John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Mental Floss » The History of One World Trade Center in 22 Photos

Monday 3 November 23:30:49 UTC 2014

Today, One World Trade Center—also known as the Freedom Tower—welcomes its first tenants. Here's a brief history of the tower, as told by the photos documenting its planning, construction, and grand opening. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Too many prayers on the field. Fifteen yard penalty [Florida]

Monday 3 November 23:30:48 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [167 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russian monument to Steve Jobs is taken down because teh ghey [Dumbass]

Monday 3 November 23:15:47 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » John Oliver shows everyone that the State Legislatures are the most powerful political bodies ever [Amusing]

Monday 3 November 23:15:11 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » They Don't Even Move Out at Eighteen Anymore

Monday 3 November 23:15:03 UTC 2014

Coworker on phone: Rachel, I'm at work, please don't bother me with… (slams phone down) Bitch! (pause) 16 year old bitch…Manhattan, New York [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "The sheriff then calls me and says 'hey, we got another one.'" [Amusing]

Monday 3 November 23:02:21 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Welcome to Obama's America: Where a white man can't threaten to massacre federal agents without being labeled a terrorist [Dumbass]

Monday 3 November 22:54:36 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Clearwater, Florida has nothing on New York city when it comes to wacky cults [Interesting]

Monday 3 November 22:51:22 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good ways a school board can spend $157,000: 1) Hire more teachers, 2) A shiatload of chalk 3) New computers. Bad ways: 1) Hiring an ex-FBI agent to monitor the social media activity of students to find reasons to expel the black ones [Scary]

Monday 3 November 22:45:35 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You can now go to the airport to take a flight with a set of R2D2 rolling luggage. Being pulled out of line for secondary TSA screening is a bonus with every set sold [Weird]

Monday 3 November 22:41:17 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [24 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » EliseV says FML

Monday 3 November 22:23:36 UTC 2014

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 3 November 22:23:35 UTC 2014

Today, I told my boss I'm going to quit, after months of being abused, doing meaningless work, and working late every day. I was soon given so many new projects that I didn't even have time to write my resignation letter. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 3 November 22:23:34 UTC 2014

Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." FML [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Nature Takes It Back

Monday 3 November 22:00:00 UTC 2014

These abandoned places are slowly being reclaimed by the Earth. * Shine like the top of the Great Pyramid. * Putting the "die" in diet: These charts explain what’s wrong with the things we eat. * Parenting is hard. These tricks can make it a little easier. * These photos of people hanging out in 1980s malls are, like, so … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Shoe collectors step back in time when they find a fully stocked Adidas shop in Buenos Aires that hasn't been disturbed since the 1970s [Cool]

Monday 3 November 21:56:19 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Joran van der Sloot stabbed in prison, Nancy Grace's whereabouts unconfirmed [Cool]

Monday 3 November 21:44:03 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [66 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Victoria’s Secret Under Fire For ‘Perfect Body’ Campaign

Monday 3 November 21:44:00 UTC 2014

Social media users are demanding that Victoria’s Secret take down its latest advertising campaign, “Perfect Body,” which plays off the title of its Body by Victoria bra but also has the words superimposed over pictures of tall, thin supe…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police not amused by Aussie who parked plane in front of pub to grab a drink [Amusing]

Monday 3 November 21:31:23 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Offbeat Holidays You Can Celebrate in November

Monday 3 November 21:30:39 UTC 2014

Once Thanksgiving hits at the end of the month, it's just a short slide into all the big name holidays with their own dividers in the card section at the drugstore. But until then, there are a range of far quirkier celebrations to partake in. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tom Magliozzi of Car Talk has died of Alzheimer's complications. Actual quote FTA: "In a statement announcing his brother's death, Ray said: 'Turns out he wasn't kidding. He really couldn't remember last week's puzzler&#39

Monday 3 November 21:25:58 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [217 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Firefighter forced to resign after shooting video of hose practice inside firehouse [Florida]

Monday 3 November 21:21:33 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Yes, this is Verizon calling. You've exceeded your data plan this month. Can we charge that $3200 to your credit card?" [Dumbass]

Monday 3 November 21:18:15 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Whatever you do, don't mention the War of Jenkins Ear [Obvious]

Monday 3 November 21:16:08 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [7 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For a mere $50,000 you can name a baby giraffe at the Dallas Zoo [Interesting]

Monday 3 November 21:15:56 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [35 comments] [Link]

The Onion » White House Lawn Covered In Congressional Campaign Signs

Monday 3 November 21:15:00 UTC 2014

White House Lawn Covered In Congressional Campaign Signs
[Link]

Mental Floss » Name All of Bubba's Shrimp Dishes in Forrest Gump

Monday 3 November 21:06:58 UTC 2014

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's drunk, and then there's "passed out at an intersection with three kids in the car" drunk [Sad]

Monday 3 November 21:05:23 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this manual labor [Photoshop]

Monday 3 November 21:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The latest network that may disappear from DirectTV? That would be AMC. Bonus: could happen in the middle of the Walking Dead season [Dumbass]

Monday 3 November 20:49:13 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [97 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Sportsgraphic: NFL Week Nine Winners And Losers

Monday 3 November 20:48:00 UTC 2014

Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the ninth week of the NFL season: Winners Rex Ryan: Moving closer to dream of coaching for team other than the Jets Johnny Manziel: Looked great warming up on the sidelines, sh…
[Link]

Mental Floss » The "Back to the Future" Blooper Reel

Monday 3 November 20:44:56 UTC 2014

I love bloopers: Star Wars bloopers, Star Trek bloopers (also TNG), TV drama bloopers, you name it. So I'm delighted to present you with a goofy gag reel from Back to the Future, one of our favorite movies. Warning: this is extremely juvenile, and the best part involves chocolate milk. Enjoy: And if you want a little more substance about … [Link]

Mental Floss » 14 of George Bernard Shaw's Most Brilliant Quotes

Monday 3 November 20:30:06 UTC 2014

George Bernard Shaw once said, "I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation." He had a lot of good ones to choose from. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're going to dress like a Fox News reporter, you better get ready to have your butt kicked by this guy. Complete with an 'I'm not even sorry I did it' mug shot [Amusing]

Monday 3 November 20:07:04 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [128 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Museum’s Audio Guide Informs Visitors How Much More They Getting Out Of Experience Than Others

Monday 3 November 19:47:00 UTC 2014

CHICAGO—In addition to providing background and analysis of the artwork on display, the audio guide for the Surrealists exhibit at the Art Institute of Chicago reminded visitors this week how much richer of an experience they were receiving than was…
[Link]

The Onion » Onion Poll: Do You Believe Nurses Returning From West Africa Should Be Quarantined?

Monday 3 November 19:43:00 UTC 2014

The Onion – America's Finest News Source
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Student loses his mind, sends school-wide email over stolen apple [Amusing]

Monday 3 November 19:41:20 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [71 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Homeless Child Apparently Unaware He Lives In Nanny State

Monday 3 November 19:40:00 UTC 2014

NEW YORK—Considering how these days the government in this country coddles its citizens from the cradle to the grave, an 11-year-old boy currently homeless on the streets of New York must be unaware he lives in a nanny state, reports confirmed this …
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49 manhole covers blown in the air in Tokyo? Ah, ah, ah [Unlikely]

Monday 3 November 19:37:52 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » On Halloween, some kid got a real treat [Amusing]

Monday 3 November 19:31:45 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lobbyist secretly recorded telling oil and gas execs to fight climate change-inspired regulations by presenting the facts and science that supports their position. Just kidding, he tells them to dig up dirt on the private lives of "green" act

Monday 3 November 18:47:11 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Strange States: New Hampshire’s Giant Pumpkin Weigh-Off and Regatta

Monday 3 November 18:30:38 UTC 2014

If you want to learn about someplace, you can always pick up a textbook. But if you want to get to know a place, you're going to have to dig a little deeper. And what you find there might be a little strange. The Strange States series will take you on a virtual tour of America to uncover the unusual … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you can't beat 'em, sue 'em. Washington Redskins suing 5 Native Americans who filed trademark petition against the team. Next logical step: use lawyers on the field to improve team's awful record [Stupid]

Monday 3 November 18:29:32 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [150 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So that kaiser-helmeted gorilla clutching a brain-splattered club in one hand and carrying a bare-breasted blonde chick in the other is Germany, right? Got it [Interesting]

Monday 3 November 18:26:54 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "On the bright side, we can always rebrand ourselves as 'Dave's Legally Insane Bread'" [Followup]

Monday 3 November 18:22:56 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Historic Red Fox lounge closing its doors as owners claim it's the big one, Elizabeth [Sad]

Monday 3 November 18:14:05 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And the best whisky in the world, (sorry Scots) is this Yamazaki Single Malt from Japan, according to the Whisky Bible [Interesting]

Monday 3 November 18:13:41 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "One of the men pulled a gun, which is certainly against all the rules of wrestling" [Dumbass]

Monday 3 November 17:59:10 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [43 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Man On Gurney Has Brief Word With Protagonist Before Entering Ambulance

Monday 3 November 17:52:00 UTC 2014

LOS ANGELES—After lifting a wounded police detective onto a gurney and wheeling him out to the street, paramedics reportedly paused for 15 seconds before loading the man into the back of an awaiting ambulance Wednesday night while he exchanged a few…
[Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Math Square #239

Monday 3 November 17:42:49 UTC 2014

The mentalfloss.com Brain Game proudly presents Monday Math Square #239. Enjoy! Place the digits 1 through 9 in the white blanks so that the mathematical equations work both across and down. Each digit 1 through 9 should appear only once in the main grid (the red square). Here is the SOLUTION. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » School of Mines students rescued in the high mountains. Now there's a shocker [Obvious]

Monday 3 November 17:31:48 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The same fine gentlemen that brought you "The Fappening" are now trolling Whisper for non-celebrity photos to steal [Asinine]

Monday 3 November 17:30:36 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter #11: Putting the No in November [FarkBlog]

Monday 3 November 17:08:05 UTC 2014

FarkBlog [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » National average gas price now lower than $3 a gallon, possibly due to political turmoil, oil production or the fact that no one can afford to buy cars anymore [Interesting]

Monday 3 November 17:00:01 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finally, faster internet is a reality. In the middle of the ocean [Silly]

Monday 3 November 16:54:20 UTC 2014

Silly [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well, there goes any productivity this week…maybe this month. 900 classic video games playable in your browser [Cool]

Monday 3 November 16:50:11 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [204 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Study: Women With More Children Are More Productive At Work

Monday 3 November 16:37:00 UTC 2014

Contradicting claims that motherhood negatively affects work productivity, a new study from the Federal Reserve Bank of St.
[Link]

The Onion » Majestic Pine Recruited For Yosemite By National Park Headhunters

Monday 3 November 16:24:00 UTC 2014

YOSEMITE VILLAGE, CA—Saying that it would be an extremely valuable addition to the park’s current team of flora, headhunters from the U.S. National Park Service confirmed Friday
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tower of London is surrounded by red poppies today to honor the soldiers killed in World War I. Know who else had a kingdom surrounded by poppies? [Hero]

Monday 3 November 16:06:40 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember all those Atari E.T. cartridges unearthed in a landfill? They're going on sale on Ebay today. "We don't even have an idea how much they are going to be" [Silly]

Monday 3 November 16:03:27 UTC 2014

Silly [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Emma Watson dedicates her British Artist of the Year award to her hamster. Well, I haven't heard that slang term before, but sure, I guess it works [Interesting]

Monday 3 November 16:00:14 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 20 Things You Might Not Know About 'Garfield'

Monday 3 November 16:00:06 UTC 2014

1. Creator Jim Davis originally intended to focus the strip on Jon. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Native American Tribes

Monday 3 November 16:00:03 UTC 2014

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » In an effort to combat Rule 34, the FBI proposes Rule 41 [Scary]

Monday 3 November 15:50:13 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Are Smart People Referred to as “Poindexters”?

Monday 3 November 15:30:00 UTC 2014

The word we use to describe a particularly studious egghead comes from, of all things, a cartoon. Felix the Cat made his big screen debut in 1919, when films were still silent. The mischievous feline was the first animated character to become a bona fide box office draw, and he was also the first giant balloon included in New York’s … [Link]

The Onion »  Owner's Box: Andrew Luck Questionable After Finding Out About Death

Monday 3 November 15:30:00 UTC 2014

OSN's fantasy guru, Perry Bigwell, says fantasy owners should sit Andrew Luck in tonight's Monday Night Football game since the quarterback is struggling with the concept of death.
[Link]

The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of November 3, 2014

Monday 3 November 15:30:00 UTC 2014

The Week In Pictures – Week Of November 3, 2014
[Link]

The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: Just My Type

Monday 3 November 15:15:00 UTC 2014

Just My Type
[Link]

FMyLife » literature says FML

Monday 3 November 15:07:36 UTC 2014

Today, we are reading Animal Farm in class. Almost the entire class think it's about animal abuse. Including the teacher. FML [Link]

FMyLife » SelfServiced says FML

Monday 3 November 15:07:35 UTC 2014

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML [Link]

FMyLife » boobear511 says FML

Monday 3 November 15:07:34 UTC 2014

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML [Link]

FMyLife » ethawesome1125 says FML

Monday 3 November 15:07:33 UTC 2014

Today, I found a $20 bill on the ground, so I decided to pick it up. It was actually attached to a string and was meant to be a prank by some kids. They failed miserably, so I took the money. They ran up to me and punched me in the balls for taking their cash. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Spaceship 2's braking devices deployed early. But that's not what caused the crash. So, um, nothing to report here except for celebrities asking for a refund for their upcoming trips [Followup]

Monday 3 November 15:05:25 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I'm More Of a Poisoner Than a Stabber

Monday 3 November 14:53:44 UTC 2014

Cubie #1: Looting is terrible. I don't know if I could loot.Cubie #2: Me neither…I could embezzle, but I couldn't loot.Waltham MA [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Write It on the Bathroom Wall! Hee!

Monday 3 November 14:53:43 UTC 2014

Officer #1, laughing about peeping tom suspect: I just heard that guy say that he only did it cause it was Saturday.Officer #2: He needs to quit jacking off outside people's windows. Somebody needs to tell him he's a nasty little pervert. Did he seriously say that?Officer #1: I swear that's what it sounded like. And even if he didn't, that's … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Gynecologists Can Get Rather Proprietary

Monday 3 November 14:53:42 UTC 2014

Tech guy on phone: It doesn't work? You let Jeff touch it?! You let Darth Moron touch it!Time Warner Cable Offices
New York [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Cougars R' Us Caters to a Very Exclusive Clientele

Monday 3 November 14:53:41 UTC 2014

Woman on phone: Crocodile Dundee in his underwear! (pause) Y'all have fun!Chattanooga, Tennessee [Link]

Weird Universe » Urine Stain Font

Monday 3 November 14:51:05 UTC 2014

Aravindan Thirunavukarasu wrote letters on a wall by peeing on the wall. Then he developed a font based on his pee letters. And he invites everyone to download his pee font from his website, The Art of Peeing. [via CityLab]

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » The new "hillbilly heroin" is…plain old heroin [Sad]

Monday 3 November 14:40:07 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alex from Target goes viral, and no one knows why. It's not news, it's… it's just not news [Silly]

Monday 3 November 14:35:33 UTC 2014

Silly [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » And I Was Too Busy Listening to the Voices to Really Watch It

Monday 3 November 14:00:46 UTC 2014

Peon: I’ve never seen a real-life fire before… Except for the one I started when I was in college.40th Street and 8th Avenue
New York, New YorkOverheard by: Whatever [Link]

Mental Floss » 101 Masterpieces: 'The Twilight Zone'

Monday 3 November 14:00:37 UTC 2014

For Rod Serling, TV was the perfect landscape to battle bigotry and corporate censorship. But was the nation ready for it? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this minor adjustment [Photoshop]

Monday 3 November 14:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Best Smartphones

Monday 3 November 13:23:27 UTC 2014

The Best Smartphones In The World, Ranked. And they have the price tags to match.
*
Fascinating Underground Worlds in Film. In which we learn of subcultures we’ve never heard of, whether they exist or not.
*
Sugar Is Not Toxic. The problem is only that we consume twice as much as we should.
*
Is It Possible To Craft A Great … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Viral outbreaks will never be stopped because of human stupidity [Obvious]

Monday 3 November 13:22:54 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Roto-Rooter Commercials

Monday 3 November 13:04:08 UTC 2014

Saving idiot housewives, time-stressed housewives, and horror fans from yucky stinky water troubles for decades.

[Link]

Overheard In The Office » And Waking Up With a Mouth Full Of Glue

Monday 3 November 12:58:21 UTC 2014

Blonde worker: Should I lick it?Male coworker: Excuse me?Blonde worker: The envelopes, should I lick them?Male coworker: We have sealing stickers…Blonde worker: I like licking!Kent, Ohio [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Howard, it's Jutting, Rurik Jutting. You're my lawyer, so I think you should know: I've killed a lot of people. There's a dead hooker in a suitcase on my balcony, and another one in the living room. I mean, I guess I'm a pretty si

Monday 3 November 12:27:47 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Available Now!

Monday 3 November 12:25:58 UTC 2014

Today marks the official launch of our new book, a collection of hundreds of hand-picked favorites from the site’s 10-year archive of the marvelous, the diverting, and the strange — the perfect gift for people who are impossible to buy gifts for, or for yourself! Like the website, Futility Closet 2: A Second Trove of Intriguing Tidbits contains hundreds of … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 10AM Order New Camera

Monday 3 November 11:57:42 UTC 2014

Boss: Damn it! My camera is dead again!
Receptionist: Didn’t you just replace those batteries a couple of days ago?
Boss: Yes.
Sales: Maybe you’re out of megapixels. 1003 Distribution Drive
Columbus, Ohio [Link]

Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 32: The Wow! Signal

Monday 3 November 11:56:37 UTC 2014


In August 1977, Ohio astronomer Jerry Ehman discovered a radio signal so exciting that he wrote “Wow!” in the margin of its computer printout. Arriving from the direction of the constellation Sagittarius, the signal bore all the characteristics of an alien transmission. But despite decades of eager listening, astronomers have never heard it repeated. In this episode of the Futility … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Putting out a face fire with a golf shoe, an Oontz of prevention, and bad news for Aunt Ebola: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/26 – 11/1 [FarkBlog]

Monday 3 November 11:54:43 UTC 2014

FarkBlog [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Best Korea has its first ballistic missile submarine… based on a 1950s Soviet design that the Russians scrapped in 1990 [Fail]

Monday 3 November 11:45:00 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [141 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » UK Council offers pamphlet to 13-year-olds with helpful tips on taking drugs, such as "wash your nose after doing cocaine" and "start with half a pill" of ecstasy. Some people have a problem with this [Interesting]

Monday 3 November 11:18:04 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Whatever. Distract Him While I Get the Rope

Monday 3 November 10:56:36 UTC 2014

Exasperated meeting contact: I think the temp I hired is mildly retarded, so I’m going to need your help with this.Concierge: My mother drank and smoked while pregnant with me.Penn and Liberty Avenues
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania [Link]

Mental Floss » Native American Tribes

Monday 3 November 10:21:00 UTC 2014

[Link]

FMyLife » demotivator says FML

Monday 3 November 10:09:29 UTC 2014

Today, I finally got off my lazy ass and start studying for my upcoming exam. It was going pretty well, until my classmate called and after I proudly told him about my sudden motivation, the only thing he had to say was, "You got the date wrong, the exam was on thursday." FML [Link]

FMyLife » Mojo0608 says FML

Monday 3 November 10:09:28 UTC 2014

Today, my 16-year-old brother once again scored well at a local archery competition. He got home and, once again, unleashed his "spectacular aim" at the toilet – or rather the toilet seat and surrounding floor. He refuses to clean the bathroom we share every single time he does this. FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Isn’t That an Adam Sandler Movie?

Monday 3 November 9:54:52 UTC 2014

Coworker #1, shadowboxing and humming: Dom, duh-duh, dom.Coworker #2: Are you singing Eye of the Tiger?Coworker #1: No, I am singing Rocky.Coworker #2: But that is Eye of the Tiger.Coworker #1: Are you sure? I thought it was Rocky.Coworker #2: No, it’s Eye of the Tiger.Coworker #1: What movie was that?Coworker #2: Are you a moron?1160 Battery Street
San Francisco, California [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Court says McDonald's can be sued after a customer suffered serious burns from a spilled hot drink. This is not a repeat from 1994 [Interesting]

Monday 3 November 7:53:16 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [260 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » failure says FML

Monday 3 November 7:08:02 UTC 2014

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I…" Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brittany Maynard, the terminally ill woman who moved to Oregon to use the Death with Dignity Law, has ended her life [Followup]

Monday 3 November 6:25:10 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [284 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why typos and mispellings don't really matter [Interesting]

Monday 3 November 6:11:04 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "The jobs of the future will be in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain. In either case, most of the work will be done by robots. And as you go forth today, remember always, your duty is clear: To build and maintain those robots"

Monday 3 November 4:30:20 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [235 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV. That's why this Canadian hospital is letting me assist in your rectal exam today [Strange]

Monday 3 November 4:14:32 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And here are the hottest toys of the holiday season, the ones you'll spend hours searching for and have to settle for a knock-off and hope that your children won't cry on Christmas [PSA]

Monday 3 November 3:32:23 UTC 2014

PSA [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's all fun and games 'til your jet-ski back-flip trick goes wrong [Scary]

Monday 3 November 3:04:44 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » News of the Weird, November 2, 2014

Monday 3 November 1:33:06 UTC 2014

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M395, November 2, 2014
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

Julian Assange, the Wikileaks publisher of state secrets and who remains holed up in the embassy of Ecuador in London, has signed on with an Icelandic licensing agent to sell Assange-branded high-end clothing, shoes, and various household goods in India and much … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this dirty Democratic protestor [Photoshop]

Monday 3 November 1:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 3 November 0:26:03 UTC 2014

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » The More Meetings We Have to Improve Things, the Worse Things Get

Monday 3 November 0:17:43 UTC 2014

Tech manager: The sales manager cannot take that complaint call because he is preparing to go to a CRM meeting.Tech supervisor: What is CRM?Tech manager: Customer relations management.Tech supervisor: Can you see the irony in that?Tech manager: Well, they are having this meeting so that this sort of problem doesn’t happen.Tech supervisor: Can you see the irony in that, too?Houston, Texas … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Raise Your Hand If You Hate Being First-Named by Strangers, Regardless Of Color

Monday 3 November 0:17:41 UTC 2014

Irate black secretary, getting off phone: Damn bill collectors, always asking for me by my full name. Know he didn't know me either, cause none of my friends call me Patricia, and he sounded white. Lord knows that I don't have any white friends.One Penn Plaza, ManhattanOverheard by: The white guy who thought he was a friend [Link]

Overheard In The Office » With Human Sacrifice? What Kind of School Did You Go To?

Monday 3 November 0:17:40 UTC 2014

Patent attorney: The US is like the popular kid in high school. Nobody likes ‘em, but you have to appease ‘em.1425 K Street, NWWashington, DC [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 12PM Plan New Office

Monday 3 November 0:17:39 UTC 2014

Boss: Hey, can you help me? I need to make a floor plan for the new office.
Underling: Yeah, sure. What are the dimensions?
Boss: It’s 10,000 square feet.
Underling: Yeah, but what are the dimensions?
Boss: What do you mean? It’s 10,000 square feet.
Underling: Yeah, but like what is the length and width?
Boss: Just make it 10,000 … [Link]

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