John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Mental Floss » 9 Easy Lifehacks for Going Green

Saturday 15 November 23:30:31 UTC 2014

Looking out for the environment is both easy and effortless when you’ve got these convenient lifehacks on hand. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police in Britain cordon off a swan that decided to sit on the road for a while (pics) [Amusing]

Saturday 15 November 23:18:08 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nearly a year after Montana initiated method to legalize collection of roadkill, more than 800 permits have been issued. Says one local, "Them's good eatin'" [Sick]

Saturday 15 November 23:05:30 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Maximum trolling: President of Turkey says Muslims discovered America [Unlikely]

Saturday 15 November 22:49:19 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Deputy arrested and fired for stealing … a $10 DVD from a crime scene [Florida]

Saturday 15 November 22:35:23 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why does the apostrophe continue to live in certain words like "dont," "wont," "cant," etc? Because we like to correct others [Obvious]

Saturday 15 November 22:20:27 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [194 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » coveholli says FML

Saturday 15 November 21:35:09 UTC 2014

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML [Link]

FMyLife » That_Indian_Guy says FML

Saturday 15 November 21:35:08 UTC 2014

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Unlucky says FML

Saturday 15 November 21:35:07 UTC 2014

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Flocks of urban sheep are playing a huge role in Cleveland's urban revival (pics) [Interesting]

Saturday 15 November 21:33:30 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this fashionable storefront [Photoshop]

Saturday 15 November 21:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ever have that nagging feeling there was something you forgot to do … 73 years ago? [Amusing]

Saturday 15 November 20:17:04 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Barring a successful appeal, Asiana Airlines may spend 45 days not crashing into SFO [Followup]

Saturday 15 November 20:10:19 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cops clasp cuffs on copper caper crew, canning culprits [Dumbass]

Saturday 15 November 20:03:03 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thailand edges out Syria, Egypt, the Kurdish crescent in Iraq, Afghanistan and pretty much anywhere in north or east Africa to win the title of "most dangerous tourist destination on earth" [Scary]

Saturday 15 November 19:32:34 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No, I wasn't *just* hanging out at bars all the time. I was blowing the lid on the biggest beer marketing scandal of the century [Interesting]

Saturday 15 November 19:16:23 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Global price of oil plummets 31 percent in just five months in proof that oil prices can go in more than one direction [Interesting]

Saturday 15 November 19:07:24 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Watch this massive cargo ship getting twisted and bent by a storm at sea, then be thankful you work in a quiet, dry office [Scary]

Saturday 15 November 18:27:39 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "How I Survived My Kids' Disney World Meltdown" [Obvious]

Saturday 15 November 17:51:58 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The best worst break-up text you'll ever read features a cat and a cursing lady and was sent by a guy who had only been dating a woman for seven weeks [Amusing]

Saturday 15 November 17:42:31 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [121 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Before there was such a thing as a selfie, Irish man began 4 1/2 year journey around the world, taking a selfie every day at 3pm, for 1600 days in a row (and counting). Now called "The greatest selfie project ever" [Interesting]

Saturday 15 November 17:29:52 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Talking Math at Pixar

Saturday 15 November 17:19:41 UTC 2014

In this video, Brady Haran of Numberphile visits Pixar to find out how they use math to make animated movies. This is actually a pretty deep dive on the math; we've seen Tony DeRose do this kind of thing before, but he rarely has time (and a math-literate interviewer) to get into the details. If you're interested in math and … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So…here's macaroni and cheese tacos [Sick]

Saturday 15 November 16:55:02 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A treehouse grows in Brooklyn [Cool]

Saturday 15 November 16:31:33 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chances are you can't drive a manual transmission, you've never changed a tire, you don't know what a dipstick looks like, and you have no business owning a car [Obvious]

Saturday 15 November 15:45:31 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [417 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tons of pot seized in a raid on the most awesome farm ever [Misc]

Saturday 15 November 15:23:40 UTC 2014

Misc [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No matter how hard Americans try, we will never be able to make our food look as cute as the Japanese do [Spiffy]

Saturday 15 November 15:20:37 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Knives + Clowns = Nope to the Nopfinity [Scary]

Saturday 15 November 14:35:36 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Artist proves that you CAN find a needle in a haystack [Followup]

Saturday 15 November 14:32:46 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: Warning signs you'd like to see in real life. Link goes to a classic Fark example [Photoshop]

Saturday 15 November 14:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Paramedic named Jason Alexander accused of stealing a Rolex from a patient. Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? [Asinine]

Saturday 15 November 13:43:57 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Olympian Swimmer Ann Curtis Races a Seal

Saturday 15 November 13:40:46 UTC 2014

Original article here.

PS: the seal won. [Link]

Weird Universe » Satanic Coloring Book

Saturday 15 November 13:23:29 UTC 2014

I've posted before about unusual coloring books, such as the E.F. Hutton Coloring Book and the Anti-Terrorism Coloring Book, so when a coloring book titled The Satanic Children's Big Book of Activities showed up in the news, it caught my eye.

A group called the Satanic Temple wants to hand out copies of this coloring book to children in Florida … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Satellite image sent to Russia from USA shows fighter jet launching missile at Malaysian Boeing MH17. Seems legit [Unlikely]

Saturday 15 November 13:19:06 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meet Tom, the seven-year-old rescue cat who cares for VA hospice patients and comforts the families that are grieving for their loved ones, thereby making some of their final Caturdays the best in their lives [Caturday]

Saturday 15 November 13:00:01 UTC 2014

Caturday [link] [532 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If someone robs the 7-Eleven but forgets to take the money with them is it really considered a robbery? [Fail]

Saturday 15 November 12:41:03 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Don't take the chance with it. It's not worth it. You give up your life, you lose everything." What was this woman talking about? A) Drugs, B) Unprotected sex, or C) Eating raw cookie dough [Scary]

Saturday 15 November 12:18:00 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [103 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » loner says FML

Saturday 15 November 11:28:53 UTC 2014

Today, I noticed that I get more calls from people who've dialed the wrong number than I do from people I actually know. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 15 November 11:28:52 UTC 2014

Today, I found out one of my girlfriend's recent Google searches was, "should I admit to cheating or just dump him?" FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Justus Belfield, 98, spent his last full day on earth in his army uniform, lying in bed at Baptist Health Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Scotia with his wife Lillian in her own bed next to him." Godspeed sir [Hero]

Saturday 15 November 10:50:20 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Blind man hit and killed by car in Oakland. He probably never saw it… Well you know [Sad]

Saturday 15 November 9:57:48 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vladimir Putin steals one from the GOP, starts his own Wikipedia [Interesting]

Saturday 15 November 9:38:30 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stripper fingered [Obvious]

Saturday 15 November 9:31:47 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jésus-Christ, il est pas un tigre. Sortez de la voiture [Followup]

Saturday 15 November 9:24:08 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Olive Garden hopes to appeal to the kindness, honesty, and intelligence of Twitter and Imgur users in order to develop their new menu [Florida]

Saturday 15 November 9:19:33 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police deploy tear gas that overcomes an elementary school after three cruisers get in a crash. Which would be understandable in a wild chase, not a police training exercise [Dumbass]

Saturday 15 November 9:10:45 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ohio woman's cremated remains lost by USPS found in Michigan mail processing center. Postal officials reportedly very ash shamed [Followup]

Saturday 15 November 8:51:43 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman who has been arrested 10 times makes it 11 by nearly running down a group of children and urinating on the sidewalk [Florida]

Saturday 15 November 8:41:17 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In a first, a man experiencing a severe burning sensation walks INTO a Taco Bell to seek help [Weird]

Saturday 15 November 8:37:39 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [12 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 15 November 8:11:22 UTC 2014

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me via Facebook chat. When I asked her why, she replied "You know why." and blocked me. No, I don't know. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here are 24 uses for that dead tree on your property. And the tree was happy [Obvious]

Saturday 15 November 8:04:14 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Send home a letter with students saying that "White Students" didn't meet last year's reading requirements on the SOLs? You already know someone has a problem with this [Fail]

Saturday 15 November 7:46:12 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kitten found almost dead and tangled in electric wires on a porch in sub-zero temperatures is happy and purring again thanks to shelter workers who used heating pads, blankets and hair dryers to warm her up [Spiffy]

Saturday 15 November 7:27:08 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The 25-worst places to buy a house according to The Weather Channel, common sense [Interesting]

Saturday 15 November 7:07:58 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Third grade teacher doesn't understand why parents have a problem with her going on a conservative internet talk show to complain about Muslims on food stamps having the nerve to ask for specially prepared food. And also she's hot [Interestin

Saturday 15 November 6:57:21 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [149 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Reunion

Saturday 15 November 6:35:45 UTC 2014

In 1892 Frederic Martyn was fighting in West Africa with the French Foreign Legion when he met with an incident “so remarkable that I hesitate to mention it, as it is pretty certain to be regarded as a mere traveller’s tale”: A Dahomeyan warrior was killed while in the act of levelling his gun, from behind a cotton tree, at … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 50-year-old Homer man attacked by shark in Hawaii. Mmm… shark in Hawaii [Scary]

Saturday 15 November 6:35:03 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [9 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 150 years later, a look back on Sherman's March as tough but fair [Interesting]

Saturday 15 November 6:05:24 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Substitute teacher slaughters, skins, and butchers live rabbit in class. Not surprisingly, somebunny has a problem with this [Obvious]

Saturday 15 November 5:49:05 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Golden Slumbers [Fail]

Saturday 15 November 5:49:00 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That video of the Syrian boy saving a little girl from sniper fire? Yeah about that… Norwegian film director admits that it was shot last summer in Malta, in order to provoke a global reaction about children in war zones [Followup]

Saturday 15 November 5:41:26 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just a typical Thursday, nothing to see here [Silly]

Saturday 15 November 5:34:38 UTC 2014

Silly [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Holy smokes: Agents bust Jesus with $20K in marijuana at airport [Amusing]

Saturday 15 November 5:34:23 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [9 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Say what you will about crazy billionaire Donald Trump but the man knows how to fly in style. Hell, the throne in the bathroom will make you… ummm, flip your toupee [Cool]

Saturday 15 November 5:29:12 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Come to Ohio, where you can be locked in a man's home for years and sold for sex. Yup… it happened again [Sick]

Saturday 15 November 5:26:21 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Misconceptions About Technology

Saturday 15 November 5:21:50 UTC 2014

More Videos…
10 Misconceptions About Pregnancy
27 Unbelievable Local Traditions
35 Jobs That No Longer Exist Don't miss an episode of mental_floss on YouTube—subscribe here. [Images and footage provided by Shutterstock.] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former elementary school being converted into legal pot factory [Strange]

Saturday 15 November 5:04:43 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Shhhhhhh…. Only dreams now [Followup]

Saturday 15 November 4:37:32 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Things We Learned from the American Museum of Natural History's New Exhibition on Natural Disasters

Saturday 15 November 4:30:49 UTC 2014

This weekend, the American Museum of Natural History opens its latest exhibition, Nature’s Fury: The Science of Natural Disasters. Originally created by the Field Museum, the exhibition looks at earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis, hurricanes, and tornadoes, and has been updated with a New York angle: Visitors will be able to see an interactive table displaying the effect of and response to … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "At 27, I still live at home with my parents–AND I LOVE IT. My boyfriends, not so much because they have to be quiet during sex. And sometimes dad gets out his gun and cleans it" [Silly]

Saturday 15 November 4:05:36 UTC 2014

Silly [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Magnitude 7.3 earthquake strikes Indonesia, tsunami warnings issued [News]

Saturday 15 November 3:55:28 UTC 2014

News [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jose Canseco's partial hand in Vegas poker room leads to greatest tweet ever [Fail]

Saturday 15 November 3:51:37 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Thrilling Stops on America's Best Antique Roller Coaster Tour

Saturday 15 November 3:47:00 UTC 2014

Roller coaster technology is constantly improving, but if you’re looking for a real thrill, sometimes the older coasters provide the most fun. Here are 11 classics that are still must-visits for thrill seekers. 1. Cyclone: Brooklyn, NY. Astroland (Coney Island) The Cyclone may not be the oldest or the biggest coaster in the world, but it is arguably the most … [Link]

FMyLife » gspotter says FML

Saturday 15 November 2:37:42 UTC 2014

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML [Link]

FMyLife » overseasbummer says FML

Saturday 15 November 2:37:41 UTC 2014

Today, my wife and I had an argument serious enough to end our marriage, while overseas on vacation, with my whole family present. Three more days of awkward tension until we get to fly home and it all ends. FML [Link]

FMyLife » shreking_bawl says FML

Saturday 15 November 2:37:40 UTC 2014

Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Reilly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explained stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A 4-year-old part-beagle named Buddy didn't wait for an invitation to see his 85-year-old master at a Texas hospital, he hitched a ride on the ambulance. Give that dog a steak [Cool]

Saturday 15 November 2:35:53 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Find Out What Famous Brains Are Most Like Yours

Saturday 15 November 2:30:00 UTC 2014

They say great minds think alike, but which ones specifically? Thanks to GE neuroscientists and BrainMic, you can take this quiz to find out which famous people's brains are most like your own. Think of it like this: if your brain was a baby, who would the parent brains be? In my case, it's Abraham Lincoln and Emily Dickinson (I … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Couple arrested after getting sexually aroused at a Massachusetts strip club. Imagine that [Asinine]

Saturday 15 November 2:17:49 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "LaShamanda has a heterozygous big bootie, the dominant trait. Her man Fontavius has a small bootie which is recessive. They get married and have a baby named LaPrincess. What is the probability that LaPrincess will inherit her mama's big boo

Saturday 15 November 1:56:07 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A mall in Buffalo, NY will fine any store that does not open on Thanksgiving for holiday shopping. Stupid tag doesn't seem fitting [Stupid]

Saturday 15 November 1:55:58 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man arrested after TSA agents find cocaine hidden in raw meat. Charges filed by U.S. DA [Fail]

Saturday 15 November 1:50:56 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this trainee gaining experience [Photoshop]

Saturday 15 November 1:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine: Patti Smith to play the Vatican Christmas concert. Yes, really [Amusing]

Saturday 15 November 0:55:09 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Five-year-old boy passes exam to become Microsoft Certified Professional in spite of being younger than most Microsoft bugs [Interesting]

Saturday 15 November 0:21:13 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » World Trade Center window washers on their near death experience TL DR version: "It was scary" [Obvious]

Saturday 15 November 0:11:46 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [14 comments] [Link]

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