

Repeat [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Detroit emergency manager determines financial emergency will end when city exits bankruptcy. (No need to click, that's the entire article) [Obvious]

Wednesday 10 December 16:19:38 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Does My Gadget Say It's December 31, 1969?

Wednesday 10 December 16:00:00 UTC 2014

If you’ve ever had the date on a cell phone or computer mysteriously switch to December 31, 1969, you may have thought it was simply random. However, the reason behind this odd glitch is a nice little tidbit of computer trivia. [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 10 December 15:43:17 UTC 2014

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » But Highly Profitable

Wednesday 10 December 15:41:49 UTC 2014

Female coworker on cell: Hello! Not much, how are you? (pause) Yeah, that's kind of illegal these days…Newton, Massachusetts [Link]

Fark.com RSS » US got fatter, more slothful in 2013, would try to break that record in 2014, but that's too much like work [Interesting]

Wednesday 10 December 15:35:26 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » He didn't assault or verbally abuse anyone. But he did something so gross he's been banned from Queensland Rail for life [Dumbass]

Wednesday 10 December 15:34:27 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Actual headline: "County: Van down by the river tethered to stump" [Amusing]

Wednesday 10 December 15:33:35 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » USPS worker steals cash and gift cards from 2000 pieces of mail. "I was bored" [Dumbass]

Wednesday 10 December 15:18:32 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Quantum teleportation sets new lab record of 15 miles [Spiffy]

Wednesday 10 December 15:15:57 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well, what ELSE would you expect at a place called Yeehaw Junction? [Florida]

Wednesday 10 December 15:08:37 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Overheard in the Office Hearts Geeks Of All Colors and Creeds

Wednesday 10 December 14:34:33 UTC 2014

Cubicle mate #1: Do you remember when Steve Urkel got all hot and started going as Stefan Urquelle?Cubicle mate #2, confused: Yeah…Cubicle mate #1: I just remembered that.Cubicle mate #2: Ha. Did I do that?Ontario Street
Chicago, IllinoisOverheard by: gotanycheese [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Ignominious Facts About 'The Scarlet Letter'

Wednesday 10 December 14:30:00 UTC 2014

A few things you might not know about the high school English class staple. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photographers are angry that Yahoo is making money off photos they put under a creative commons license allowing commercial use. With picture of what an angry photographer might look like [Obvious]

Wednesday 10 December 14:06:00 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these friends out and about [Photoshop]

Wednesday 10 December 14:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Unless There's a Fire, It's Best Not to Comment on Smells at Work

Wednesday 10 December 13:31:27 UTC 2014

Cube rat #1: Oh! (inhales deeply) I love that smell! Do you smell it?Cube rat #2: No. What smell?Cube rat #1: Skunk! I love the smell of skunk!Cube rat #2: It is the middle of winter…there aren't any skunks this time of year.Cube rat #1: You know, you're right. Hmmmm, I wonder…Cube rat #2: I just farted.Cube rat #1: Are you … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The 600 series had rubber skin. We spotted them easy, but these are new. They look human [Cool]

Wednesday 10 December 13:01:00 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » I Heard the Voice of a Porkchop

Wednesday 10 December 12:54:37 UTC 2014

Man so hungry he experiences auditory hallucinations. [Link]

Overheard In The Office » …Since When Do We Care About Canadians?

Wednesday 10 December 12:28:18 UTC 2014

Young phone monkey: Do Canadians celebrate Christmas?Older phone monkey: Jesus Christ!Gran Park
Orlando, Florida [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Orange County Public Schools is getting its own police force. Law and Order: Recess. Dun Dun [Florida]

Wednesday 10 December 12:27:00 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Third Day of Christmas

Wednesday 10 December 12:06:00 UTC 2014

[Link]

Weird Universe » Disruptive Kitty Litter

Wednesday 10 December 12:03:51 UTC 2014

BusinessWeek has ranked Kitty Litter at #73 in its list of the "85 most disruptive ideas in our history." It notes that the idea to market clay as cat litter, which happened in 1947, "meant that after millennia of scratching at the door cats could come indoors and stay there. They had long been visitors in American homes; now they were … [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Gigantic Artworks in Snow

Wednesday 10 December 11:30:30 UTC 2014

Snowshoes + Math = Chillingly Beautiful Snow Art. Simon Beck’s footprints in the snow make masterpieces you can only appreciate from high overhead.
*
18 Crazy Things People Have Done To Avoid Studying For Finals. Isn’t it amazing that your dorm room never needs cleaning until finals week?
*
Among the stone pile nests of Gentoo Penguins. I can’t watch … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption this image of a dude abiden' [Caption]

Wednesday 10 December 11:00:01 UTC 2014

Caption [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Toys are more divided by gender than they were fifty years ago, when social gender lines were much more rigid [Ironic]

Wednesday 10 December 10:54:00 UTC 2014

Ironic [link] [257 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'm not saying it was Greenpeace, but it was Greenpeace [Sick]

Wednesday 10 December 10:02:00 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [91 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » apparentlyugly says FML

Wednesday 10 December 9:26:27 UTC 2014

Today, after spending a lazy day at home, I went to UPS with my mom to help her pick up a package. While in line, she sent me back to the car because I'm, "an embarrassment to be around" when I'm not wearing makeup. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » MoMA Acquires Fabric-Like 3D Printed Dress

Wednesday 10 December 8:57:12 UTC 2014

Yesterday, New York's Museum of Modern Art acquired a dress that was created as part of Design studio Nervous System's Kinematics project. Although the dress was produced by a 3D printer, and thus necessarily comprised of inflexible plastic, a series of 2279 unique triangular panels interconnected by 3316 hinges allow the finish garment to move and be malleable, sort of … [Link]

Futility Closet » In a Word

Wednesday 10 December 7:16:29 UTC 2014

ploration
n. weeping begrutten
adj. having a face swollen from weeping Niobe
n. an inconsolably bereaved woman, a weeping woman [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CNN has just discovered that anyone with a valid driver's license and the ability to pass a drug test can be hired as armed security guards [Obvious]

Wednesday 10 December 7:11:00 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [102 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » SickMaMa says FML

Wednesday 10 December 6:09:07 UTC 2014

Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 Brilliant Ways Your Computer Can Respond to Your Mood With Emotion Tracking

Wednesday 10 December 5:07:18 UTC 2014

Computers can't truly be intuitive until they understand how you feel and not just how you act. With new 3D scanning technologies and depth cameras coming soon from Intel, accurate emotion tracking—the ability to determine your mood just by reading your facial expressions—will soon become a reality. Here are a few ways we imagine personal computing is finally about to … [Link]

FMyLife » thatsnice says FML

Wednesday 10 December 4:49:23 UTC 2014

Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New study shows the most annoying airplane passenger is…you. Yes, you. In seat 34-B. STOP KICKING MY F*CKING SEAT YOU JACKBAG [PSA]

Wednesday 10 December 4:11:11 UTC 2014

PSA [link] [190 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » We Have No Words.

Wednesday 10 December 4:03:19 UTC 2014

Production manager: I'm going to kick some Chinese ass!Entry woman: Knock their slanty eyes straight!Essex, MarylandOverheard by: NOT a racist [Link]

Overheard In The Office » His Sensitivity Might Be Better Appreciated at Country Curtains

Wednesday 10 December 4:03:18 UTC 2014

Guy to his wife: Hey… look at this guy’s picture on the wall. He looks like he is miserable and doesn’t like being at work.Home Depot Employee whose picture is on the wall: That was taken on a bad hair day!Man: Oh… sorry. Where would you find paint?Dallas, TexasOverheard by: Home Depot Shopper [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Then What Kind of Tree Would You Be?

Wednesday 10 December 4:03:12 UTC 2014

Lawyer: So, he was all like, “But I’m a cabinet maker.” And I was like, “But what if you were a brain surgeon…”111 Congress Avenue
Austin, TexasOverheard by: Neither a cabinet maker nor a brain surgeon [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 2PM QA

Wednesday 10 December 4:03:11 UTC 2014

Tester: Dude, did you see this? There’s a button in the software that says “Fuck Off.”
Designer: So?…That’s a feature. Did you press it?
Tester: Yeah…it just went away.
Designer: And did it make you feel better?
Tester: Strangely, yeah. Yeah, it did.
Designer: See? 211 Van Buren Street
Nashville, Indiana Overheard by: Scott [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Well, Except for Celia in Accounting

Wednesday 10 December 4:03:10 UTC 2014

Male boss: Are those cupcakes handmade?Female subordinate: We don't do hand jobs here!Washington, DCOverheard by: This isn't Starbucks [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Fine, Then Just Give Me the Ones You Have On

Wednesday 10 December 3:38:16 UTC 2014

Secretary: I’m going to Target at lunch. You need anything?
V.P.: Underwear! I always need underwear!
Secretary: Um…I’m not really comfortable with that. 1501 Woodfield Road
Schaumburg, Illinois Overheard by: Pirate Wench [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Nematodes in the News

Wednesday 10 December 3:30:00 UTC 2014

The media is riddled with nematode news. Like the worms themselves, all you have to do is look a little closely to see them. Here are six varieties that are making news in late 2014. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Jersey police on the hunt for the Garden State Breast Pump Thief [Asinine]

Wednesday 10 December 3:24:02 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There are good ways to improve your Christmas light display, and there's the Australian way [Asinine]

Wednesday 10 December 2:52:13 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Pop Culture Christmas Wreaths

Wednesday 10 December 2:19:45 UTC 2014

Even the standard evergreen wreath can be a blank slate you can decorate to show off your personality, your interests, or even your geeky obsession. Here are a few that show the neighborhood your favorite movie, TV show, or literary world. 1. Doctor Who Wreath PandoricaCraftsBox sells several Doctor Who items, including a Weeping Angel tree topper. The artist, Michelle, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Folks, this is your Captain speaking. We're going to have to divert the plane, as it has come to our attention that there are more passengers on the plane than listed on the manifest [Sappy]

Wednesday 10 December 2:18:56 UTC 2014

Sappy [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » $2 gas is the worst thing to happen to America [Interesting]

Wednesday 10 December 2:11:15 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [271 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Arizona man hires scuba diver to find expensive fishing lure lost in Arizona lake. Not only did he find the lure, he also found a digital camera lost in 2013, and was able to locate the camera's owner. Story still developing [Interesting]

Wednesday 10 December 1:45:52 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man suspected of 10th DUI blames it on beer battered fish. What a crappie excuse [Unlikely]

Wednesday 10 December 1:04:09 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this bench and its occupant [Photoshop]

Wednesday 10 December 1:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How One Woman's Discovery Shook the Foundations of Geology

Wednesday 10 December 0:39:38 UTC 2014

Without ever setting sail, Marie Tharp mapped the ocean floor and made a discovery that shook the foundations of geology. So why did the giants of her field dismiss her findings as “girl talk"? [Link]

Mental Floss » 25 Hair-Raising Facts About Hair

Wednesday 10 December 0:39:17 UTC 2014

This week’s special episode of the List Show is the first in a new series we’re creating with Head & Shoulders about The World’s Smartest Hair. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Arrests made after twin sisters got into a fight over a vibrator [Florida]

Wednesday 10 December 0:33:07 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 5PM That’s a Wrap

Wednesday 10 December 0:27:15 UTC 2014

Accountant: Who do you have to sleep with around here to get fired? 401 Church Street
Nashville, Tennessee [Link]

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