John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Congress wants to eliminate penis pumps from Medicare coverage. Austin Powers relieved to be covered by NHS, because that sort of thing IS his bag, baby [Strange]

Tuesday 2 December 23:23:03 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 6 Barnyard Animals and How They Came to Be

Tuesday 2 December 22:30:00 UTC 2014

This story originally appeared in print in the December 2014 issue of mental_floss magazine. Subscribe to our print edition here, and our iPad edition here. 1. CHICKENS Nearly 10,000 years ago, roosters and hens were creatures to be feared. Wild junglefowl prowled the bamboo forests of Southeast Asia, and the birds were anything but chicken. They fought pythons, attacked … [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Pop Culture Cookbooks

Tuesday 2 December 22:19:09 UTC 2014

Everyone could use a cookbook. Experienced cooks are always looking for something new to try, and beginner cooks can use step-by-step instructions. But you want to give a gift that’s special and meaningful to someone you love! You can combine the utility of a cookbook with the personal touch of your loved one’s favorite book, movie, or TV show with … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you only have a few days to live, might as well spend it scarfing down burgers, partying with firefighters, and licking your own butt [Sappy]

Tuesday 2 December 21:45:42 UTC 2014

Sappy [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Things you don't want photobombing your surfing competition? This shark [Cool]

Tuesday 2 December 21:29:40 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » DNA Evidence Casts Doubt on Richard III's Claim to the Throne

Tuesday 2 December 21:23:47 UTC 2014

But that was almost definitely his body they found under that parking lot. [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Explaining the Old-Timey Speech in Old Movies

Tuesday 2 December 21:23:46 UTC 2014

Why did people in old movies speak in such an odd, old-timey kind of way? Here’s why. * How many of these 80 games from around the world have you played? * These cities were designed and built specifically to be bombed. * The first scene from Better Call Saul has been released and it features Breaking Bad’s best fixer, … [Link]

FMyLife » braceforcarnage says FML

Tuesday 2 December 21:22:21 UTC 2014

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you've seen one industrial disaster, you've seen Bhopal (some images may be disturbing) [Sad]

Tuesday 2 December 21:07:30 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The last person left in Detroit actually did turn off the lights [Fail]

Tuesday 2 December 21:05:42 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Looks like Richard III may have been a literal as well as a figurative bastard [Interesting]

Tuesday 2 December 21:04:08 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this cat in a box [Photoshop]

Tuesday 2 December 21:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » You Can Now Buy a TSA Body Scanner on eBay!

Tuesday 2 December 21:00:00 UTC 2014

What do you buy the person who has everything? A TSA body scanner from eBay! (Photo: eBay) Have a shady neighbor? Don’t trust your delinquent nephew? Now you can scan them for weapons before they enter your home. For just $7,995, you can buy your very own Rapiscan Secure 1000 SP Backscatter Body Scanner X-Ray machine on eBay. Look familiar? … [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Pizza Hut ‘Subconscious’ Menu Aims To Read Diners’ Minds, Guess Toppings

Tuesday 2 December 20:58:27 UTC 2014

Pizza Hut is developing a “subconscious” pizza menu based on eye-tracking technology that works by showing diners a selection of toppings, measuring how much time their eyes linger on specific ingredients, and then generating a pizza the perso…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » UK school nannies: You can have your Nativity play long as Joseph the patriarchal oppressor isn't there, the three wise men are lesbian atheists, and Mary gives birth via IVF to a Jesus, a Muhammad and a Ganesh or two [Obvious]

Tuesday 2 December 20:41:18 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ah, the joys of a long vacation: stop reading email, turn off your phone, ignore the cries of all the people who thought you were going to pay them before you left [Dumbass]

Tuesday 2 December 20:25:43 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Check out these pictures from 1989 of the mall where you bought the mower you used to cut the lawn you now tell those damn kids to get off of [Cool]

Tuesday 2 December 20:20:22 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [247 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You mean to tell me in America I'm going to be banned from using a drone to track and maybe even shoot a deer? What happened to our RIGHTS? [Amusing]

Tuesday 2 December 20:15:55 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Obscure Literary Devices

Tuesday 2 December 20:00:00 UTC 2014

Metaphor. Foreshadowing. Boy wizards. Most of us know the common elements of fiction. But there’s an endless supply of devices authors use to augment their work, including some that demand such a high degree of difficulty that they’re rarely employed. We’re betting you haven’t seen these techniques in recent bestsellers—though they might’ve been more interesting if you had. 1. The … [Link]

The Onion » New Express Transplant List Offers Patients Kidney Or First Available Organ

Tuesday 2 December 19:51:00 UTC 2014

WASHINGTON—In an effort to shorten the wait time for dialysis patients in need of a donor, the Department of Health and Human Services this week opened a new express transplant list to the public that matches candidates with either a kidney or any o…
[Link]

The Onion » Father-In-Law Think Tank Issues Comprehensive One-Sentence Solution To Immigration, Unemployment, Crime Problems

Tuesday 2 December 19:42:00 UTC 2014

WASHINGTON—In its most sweeping policy statement to date, a Washington-based think tank of leading fathers-in-law issued a comprehensive single-sentence solution to the nation’s immigration, unemployment, and crime problems Tuesday.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Judge who coined the phrase "indict a ham sandwich" was actually a ham sandwich [Ironic]

Tuesday 2 December 19:41:45 UTC 2014

Ironic [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Construction worker caught pouring his special concrete mix (contains heavily-pixelated not-safe-for-workness) [Sick]

Tuesday 2 December 19:33:20 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cruise ship diners toss their lobsters overboard in an attempt to save them [Interesting]

Tuesday 2 December 19:33:04 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Because Americans do everything better, Colorado is now the biggest exporter of illegal pot to Mexico due to its consistently high quality [Spiffy]

Tuesday 2 December 19:16:09 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Gossip From a Declassified 1955 CIA Spy Report Of a Soviet Cocktail Party

Tuesday 2 December 19:00:00 UTC 2014

On June 3rd, 1955, a goodbye party was held in Sweden. It was bittersweet, as these kinds of affairs always are, and folks drank and reminisced as usual. However, after everyone shared their goodbyes and adjös, this particular get-together became the subject of a classified CIA report. You see, the soiree was thrown for a high-ranking Soviet official at the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The UK just banned a bunch of interactions between taxi drivers and passengers, here's a maybe not safe for work list of these acts [Stupid]

Tuesday 2 December 18:40:26 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [126 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » In a Word

Tuesday 2 December 18:01:53 UTC 2014

acetarious
adj. used in salads [Link]

Mental Floss » One-Word Movies (A-Z)

Tuesday 2 December 18:00:00 UTC 2014

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Yes, I'd like a mocha soy latte frappe pulled from Thor's left eyebrow, please' [Strange]

Tuesday 2 December 17:26:58 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why did Disney block God? Is Mickey Mouse a pawn of Satan? I'm just asking questions here [Stupid]

Tuesday 2 December 17:19:48 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [254 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canadians warned to leave Afghanistan because of spreading violence. Afghanistan is a dangerous place, who knew? [Obvious]

Tuesday 2 December 17:05:37 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [17 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Scientists Developing Marijuana Breathalyzer To Catch Stoned Drivers

Tuesday 2 December 16:58:00 UTC 2014

Researchers at Washington State University are reportedly developing a breathalyzer test to identify drivers who are high on marijuana, which would measure the presence of THC in someone’s breath to give police a “higher level of confidence in…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Of course the US is behind the Ebola outbreak in West Africa, Mr. Kim Jong-un [Unlikely]

Tuesday 2 December 16:57:21 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [35 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Opinion: There’s No Use Worrying Over Things The Parasitic Alien Lifeforms Living Inside Us Can’t Control (by Kenneth Reimann)

Tuesday 2 December 16:48:00 UTC 2014

By Kenneth Reimann
[Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: "Shop" Around

Tuesday 2 December 16:46:00 UTC 2014

[Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Innovative Gifts for World Travelers

Tuesday 2 December 16:45:54 UTC 2014

Pick up one of these tech-savvy gifts for your favorite jet setter and help them streamline their journey, capture their memories, or relive their experience—leaving them more time to enjoy their next adventure. 1. RHA Headphones; $119.95 These premium stainless steel ear buds provide the benefits of noise isolation without the bulk of big headphones. Keep the noise of your … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man decides to shine his laser pointer into the cockpit of a police helicopter, seems surprised when cops show up to arrest him [Florida]

Tuesday 2 December 16:32:19 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 21 Phrases You Use Without Realizing You’re Quoting Shakespeare

Tuesday 2 December 16:30:00 UTC 2014

William Shakespeare devised new words and countless plot tropes that still appear in everyday life. Famous quotes from his plays are easily recognizable; phrases like “To be or not to be,” “wherefore art thou Romeo,” and “et tu, Brute?” instantly evoke images of wooden stages and Elizabethan costumes. But an incredible number of lines from his plays have become so … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Consider this a warning: If you attack Obama's teen-aged daughters in this timeline, he will have you arrested as a teenager in a previous timeline. Clearly, he has no respect for the Temporal Prime Directive [Followup]

Tuesday 2 December 16:25:09 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [417 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Let's visit the most dangerous school in Texas, where teachers carry concealed firearms "just in case" [Scary]

Tuesday 2 December 16:22:23 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [195 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Trust me, I know she's darker than you but it's definitely your baby." Ten years later – "Ooops" [Fail]

Tuesday 2 December 16:21:21 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [93 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » peceout says FML

Tuesday 2 December 16:18:37 UTC 2014

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML [Link]

The Onion » CIA Admits Role In 1985 Coup To Oust David Lee Roth

Tuesday 2 December 16:07:00 UTC 2014

LANGLEY, VA—Shedding new light on a tumultuous period of upheaval that dominated international headlines nearly 30 years ago, the U.S.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mystery Monkey 2: "At first I thought it was a cheetah. It was that color, with a long tail. Then, I said, 'Wait a minute, that's a freakin' monkey'" [Florida]

Tuesday 2 December 15:57:30 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Attention please, hibernation will terminate as we near Pluto [Cool]

Tuesday 2 December 15:53:44 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The origin story behind the sport of bungee jumping is much more complicated than you would have ever thought [Interesting]

Tuesday 2 December 15:46:00 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [30 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Your Horoscopes — Week Of December 2, 2014

Tuesday 2 December 15:31:00 UTC 2014

ARIES: You're sick and tired of being treated like a child, except for the sexy parts where they change your dirty, filthy diapers.
[Link]

FMyLife » xmassmasher says FML

Tuesday 2 December 15:27:11 UTC 2014

Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML [Link]

The Onion » Report: More Americans Setting Aside Money In Case Of PR Emergency

Tuesday 2 December 15:26:00 UTC 2014

COLLEGE PARK, MD—Indicating a trend toward greater financial preparedness, a report released Tuesday by the University of Maryland found that a growing number of Americans are setting aside money in case of a public relations emergency.
[Link]

The Onion » Pope Francis Attends Outdoor Mass In Cutoff Denim Vestments

Tuesday 2 December 15:24:00 UTC 2014

Pope Francis Attends Outdoor Mass In Cutoff Denim Vestments
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stop. The. Press. Britain's biggest crisp stuns news room [Amusing]

Tuesday 2 December 15:22:33 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jurassic Park will soon be a reality, as we have the technology to bring back extinct animals. Though Slate reminds us that this is a bad idea [Cool]

Tuesday 2 December 15:20:11 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canadian family lived with man's dead body for six months as they prayed for resurrection. Didn't work [Obvious]

Tuesday 2 December 15:00:21 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [118 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Does the Scent of Blood Attract Carnivores?

Tuesday 2 December 15:00:00 UTC 2014

Blood has a pretty distinct smell, but its ability to draw carnivorous animals is often overblown. Sharks, for example, can’t actually detect a single drop of blood in the ocean from miles away (in certain conditions, the best they can do is sniff out blood at one part per million). And, while we're at it, bears aren't attracted to menstruating … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It took almost 70 years, but art museum experts in Japan have finally recreated copy of Vincent van Gogh's "Sunflowers" that was incinerated in American air raid [Misc]

Tuesday 2 December 14:57:20 UTC 2014

Misc [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fool me once, shame on me: Un-installing Tinder from your smartphone in front of your wife. Fooling none of the 1,199 commenters: then promptly activating the phone's passcode feature [Obvious]

Tuesday 2 December 14:34:26 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [222 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » "Sybil" and the History of Multiple Personality Disorder

Tuesday 2 December 14:30:00 UTC 2014

In the 1970s, a patient known as "Sybil" was the focus of a popular book exploring a condition then called Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD). While cases of MPD had been described previously, Sybil was special because she reportedly had 16 distinct personalities. The book was a hit, as was the TV movie made a few years later (as if that … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The 999 emergency number is not your personal phone erotica outlet [Dumbass]

Tuesday 2 December 14:18:51 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Honey Boo Boo star selling potion that she claims will prevent Ebola. No word on whether it is made of the excretions of Mama June [Fail]

Tuesday 2 December 14:03:15 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [142 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this messenger [Photoshop]

Tuesday 2 December 14:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Animals Named After The Noises They Make

Tuesday 2 December 13:47:16 UTC 2014

If you were asked to name an onomatopoeic word, then you’d probably come up with something like boom, boing, whizz, smash, or tick-tock. They’re all perfectly good examples, of course, but onomatopoeia is actually responsible for a lot more words than you might think. For instance, etymologists believe that pebble might have been coined to imitate the sound of a … [Link]

FMyLife » justagirl says FML

Tuesday 2 December 13:46:19 UTC 2014

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML [Link]

FMyLife » notmycircus says FML

Tuesday 2 December 13:46:18 UTC 2014

Today, the school counselor asked me to leave the grief counseling group for the death of my sister. Apparently, I scare the others. FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Nowhere Near “Jews for Jesus” Level, Though

Tuesday 2 December 13:46:17 UTC 2014

IT guy to another: Gay Republicans are a little more weird than Gary*.Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California [Link]

Overheard In The Office » And Be Grateful I Don't Ask You to Travel Back in Time

Tuesday 2 December 13:46:16 UTC 2014

Officer: Immediately!Intern: Like now, immediately?San Diego, California [Link]

Overheard In The Office » The DVD Is Selling Very Well

Tuesday 2 December 13:46:15 UTC 2014

Nurse to another nurse: So that’s how you get all those huge objects in your happy hole!1600 SW Archer Road
Gainesville, FloridaOverheard by: SuperClerk [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Yes… Yes… You’ll Understand Why When You Meet Him

Tuesday 2 December 13:46:14 UTC 2014

CSR on phone: So, we’ve set you an appointment with the specialist. His name is Allen*… and Allen is a guy.Atlanta, Georgia [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Hasn't the Constitution Been Altered Enough?

Tuesday 2 December 13:46:13 UTC 2014

Creative director: I think we need to remove the word “chillax.”Ontario
Canadia [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 2PM PR Meeting

Tuesday 2 December 13:46:12 UTC 2014

Boss on speaker: Okay then, I’ll be over in about 30 minutes to look at what you’ve got for me.
Media person: Great, we’ll see you then.
Boss on speaker: …Great, now I have one more fucking thing to do today…Fuck…
Media person: Um…You’re still on speakerphone, buddy. 1901 North Shoreline Boulevard
Corpus Christi, Texas Overheard by: The lowly intern … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trial run of Ebola vaccine has so far produced only mild side effects. Well, I guess compared to bleeding out of your everything, any side effect is considered mild [Followup]

Tuesday 2 December 13:39:54 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drug-sniffing dog snorts cocaine during bust [Ironic]

Tuesday 2 December 13:32:11 UTC 2014

Ironic [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Barbecue Salad

Tuesday 2 December 13:31:38 UTC 2014

Perhaps this would taste good. But without having tried it, the idea of tomato jello just doesn't sound appealing to me.

However, here's a person who's actually made the stuff!

[Link]

Overheard In The Office » …As Long As You Collect It in Person

Tuesday 2 December 13:29:24 UTC 2014

Suit #1: We’re introducing a great new investment product.Suit #2: Oh yeah. Features?Suit #1: Well, if you die before it matures, you get your money back.Wellington Street
Toronto
Canadia [Link]

FMyLife » ShadowReiku says FML

Tuesday 2 December 13:11:00 UTC 2014

Today, I discovered that the reason the phone I've had for a year takes such terrible and cloudy pictures is because I never took the plastic coating off the lens. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stephen Hawking would like to play a Bond villain, or at least get painted gold and wear a sexy bikini [Sappy]

Tuesday 2 December 12:59:19 UTC 2014

Sappy [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » St. Louis County Police Chief Jon Belmar: "Rams called and apologized" Rams: "Ah, no we didn't" St. Louis Police: **pouts… stomps feet… runs to twitter** [Stupid]

Tuesday 2 December 12:59:11 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [519 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » If America Dies…

Tuesday 2 December 12:53:29 UTC 2014

Not exactly a question I had ever previously thought to ask.

Original ad here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study: Women with more male friends have more sex [Obvious]

Tuesday 2 December 12:48:49 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [61 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » mr1234 says FML

Tuesday 2 December 12:31:48 UTC 2014

Today, it's either be alone and miserable, or go on shitty dates and be miserable. I have no other options. FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » British Bureaucracy Conquered the World and Returned It In Response to Written Requests

Tuesday 2 December 12:25:02 UTC 2014

Peon #1: Alison just asked me how we get a washing-up brush for the kitchen.Peon #2: I have put a request through CAFM, so hopefully they will order one for us.Peon #1: Can you order a little holder for it, too?Peon #2: Hmmmm, I will put a request in and see what facilities say.Peon #1: Thanks!Peon #2: Sorry, but what will … [Link]

Mental Floss » Microsoft Is Shutting Down Clip Art

Tuesday 2 December 12:00:00 UTC 2014

Going the way of chalkboards and VHS players, Microsoft's Clip Art library is now a thing of the past. As of yesterday, the image gallery was shut down permanently in response to dwindling usage. Heartbreakingly, future generations will never sift through countless pages of '90s style illustrations to find the perfect picture for their book reports. Today's internet-savvy children are … [Link]

Mental Floss » "Shop" Around

Tuesday 2 December 11:53:00 UTC 2014

[Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 2 December 11:44:27 UTC 2014

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: DIY Spaceflight

Tuesday 2 December 11:00:26 UTC 2014

A brief history of DIY spaceflight. Throughout history, people have been convinced they could do a better job -and sometimes they were right.
*
The worst TV of 2014. The year-end lists are starting; we may as well get the bad stuff out of the way first.
*
The clothing company Shinesty recently unveiled a new line of men’s suits based … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Discipline is lax at the Scalp household

Tuesday 2 December 10:21:11 UTC 2014

Coworker #1: Hey, you're letting you hair grow!Coworker #2: I'm not letting it… it just is!Manhattan, New YorkOverheard by: Chris [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want to make NYC commuter rush hour even worse? Just have your MTA computers accidentally block 10,000 MetroCards for "insufficient funds" [Fail]

Tuesday 2 December 9:48:53 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Worried about your carry-on not fitting in the overhead compartment this holiday season? Don't, because the U.S. and U.K. are about to ban all carry-on luggage, because terrorism [Scary]

Tuesday 2 December 9:32:00 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [163 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The World's 100 Highest Paid Athletes

Tuesday 2 December 8:58:35 UTC 2014

If you haven't seen the Forbes list on which this chart was based, then the name attached to the tallest bar might surprise you. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » HIV is gradually evolving into a less deadly, less infectious virus [Interesting]

Tuesday 2 December 8:11:00 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drinking doesn't make you an a-hole. Drinking and texting during a movie makes you an a-hole. Complete with a taser and mugshot goodness [Dumbass]

Tuesday 2 December 7:46:00 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [41 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Silverfeathery says FML

Tuesday 2 December 6:41:17 UTC 2014

Today, during a moment of silence in front of the entire high school during my band concert, I managed to hit the stand with my flute, and loudly scrambled to catch it before it fell over. I've never had so many people look at me. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida man shoves 6.5 pounds of cow tongue down his pants and leaves Walmart without paying. Moove along, nothing to see here [Florida]

Tuesday 2 December 6:33:00 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well it seems like there is a such thing as explosive firewood [Scary]

Tuesday 2 December 6:22:00 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Maillardet’s Automaton

Tuesday 2 December 6:05:01 UTC 2014

Martin Scorsese’s film Hugo was inspired by a real event. In 1928 Philadelphia’s Franklin Institute received the remains of an 18th-century brass automaton that had been damaged in a fire. It had been donated by the descendants of wealthy manufacturer John Penn Brock; they knew it had been acquired in France and supposed it to be the work of the … [Link]

Mental Floss » 16 Holiday Life Hacks

Tuesday 2 December 5:30:43 UTC 2014

In this week’s episode, John Green tests a number of holiday-themed life hacks we found on the Internet. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There needs to be a way that you can spend two dollars to take away one pledged dollar on Kickstarter [Asinine]

Tuesday 2 December 5:21:00 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is there anybody out there that you really don't like but are still obligated to provide a present to? Well, here is your list of the worst presents available [Weird]

Tuesday 2 December 4:12:24 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida goes nine consecutive hurricane seasons without a single hit [Florida]

Tuesday 2 December 3:48:35 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [70 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 2 December 1:48:00 UTC 2014

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML [Link]

FMyLife » WickedLittleDoll says FML

Tuesday 2 December 1:47:59 UTC 2014

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Baby got back, but grandma got guns (language toward the end might be awkward for work) [Spiffy]

Tuesday 2 December 1:46:42 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Now I Just Work, Go Home, and Cry Myself to Sleep

Tuesday 2 December 1:45:13 UTC 2014

Girl: I gave up dick for lent.Jericho, New York [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I Get a Big Raise Every Year, Though

Tuesday 2 December 1:45:12 UTC 2014

Coworker to colleague: It's so embarrassing…I have to use my teeth.Tempe, Arizona [Link]

Overheard In The Office » That’s When I Remember I Have Super Powers

Tuesday 2 December 1:45:11 UTC 2014

Guy: This is about the time where I start feeling… not right. Like there’s something flowing through my body other than blood.Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Is It Possible Semen Doesn’t Cure Gingivitis, Either?

Tuesday 2 December 1:45:10 UTC 2014

Lady coworker #1 reading a website: Here it says, ‘Sleep is the best cure for a headache.’Lady coworker #2: My boyfriend always says sex is the best cure for a headache… He’s lying to me!University of Münster
Germany [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Would a Labor Union Help Wal-Mart Employees? Discuss.

Tuesday 2 December 1:45:09 UTC 2014

Employee #1: The heater is on fire! Can you call a manager?Employee #2, with radio: Uh-uh. I'm on break.Wal-Mart
California [Link]

Overheard In The Office » We May Have to Drop the Three Stooges Training Films

Tuesday 2 December 1:45:08 UTC 2014

Inspector: We were in the middle of the health and safety conference, and a fire broke out in the lift.Call center girl: Really? My god! What happened?!Inspector: Everyone started to run, but the hallway was really narrow so we got stuck.Call center girl: Oh my god, what happened?!Inspector: The fire brigade just opened the fire doors in the conference room. Mr. … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » But It's Clean and It Rhymes With “Celebrated”

Tuesday 2 December 1:45:07 UTC 2014

Worker #1: Can you sign Louise's birthday card?Worker #2 (reading card): You know, “decapitated” is one of those words that never looks like it's spelled right.Chevy Chase Building
Austin, TexasOverheard by: Xen [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why Charles Barkley does not think the Ferguson decision was all that turrible [Interesting]

Tuesday 2 December 1:38:44 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [299 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Work Study: Boone Smith, Professional Cat Handler

Tuesday 2 December 1:30:00 UTC 2014

Professional cat handler Boone Smith spends his days catching the biggest felines in the world for our safety—and theirs. My grandpa was a bounty hunter. In the 1960s, there was a bounty on mountain lions and bears. When there were problems with mountain lions, people would call him to catch them. It wasn’t uncommon to have a mountain lion in … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Top six mistakes you make in making homemade marinara sauce, and how you correct them. Mamma mia [Spiffy]

Tuesday 2 December 1:24:42 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you've ever felt the insatiable need to hear The Count counting the digits of Pi to 10,000 decimal places, you're weird. Also, here you go [Strange]

Tuesday 2 December 1:10:49 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Every Office Employs Someone Who Neither Reads Nor Watches TV

Tuesday 2 December 1:08:43 UTC 2014

Oblivious coworker: Yeah, those Australians are always doing that crazy stuff.Coworker: They wrestle kangaroos, too.Oblivious coworker: Wait! Are kangaroos real?Chicago, Illinois [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this very strange day at the beach [Photoshop]

Tuesday 2 December 1:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jack and Jeanette just moved from Hawaii to Kansas. Let's see how long they can survive a mid-west winter. "The biggest shock is having to take 20 minutes to get dressed just to get out of the house" [Unlikely]

Tuesday 2 December 0:03:46 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [158 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 3PM Smoke Break

Tuesday 2 December 0:03:34 UTC 2014

Jr. Developer: What we need is an alien invasion.
Deveveloper #11: We have one. Mexicans.
Jr. Developer: [sigh] What we need is an extraterrestrial alien invasion.
Developer #2: Boy, you sure have it out for the aliens.
Developer #1: I can’t help it. I’m a xenophobe.
Jr. Developer: The whole world is xenophobic. We need the extraterrestrial invasion in order … [Link]

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