Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML [Link]
FMyLife » killme says FML
Today, after nearly two weeks of being stressed out due to financial issues, I decided to spend my last 4 dollars on stress-relieving body wash. Apparently this particular body wash causes me to break out in hives and now I have no money for rash cream. FML [Link]
FMyLife » izzy46111 says FML
Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » KFC unveils new loaded potato bowl that is certain to clog your arteries and destroy your soul [Sick]
[link] [98 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Child molester who tracked down and murdered his victim's father said he escaped from prison and fled to South America to escape "vigilante justice system." With suitably sociopathic photo [PSA]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Nicki Minaj Apologizes For Nazi-Inspired Music Video
Singer Nicki Minaj apologized this week after her new music video received widespread backlash for depicting scenes with Nazi-inspired imagery, including swastika-like symbols on red flags, saying that she “would never condone Nazism in [her] art…. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Study confirms that the younger you start smoking pot the dumber you become. How did they figure this out? By asking 30 year old people who have been smoking for three decades or more [Fail]
[link] [135 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You might want to sit down for this: the Mormons have announced that Joseph Smith was a polygamist [Obvious]
[link] [126 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » First Impressions
Shortly before its orchestral premiere in 1885, Johannes Brahms performed his fourth symphony for a small private audience in an arrangement for two pianos, played by himself and Ignaz Brüll. After the first movement Brahms paused to assess its effect, and critic Eduard Hanslick, who was turning the pages, said, “For the whole movement I had the feeling that I … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New typeface designed to help read dyslexics online [Cool]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Obamacare Architect: Law Passed Because Of ‘Stupidity Of The American Voter’
In a video that leaked on the internet this week, a lead consultant for the Affordable Care Act said that President Obama’s signature health care law was only able to pass because “the stupidity of the American voter” allowed its archite… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Theme: Celebrities with beards [Photoshop]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Putin learns that he can't charm every woman on earth [Amusing]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: Sesame Street’s 45th Anniversary: A Look Back
Sesame Street, the long-running PBS children’s television show starring a cast of Jim Henson muppets who teach children basic learning concepts and introduce them to difficult issues, turns 45 this week. 
[Link]
The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » Trail runners VS mountain goats
View [Link]
The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » How to hug an attractive person
View [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mom, why is the 'MythBusters' guy working for McDonald's now? [Sad]
[link] [254 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Do you do embarassing things over the internet? Of course you do. Here is a way to fix that. Difficulty: Firefox [Amusing]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Starting next week NYC cops will treat weed like an ordinary speeding ticket. Starting this week, top cop Commissioner Bratton looks to have dipped into the bag a little early [Spiffy]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Artist falls from window after accidentally breaking into a flower shop he mistook for a friend's apartment. It doesn't take long to get to the part about how 'alcohol was involved' [Fail]
[link] [10 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Why pull the fire alarm in a store to create a distraction so you can steal merchandise, when a firecracker will have the same effect [Florida]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » From today's correlation-may-BE-causation desk, obesity rates around fast food joints found to be higher than in places where people don't have 24-hour access to a Fatbomb Deluxe from a place with a drive-up Rascal window [Obvious]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Boston marathon bomb victim throws leg a break-up dinner party before it's amputated [Spiffy]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The great thing about having surveillance cameras in your home is that when you're 1,000 miles from home, you can see the burglars perfectly as they steal your treasured possessions [Florida]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Captain of sunken South Korean ferry receives 36 years in dry dock [Obvious]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man tells Dear Prudence he's a sexual stud. Hell, sounds like he's telling everyone [Amusing]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » For Veterans Day, share stories about military service here, whether it's your own or someone else's. Link goes to deals and freebies for veterans [Hero]
[link] [244 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Archaeologist proposes renovating the Roman Colosseum for concerts and sports. Which actually makes sense since it already has a better plumbing system than the Oakland-Alameda Coliseum [Unlikely]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter #12: Veterans Day in Farkistan [FarkBlog]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Reminder – If you're going to steal a musical instrument to resell, don't choose one of the 600 well-documented and photographed Stradivarius violins [Followup]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Jay Cutler: ‘I’ll Be The First Person To Admit We Need A New Punter’
CHICAGO—Following the team’s blowout 55-14 loss to the Green Bay Packers Sunday night, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler told reporters Tuesday that he would be the first person to admit the team is in dire need of a new punter. 
[Link]
The Onion » Young Child Still Developing Antibodies To Mountain Dew
RADNOR, PA—Explaining that the child’s fever, nausea, and general discomfort were “completely normal” following his recent exposure to the substance, pediatricians at Radnor Health Associates informed the parents of local 5-year-ol… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Russia launches Sputnik. This is not a repeat from 1957 [Interesting]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » LittleRed79 says FML
Today, my cat tunneled her way under the covers to sleep beside me. It was really cute until she panicked in the middle of the night and practically skinned me alive trying to find her way out. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » City realizes that allowing liquor sales until 4AM might be a bad idea [Florida]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So, if a man has counterfeit $20 bills and decides to pass them at a harmless yard sale, what are the odds he picks the only one run by a bank teller? Show all work [Fail]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Google signs a 60-year lease on a massive dirigible hangar owned by the US Navy. Why? You ask too many questions, Mr. Bond, a habit that could get you into trouble someday [Interesting]
[link] [100 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: "Tort" Law
[Link]
Mental Floss » How We Came to Make Wishes on These 11 Things
Happy 11/11! Today is considered a lucky day for the superstitious, and a great day to make a wish if you happen to catch the clock when it hits 11:11. Almost everyone has made a wish on a coin before dropping it into a well or before blowing away an eyelash, but where did those traditions come from? 1. Birthday … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Help Fight Ebola. For every $1 you give, Google will give $2 [Cool]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Pepsi Testing ‘Dewitos,’ Doritos-Flavored Mountain Dew
Pepsi officials have confirmed reports that the company is testing a Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew called Dewitos at select colleges around the country. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Just think what you could do as the legal department. We could be czars. We could own the city. We could be in the real estate business. We could become Houston, Texas, no zoning. Whatever, who knows. But it's amazing that it's going on&
[link] [76 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Opinion: No One Should Have The Right To Die Until God Is Done Toying With Them (by Amy Foster)
By Amy Foster 
[Link]
The Onion » Report: None Of Good Cousins Coming To Thanksgiving This Year
SCHENECTADY, NY—In a highly disappointing development expected to put a damper on the entire holiday weekend, sources within the Cunningham family confirmed Tuesday that none of the good cousins are coming to this year’s Thanksgiving gathering… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » The best use case for Apple AirDrop or Android Beam involves sloths, because people whose phones are configured to accept file transfer requests from nearby strangers' phones should be grateful that it only involves sloths [Amusing]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hawaii's Kilauea volcano starts impromptu luau in town [Scary]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Japan, always at the forefront of the needlessly strange brassiere industry, has revealed its newest breast-supporting wonder – a bra that can change its color and pattern when it touches a like-minded bra [Strange]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Argument over 'Battleship' sinks man [Dumbass]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Your Horoscopes — Week Of November 11, 2014
ARIES: Sometimes the exact right thing falls right out of the sky and hits you between the eyes, which will be the case next week after the bowling-ball plant upwind from you explodes. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Brooklyn longshoreman suing for sexual harassment, says a male supervisor once tried to slip a finger in his back dock even though that's an unloading zone only [Interesting]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Ebola outbreak that threatens to destroy the U.S. is having trouble getting started [Followup]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mystery couple tip waiter $1,500 and 48 beers [Cool]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There's a special place in Hell for the kind of person who would ransack a free community library [Sad]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Gun stores in Ferguson report nearly empty shelves as people on both sides of the Michael Brown situation await grand jury verdict, subsequent "John Wayne shootout" [Scary]
[link] [255 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Legal Cases with Crazy Names
Batman v. Commissioner, Terrible v. Terrible, Schmuck v. United States, and eight more real court cases. [Link]
The Onion » Man Has No Idea What To Do With Visiting Friend Between Meals
CHICAGO—Struggling to piece together an itinerary for the upcoming weekend, 27-year-old Greg Randolph confirmed to reporters Tuesday that he has no idea what to do with his visiting friend between meals. 
[Link]
The Onion » Completely Uninhibited Party Guest Still Choosing To Talk About Work
CHICAGO—Although the account manager’s inhibitions had disappeared completely after he consumed his third beer, sources at a house party attended by staff members of Stratway Media confirmed this evening that their colleague Jeremy Norton was … 
[Link]
The Onion » Report: America Still World Leader In Manufacturing Excuses
NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—Revealing that Americans still excel in assembling all types of justifications, a report released Monday by researchers at Rutgers University confirmed that the United States remains the world’s unrivaled leader in manufactur… 
[Link]
Weird Universe » Hermaphroditic Frogs
All he's saying is that it makes hermaphrodites of frogs. That's all!
NY Times – Apr 17, 2002
via Lou Ciccone [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Texas woman has surgery to reduce size 36NNN breasts to a more manageable Double-D. Her knees reportedly miss the company [Interesting]
[link] [103 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Reading List
Just a reminder — the new Futility Closet book, Futility Closet 2: A Second Trove of Intriguing Tidbits, is available now at Amazon. It contains hundreds of hand-picked favorites from our 10-year archive of curiosities in history, literature, philosophy, mathematics, and art. Some sample items from the index: communists, driving habits of, 73
trombones, and hair loss, 139
prayers, Canadian, … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The first Allied troops to reach the Rhine at the end of WWI were the Harlem Hellfighters — African American troops who, after they'd won the war, returned home to a country that treated them like dirt. And so it goes [Hero]
[link] [68 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these happy campers [Photoshop]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » One of the downsides of living with Britain's "most jealous wife" besides her snooping around with everything you do? Having to take a lie detector test every night when you get home to see if you were unfaithful [Dumbass]
[link] [126 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Johnny Jupiter
There's a bit of Jim Carrey to our hero Ernie.
Full story here.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mother claims her 4 year old is inhabited by the ghost of a Marine killed in the 1983 barracks bombing in Beirut. Kid knows where the Marine lived, who his friends were [Scary]
[link] [101 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man offers to pay undercover female police officer a chicken dinner and three buck-buck-bucks in exchange for sex [Florida]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cold War veterans seek recognition for their service. Unknown if the veterans of the Cola wars want the same [Obvious]
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Remember all those times when Pizza Hut would introduce a cool new type of pizza but only non-Americans were allowed to enjoy it? Well, our time has finally come, my fellow Yankees. On November 19th, our long national nightmare will be over [Followup
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » mouthwash says FML
Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Ltsdragons says FML
Today, I was so lonely, I caught myself whispering to my food just so I had someone to talk to. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Caption these NASCAR drivers [Caption]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » "Tort" Law
[Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Pee-Wee is Back!
Paul Reubens on the new Pee-wee Herman movie and being “the luckiest boy in the world.” If you’re like me, you’ll read the whole interview in Pee-wee’s voice.
*
Science Says Lasting Relationships Come Down To 2 Basic Traits. If you’ve been around the block a couple of times, you can probably guess them before you read the article.
* … [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Questions for Snow Artist Simon Beck
Snow angels and snowmen are fun to make, but they’re not exactly sophisticated. Simon Beck’s intricate snow art, on the other hand, is incredible—especially considering he creates his pieces by walking, without being able to see what he’s doing from above. In the decade since he started, Beck has created 175 snow drawings (and, this year, started making drawings on … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police in Norway were shocked to find the screams coming from an apartment belonged to a lone chess player, angry with his performance during a game against his computer [Amusing]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 80-year-old man takes advantage of gun amnesty programme in unusual way, hands unexploded WW2 mortar bomb to authorities. "He had maintained its appearance with regular cleaning" [Strange]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I realized why I never hear my voice echoing when I sing to my boyfriend on Skype; he just mutes me. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Dramatic Photos from World War I
To commemorate Veterans Day, here are 11 photos highlighting different aspects of the war. [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Famous Books That Have Proven Impossible to Film
Not from a lack of trying. [Link]
Futility Closet » Far From Home
This is a detail from the allegorical painting Taste, Hearing and Touch, completed in 1620 by the Flemish artist Jan Brueghel the Elder. If the bird on the right looks out of place, that’s because it’s a sulphur-crested cockatoo, which is native to Australia. The same bird appears in Hearing, painted three years earlier by Brueghel and Peter Paul Rubens. … [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Movements to Replace Common Things
While the world around us is in a constant state of flux, it’s nice to know that some things never change—until now. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man learns 'til death do us part included getting electrocuted installing a dishwasher because he failed to take off his wedding ring [Florida]
[link] [95 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In wake of Virgin Galactic crash, 20 pre-paid passengers decide they'd like to keep their galactic virginity, request refunds [Obvious]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fifteen hikers that were lost in the Southern California mountains found safe before they became the next Donner Party [Sappy]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man survives after being trapped under his crashed SUV for seventeen hours: "He caught rain water in a little can to drink. He made a pillow out of grass, stuffed his shirt full of grass" [Cool]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Starting at 8 PM Pacific, tune in to SHOUTCast station SI Radio for two hours of remix-heavy energetic music from TFarker Cyclometh [Audio]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Take a dusty moment to enjoy the eulogy written by Lydia Magliozzi, daughter of Car Talk co-host Tom Magliozzi, for her father. Bonus: limericks [Sappy]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Upside: free beer for the rest of your life for $2,000.00. Downside: you have to move to Texas [Cool]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » McDonald's recalls Happy Meal toy for choking risk, but refuses to do the same for its food [PSA]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Innocent man is tired of Nancy Grace's shiat, sues HLN anchor for constantly referring to him on-air as "Selfie Stalker" and continuing to air his photo while covering Denver woman's home invasion. Tot Mom eagerly waiting to see how t
[link] [193 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New York City's streets are less safe now thanks to Bill de Blasio's new 25 MPH speed limit [Unlikely]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Hamburger Chain Locations Across the U.S.
Burger geography! [Link]
Mental Floss » Previously Unpublished John Steinbeck Story Rediscovered
Although it never appeared in print, John Steinbeck's "With Your Wings" was first heard by an audience over 70 years ago. Orson Welles read the story on air as part of a wartime radio broadcast in July 1944; from there, it disappeared—until Andrew F. Gulli, managing editor of the Birmingham, Michigan-based quarterly magazine The Strand, found a transcript of it … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this picture-perfect scarf [Photoshop]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman cleared of smuggling heroin in her underpants after court finds there was no evidence the package contained drugs. Police only found crack [Interesting]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
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