Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Crackers
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Are you frequently Splifficated and do you like Panther Sweat? [Amusing]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Flying saucer uses sinister 'mind control' ray on Manchester man. Yeah, sounds legit [Unlikely]
[link] [11 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Previously-unknown island discovered in Arctic Ocean. CNN already speculating that Amelia Earhart landed MH370 there [Interesting]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Turns out moderate drinking isn't that beneficial after all, which explains why Farkers don't take any chances with getting their fRDA of liquid refreshment [Interesting]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 12 Inedible Goodies that Foodies Will Still Love
1. Pizza Sleeping Bag, $200 
The bag is a slice of pizza; the toppings are pillows. This is awesome. 2. Scented Waffle Necklace, $28 
This is a necklace of a waffle that smells like waffles. What else do you need to know? 3. Candy Crush Chevron Leggings, $78 
Zara Tarez partnered with Candy Crush to create a drool-worthy line that … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Critic of polygraph testing angers the U.S. government and my wife, Morgan Fairchild [Interesting]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ebola Nurse wants people to stop calling her the Ebola Nurse [Amusing]
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Real estate agent's drone snaps picture of woman sunbathing topless in her backyard. Don't get your hopes up about the link, though [Dumbass]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Breaking Bad + Frozen
Breaking Bad + Frozen = Do you wanna build a meth lab? * Here’s a small sneak peek at what the new CGI Peanuts film will look like. * You know the podcast Serial is truly popular because it now has a parody. * Now THIS is culinary art. What would it look like if famous artists served your Thanksgiving … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML [Link]
FMyLife » UnchainedGaruda says FML
Today, I heard my mother say, "I feel bad for any girl that marries him because he's, what's the word? Metrosexual!" To my girlfriend. About me. FML [Link]
The Onion » Girlfriend Talks Through Whole Goddamn Commercial
WHEELING, WV—Saying that he was unable to focus fully on the storyline or hear crucial parts of the dialogue, area man Richard Heller told reporters that his girlfriend talked through a whole goddamn Papa John’s commercial Sunday evening. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » New Jersey would like to remind you potty-mouthed %@#&ing b*tches that it has been a crime to curse in front of children in NJ since 1944 [Interesting]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark ready headline: Why seals have sex with penguins [Interesting]
[link] [98 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Facebook Reportedly Building LinkedIn-Style ‘Facebook At Work’
According to reports, Facebook is developing a new platform to compete with LinkedIn and Google Drive called Facebook at Work, which would allow workers to chat with colleagues, collaborate on documents, and establish professional contacts. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » My child is an honor roll student who burnt down our home, killed our dog, and got arrested in the nude [Interesting]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Horny elephant kidnaps Russian woman and her 9-year-old daughter [Scary]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » America: Combats gang violence by militarizing police force. Canada: Combats gang violence by holding a film festival [Cool]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A letter from a teacher to parents about that one problem child in the room [Interesting]
[link] [97 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these spectacles [Photoshop]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Missouri declares state of emergency just ahead of the Darren Wilson Grand Jury verdict probably for no reason whatsoever [News]
[link] [320 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Dude, is that a fire in the woods?" "Yeah. Hey, wasn't there a geezer in a deer blind right about there?" [Sad]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man kills a deer and loads it onto a cart to wheel it out of the forest. You know how this ends [Dumbass]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Pacific Ocean Quarantined After Contact With Carnival Cruise Ship
WASHINGTON—In an effort to control the spread of a significant health threat, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention quarantined the Pacific Ocean Monday after the body of water reportedly came into contact with Carnival’s Crown Prince… 
[Link]
The Onion » Paleontologists Determine Dinosaurs Were Killed By Someone They Trusted
BERKELEY, CA—Citing compelling fossil evidence that the prehistoric species died suddenly and treacherously, paleontologists at the University of California, Berkeley announced Monday that dinosaurs were almost certainly killed by someone they trust… 
[Link]
The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: Cos And Effect
Cos And Effect 
[Link]
Mental Floss » 12 Toasty Tips for Staying Warm in Cold Weather
Using these tips, you can stay warm no matter how frightful the weather outside gets. 1. Warm yourself first. It's easier to change your body temperature than room temperature, not to mention more eco-friendly. Instead of turning up the heat, put on another layer of clothing. 2. Wear a hat. 
Your mom may have said that you lose 80 percent … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » AARP to offer early membership to Pennsylvania 18-year-old after she drives into a gas station [Stupid]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Orlando International Airport suing to keep Uber off its property [Florida]
[link] [127 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Why Do They Dye Cheese Yellow?
In this week's episode of The Big Question, Craig Benzine answers a pressing question about cheese. See Also…
10 Food Misconceptions—Debunked!
Who Invented the Hot Dog?
29 Dumb Facts About Dessert Don't miss an episode—subscribe here! [Images and footage provided by Shutterstock.] [Link]
Mental Floss » Strange States: New Jersey’s War Hero Pigeon
This week we’re heading to The Garden State, New Jersey. [Link]
Mental Floss » The Amazing Life of Sand
Sand is not a singular thing. If you collected some sand from a nearby shore and put it under a microscope, you'd likely find something quite different from what I would. There's another part of the strange beauty of sand — from our perspective, it's one homogenous thing, but from the sand's perspective, each grain has its own history. Check … [Link]
Mental Floss » State Abbreviation Blitz With Booby Traps
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter #13: Don't Play The Politics Tab Drinking Game [FarkBlog]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Sportsgraphic: NFL Week 11 Winners And Losers
Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the 11th week of the NFL season 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » British police quiz grandmother over 'racially offensive' knitted gorilla in window. They certainly made a monkey out of her (pic) [Stupid]
[link] [102 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Norwich 'fun sponges' want to ban skateboarding in the city. Heh – fun sponges [Amusing]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Onion Poll: Do You Consider Yourself A Feminist?
The Onion – America's Finest News Source 
[Link]
FMyLife » pickuptruckblues says FML
Today, I was stopped behind a pickup truck filled with junk. I told my friend that the person should have secured the junk better, since it looked like it would fall off any minute. My friend assured me it wouldn't. Right after she said that, a large piece of plywood fell off and hit my windshield. FML [Link]
FMyLife » username says FML
Today, my father told me to "go get a job". He has been unemployed for 3 years. FML [Link]
FMyLife » areyouserious says FML
Today, my older brother thinks typing out a Wikipedia article for an essay is not plagiarism, because he didn't "copy and paste" it. He's in college. FML [Link]
FMyLife » boo says FML
Today, I'm old enough to be looking at houses to buy, but not old enough to get past the idea that they might be affordable because they're haunted. FML [Link]
The Onion » Do You Consider Yourself A Feminist?
The Onion – America's Finest News Source 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Attention, masochists: the "new" version of Do They Know It's Christmas is here, and you can now see it for the first time. WELL TONIGHT THANK GOD IT'S THEM INSTEAD OF YOU takes on a new meaning since it's about Ebola [PSA]
[link] [114 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You are in possession of a $100/month apartment in Manhattan. Do you: a) stay quiet, b) count your blessings, or c) let the landlord know you are not the tenant he made the $100/month deal with by suing him? [Dumbass]
[link] [108 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About 'Aladdin'
A whole new world of dazzling facts about this beloved Disney classic. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're going to pull a 60mph wheelie in traffic on your motorcycle, do a quick check and ensure there aren't any cops on horseback around (video) [Dumbass]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » German village sick of Neo-Nazi march decides to troll the ever loving shiat out of them by signing up companies to donate 10 Euro for every marcher to a nonprofit that helps people quit their groups [Amusing]
[link] [90 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Lester Holt Fills In For Brian Williams During Family’s Nightly Dinner
NEW CANAAN, CT—Driving up from the city after learning that the family’s regular patriarch would be out of town filming a special assignment, NBC News anchor Lester Holt filled in for Brian Williams Monday during his family’s nightly din… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "No suspicion of criminal activity" against Palestinian bus driver found "beaten all over his body" and hanged in his own bus. In other breaking news, that Ferguson kid probably capped himself [Asinine]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Immortal" cult leader proves himself a fraud [Ironic]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ft. Lauderdale — the city that made headlines for citing a 90-year-old man for feeding the homeless — has budgeted $25,000 to purchase bus tickets for homeless people who would like to leave town [Florida]
[link] [98 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman demands delivery pizza from 911. Difficulty: not a prank [Hero]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
The Onion » New History Channel Program Explores What Would Have Happened If History Channel Never Existed
NEW YORK—Promising viewers a glimpse into a shocking alternate reality, the History Channel is set to debut Monday its newest show, Life Without History, which theorizes a world in which the cable channel had never been created. 
[Link]
The Onion » Son Never Showed Such Dedication Until Starting Football Hazing
LEBANON, PA—Claiming the extracurricular activity has brought out a side of their son they’ve never seen before, the parents of local student Dylan Martel told reporters Monday that the high school senior has shown tremendous dedication ever s… 
[Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Study: Playing Action Video Games Can Make Children Better Learners
A study from a researcher at the University of Rochester claimed that playing fast-paced action video games can help young people become better learners by requiring the brain to multitask and process a variety of different stimuli at the same time. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » 8 Travel Hacks for Your Next Vacation
Contrary to the saying, getting there is not always half the fun. Don’t let airport hassles, dead phones, and suitcase disasters get in your way. Instead, try these convenient travel hacks to make your vacation the relaxing trip it should be. 1. Clear your cookies. It’s not your imagination—the price of that airline ticket really did go up since the … [Link]
Mental Floss » Where Did Paisley Come From?
The design that looks like a lopsided teardrop or stylized tadpole is called “paisley”, but it didn’t originate in the Scottish town of the same name. The design got its start on shawls made in Kashmir some 2,000 years ago. (The traditional explanation for the paisley shape is that it’s supposed to be a pine cone; we can only presume … [Link]
Mental Floss » Crackers
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police close case on family's LSD-tainted Walmart steak dinner. "It is a mystery. And it will probably always remain a mystery" [Florida]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of November 17, 2014
The Week In Pictures – Week Of November 17, 2014 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » New Jersey seal condemned to Detroit just because it wants you to pet it and scratch behind its ears. Wait, do seals even have ears? As if being shipped to Detroit wasn't bad enough, the poor thing doesn't even have ears [Interesting]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nutritionists release list of the ten absolutely worst foods to eat. Americans: Challenge accepted [Obvious]
[link] [214 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » U.S. Ebola fatalities double [News]
[link] [160 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Pieces of Advice for the 'Jeopardy!' Tournament of Champions
The best part of being really successful at something is the fleeting sense of satisfaction you get when you condescendingly advise other people on how to be successful like you. A lot of people asked me for advice on how to kick the butt of America’s most beloved game show earlier this year when I became the third-highest earning Jeopardy! … [Link]
Weird Universe » The Jake Bird Hex
Jake Bird was a truly creepy character — an axe-murderer who may have killed as many as 46 people. But even after he was caught in 1947 and sentenced to death, he's said to have continued killing people by putting the "Jake Bird hex" on them. Six people associated with the trial were said to have succumbed to his hex.
From … [Link]
FMyLife » Quackadoodledoo says FML
Today, after visiting friends for the weekend, I took the wrong train home. It was going in completely the opposite direction. I've now missed the last train back, will miss work tomorrow and have just been asked to vacate the train station. I'm 120 miles from home. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Mexican Sidewalk Meeting Point [Photoshop]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The best-selling drug in America is an antipsychotic that is often prescribed to treat depression, even though nobody knows how it works or whether or not it actually treats depression. We do know, however, that it makes drug companies a lot of money
[link] [219 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Imprisoned hacker reveals how he broke into emails of Colin Powell, George Bush and others. DNS Spoofing? Password cracking? Brute force attacks? Nope…just password guessing. Maybe Barney123 wasn't such a great password after all [Obvious]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 34: Spring-Heeled Jack — A Victorian Supervillain
Between 1837 and 1904, rumors spread of a strange bounding devil who haunted southern England, breathing blue flames and menacing his victims with steel talons. In the latest Futility Closet podcast we review the career of Spring-Heeled Jack and speculate about his origins. We also recount Alexander Graham Bell’s efforts to help the wounded James Garfield before his doctors’ treatments … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A letter from summer camp Al-Fatwa, Leonardo DiCaprio celebrates his birthday like the rest of us, and new Yemen government hopes to make it to Wednesday: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/9 – 11/15 [FarkBlog]
[link] [0 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » You'll Be Mesmerized by This Stunning Timelapse of the Sun
Sure, NASA releases incredible video of the sun pretty frequently—but you've never seen the celestial body quite like you do in this stunning 4K timelapse created by James Tyrwhitt-Drake. Composed of more than 17,000 ultraviolet images from the Solar Dynamics Observatory (SDO), the animation—which is playing at a rate of 52.5 minutes per second—shows the surface of the sun from … [Link]
Weird Universe » Paris Sweepstakes
Boring pep talk from a CEO segues into a husband's foreign sex fantasies. That's a sweepstakes promotion! [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Leonid Meteor Shower Tonight!
How To See The 2014 Leonid Meteor Shower. Get ready for a show of shooting stars on Monday night!
*
The Top 50 Video Games Of All Time, Ranked. This is one gutsy ranking, guaranteed to provoke disagreement.
*
Films You Didn’t Know Were Ripped from the Headlines. The real stories had messier and usually unhappier endings.
*
The 10 … [Link]
FMyLife » no says FML
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was counselling a soon-to-be teen mom. She has a younger step-brother, and when I asked her how she handled him when he cries, she said, "Oh, that's when you cover their face until they stop!" FML [Link]
FMyLife » tine says FML
Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML [Link]
FMyLife » FlyLikeABird says FML
Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Teen on a soccer tournament trip gets shot in his hotel room. Fark: From a gun in the next room over [Sad]
[link] [234 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » News: Locals petition authorities to preserve decaying former World War II POW camp. FARK: 45 miles east of Toronto [Interesting]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Steve Harvey never saw this coming [Scary]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Research finds that labs are the dog most likely to bite. You guessed it, they lead with a photo of a pit bull [Sad]
[link] [193 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you don't want to hang out with your girlfriend one night, just be honest with her. In the long run it's a better decision than sending her a text saying you've been kidnapped [Dumbass]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nine drunk British college students get stuck in an elevator and Aerosmith ensues [Obvious]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » INeedaNewJob says FML
Today, my wife received a $15,000 bonus from her work. I got a backpack from mine. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Baby falls three stories, bounces, and crawls away uninjured [Florida]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » [She] posted on average 59 times a day on the site in 60 days, making her the No. 1 poster in that period. She posted only during work hours – as is the trend of the top 25 posters on the site – and never on weekends. Difficulty: Not Fark related [Ob
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » More than 170 cruise ship passengers contract the norovirus after eating the clams casino [Sick]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not news: Bus breaks down. News: On a zoo safari. Fark: Lions [Scary]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "A VHS tape destroyed my marriage" [Fail]
[link] [150 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You may want to sit down for this, but drug manufacturers may not have your best interests at heart and actually want to make money more than they want to help people. Ric Romero investigates [Obvious]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Census data reveal American men's long-term memory capability on the decline [Scary]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » In a Word
brumal
adj. wintry hibernal
adj. of, pertaining to, or proper to winter hiemal
adj. of or belonging to winter [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "The men were kept in police custody until they sobered up" [Amusing]
[link] [9 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » We can put a man on the moon, we can land a rover on a comet, and now we can track fish from space. Still no cure for cancer, though [Spiffy]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The problem with John Muir and his legacy of environmentalism is the same problem as apparently everything that's bad these days: He's too straight, white, and religious [Asinine]
[link] [96 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Since when is ADHD considered a disability? A disability worth $30 million? [Dumbass]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Anonymous takes over the KKK's Twitter accounts in response to Ferguson threats [Spiffy]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wisconsin is for Farkers [Amusing]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Do you feel self-conscious in a restaurant and worry that your waiter is judging you? Well, guess what…he is. BON APPETIT [PSA]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If this new map showing reproduction rates is any indication, minorities are set to overtake the United States [Cool]
[link] [212 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » We've secretly replaced a photo of Greece's coastline in a new tourism ad with a photo of Australia's coastline featuring the rock formations known as the Twelve Apostles. Let's see if anyone notices [Fail]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this storm brewing [Photoshop]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » wtfdad says FML
Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I had to endure my father going on a sexist rant about how women shouldn't be allowed to go to university because it's "unrealistic" since "all women" become stay-at-home mums. This is the same man who threatened to kick me out if I dropped out of uni. FML [Link]
FMyLife » omgdesdes says FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Meet the world's leading dirty car artist, who turns grubby car windows into works of art [Cool]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
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