Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » More people arrested in Fort Lauderdale for the heinous crime of feeding the homeless. Reports of a guy with seven loaves and seven fishes among those arrested have been unsubstantiated [Florida]
[link] [268 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "When I'm in the water, I'm thinking what he's thinking; he's thinking what I'm thinking. I think the alligator feels peace" [Florida]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » analgirl says FML
Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML [Link]
Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: November 1-9, 1914: A Global Conflict
A series of events in November 1914 give a good idea of the incredible scope of the Great War – a manmade catastrophe whose size and complexity seemed to defy human comprehension or control. [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 Movies and Albums to Showcase Your Home Entertainment System
Take one of these movies or albums for a spin, and you’ll be able to fully appreciate what you’ve put together. [Link]
Mental Floss » 8 Tips to Enhance Your Live Entertainment Experiences
Make your next outing even better. [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 Tricks for Enhancing Your Entertainment Experiences As You Travel
Whether you’re traveling for business or pleasure, it’s easier than ever to stay connected and entertained while on the road. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you were busted moving large amounts of heroin in the DC area recently the FBI would like a word with you…and it's all good, seriously, no seriously, it's all good [Sad]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Austrians believe they are at the center of the new Europe. This is not a repeat from 1938 [Unlikely]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 25th Anniversary of the Fall of Berlin Wall. Where were you when the wall fell? [Cool]
[link] [187 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There's a cop in Red Bank TN who will arrest you for DUI if you blow a 0.0. He don't care if he thinks you're drunk, it's an arrrestin. People in Chattanooga have learned to stay out of Red Bank for this and other reasons [Advice]
[link] [196 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ♫ Help, I need somebody. Help, not just anybody. Help, you know I need someone. Help ♫ [Fail]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Remain calm, all is well. 18,000 nurses prepare to go on strike regarding ebola preparedness [Interesting]
[link] [72 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Those thieves that broke into that columnist's car, the ones police were too busy to pursue? Of course they turned out to be on the state's most wanted list [Followup]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this triangulation [Photoshop]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dallas is Ebola free. OR IS IT? [Followup]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » NoBabies says FML
Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML [Link]
FMyLife » jlong9071 says FML
Today, I learned that when you're talking about your girlfriend's 6'4", 250 lb dad in a negative way, you should really make sure he isn't around first. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to … me not getting delicious food" [Stupid]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Looking back 25 years, it wasn't nuclear tipped weapons, columns of tanks or spies but a simple trip to a Houston area grocery store that made the Soviet hierarchy realize that European style communism was a lost cause [Interesting]
[link] [251 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Why do some high schools have 'mean girls' and others don't? This is not clique bait [Interesting]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 9 Smart Ways to Always Pick the Right Movie
Deciding what to watch can be the most difficult part of movie night. [Link]
Mental Floss » 4 Surprising Things That Actually Make Entertainment Better
Believe it or not, these things can actually make your entertainment consumption more enjoyable. [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I spent all day making preparations and buying food for my upcoming birthday. It's not for a party, though – none of my friends wanted to come. I'm preparing for the launch of the new World of Warcraft expansion. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Inventor of CorningWare has died in New York. His wake will feature lots and lots of casseroles [Sad]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 9 Ways to Enhance Your Music-Listening Experiences
Here are a few ways to take your music habits to the next level. [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: 3000 Spiders for Sale
For some people, one tarantula in the house is one too many. For anyone looking to acquire 3000 of the hairy arachnids for whatever inexplicable reason, this seller will throw in a container of Madagascar roaches free with purchase. Serious buyers only! * Scientific innovation isn't usually a competition with winners and losers, but notable geniuses Stephen Hawking and Alan … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dollar store princess wand contains suicidal demon bonus image. Yeah, some people have a wee bit of a problem with that [Strange]
[link] [86 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New Jersey cops use Donald Duck to ticket people for failure to yield. This shameful display finally ends Donald's community service for his indecent exposure conviction due to his 70-year lack of pants [Silly]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » ItGirl says FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML [Link]
FMyLife » Ergon_Talfo says FML
Today, after moving to a new neighbourhood, I went to meet my new neighbour. When she opened the door, all she said was, "Oh not you again!", and shut the door in my face. I have no memory of her. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dish Network CEO on Turner pulling CNN: "Unless they find the plane, it's pretty much a non-issue." Subby is a Dish customer and agrees completely [Obvious]
[link] [96 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 Predictions for the Home Entertainment Experience of 2024
You may be perfectly satisfied with your home entertainment set-up, but it’s poised to get even better with more innovation. If these educated guesses are any indication, the future will be bright and exciting. 1. You Will Paint Your TV Directly On the Wall 
iStock Think your flatscreen is thin? New technologies are so advanced, scientists have begun manipulating the … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » A Struggle for Survival Helps Youngsters Put Things into Perspective
Employee: Sounds like your kid might need to get some professional help.Boss: You know what I wanna do? Give that kid a fucking Valium and send him off to a wilderness camp!Employee: Uh…Florida [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 5PM That’s a Wrap
Security Guard: So I told her, “I’m ’bout to go over there & milk that goat. The baby’s gotta have sum’inta eat.” 9800 Kellner Road SW
Huntsville, Alabama [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Her Name Is RuPaul
Client with sick dog: I need to see the veterinarian on duty because my dog isn't feeling well.Veterinarian receptionist: Is your dog a male or female?Client with sick dog: She's a male.Wooster, OhioOverheard by: netty [Link]
Overheard In The Office » On the Plus Side, I’ve Lost Five Pounds Since We Became Friends
Queer temp on phone: God, I hate Lynn*! I can never spend any long periods of time with her because we can never eat. Why does she have to be anorexic? Why can’t she just be bulimic so she can at least eat with me and then puke it all up later? Hell, she can even use my finger or toothbrush!1515 … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Either a 75-Gallon Mixer or That Red-and-White Twine They Tie Cakes Up With
Elderly woman to husband: I told you we wouldn’t find it here! I told you the only place we’d find it was a hardware store or a bakery!Department store
Glendale, Arizona [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 1PM System Overload
CSR on phone: Help desk, this is James*.
[pause]
CSR: I am sorry, this is the PC and phone help desk. Sounds like you need the facilities help desk if a toilet is stopped up.
[pause]
CSR: Okay sir, I understand, but you need facilites, not the help desk.
[long pause]
CSR: Okay, is it a Windows toilet or a … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I'm Hoping It's As Dirty As It Sounds!
Female suit, in Finance & Technology floor of global investment bank: What's an integer?London
EnglandOverheard by: lexington [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "The upcoming cold snap is not a polar vortex. The polar vortex is something that's always been around, but it gained legs last winter as a new, scary-sounding way to describe cold weather on social media" [Followup]
[link] [121 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » What Exactly Is a Pixel and Why Is It Important for My TV?
“Pixel” is a term derived from the words “picture” and “element.” [Link]
Mental Floss » What Darth Vader Sounded Like On the 'Star Wars' Set
There's a muffled British voice coming out of Darth Vader's helmet. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Hello, Dream Job
Boss: Well, after the truckers release their load, they need their hoses to be blown down.Female intern, trying not to laugh: Hmm, well, that does make sense…Calgary
Canadia [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and Busted: Burrito. New Hotness: Croritto [Cool]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Because it's been recorded on an iPhone, the latest sighting of the Loch Ness Monster is for reals this time. Yeppars [Unlikely]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Give a hoot: Photoshop this looming owl [Photoshop]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » … For Sleeping with My Husband
Attorney: I’m so pregnant… My husband always says, ‘Honey, you’re a whale!’ And then I tell him, ‘Shut up! You’re an immigrant!’Admin: You should really stop saying that to him.Attorney: Well, he is, and it’s a term of endearment! Like when I call you a dirty whore!Hackensack, New Jersey [Link]
Weird Universe » If
Telly Savalas always seemed like an unlikely pop star. And yet, as Wikipedia notes, his version of "If" reached number one on the UK Singles Chart for two weeks in March 1975, and retains the record for being "the shortest title of any song to reach number one in the UK."
The parody version:
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » The World Chess Championships has it all: A male model, alien encounters and the soap opera of the game's elite [Cool]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If the question is "Can you get a divorce in Maryland in 30 days and have all the records sealed?" the answer is yes, if you are International Man of Mystery Mayo Shattuck III [Interesting]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 10AM Update Site
Supervisor: Internet access appears to be back up.
Accountant: I don’t care; hurl yourself out the nearest window immediately. 2005 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania [Link]
Weird Universe » Expensive Fish Meal
[Click to enlarge]
Original article here.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mother in a store with a screaming child: A) tries her best to quiet him down. B) apologizes to other shoppers. C) punches an annoyed customer in the face [Dumbass]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bowling alley worker's life was not spared [Sad]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » jennabee97 says FML
Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous S'wit says FML
Today, my anxiety got so bad that when I stole a sword in Skyrim and resisted arrest, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I ended up curling up on the sofa as my character got hacked to death on the TV. FML [Link]
Futility Closet » In a Word
ingram
n. one who is ignorant stupex
n. a stupid person ignotism
n. a mistake due to ignorance incogitant
adj. that does not think insulse
adj. lacking wit or sense crassitude
n. gross ignorance or stupidity parviscient
adj. knowing little; ignorant antisocordist
n. an opponent of sloth or stupidity [Link]
Fark.com RSS » German firefighters don gas masks and biohazard suits to rescue morbidly obese man, who for five years couldn't even wash himself with a rag on a stick [Scary]
[link] [137 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of live music from Juneau, Alaska, hosted by a farker. Come celebrate with us [Spiffy]
[link] [298 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » November 1-9, 1914: A Global Conflict
Wikimedia Commons The First World War was an unprecedented catastrophe that shaped our modern world. Erik Sass is covering the events of the war exactly 100 years after they happened. This is the 152nd installment in the series. While most of the important battles took place in Europe, as its name suggests the First World War was a truly global … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fire destroys MacArthur Park bookstore. With Amazon Prime, this fire is free [Sad]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cop: "I want to search your car." Suspect: "Get a warrant." Cop: *smacks suspect upside the head* [Scary]
[link] [345 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Friends and family are shocked, SHOCKED that a woman driving to work was hit by a train at a crossing with no crossing arms or lights. "I mean, it takes two seconds, you know, to not be looking and someone loses a life, like today" [Florida]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nana-nana Nana-nana Nana-nana Nana-nana Nana-nana Nana-nana Nana-nana BAT JAM [Interesting]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » thatsureshowedme says FML
Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I decided to use my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "grand" escape. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Faith-Based Employee Assistance Program
Upset worker: Oh, Lord! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!! Lord, help me!Voice from her speaker phone: You called?8900 NW 35th Lane
Miami, FloridaOverheard by: Cin [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Nine Out Of Ten Dentists Recommend Me!
Shift supervisor: What are you doing?Intense coworker: Working on my sparkle.Shift supervisor: Your what?Intense coworker: Once I sparkle, all the girls will want me! (turns to female coworker) C'mon, do I dazzle you?Wellington
New ZealandOverheard by: Still Not Dazzled [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Larry Gets the Hose Again
Sales manager: "you know 'silence of the lambs'? That happened to me one time."2159 Early Lane, Franklin, IN [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 3PM Take a Walk
Office girl: No one go in the ladies’ room. The Bathroom Bomber strikes again. 1520 Front Street
Yorktown Heights, NY Overheard by: miss earwell [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Her Existence is a Constant Reproach to Me
VP: It's a good thing that I hired the office manager because she would never hire me… too many flaws.Washington, DCOverheard by: Roxy [Link]
Overheard In The Office » They May Be Deltas
Guy #1: I really want to find this book that I read in high school… It was called, like, Brave New World or something.Guy #2: Um, no, you’re thinking of ‘I Can Show You the World.’Guy #1: Oh! … Wait, no, that’s that song from Aladdin.Guy #2: Oh, yeah… So what section would it be in?Guy #1: I don’t know, Fiction? … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "This is the craziest thing I've ever seen in New York, Even weirder than when Kiefer Sutherland followed me for a block in the West Village asking me if I wanted to do shots with him. Like any New Yorker, I kept walking" [Amusing]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » katnl21 says FML
Today, I swapped out my maternity gown for a regular old t-shirt. My visiting mother-in-law called me a fatass and said I need to lose weight. I'd given birth just 40 hours earlier. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Nice! I'm a Pisces.
Latino guy to new coworker girl: Nice to meet you. What do you do?
New coworker girl: I'm an art director. What are you?
Latino guy: I'm Latino. Advertising Industry Party
New York City, New York [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police Officers of the year candidates are being praised after responding to a report of a 86-year-old woman who was robbed while grocery shopping at Target and going beyond the call of duty by doing her shopping and paying with their own money [Spif
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Meth Addiction Played a Small Part, Too.
Recently promoted office worker to supply clerk, as the latter leaves a presentation: No wonder you didn't pass high schoolRochelle Park, New JerseyOverheard by: Blondie [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman arrested for eating pie and drinking wine in grocery store, not knowing what type of wine goes well with Hostess products [Amusing]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Latest Completely Authentic And True™ UFO abduction footage teleported from the furthest reaches of the North Dakota galaxy [Scary]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this mule in a manhole [Photoshop]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A US airstrike may or may not have taken out the head of ISIS along some of its other top leaders [Interesting]
[link] [111 comments] [Link]
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