Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Whiskey lovers are discovering the emerging world of Tasmania's liquid gold. It'll spin you around like a whirlwind, but it's a devil of hangover [Cool]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Thirty Bucks– You Like?
Coworker, loudly across office: Hey Jon*, how much did it cost you to get your balls drilled out?Louisville, Kentucky [Link]
FMyLife » fuckered519 says FML
Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his god-damn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML [Link]
FMyLife » newly passed, newly grassed says FML
Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Red Cross: When we said "We're very proud of the fact that 91 cents of every dollar that's donated goes to our services," it wasn't intended to be a factual statement [Fail]
[link] [102 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Why are Americans workaholics? I've got an idea, but I'll have to get back to you – I've got to take this conference call while I eat my lunch [Obvious]
[link] [216 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Only 5% of NYC cops turn in 40% of "resisting arrest" cases, apparently being unusually attracted toward interacting with overweight unhealthy minorities selling cigarettes [Interesting]
[link] [136 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this photo shot at a wedding photoshoot [Photoshop]
[link] [11 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » graciegold95 says FML
Today, my daughter decided it'd be funny to change the time on my clock. My boss didn't think it was funny. FML [Link]
FMyLife » ring-a-ding-ding says FML
Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man accused of swapping his shiatty furniture with that of his neighbors while they were away. Of course, alcohol was involved [Dumbass]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Finally, something worth asking Santa for [Cool]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Foreclosure auctions are a good way to pick up historic gargoyles cheap [PSA]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ah yes, I remember. I had the lasagna [Scary]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A list of the 15 best beers to drink this winter. Or if you lived at the equator a list of the 15 best beers to drink all year round [Spiffy]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 20 of Steven Wright's Funniest Jokes For His 59th Birthday
Steven Wright once supposedly said, "I intend to live forever. So far, so good." [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Dear Prudence: I am nervous about Christmas this year because my husband is a terrible gift giver. And since a person shows how much they love you by the quality of gifts, if he gives me a bad gift I may divorce him. Is that normal?" [Dumbas
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Fark.com RSS » Moose killed while Christmas shopping [Sad]
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Fark.com RSS » LA Times reports increase in hit-and-runs involving bicyclists hit by cars. Let's see how concerned their readers are [Obvious]
[link] [293 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman who lost her parents in a plane crash in 1959 gets the surprise of a lifetime after a hiker found her mother's wedding ring in a tree and kept it safe until she could be tracked down. Alright, who forgot to dust in here today? [Sappy]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Michelle says FML
Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML [Link]
FMyLife » sting says FML
Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bored with its native dangerous animal selection, Australia starts importing exciting new varieties from overseas [Scary]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » For decades, a group of men with intellectual disabilities seemed happy living in a small Iowa town. Then their neighbors found out the truth [Video]
[link] [116 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Barbie’s Lifetime Résumé
After over half a century as a job-hopping career woman, Barbie has quite the impressive résumé behind her. * An impressively comprehensive infographic lays out some of the most popular published books of all time, ranging from religious texts and fairy tales to The Very Hungry Caterpillar. * The latest Beatles conspiracy theory posits that the record-setting rock band who … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Top chefs predict culinary trends of 2015. IN: sustainability, healthful kid's menus, local sourcing of meat and produce. OUT: kale salads, nose-to-tail, gluten-free. OVER: insects, foam/froth/air, gazpacho, bacon-flavored/covered chocolate [Obvi
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Fark.com RSS » Unemployed dad who's just trying to buy his kids some Christmas presents realizes pity is for the weak after trying to sell himself on eBay [Obvious]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Court rules that chimpanzees are damned dirty apes [Obvious]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Belgium seeks to have potato fries declared cultural heritage. Please don't call them French [Interesting]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » LEGO Battle of Hoth
In The Empire Strikes Back, the Battle of Hoth was a major defeat for the Rebel Alliance and a great victory for kids like me, who recreated it using stuffed animals, some twine, and a lot of imagination. Filmmaker Kévin Ziolkowski decided to recreate the battle using LEGO sets, in what's called a "brickfilm." He uses LEGO AT-AT walkers, LEGO … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sword for sale. From the 1700s. Might be haunted [Weird]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop anonymous and his ginger neckbeard cohort [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Flashcube!
I remember when Flashcube and I protested the war at the Pentagon, dropped acid with Timothy Leary, and saw the Grateful Dead at Fillmore West. What an integral part of that decade he was! [Link]
Weird Universe » Unrequited Love
I assume this pick-up technique didn't work for Saturnius Villaflor.
Source: The Cuba Patriot – Nov 28, 1935 [Link]
Overheard In The Office » He Should Have Said “My Stupid Self”
Manager #1: Here’s your stupid file, because your stupid student workers didn’t stupid-finish the stupid work on the stupid contract, so I had to stupid-do it myself.Manager #2: Heh, pretty gay, right there.Student worker: Bill*, come on… He’s just so proud when he learns a new word.6100 Main Street
Houston, TexasOverheard by: ninjacles [Link]
Overheard In The Office » At Last, An RDA Is Established for Cookies
Drone #1: I am trying really hard to stay away from these cookies on my desk.Drone #2: Oh my God, tell me about it. Those cookies are GOOD.Drone #1: Maybe if I look at how many calories they have, it’ll be easier to stay away. One cookie, 120 calories.Drone #3: Well, how many calories are you supposed to have?Drone #1: … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …Didn't You See My “Medical Marvels” Special on TLC?
Trainee#1: I'm just kissing your ass!Trainee#2: You picked the wrong ass to kiss. My ass can't do shit!Ellensburg, Washington [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Well There's No Need to Get Testy.
Colleague: How long do you think you'll be?Female colleague: We've just gotta pick up our balls and then we'll come back.Melbourne
AustraliaOverheard by: confused but amused [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I’d Say That’s True of Anyone in Nebraska
White clerk to black clerk: What are you doing over in these parts? Slummin’?1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, NebraskaOverheard by: Doug’s Mom [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 4PM Beta Testing
Customer: You know we try to idiot-proof everything around here, but God keeps making smarter idiots. 500 Hertzog Boulevard
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Sleeping Around Requires Intensive Planning and Dedication
Coworker #1, introducing coworker #2: His favorite thing to do on the weekend is to be loose.Coworker #2: Lazy, not loose!Broadway & Canal
New York City, New YorkOverheard by: office peon loves her new job [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Mr. T: I Pity the Baby Who Tries to Break Out Of There!
Boss to intern: Oh, you're from Kentucky! Is there anything important there?Kentucky-born intern: Uh, the gold vault.Boss: (blank stare)Kentucky-born intern: You know, Fort Knox.Boss: Oh, yeah! That's where they get the saying “She's locked up tighter than Fort Knox!”Virginia Beach, Virginia [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Family moving to Hawaii from Virginia planned to have the cat stay behind with relatives. Memeow had other plans… Discovered just in time (for Caturday) [Caturday]
[link] [680 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 2PM Reports Due
Suit #1: Hey, I can’t believe you actually remembered to take care of it.
Suit #2: Why? I have a great memory. I can’t remember the last time I forgot something. 3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Civilian Navy engineer charged for attempting to steal, pass schematics of USS Gerald R. Ford to Egypt. Why anyone would want a ship that will be eaten by wolves is anyone's guess [Fail]
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Fark.com RSS » Some dildo shut down San Diego Federal Courthouse [Amusing]
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Fark.com RSS » I have no idea what you're talking about so here's a picture of some orphaned baby bats swaddled up like burritos [Sappy]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hunters decide the best place to bag a few gators is a wildlife refuge [Florida]
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FMyLife » hh says FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Dani says FML
Today, I woke up feeling awful and decided to make myself a nice egg omelette with bacon, toast and fresh fruit. As I went to eat it, I stubbed my toe and dropped it all on the floor. My dogs were very happy about that. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Caption these three cheerleaders [Caption]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » National Geographic documentary claims the nation's lack of sleep is causing health problems. Doctors immediately recommend watching additional National Geographic documentaries [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » News: Man robs a shop owner. Fark: By hypnotizing the shop owner into a trance and then going through his pockets to look for money [Weird]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Massachusetts joins the rest of America and allows gas nozzles to latch in the on position [Spiffy]
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Are you a gun collector? If you've always wanted to own the gun that was used to shoot Governor George Wallace, today is your lucky day [Misc]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Artistic License
Artist Donald Evans spent his life painting the postage stamps of nonexistent countries. “The stamps are a kind of diary or journal,” he said. “It’s vicarious traveling for me to a made-up world that I like better than the one that I’m in.” “On little paper rectangles he painted precise transcriptions of his life,” wrote Willy Eisenhart in The World … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The 17 most American things you can buy at Walmart. Put together some cheese balls by the barrel, a beef jerky gun and the 'Darth Vader taking a selfie with an iPhone 4′ t-shirt and you've got yourself a weekend [Amusing]
[link] [99 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » M-m-m-m… Peanut butter and bacon flavored Pop-tarts [Cool]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Tech Innovations That Make Hosting a Holiday Party a Breeze
Throwing a giant holiday shindig doesn’t have to be stressful. Harness the power of smart technology and you’ll be able to give your guests your full attention. 1. Belkin WeMo Switch; $39.98 
This handy gadget lets you control your electronics with your tablet or phone. Plug the device into an outlet and then plug your desired electronic device into the … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » It's Right in the Taft-Hartley Act
Manager: It doesn't matter.Clerk: Sorry, but my union guaranteed ass-covering requires that you specifically define “it.”Pearl, MississippiOverheard by: Brain Dancing [Link]
Overheard In The Office » A Little Cerebral, Though
Suit: I don’t like movies with subtitles. You spend all your time reading instead of watching the movie.Lady suit: Uh-huh.Suit: Oh, I saw Wild Hogs this weekend. It was a hoot.7 Hanover Square
New York, New York [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And She Was Rockin' the Raccoon Eye Makeup
Male worker: She's off, her mother just died.Female worker: Yeah, her hair looked great today.Deli
New JerseyOverheard by: waiting in line [Link]
Overheard In The Office » But This Is a Manure Company!
CSR #1, complaining about trainee: All this guy keeps saying is “I'm a senior engineer; I already know what I'm doing,” and flat out refuses to listen to what I'm telling him. I mean, it's just a title, guy. Stop being a dick.CSR #2: Oh, yeah? Well I'm a customer service representative. I don't represent shit!Chesapeake, Virginia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Do I Need to Explain “Humpday” to You Again?
HR: So maybe I can do all three of you in the morning.Marlborough, Massachusetts [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Yeah, It Was on Your Resumé
Cube dweller: Did I ever tell you about my paranoia with wind instruments?Spring Hill Road
Vienna, VirginiaOverheard by: Cubie Cal [Link]
Fark.com RSS » She attempted to boil, bake and cook the man's body in an attempt to dispose of the remains [Followup]
[link] [76 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Grappling with a drunk zebra is not the easiest thing in the world" [Dumbass]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Third grade math test: If your teacher hit two cars and two houses on her way to school, how drunk was she? Must show work [Dumbass]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » … Which Peter in Accounting Then Buys from Us. [We Don’t Ask.]
New intern taking tour of company warehouse: So, you said that we have a lifetime guarantee on all the clothes that we send out?Warehouse manager: Oh, yeah, we guarantee all our merchandise. We’ll even return underwear that’s been soiled.Plainfield, Indiana [Link]
Mental Floss » The 'Friends' Episode Where the Girls Lose the Apartment
Can you answer the quiz questions from the episode where the girls lost their apartment? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two-year-old boy wins world record for lowest body core temperature (54F), after surviving hours outside in freezing temps while wearing only his PJs [Scary]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Graffiti artist creates murals that are also awesome anamorphic illusions [Cool]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Thank Goodness This Office Supports a Woman's Right to Achoos.
Cubicle girl: I do believe that while sneezing I strained my uterus.Melville, New York [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Wild Ideas That Used to be Science
This story originally appeared in print in the December 2014 issue of mental_floss magazine. Subscribe to our print edition here, and our iPad edition here. 1. PHLOGISTON In 1669, alchemist Johann Joachim Becher proposed that fire was caused by an element called phlogiston. Anything you could set alight, he claimed, contained this substance and the only way … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Are you a horse-loving bearded clown with celiac disease who captains a sea vessel? Great, then this is for you [Silly]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Originally in San Francisco, but Then Rewrite Got a Hold of It
Director: So what city was Beverly Hills Cop set in?444 North 44th Street
Phoenix, Arizona [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rolling Stone's UVA-fraternity-gang-rape "exposé" exposes the magazine and college administrators to nice fat libel lawsuits [Followup]
[link] [330 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Retouched portrait of Schwarzenegger hung in California capitol. Onlookers remarked "Hey, remember when Arnold Schwarzenegger was the f*cking governor of California?" and "Yeah, LOL WTF?" [Spiffy]
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Fark.com RSS » Buttons with extra holes let you spell out messages on your clothing – if that's something you'd want to do [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » Remember that whooping cough outbreak this year? Yeah, get used to that [Scary]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientists, can we get a confirmation on whether this is a new species of cat that is roaming the streets of the Bulgarian city of Varna? [Weird]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this meeter and greeter [Photoshop]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » These people have found a way to make having a few beers and listening to live music suck [Obvious]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » quickit says FML
Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » NYC Insects Eat a Lot of Food Waste
According to new research by scientists at NC State University, insects and other arthropods play a major role in getting rid of New York City's trash: Assuming that bugs take a break in the winter, scientists calculated that the critters on the medians along 150 blocks in the Broadway/West Street corridor can consume more than 2100 pounds of discarded junk … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fire reported at water treatment plant. If only there were some resource available to help [Ironic]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
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