Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » That "Satanist" who destroyed the 10 commandments statue in OKC? According to his mom he's actually a devout Christian with serious anger management issues. I guess the one about "graven images" really set him off [Followup]
[link] [134 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » subduedbeast says FML
Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, it's my 20th birthday. I recently came home from college to visit my family, after my mother had a stroke a few weeks back. She ended up being the only person who remembered to get me anything. She also thinks it's still 2009. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Radio GaGa says FML
Today, I watched my co-worker throw the mother of all temper tantrums. He's a radio personality, and just learned that he's not famous enough to use the "Don't you know who I am?" line to get out of a traffic ticket. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The librarians first became suspicious when patrons asked if the heroin dealer was in the 540s for chemistry, 660s for chemical engineering, or 150s for addiction [Dumbass]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 'ISIS sent me to violate your pit bull' [Sick]
[link] [93 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Tractor-trailer carrying 40,000 gallons of human waste overturns on highway, leaves drivers with an even crappier commute than they're used to [Fail]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's not funny when a 91-year-old man and an 84-year-old man get into fist fight over a parking spot. Okay, maybe it's a little funny [Amusing]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Canadians get back their politeness this week by shooting each other with BB guns instead of real ones. You'll shoot your eye oot, kid [Obvious]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Caption this confined cat's thoughts [Caption]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Hideous DIY Monster Make-Ups for Halloween
We here at mental_floss have long established that the older the costume-making technique, the more fantastically horrifying the results will be. Now, instead of just showing the end results, we’d like to share a few tips for making your own ghastly, homemade nightmares. The book Make-up Monsters and Creature Costumes provides instruction for creating terror using stuff Mom already has … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Baby showers are fun because you get to play silly games like "Don't Say 'Baby,'" "Guess the Mom's Measurements," and "Brawl in the Parking Lot" [Dumbass]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The guy who threatened to blow up a restaurant, the police station and the fire department was "released on his own recognizance" ? [Scary]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mother of drug overdose victim urges harm reduction for drug use at raves, claiming a pound of cure is worth less than an OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ of prevention [Interesting]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Timelapse: Braces Straightening Teeth
Prepare to be mesmerized, slightly horrified, and then say "Huh—those really work!" [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When people say America is #1, which part are they talking about? The part with the biggest cabbage? The most donated breast milk? Longest skid marks? [Interesting]
[link] [114 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: NY Governor: Ebola Quarantines Can Be Served At Home
Following pleas from the White House and medical experts, New York governor Andrew Cuomo said that medical workers who had contact with Ebola patients but don’t show any symptoms of the disease will be allowed to serve their quarantines at home inst… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Challenge: 'shop the Dark Lord's hand somewhere unexpected [Photoshop]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Silbax1 says FML
Today, I overheard my co-workers talking about how they don't need flu shots because everyone else gets them. These people are in the medical industry. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Things You Might Not Know About 'Beetlejuice'
Winona Ryder swears that Tim Burton's undead cult classic is about to be resurrected. [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: The 6 Best Companies To Work For
The Onion – America's Finest News Source 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » The wheelchair-bound man had several weapons and thousands of rounds of ammunition "in order to protect themselves against the 'Sonic Boom' by the United Nations." And it has nothing to do with why he was arrested [Sick]
[link] [109 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » For Arizona Latinos, "papers, please" apparently includes any cash you may have on you [Stupid]
[link] [128 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dying Area 51 scientist did not say it was aliens, but it was because of aliens that he reverse-engineered flying saucer technology for defence firm Lockheed Martin [Strange]
[link] [228 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 92-year-old woman foiled in her attempt at finding a farmer's market at the bottom of Belfast Harbor [Strange]
[link] [8 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Our national response to the Ebola outbreak has revealed the true American spirit, which is to say that there is no crisis or tragedy, no matter how bad, that somebody won't try to figure out a way to cash in on [Obvious]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Penn State Honors Legendary 2012 Legal Team During Halftime
STATE COLLEGE, PA—Recognizing their incredible contributions to both the athletic program and the school as a whole, Penn State University reportedly honored the legendary members of its 2012 legal team during halftime of Saturday’s football g… 
[Link]
The Onion » Grandfather Seems Proud Of How Many People Polio Killed
ALBANY, NY—Speaking with reverence about how rampant and devastating the disease once was, local grandfather Raymond Murphy reportedly appeared to be proud Monday of how many people were killed by polio during his childhood. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Warning: the moving sidewalk is now ending. Warning: the moving sidewalk is now ending. Warning: the moving sidewalk is now catching fire" [Scary]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter #10: The Sexy Offensive Costume Edition [FarkBlog]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Well, we all knew it was going to happen. The sexy Ebola nurse Halloween costume has arrived [Stupid]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Halloween Costumes for People Who Hate Dressing Up
Last-minute Halloween costumes for people who hate dressing up. All you need is a pen! * A project is under way to build a Pandora for Alcohol. All these guys need to do is buy every single beer in America. * This supercut compiles all the best movie demises of all time. * Death by sweets: John Oliver sets his … [Link]
Mental Floss » Bats Listen for the Sounds of Fly Sex
Wikimedia Commons “There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie,” Randy told us in Scream. “For instance, Number One: You can never have sex. Sex equals death, OK?” He’s right. For some reason, sex often draws out slasher movie villains, and when supporting characters hook up, they often also get chopped … [Link]
The Onion » Sportsgraphic: NFL Week Eight Winners And Losers
Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the eighth week of the NFL season 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man escapes from police custody and heads into the forest where he's promptly chased by coyotes and has to call the police for help [Dumbass]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
The Onion » 4 Angels Banished From Heaven For Attempting To Unionize
THE HEAVENS—Describing their behavior as insubordinate and disruptive, heavenly authorities banished four angels from the Kingdom of Eternal Life this week for attempting to unionize, sources from the hereafter reported. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » The Sign Language Interpreter for De Blasio’s Press Conference Was Deaf. How Does That Work?
At Mayor Bill de Blasio's press conference on the Ebola situation in NYC on Friday, the American Sign Language (ASL) interpreter attracted a lot of attention. Viewers commented on his animated facial expressions, posted screenshots, and joked about what he might really be saying. The same thing happened when the interpreter for a press conference about Hurricane Sandy was televised. … [Link]
FMyLife » DiiiDiiine says FML
Today, I cut myself pretty badly with a knife. I was bleeding quite a lot, so I yelled to my husband to bring me some kitchen roll, along with the first aid kit. He rushed in with the roll… to clean the floor. FML [Link]
FMyLife » TinyBouvier says FML
Today, my friend drove up a parking lot and I unbuckled my seatbelt as soon as we were parked. He then suddenly saw a better spot right in front and moved his car. When I got out, a police officer approached me, saying I wasn't wearing my seatbelt. I was fined for that. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Michigan police say motorist who hit zombie this week didn't stop after the accident. Well who the hell would? [Obvious]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Cookie Monster Makes a Pretty Convincing Harry Potter
It's Furry Potter and the Goblet of Cookies! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you've been waiting for mail for the past three years and you haven't gotten any, it may be because it's all stashed behind this postal worker's couch [Dumbass]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "To fix LA, we first must fix Skid Row." Sebastian Bach unavailable for comment, but he remembers yesterday…and he remembers you [Obvious]
[link] [105 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here's one more way smoking cigarettes can nearly kill you [Dumbass]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 32,000 pounds of breaded chicken fillets recalled, not fondly [Sick]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Kim Jong Un resumes looking-at-things duties [Amusing]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Camel Cigarette Maker Bans Smoking In Offices
Officials for the tobacco company that makes Camel cigarettes announced they are banning employees from smoking in corporate buildings beginning next year, saying, “We’re just better aligning our tobacco use policies with the realities of what… 
[Link]
Mental Floss » Why Were Chopsticks Invented?
It’s hard to believe for us Westerners who work up a sweat at the local P.F. Chang’s while trying to use chopsticks, but the spindly utensils were actually invented as a result of fuel conservation and Eastern philosophy. Around 5000 years ago, the ancestors of chopsticks were probably simple sticks used to retrieve food from the fire. Fast forward to … [Link]
Mental Floss » The Dishes 16 Writers Would Bring to a Literary Potluck
With recipes! [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Cut the "Cord"
[Link]
The Onion » 45-Year-Old To Help Candidate Understand Youth Vote
FAIR OAKS, CA—In his effort to gain critical insight into the priorities and inclinations of millennials, campaign sources confirmed Monday that seventh district congressional challenger Doug Ose enlisted the expertise of a 45-year-old political str… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Spoiler alert: Leaked Star Wars 7 concept art reveals that a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, non-disclosure agreements used to count for absolutely nuthin' [Cool]
[link] [248 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You can lead a horse to water, but you probably shouldn't let it fall in the pool [Interesting]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Remember how we promised you 3-5 days' notice before you'd have to get out of your house to avoid being buried in lava? Just kidding – get ready to leave tonight [Followup]
[link] [70 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Report: Cost Of Raising Neglected Children Still Low As Ever
WASHINGTON—In an encouraging sign for the nation’s most irresponsible parents, a report published Monday by the U.S. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: Math Square #238
The mentalfloss.com Brain Game proudly presents Monday Math Square #238. Enjoy! Place the digits 1 through 9 in the white blanks so that the mathematical equations work both across and down. Each digit 1 through 9 should appear only once in the main grid (the red square). 
Here is the SOLUTION. [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of October 27, 2014
The Week In Pictures – Week Of October 27, 2014 
[Link]
The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: Back In Black! Also: Gray, Tan
Back In Black! Also: Gray, Tan 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » There are many challenges that come with being a parent. The hell and agony of the morning school drop off may be the hardest. "The swear words flow like the kid floating down the canal on his Ninja Turtles backpack" [Obvious]
[link] [178 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Judge rules city's two-hour parking spots unconstitutional. "I will tell you the city does not agree with the order" [Florida]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Caption this… uh… well… make something up [Caption]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » An asteroid, just discovered Saturday and as big as a house, will pass within 160,000 miles of Earth on Monday. Nobody panic [Interesting]
[link] [104 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "The rise of the feminist Tinder creep-busting web vigilante" [Hero]
[link] [733 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When you rob a gas station it really doesn't matter if you return the money because you feel bad, you're still going to end up behind bars [Dumbass]
[link] [11 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Meet the half-blind sanctuary owner who hand feeds his 14 big cats–including a 700 lb Siberian tiger–and lets them cuddle in his bed. Yup. Sunshine State (awesome pics) [Florida]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these sexy socks [Photoshop]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Podcast Episode 31: Pigs on Trial
For 500 years of European history, animals were given criminal trials: Bulls, horses, dogs, and sheep were arrested, jailed, given lawyers, tried, and punished at community expense. In the latest Futility Closet podcast we’ll explore this strange practice and try to understand its significance to the people of the time. We’ll also rediscover the source of Futility Closet’s name and … [Link]
Weird Universe » Energy-harvesting jewelry
Naomi Kizhner's jewelry serves two purposes: 1) it's decorative; 2) it harvests energy from your body to charge your various electronic devices.
For instance, "The Blinker" gets energy from your blinks. The "Blood Bridge" is more invasive, tapping directly into a vein to power a hydro micro turbine.
However, you can't buy this jewelry because it's really just an art … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man filming girl in shower tries the old, "I was checking if my phone was waterproof" defense [Dumbass]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Behave Yourself! 10 Words for Good, Bad, and Indifferent Conduct
From our friends at Vocabulary.com, here are words describing people's behavior that are easy to confuse with other words, or easy to be confused about, period. [Link]
FMyLife » MySonThePoet says FML
Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two years after hurricane Sandy, survey finds New York and New Jersey more ready than ever to be swept away to sea [Followup]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Refreshment on the Job
The economy that soda built. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Study finds people to be more intrigued to go to restaurants and willing to pay more if expert reviews voice uncertainty about it instead of promoting it. Subby not sure if this should be greenlit [Interesting]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Cut the "Cord"
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » One man planted an entire forest, saved an island and defended herds of elephants, rhinos and tigers from poachers. And makes us all look like slackers [Spiffy]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » socreepedouticanteven says FML
Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Skeletons, Ghosts, and the Undead
Creepy Historical Drawings of Skeletons Contemplating Mortality. An eternal reminder of our inevitable fate -or maybe just a neat collection of pictures.
*
8 Movies We Can't Wait To See (Because We Loved The Book). Relax, you’ve got time to read them all before they hit the silver screen.
*
If We Taught Kids To Drive Like We Teach Sex Ed. … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police are looking for the man who entered the Lil Cricket convenience store with a milk crate, went behind the counter, started filling the crate with cigarettes and told the clerk, "leave me alone. I'm going to take what I want" before
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » mellielynnemily says FML
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Some of the greatest tombstone engravings of all time. "You were a great f-k" [Amusing]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Alaska State Troopers looking for a few good women [Cool]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » In a Word
cohonestation
n. honouring with one’s company William Cobbett, a writer who was to plague Noah for many years, probably invented one piece of Websterian apocrypha. Dr. Benjamin Rush, whom Noah had cultivated, supposedly met him upon his arrival and said: ‘How do you do, my dear friend. I congratulate you on your arrival in Philadelphia.’ ‘Sir,’ Webster allegedly replied, ‘you … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » California Highway Patrol chases golf cart on the freeway … at 10 mph [Strange]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man steals Lego to buy heroin, judge tells him he needs to start piecing his life together again [Amusing]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » University professor suspended for inappropriate sighing, being sarcastic, and inappropriate body language. Subby rolls his eyes [Dumbass]
[link] [91 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » County fair phenomenon 'Chicken Charlie' opens restaurant offering Kool-Aid waffle ice cream sandwiches and deep-fried peanut butter meatballs [Cool]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New Orleans police would like to speak to anyone who might have information on a one-year-old boy who was found crying and abandoned in his stroller on a street corner Saturday night [Sad]
[link] [97 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two words that will give you nightmares: Poutine dumplings [Sick]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Convicts work to remove all trace of Baltimore city [Interesting]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Found remains of World War II veteran to be buried in another godforsaken warzone [Followup]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this guy in a suit [Photoshop]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
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