Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » FOMOs to the left, Kinemortophobes to the right [Amusing]
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FMyLife » mnote says FML
Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Report: UNC Inflated Grades, Created Fake Classes For Over 3,100 Students
An investigation at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill found that over the past two decades, the school created fake classes with “shadow curriculums” and no attendance requirements for more than 3,100 students, half of whom were … 
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Mental Floss » Feast Your Eyes on This Beautiful Linguistic Family Tree
Click to enlarge When linguists talk about the historical relationship between languages, they use a tree metaphor. An ancient source (say, Indo-European) has various branches (e.g., Romance, Germanic), which themselves have branches (West Germanic, North Germanic), which feed into specific languages (Swedish, Danish, Norwegian). Lessons on language families are often illustrated with a simple tree diagram that has all the … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mr Magoo, do you expect the court to believe you started a doorstep argument because your guide dog took you to the wrong house? (With bonus 'I'm not crazy' T-shirt) [Stupid]
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Fark.com RSS » Swiss company's coffee creamers creating quite a Führer [Repeat]
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Fark.com RSS » Want to see dogs in Halloween costumes? Of course you do, and it is de-slided for your viewing pleasure [Amusing]
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Mental Floss » The Terminator: 30 Years Later
This Sunday will be the 30th anniversary of the release of the movie The Terminator. Outside of Sarah Connor’s hair and clothing, there’s not a lot in the film that indicates how old it is. Oh, there have been some advances in special effects, but anyone who is old enough to have seen The Terminator in a first-run theater probably … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dumbass 'artist' defaces national parks with her ugly drawings [Asinine]
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Fark.com RSS » If you go around telling people you're a doctor when you're not, the real doctors are going to have some issues with this [Obvious]
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Fark.com RSS » Olfactory artist has crafted a 'Holy Water' sculpture that smells like Virginia…eww. What's that? Vagina, oh that's better [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » North Korea closes borders to tourists over Ebola fear. North Korea tourists outraged and inconsolable…both of them [Silly]
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Fark.com RSS » Coal vs. coral vs. Carl [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » The oddest police sketch you're likely to see today [Strange]
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Fark.com RSS » Tucker the pig loses planning commission vote, now realizes he should have promised more pork for the commissioners [Silly]
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Mental Floss » The Missing Links: The Greatest Safety Video on (Middle) Earth
Air New Zealand has released the most epic safety video ever. * For the premiere episode of the new Working podcast, Stephen Colbert explains how a typical day at The Colbert Report goes. * If you’ve ever played with a Ouija board and sort of wondered what, if anything, is happening, then this will help. * Homer is such a … [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Tinder Offering Premium Paid Service To Help Users Find Better Matches
The CEO of Tinder said the smartphone dating app will soon launch a paid premium service charging customers a fee for “more matchmaking powers,” including the ability to expand their search to other cities. 
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Mental Floss » 20 Short Films About Economics
We The Economy is a series of short films about economics intended to address a series of crucial topics like "What is the Economy?" and "What is Money?" in simple, accessible videos. Now, because the videos are simple and accessible, they don't go deep on detail…but they do a pretty good job of covering the basics. The project is headed … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » High speed chase, rollover, bong hit. He stuck the landing. Tada [Dumbass]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: What Privileges Do Student-Athletes Receive?
This week’s revelation that the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill inflated grades for thousands of athletes has shed light on the advantages that many college sports stars are given over other students. 
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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this dual fashion statement [Photoshop]
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Fark.com RSS » Lead poisoning becomes serious health threat at shooting ranges…and not just the "spontaneous and local" kind [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » Unused time-off hits a 40-year high as American workers leave nearly 170M vacation days on the table each year. I'll get back to the beach in a second, but first I need to submit this headline [Stupid]
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Fark.com RSS » Words you will most likely never hear again: "Cockfighting Romanian Princess" [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » When I die I want to pass comfortably in my bed, not with my pants down in Central Park [Sad]
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The Onion » Report: Slamming Boss Against Wall, Shouting ‘Cash! I Need More Cash!’ Still Leading Tactic For Securing Raise
WASHINGTON—Calling it the most effective method for reaching one’s full earning potential, a report issued Thursday by the Employee Benefit Research Institute found that violently slamming one’s supervisor against a wall and shouting, … 
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Fark.com RSS » Enormous Butte Nugget for sale [Silly]
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Fark.com RSS » All the little fishies are really enjoying life now that your sushi habit is out of control [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » It's not bad enough they've replaced my regular coffee with Folger's crystals, now they expect me to put a genocidal dictator in my cup [Weird]
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Fark.com RSS » Florida man stabbed, another knocked out by pool ball over stolen chicken wing. Lesson: Don't mess with someone's chicken wings [Florida]
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Mental Floss » 16 Words Derived From Animals
From bears and storks to singing wolves and castrated sheep, all 16 of the words listed here have surprising zoological origins. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The good news is that Liberia may have a cure for Ebola. The bad news is that it's starvation [Scary]
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The Onion » Jets Amazed By Percy Harvin’s Willingness To Fight In Huddle
NEW YORK—Citing the 26-year-old’s relentless attitude and utter refusal to ever give in, New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan told reporters Thursday that the team has been amazed by newly acquired wide receiver Percy Harvin’s willingness t… 
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The Onion » Report: Advertisers Threatening To Pull Money Now The Only Remaining Way To Effect Any Change
WASHINGTON—Confirming that civic engagement, democratic elections, and other large-scale efforts had effectively ceased to have any influence, a report published Thursday from the Pew Research Center determined that advertisers threatening to pull o… 
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Fark.com RSS » Man infamous for small penis: 'Women are pleasantly surprised I've got one at all' [Followup]
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Fark.com RSS » Much like Halley's Comet, you'll probably see a Canadian openly carrying a handgun only once in your life. So here's a photo of Kevin Vickers, parliament sergeant-at-arms and Canada's newest national hero [Hero]
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Mental Floss » Name the Disney Animals
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The Onion » Scientists Announce Today Best Time To Look Directly At Sun
TUCSON, AZ—Citing an ideal absence of obstructive cloud cover, scientists at the National Solar Observatory announced that today will be one of the best times for people to look directly at the sun. 
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Fark.com RSS » Dear Prudence: How can I keep the poors from trick-or-treating in my neighborhood. Signed, Totally Not a Bad Person [Dumbass]
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Fark.com RSS » Texas high-speed rail project has $10 billion in private investment and could be rolling by 2021. California high-speed rail has $0 in private investment and could be rolling just before the sun goes supernova [Spiffy]
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Mental Floss » The Most Interesting Comics of the Week
This week's new comics include a comic about a meme that causes the end of the world. Plus, Sabrina the Teenage Witch. [Link]
The Onion » Greyhound Now Offering Premium Upgrade To Slightly Less Disgusting Seats
DALLAS—In an effort to cater toward customers seeking a slightly less revolting bus-riding experience, transportation giant Greyhound announced Thursday it is now offering its passengers premium upgrades to marginally less disgusting seats. Official… 
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Fark.com RSS » Man scammed out of $4,000 by somebody who said he was a "police chief in Canada" and also saying his grandson was in prison and needed bailed out [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » 16,000 diapers stolen from Dallas Charity. Suspect is described as a black male, average build, with panty on his head [Sad]
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Fark.com RSS » Police respond to reports of a young naked woman running through the snow. Fortunately, she was doing it for a good reason [Strange]
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Fark.com RSS » Driver going almost 90 mph shoots cell phone video of van going almost 90 mph and posts online complaint about how dangerous it is to go almost 90 mph on the interstate [Dumbass]
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Fark.com RSS » Just so you know the drill, over 600 people will be "moulaged" around San Antonio today [PSA]
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Mental Floss » The Forgotten History of Russia’s California Colony
In the 18th century, Tsarist Russia carved out her own slice of this future state. [Link]
FMyLife » 20singleandproudish says FML
Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Rachel says FML
Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML [Link]
The Onion » New National Park Caters To Business Travelers
PAICINES, CA—Hoping to encourage more busy professionals to visit America’s scenic natural areas, the Department of Interior announced this week the opening of Pinnacles National Park Express, the first federally designated preserve geared spe… 
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Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Ammo
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Fark.com RSS » "Empire Strikes Bock" beer in hot water with Lucasfilm [Amusing]
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Fark.com RSS » Chilean bus driver goes all Babe Ruth on would-be purse thief (with crying thief video) [Hero]
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Fark.com RSS » We've replaced gastronomic experts' usual finely-honed diet of hipster-foodie pretense with a selection from McDonald's. Naturally, they love it [Interesting]
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Mental Floss » IKEA's new 'Shining'-Inspired Ad is Perfect
For many of us, going to IKEA can be as terrifying as visiting the The Shining's ghost-ridden Overlook Hotel—so this ad by IKEA Singapore, packed with references to Stanley Kubrick's classic film, is pretty great. According to DesignTaxi, the ad was created by BBH Singapore as part of IKEA's “Spot & Win” contest on social media. How many references can … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bad-ass UPS driver has driven 4 million miles and has been on the job for 40 years without a single accident. Or as they call her at UPS 'Overqualified' [Florida]
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Fark.com RSS » "Near catastrophic fracking incident." Brine wells spewing flammable natural gas, chlorine, caustic soda and hydrogen, as well as hydrochloric acid and calcium hyperchloride. Welcome to the world of searching for energy under the Ohio River [
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Fark.com RSS » Movies like Outbreak and The Walking Dead fuel America's fear of global pandemics and cause us to botch our responses to viral containment. Or something; this is Slate and their deductive powers are always in question [PSA]
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Fark.com RSS » …and the moral of the story is when robbing a bank do not stop and bum a cigarette off somebody. You might get prison time for it [Followup]
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Fark.com RSS » "Someone goofed; it was miscommunication," says spokesperson for a Fort Lauderdale hospital that nearly sent the entire state of Florida into a panic over Ebola [Followup]
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Fark.com RSS » Top 10 weirdest places in Worst Korea. Come for the sex museum; stay for the placenta cemetery. Bonus: Not a slideshow (might be not safe for work) [Spiffy]
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Fark.com RSS » So it turns out that 21 days may not be enough to prevent the spread of Ebola. Have fun, Dallas [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » Pros and Cons of an expense account. Pro: Getting reimbursed for that night out at the Hiroshima S&M club. Con: Getting reimbursed for that night out at the Hiroshima S&M club [Stupid]
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Fark.com RSS » And today the person to blame for obesity is… shakes magic 8-ball… Homer Simpson [Stupid]
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Mental Floss » How is Blood Type Determined?
Last week’s season finale of The Knick saw the cocaine-addicted Dr. John Thackery try to solve the mystery of blood types before another doctor could do it. I won’t spoil what happened for you here, but the episode did make me wonder: How are blood types determined these days? First, some basics about your blood. There are 4 to 6 … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Much like your college roommate, the new Chevy Impala runs on food scraps, beer, and sewage [Spiffy]
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The Onion » Statshot: What Are Strangers Putting In Our Halloween Candy?
What Are Strangers Putting In Our Halloween Candy? 
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Fark.com RSS » Man imprisoned for identity theft played for the Miami Dolphins. Police say Ray Finkle will be going away for a long time, reassure everyone the laces were, in fact, out [Florida]
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The Onion » Football Hall Of Fame Acquires Peyton Manning's Record-Breaking Touchdown-Throwing Arm
Football Hall Of Fame Acquires Peyton Manning's Record-Breaking Touchdown-Throwing Arm 
[Link]
The Onion » New Hobby To Tide Retired Man Over Until Death
WARNER ROBINS, GA—Saying that it should take up an adequate amount of the 67-year-old’s remaining time on earth, sources confirmed Thursday that local retiree Ned McDowell has chosen gardening as the hobby to tide him over until his death. 
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FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML [Link]
FMyLife » BadLuckLad says FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML [Link]
Futility Closet » Coming Soon!
We’ll have another book in time for the holidays this year: a new collection of entertaining oddities in history, literature, language, art, philosophy, and mathematics, the perfect gift for people who are impossible to buy gifts for. Futility Closet 2: A Second Trove of Intriguing Tidbits contains hundreds of hand-picked favorites from the site’s 10-year archive of the marvelous, the … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're going to fake a coma for two years to avoid going to court, try not to use your supermarket loyalty card to occasionally go shopping [Dumbass]
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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this train walker [Photoshop]
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Mental Floss » The World’s 11 Best Cities for Street Art
Garrett Ziegler Once criminalized, street art has become increasingly accepted and even welcomed by local governments and business owners as a way to beautify public space. Today, just about every city around the world has a thriving street art scene. And works of street art are available to all, all the time, courtesy of the internet. But if you want … [Link]
Weird Universe » Battle of the Vintage Chocolate Drinks
Name your poison! Bosco, Ovaltine, Borden's or Tootsie V-M?
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » After comparing same sex marriage to bull sex, Alaska congressman doubles down by claiming suicide didn't exist in his state before government handouts [Followup]
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Fark.com RSS » The struggles of two brave young women: Bristol Palin and Malala Yousafzai, with side-by-side comparison [Hero]
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Fark.com RSS » If you drink alcohol, you should probably drink coffee too, considering a new study shows that coffee helps to repair liver damage. Coffee: the solution to all of life's problems [PSA]
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Weird Universe » Smog Rings
Dutch artist Daan Roosegaarde has come up with a plan to use "patented ion technology" in order to create the world's largest smog vacuum cleaner. He'll then place his smog vacuum in a Beijing park, start vacuuming up the smog, and turn the dirt and dust he collects into "smog rings." More info at his site.
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Mental Floss » How Kurt Vonnegut’s Brother Settled History’s Most Dubious Chicken-Tornado Debate
When a tornado ripped through Mayfield, Ohio, in 1842, local farmers noticed something weird: Afterward, turkeys, geese, and chickens were roaming around naked. The reports sparked the imagination of mathematician and professor Elias Loomis, who wondered whether defeathered chickens could be a trustworthy way to measure tornado wind speeds. To find out, Loomis killed a chicken and blasted it out … [Link]
FMyLife » Sansa says FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Climate change is a hoax, yet for some reason insurance companies decide washing out to sea with their customers' homes is a bad idea [Sad]
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Mental Floss » Ammo
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Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Carving Jack O'Lanterns
Dave Hax has some tips for carving a scary-looking Jack O’Lantern. The teeth make all the difference.
*
’90s Pop-Culture Witches, Ranked. Guessing from the text, the list goes from worst to best.
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Dawson’s Creek Is So Much More Fun to Watch When Reenacted by Dachshunds. You don’t have to be a fan of the show to enjoy Dachshund’s Creek.
* … [Link]
FMyLife » CJune24 says FML
Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » School board votes to allow students to pose with guns in yearbook photos. This is bound to trigger something [Stupid]
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Fark.com RSS » Counter for the number of days since someone jumped the White House fence has been reset to 0 [Dumbass]
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FMyLife » Not so much of a teachers pet says FML
Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML [Link]
FMyLife » mr_cheese says FML
Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML [Link]
Futility Closet » A Dice Puzzle
Timothy and Urban are playing a game with two six-sided dice. The dice are unusual: Rather than bearing a number, each face is painted either red or blue. The two take turns throwing the dice. Timothy wins if the two top faces are the same color, and Urban wins if they’re different. Their chances of winning are equal. The first … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Moth → flame; mosquito→ bug zapper; toddler→ claw toy machine [Scary]
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Mental Floss » 9 Game-Changing Moments in the History of Street Art
Garrett Ziegler From the earliest evidence of human creativity to the birth of the first modern graffiti writer, street art has shown a remarkable ability to change the world. These moments have had long-lasting and profound repercussions, deeply shaping the artists, issues, outputs, and interactions of today. 1. ca. 15,000 BCE: Cave paintings liven up the Stone Age
Gabriela Ruellan … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 494: "Up Close 3: Macro". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]
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Fark.com RSS » Ever wanted to turn Nigel Farage into a kitten? Well there's an app for that [Amusing]
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Fark.com RSS » You might not think to try charging a car battery with a phone charger, but this guy did [Dumbass]
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Fark.com RSS » Kentucky becomes first state in U.S. to grow Chia seeds. Can a new factory for The Clapper be far behind? [Amusing]
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Fark.com RSS » Despite evidence chronicled in Cheech and Chong movies, a new study finds marijuana doesn't lower IQ [Spiffy]
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Mental Floss » 25 Things You Might Not Know About The San Francisco Giants
For the third time in five years, the San Francisco Giants are World Series champions. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this wide stance [Photoshop]
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Mental Floss » 15 Lesser-Known Halloween Songs to Put You in a Spooky Mood
Put aside “The Monster Mash," "Thriller," and the Ghostbusters theme. Spin these lesser-known songs in the lead up to All Hallows' Eve instead. 1. “A Nightmare on My Street,” The Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff This song, on the 1988 album He’s the DJ, I’m the Rapper, hit #15 on the Billboard Hot 100. Though the duo had been … [Link]
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