Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Overheard In The Office » And Finally Dove Headfirst Into Them?
Coworker: Remember that one guy that we interviewed that wouldn't stop staring at Rachel*'s tits?Madison, Wisconsin [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my boss is still refusing to fire my psychotic coworker, who's made it his mission to insult, annoy, bully and threaten me every day into making me quit. My boss is convinced the guy just has "assburger's" and that the company would get sued if we fired him. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Now that Halloween is over and you…er, I mean, your kids have a nice new stash of sugary lot, here comes the real question: How much candy can you eat? I mean, they eat. Yeah, "they" [Interesting]
[link] [76 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » helosthisshit says FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his 10th beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML [Link]
FMyLife » limegreengiraffe says FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » We finally found something worse than being stranded in Detroit: being stranded on the Detroit River [Scary]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Liberian Ebola survivors discover they have superpowers, though they hope they're useful powers like what Professor X and The Flash have and not useless ones like Wolverine, Superman, and Aquaman have [Interesting]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Drink [Followup]
[link] [114 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you've seen an axe-wielding maniac wearing a bunny suit, the Fairfax County authorities would like a word with you [Unlikely]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Frenchman dies after downing 56 shots, beating the bar's previous record of 55. "He swallowed around 30 glasses in the space of a minute." Pffft amateur [Stupid]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this model comrade [Photoshop]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Remember that we get an extra hour of sleep tonight because of the time change. Thanks, Obama [PSA]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Apply for a government job, get denied said job for refusing drug test, win lawsuit [Florida]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Broadway’s Theater Ghosts
Though Halloween has come and gone this year, some of Broadway's haunted theaters boast the presence of ghosts all year round. * The first issue of DC's Action Comics, featuring the fateful introduction of Superman to 76 years' worth of fans to come, is the costliest comic book of all time. Luckily, readers without $3.2 million to spare can access … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Columnist uses GPS to tracks thieves who stole wife's iPhone, reports location of thieves to police with predictable results [Obvious]
[link] [205 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Beauty and the Veil
I have often noticed at the Poetry Society that, after a poem has been read and applauded, when someone dares to get up and inquire what it means, there is likely to be a great outcry to the effect that one cannot analyze a beautiful thing. That is a basic absurdity and represents nothing but a variety of snobbery. Some … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man dressed as construction worker robs bank. Police also searching for his accomplices, which are said to include a cop, an Indian, a cowboy, and a biker [Strange]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Loveless Cop says FML
Today, my cop costume was so good that no one would talk to me out of fear that I might arrest them. FML [Link]
FMyLife » That Guy says FML
Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML [Link]
FMyLife » 4evalone says FML
Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A Brilliant Plan: UK government considered recruiting psychopaths to keep order after nuke attack [Weird]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » America's Melting Pot has bubbled over [Obvious]
[link] [132 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coming soon to a hipster bar near you: The Rum Martinez [Cool]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Remember that "convicted felon" with a gun who was in an elevator with the President, and how that contributed to the Secret Service boss resigning? Yeah, about that [Followup]
[link] [68 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Some people don't want children hanging around. Then there is this mom [Fail]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Science of Fire-Breathing
Dr. Tim Cockerill is an experienced fire eater who also happens to be a zoologist. In this video he walks us through the basics of fire-breathing, a process involving the careful mixing of fuel and air…and, we hope, a strong outward thrust of that fuel, to keep the fire well away from one's mouth. Enjoy, and seriously, don't try this … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There are nine incredibly strange islands on our planet. Eleven if you include Fantasy and Gilligan's [Strange]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here's a best case scenario: Beer truck accident starts an impromptu village party [Cool]
[link] [9 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for "cleaning up" county of "eyesores" from people "illegally dumping" in vacant lots, charged with stealing 244 political campaign signs. Bonus: Bragged about accomplishments with pics on Facebook [Florida]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If every spider could act more like the peacock spider, maybe they wouldn't always be getting smashed with a shoe [Spiffy]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Justice Project" coerces false confession from innocent man to exonerate guilty murderer. It's almost as if we should have some sort of "trial" with a lengthy "appeal" process to avoid this type of thing [Ironic]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » US Marine, arrested 8 months ago for crossing border into Mexico with loaded guns, released from jail. This should put an end to the whole ordeal, right? [Followup]
[link] [156 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New York City government worker suspended for using robotic voice, still feels justified in telling citizens that resistance is futile [Amusing]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Virginy says FML
Today, I was stuck in the elevator at my building, so I pushed the emergency button which made a ringing noise. After half an hour, I hear someone yelling to the elevator, "Could you stop pushing that button, there are kids sleeping." FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Patent issued for filming yoga class. That seems a stretch [Asinine]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Lamps. Lots of Lamps [Photoshop]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Just a reminder – If your ex-boyfriend sleeps with a gun, you might want to make sure he's perfectly aware you're coming by to pick up your stuff [Florida]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » If Only He Wouldn’t Make Major Adjustments in My Face
Foxy lady #1: My boss smells like he hasn’t bathed in a month. He smells like his private parts!Foxy lady #2: Gross like a huge unbathed dick.Foxy lady #1: Yeah.The Bronx
New York City, New YorkOverheard by: Banana Forest Thief [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Why Nigerian Emails Work
Coworker viewing a Myspace page: Jeff Buckley’s online! He’s dead, how is he doing this? Frances Avenue
Lancaster, Pennsylvania [Link]
Overheard In The Office » It's Basically Like Pringles.
Coworker #1: Hi Lori, what's going on?Coworker #2: I'm pregnant.Coworker #1: Again!?Coworker #2: Yeah, I can't get enough of it.Green Bay, WisconsinOverheard by: Addicted to Babies [Link]
Overheard In The Office » He's a Lucky Guy, Doc
Receptionist: Your husband is on line one.Chiropractor: I just had a stinky fart.Receptionist: Thanks for sharing!St. John's
Canadia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Thought His Brothers Had Beaten That Out Of Him
Concerned mother on phone with daycare: Does he normally hit his friends like that?Omaha, NebraskaOverheard by: Db's mom [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Boko Haram denies that they plan to release 219 kidnapped schoolgirls, re-release "A Whiter Shade of Pale" [Followup]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I dressed up as my friend for Halloween. He has a very distinct style and I thought my costume was pretty clever. When he saw me, he said he had never been so offended in his entire life, and now I feel like a complete asshole. FML [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Yes. But No.
Office pariah to 20-something wearing sweatshirt from recent vacation: Oh, Ireland… Is that some kind of college or something?TexasOverheard by: And then I died a little inside [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Military mandatory sex survey draws complaints over graphic, blunt questions. Geez, it can't be a real survey without inserting some deep, probing questions about body parts and orifices now, could it? [Amusing]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Six famous internet cats team together for the ultimate selfie, just in time for Caturday [Caturday]
[link] [952 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Belt Scooter
It's a scooter that you can wear as a belt when you're not using it. (Though I wonder how well it functions as either a scooter or a belt.) More info at behance.net.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Researchers create harness that translates body language of dogs – which will come in handy when trying to figure out what scooting across your carpet on his butt means [Interesting]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » You Know I'm Supposed to Be CCed on All That Correspondence
Curious coworker: Were you guys talking about teabags in the bathroom?University Park, Pennsylvania [Link]
FMyLife » Halloween Fail says FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML [Link]
Weird Universe » David Holzman’s Diary
I never knew of the existence of this film until reading the obituary of one of its creators, L. M. Kit Carson. As an ancestor of Spinal Tap and others of that ilk, it should appeal to WU-vies, I think.
Unfortunately, the entire video does not seem available online. There's a snippet above, and a mini-documentary about the documentary in … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Boys and Girls Are Just Wired Differently, Sweetie
Dad: So, I need a male audio cable and a video cable with two female connections on each end.Eight-year-old: Daddy…I thought males and females were like boys and girls. I'm confused.Dad: Um…don't worry about it.RadioShack
CaliforniaOverheard by: SK [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What does the world's hottest chilli pepper and an orchestra have in common? When one eats the other they make beautiful hot music together [Weird]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ever wonder what happens after you complain about the putrid freight trains packed with garbage idling in your neighborhood? Well, wonder no more [Asinine]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » really says FML
Today, my parents told me they don't think I'll ever find a boyfriend, and insist on referring to my future cats as their "grandkids". FML [Link]
FMyLife » grossedout says FML
Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML [Link]
Futility Closet » In a Word
aknee
adj. on one’s knees procation
n. a marriage suit [Link]
FMyLife » anonymous says FML
Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML [Link]
FMyLife » AnonymousAmber says FML
Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Patron Saints for Your Modern-Day Calamities
There are plenty of saints that cater to modern-day issues if you know where to look. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Alabama man robs four Subway sandwich shops because he was outraged the Jared diet didn't work [Fail]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Australia urges its medical workers to volunteer to help with the Ebola outbreak, as it's safer than being in the same continent as all the wildlife of Australia [Obvious]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Finland's first suspected Ebola patient confirmed to have the same strain of Ebola as everybody else suspected of having Ebola [Obvious]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » And now for your Halloween enjoyment, here's a 4-acre spider web inside a building [Scary]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » peanutprobs says FML
Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML [Link]
FMyLife » iliveformystery says FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML [Link]
FMyLife » hardwarekit says FML
Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Halloween Photos of the mental_floss Staff
I asked my co-workers to send me photos from Halloweens past. Here's how various members of the mental_floss team (or their kids and dogs) dressed up. Happy Halloween, everybody! Mangesh Hattikudur, co-founder/chief creative officer 
* Rebecca O'Connell, staff writer 
* Hannah Keyser, staff writer 
* Erin McCarthy, managing editor 
* Lucy Quintanilla, associate art director 
* Abbey Stone, staff editor … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Dance All the Kids Are Doing
Employee: Let me ask Roxanne to void it. She always cusses me when I void and toggle.Nashville, Tennessee [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Stupid Hillbilly Heroin
Pharmacist #1: We really need to stop doping before work, because this just ain’t workin’.Pharmacist #2: Yeah…405 Heathrow Court
Burr Ridge, IllinoisOverheard by: The Zar [Link]
Overheard In The Office » On Facebook.
Drive-thru cashier #1: He doesn't know you're pregnant, does he?Drive-thru cashier #2: No, he'll find out… the hard way.Newmarket
Ontario
Canadia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » One Of the Premises Behind Every Reality TV Competition
Manager: Oh, good. As long as she doesn't know what she's doing, we're okay.Manhattan, New YorkOverheard by: BeccaGo [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Plausible Deniability
Attorney: I need a [investi]gator for a hand job.Staff: Ha, ha! You mean a ‘hand delivery’?South Jefferson Avenue
Springfield, MissouriOverheard by: Left Lobe [Link]
Overheard In The Office » When Organ Donation Goes Awry
Male store clerk: She’s only seven, but she had the breasts of a thirty-year-old.Kroger SupermarketOverheard by: AmberRose Smiles [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Terrorism Totally Counts as Labor
Host: Well, I think that’s going to be September 11th. Check the calendar.Computer tech: September 11th? Isn’t that something important? Oh, that’s Labor Day, right?Host: 9-11. Computer tech, looking clueless: Ohhh. Well, okay.421 NW Riverside Drive
Evansville, IndianaOverheard by: Amanda [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Amateur sleuth believes the Zodiac Killer will soon be unmasked. No, really. This time for sure [Interesting]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 3PM Coffee Break
Employee #1: Sometimes I just get caught up in all this stuff, it’s so hectic.
Employee #2: You have to stop once in a while and find some sunshine.
Employee #1: I’d rather just find some moonshine. 50 West State Street
Trenton, New Jersey Overheard by: Jimmy Fingers [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man rowing across Atlantic attacked by pirates of the Caribbean, claims he only managed to survive once the pirates were attacked and killed by Disney copyright lawyers [Scary]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Before you go trick-or-treating, here's I-Mockery's ultimate guide to the Halloween candies of 2014 [Cool]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 13 Creepy, Kooky Facts About 'The Addams Family'
A lot of bad karma seemed to envelop the crew of 'The Addams Family' during filming. The Addams' probably would have found it funny. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Ooo, What About Muslims?
Male coworker: You should send the calls to the UK, since they'll be open tomorrow. They don't celebrate Thanksgiving. Who else will be working tomorrow?
Female coworker: Jewish people. No…wait, that's Christmas. St. Paul, Minnesota [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Since Ebola probably isn't going to kill you after all, it's time to fearmonger about exploding TV stands [Stupid]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man found to have 5 million porn images, or as Farkers would say, "an amateur" [Sick]
[link] [101 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this guy playin' it cool [Photoshop]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » A Brief History of Real Life “Werewolves”
In 1852, a man was admitted to the Asile d’Aliénés de Maréville, an asylum in France, claiming that his body had gone through a strange transformation. Though he appeared to be physically normal, he told his doctors that he had cloven feet and sharp fangs, and that his body was covered in long hair. He was convinced that he had … [Link]
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