John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

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Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

FMyLife » poor man says FML

Wednesday 26 November 22:43:09 UTC 2014

Today, I frantically told my parents that my bank account had no money. Turns out, they took the $1,600 I had saved up from a summer job and invested it in penny-stocks. I was grounded because they were "doing it for the family," and I'm being selfish. They also had lost it all in a matter of days. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Hidden Gems on the Ultimate Road Trip Through the Southwest

Wednesday 26 November 21:21:39 UTC 2014

Looking for a good reason to cruise through the American Southwest? These 11 destinations are must-stops. [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 26 November 20:39:02 UTC 2014

Today, my little brother learned about mortality when our dog died. Since then, he's gone a little nuts and keeps ranting that he sees no point as to why our other dog should live. He's 16. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Get to Know the Turkey Species You Don't Eat

Wednesday 26 November 20:30:00 UTC 2014

Let’s talk turkey. Not the one that’ll be on your plate on Thursday—the other turkey. [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Amazing Treehouses You Can Stay In

Wednesday 26 November 20:15:56 UTC 2014

You’ll be really living the high life when you check into one of these awesome treehouses. * This short film depicts a fight between Batman and Darth Vader. Why? Because it’s cool. * Just in time for Christmas comes a new Honest Trailer for one of the most schmaltzy and/or beloved Christmas movies, Love Actually. * Time says that these … [Link]

Mental Floss » All the Presidents' Pardoned Turkeys

Wednesday 26 November 19:00:00 UTC 2014

The turkeys pardoned this year are named "Tater" and "Tot." [Link]

Futility Closet » Punchup

Wednesday 26 November 18:59:58 UTC 2014

In order to restore Shakespeare to popularity in the 1930s, the theater critic and satirist A.E. Wilson suggested getting Noël Coward to rewrite Romeo and Juliet: Julia (sweetly): O, Ro, must you be going? It isn’t four o’clock yet. Another cocktail, darling?
Romeo: Thanks.
Julia: And anyway, don’t be stupid, darling. That wasn’t the lark, silly. It was the thingummyjig, … [Link]

Mental Floss » The Most Interesting Comics of the Week

Wednesday 26 November 18:30:00 UTC 2014

This week's comics include a gender-bent Odyssey, a Gotham police squad focused on the supernatural and some time-traveling corporate shenanigans [Link]

Mental Floss » How Much Are These 11 'Price Is Right' Showcases Worth Today?

Wednesday 26 November 18:30:00 UTC 2014

Nearly 20 years before Bob Barker took the mic and Johnny Olson asked contestants to “Come on down!,” The Price is Right premiered on NBC. Running almost continuously since its debut on November 26, 1956—it was off the air from the original iteration’s final episode in 1965 until its resurrection (with Bob Barker as host) in 1972—The Price Is Right … [Link]

The Onion » Statshot: Top Thanksgiving Side Dishes

Wednesday 26 November 16:51:00 UTC 2014

Top Thanksgiving Side Dishes
[Link]

Mental Floss » Two Hours of "Star Wars: Deleted Magic"

Wednesday 26 November 16:46:50 UTC 2014

Here's the Star Wars video you've been looking for. In Garrett Gilchrist's Deleted Magic we have two hours of Star Wars bloopers, deleted scenes, table-reads, alternate takes, interviews, behind-the-scenes footage, and other great stuff. The video starts with an assemblage of outtakes from the various Star Wars films, then around 10 minutes in it shifts into a blooper-filled/rough-cut recreation of … [Link]

The Onion » Man At Airport Pissed That Other People Had Same Idea To Go Home For Thanksgiving

Wednesday 26 November 16:30:00 UTC 2014

NEW YORK—Sighing and cursing under his breath upon seeing the long, winding security lines and packed concourses throughout LaGuardia Airport, 28-year-old Thomas Metcalfe was reportedly pissed off Wednesday after realizing that other people had the …
[Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Words

Wednesday 26 November 16:30:00 UTC 2014

Cartoons, comics, and newspaper comic strips might seem like an unusual source of new words and phrases, but English is such an eclectic language—and comic strips have always had daily access to such a vast number of people—that a few of their coinages have slipped into everyday use. Here are the etymological stories behind 10 examples of precisely that. 1. … [Link]

Mental Floss » Where Did the Wilhelm Scream Come From and Why Do So Many Filmmakers Use It?

Wednesday 26 November 16:00:00 UTC 2014

What do Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, Toy Story, Reservoir Dogs, Titanic, Anchorman, 22 Jump Street, and more than 200 other films and TV shows have in common? Not much besides the one and only Wilhelm Scream. The so-called Wilhelm Scream is the holy grail of movie … [Link]

The Onion » Everyone In Family Compliments Grandmother On How Small And Feeble She’s Gotten

Wednesday 26 November 15:30:00 UTC 2014

WHEATON, IL—Uttering surprised exclamations and smiling in amazement at her wrinkled, wizened frame shortly after she arrived for the Thanksgiving holiday, every member of the Hostig family complimented their grandmother, Judith Hostig, on how small…
[Link]

Weird Universe » The Gray Shadow

Wednesday 26 November 13:20:05 UTC 2014

"Lift the gloom of gray that darkens your face!"


Source: The Raritan Township and Fords Beacon – Apr 10, 1936 [Link]

Weird Universe » Texaco Fire Chief Speaker Hat

Wednesday 26 November 13:04:10 UTC 2014

I don't think the gal in the third video is wearing one….

[Link]

Mental Floss » Watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade from 1935

Wednesday 26 November 11:30:00 UTC 2014

The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade has been going on since 1924, so it has understandably undergone some changes. This video gives you a peek at what the parade was like when it was still relatively young. The balloons are little awkward and lopsided, but not lacking in charm. Even the voiceover is delightful—you can't make a bad joke with a … [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Turkey Parts

Wednesday 26 November 10:59:00 UTC 2014

[Link]

Futility Closet » Dueling Pennies

Wednesday 26 November 6:05:26 UTC 2014

A certain strange casino offers only one game. The casino posts a positive integer n on the wall, and the customer flips a fair coin repeatedly until it falls tails. If he has tossed n – 1 times, he pays the house 8n – 1 dollars; if he’s tossed n + 1 times, the house pays him 8n dollars; and … [Link]

FMyLife » drreeeewwww says FML

Wednesday 26 November 5:14:07 UTC 2014

Today, I found out that my dog likes to howl when he hears sirens. I live next to the fire station. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 26 November 4:45:35 UTC 2014

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Blöde Gans says FML

Wednesday 26 November 0:44:02 UTC 2014

Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML [Link]

FMyLife » IHateProtesters says FML

Wednesday 26 November 0:43:23 UTC 2014

Today, a group of protesters set up just outside my residence hall at one in the morning. After an hour of chanting, the police finally told them to stop, and I was finally able to get some sleep. The protesters responded by pulling the fire alarm in every residence hall on campus. FML [Link]

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