John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Every man: "I totally believe it". Every woman: "Riiiiiiight" [Misc]

Saturday 22 November 23:23:46 UTC 2014

Misc [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ferguson grand jury decides to: A) Indict B) No Bill C) Not fark up Thanksgiving and Black Friday [Obvious]

Saturday 22 November 22:51:39 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [144 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 22 November 22:34:34 UTC 2014

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this accomplished mission [Photoshop]

Saturday 22 November 21:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 6.8 mag quake strikes Japan. And so it goes [Scary]

Saturday 22 November 20:23:44 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well THAT article really bummed me out [Interesting]

Saturday 22 November 19:28:55 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police officers demand chief be fired because he told them to back away from suicidal man rather than use him for target practice [Interesting]

Saturday 22 November 18:04:02 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [96 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Studying is for crazy people. says FML

Saturday 22 November 17:31:09 UTC 2014

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML [Link]

FMyLife » angkal2002 says FML

Saturday 22 November 17:31:08 UTC 2014

Today, my five year old sister won't stop saying, "shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML [Link]

FMyLife » alli67 says FML

Saturday 22 November 17:31:07 UTC 2014

Today, I went to the doctor's with my pregnant sister, only to find out she still weighs less than me. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Family loses everything in fire at Joe's Garage. Fire blamed on band playing with a cheesy amp and a second-hand Stratocaster with a whammy bar [Sad]

Saturday 22 November 17:26:07 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [110 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Carnage23 says FML

Saturday 22 November 16:46:08 UTC 2014

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss announced he is coming with us. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When cutting through sheet rock to steal a Mosque's donation box, don't wear a hat with your name on it [Dumbass]

Saturday 22 November 16:42:49 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "It's been fifty years since JFK was assassinated. We must re-investigate the crime," claims journalist who somehow has missed the past fifty years of investigations [Dumbass]

Saturday 22 November 16:20:59 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [161 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Home Grown

Saturday 22 November 14:49:11 UTC 2014

Labgrown penises coming soon! Maybe they will get around to less important things like, oh say, kidneys someday. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bus driver: "He came out of nowhere, like somebody just beamed him down." This defense only works if the deceased was wearing a red shirt [Sad]

Saturday 22 November 14:49:09 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Two Short Films About JFK's Assassination

Saturday 22 November 14:46:57 UTC 2014

On November 22, 1963, President John F. Kennedy was murdered. The facts of that day are still a matter of dispute for some, leading documentarian Errol Morris to ponder the nature of investigation, what is knowable, and whether the intensity of investigation results in knowledge. In these two fascinating little documentaries, Morris explores some events of that day. If you've … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gym teacher drags teen girl into the pool after she refuses to swim … because she just had her hair done. Tag is for everyone involved [Stupid]

Saturday 22 November 14:35:02 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [368 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Weekend Links: A Perfect Paper Airplane

Saturday 22 November 14:30:00 UTC 2014

This is, allegedly, the necessary method to fold the world's best paper airplane. Everyone is encouraged to replicate this at home, and report back with their findings. * There was plenty of darkness hidden amongst the magic of Harry Potter's wizarding world; concept art of eerie creatures inspired by the books that never made it into the films proves just … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Every tinfoil maker in the world should pitch in to pay this guy a pension [Obvious]

Saturday 22 November 14:20:46 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these dirty commies [Photoshop]

Saturday 22 November 14:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Buleah!

Saturday 22 November 13:57:48 UTC 2014

And now for a short musical interlude:

[Link]

FMyLife » liishax3 says FML

Saturday 22 November 13:52:47 UTC 2014

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured "ehh a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML [Link]

Weird Universe » Drive Me, Daddy

Saturday 22 November 13:05:32 UTC 2014

How refreshingly charming to find a young lady who is also a gearhead.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » How can this little unwanted moggy also be the rarest cat in all of Scotland? It's because he's a MALE tortoiseshell. Give a Caturday welcome to twelve-week-old Harry, who has defied genetics by being one of the few toms in the world to have

Saturday 22 November 13:00:00 UTC 2014

Caturday [link] [789 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 22 November 12:24:55 UTC 2014

Today, I learned that if life gives you lemons, your sister is going to squeeze them over your face while you take a nap on the couch. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 22 November 12:24:54 UTC 2014

Today, my grandson was born. I'm 34, and my daughter is 15. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Arizona 'pregnant man' charged with stalking estranged wife." No mad-libs were harmed in the making of this headline [Strange]

Saturday 22 November 10:23:40 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The United States of Alcohol. What is the booziest state is America? [Interesting]

Saturday 22 November 10:03:48 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently, no one thought it was odd that Gantz would clock out from the warehouse everyday with a stack of surplus combat helmets on his head [Strange]

Saturday 22 November 8:35:00 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't you hate it when your breakfast gets interrupted by total bollocks [Amusing]

Saturday 22 November 7:05:30 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Bartitsu

Saturday 22 November 6:46:42 UTC 2014

When engineer E.W. Barton-Wright returned to England after three years in Japan, he brought with him a new discipline: Bartitsu, a martial art of his own devising that combined jujutsu, judo, boxing, and stick fighting. He listed its essential principles in an article in Pearson’s Magazine in March 1899: 1. To disturb the equilibrium of your assailant.
2. To surprise … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sales of beard nets soar as marginally-employable hipsters increasingly enter the food service industry [Obvious]

Saturday 22 November 6:35:00 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 23 Facts About 'Steel Magnolias'

Saturday 22 November 5:30:00 UTC 2014

They came. They cried. They conquered. Twenty-five years ago, director Herbert Ross (he of The Goodbye Girl and Footloose fame) assembled an all-star female cast of a half-dozen of Hollywood’s most popular leading ladies—including one newcomer named Julia Roberts—to adapt Robert Harling’s play, Steel Magnolias, into one of the top-grossing films of 1989. Here are 23 things you might not … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "And in the master bedroom, the closet is big enough to hide a dead body" [Scary]

Saturday 22 November 4:50:02 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Smithsonian's list of the 100 most influential Americans includes Abraham Lincoln, Mark Twain, and… L. Ron Hubbard? [Unlikely]

Saturday 22 November 4:02:58 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Window washer falls 11 stories, hits moving vehicle, and survives. No word on the condition of the Leprechaun he landed on [Unlikely]

Saturday 22 November 3:34:55 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Grave Sightings: Zachary Taylor

Saturday 22 November 3:30:00 UTC 2014

Every time we so much as touch a toe out of state, I’ve put cemeteries on our travel itinerary. From garden-like expanses to overgrown boot hills, whether they’re the final resting places of the well-known but not that important or the important but not that well-known, I love them all. After realizing that there are a lot of taphophiles out … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nairobi police have had it with these motherfarkin giraffes on the motherfarkin plane [Strange]

Saturday 22 November 3:20:29 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The sexiest goat portraits you will see today [Cool]

Saturday 22 November 3:11:08 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "None of my kids are afraid to hunt with rifles because there is no longer the loud bang" [Florida]

Saturday 22 November 2:51:05 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [134 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Texas has just ruined the textbook industry [Fail]

Saturday 22 November 1:41:49 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [203 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Crested Facts About Dilophosaurus

Saturday 22 November 1:02:13 UTC 2014

Let's take a closer look at Dilophosaurus, an off-kilter dino that 'Jurassic Park' turned into a Mesozoic celebrity. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this sandy construction [Photoshop]

Saturday 22 November 1:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Celebrating the 50th Anniversary of the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge with Gay Talese

Saturday 22 November 1:00:00 UTC 2014

Last night, on the eve of the 50th anniversary of the opening of the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge, Gay Talese joined former New York Times Metro columnist Clyde Haberman at the Museum of the City of New York to reflect on the four-year period during which he witnessed the building of the bridge. The night opened with an introduction of the bridge: … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Members of Kentucky's Labor Cabinet enraged after someone asks them to do some work and shovel snow outside their Lexington office [Asinine]

Saturday 22 November 0:30:56 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Sherlock Easter Eggs Straight From Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Saturday 22 November 0:11:22 UTC 2014

Here are 15 references to the original stories that you might have missed. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » White House names new executive pastry chef. Republicans immediately threaten to sue, saying it is beyond Obama's constitutional authority [Obvious]

Saturday 22 November 0:10:53 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Are Liquor Bottles Sometimes Sealed With Wax?

Saturday 22 November 0:00:00 UTC 2014

The tradition of sealing whiskey bottles in wax goes back hundreds of years. It helps keep bottles of spirits, wine, or beer fresh, and it ensures what's inside hasn’t been doctored or tampered with. Nowadays, distilleries use wax seals primarily for branding. Arguably, the most iconic example of wax use within the American whiskey industry is Maker’s Mark’s trademarked dripping … [Link]

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