Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » After getting a new steeple, church plans on opening its doors to the public and hopes to see all the people [Amusing]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Anti-abortion event at the Alamo forced to resort to plan B [Obvious]
[link] [179 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Making Mad Libs
(Exclamation)! This article on how Mad Libs are written is such a (adjective) (noun). * These really make the next family gathering awkward. Check out the most uncomfortable Family Feud moments ever. Contains some NSFW content. * When a high school didn’t have any more land, they just built a football field on the roof of the school. It’s not … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The "Jim Shoe" sandwich has Italian Beef, Gyros Meat, Corned Beef, Tzatziki, Giardinera, and an ounce bag of marijuana in the middle to give you enough of a case of the munchies that you can actually finish the other half of the sandwich [Amu
[link] [76 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML [Link]
Futility Closet » Things to Come
Science fiction writer Murray Leinster predicted the Internet in 1946: I got Joe, after Laurine nearly got me. You know the logics setup. You got a logic in your house. It looks like a vision receiver used to, only it’s got keys instead of dials and you punch the keys for what you wanna get. It’s hooked in to the … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Over three thousand students at the University of North Carolina, many of them athletes, took fake classes over a period of years. Naturally, top college officials knew nothing about this [Sick]
[link] [241 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 27 Motherless Disney Characters
Walt Disney has got mommy issues [Link]
Mental Floss » Understanding the "Single Transferable Vote"
In this video, C.G.P. Grey explains the Single Transferable Vote, a system in which voters get to specify a second choice in case their primary choice candidate doesn't win — which can lead to a much more representative result. This system is used around the world, most notably in Australia. (Indeed, when I first heard about this kind of voting, … [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Toys ‘R’ Us Pulls ‘Breaking Bad’ Action Figures From Shelves
Toys ‘R’ Us announced it will no longer sell action figures depicting characters from Breaking Bad, the AMC hit television show about a chemistry teacher turned meth dealer, after a Florida mother launched an online petition stating tha…
[Link]
FMyLife » MouserMan says FML
Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman tries to polish off boyfriend with fire. Includes "ready to do it again" mugshot [Florida]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rapid advances in technology have rifted education from needed skills, and the rise of digital technologies are likely playing that part in creating the extreme elite class [Sad]
[link] [118 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientists once believed that birds migrated to the moon, which is stupid, because it shines all day and they'd have to do all their flying to it in the dark [Asinine]
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Fark.com RSS » Funeral home unveils its new Firework Memorial program and offers packages like the "Ultimate Goodbye," "Sensational Celebration," and the "Hunter S. Thompson" [Cool]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Now that we've all accepted the truth of the Oxford comma, it's time to take down those half-literate apostates who insist on spreading the blasphemy of single quotation marks [Obvious]
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Fark.com RSS » Where does a 500lb man sit? Anywhere he wants… but he's not gonna fit in the patrol car [Florida]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Pueblo Indians Can’t Keep Pace With Area Mom’s Appetite For Earthenware
ALBUQUERQUE, NM—Claiming that the 56-year-old’s desire for authentic Native American ceramics is insatiable, local Pueblo artisans confirmed Wednesday that they can’t keep pace with area mother Shelly Burke’s ravenous appetite for …
[Link]
The Onion » Area Man Released After Being Wrongfully Employed For 9 Years
RICHMOND, VA—In response to mounting evidence showing that he never should have been in there in the first place, administrators at KDM Marketing officially released 34-year-old account manager Alex Olmstead today after nine years of being wrongfull…
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Study indicates that vaccines have gone airborne [Scary]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this equipment dependent imposter [Photoshop]
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Fark.com RSS » Guy files epic, rambling "Motion To Dismiss This Bullshiat" [Amusing]
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Fark.com RSS » I'm not sure what the moral is here, but it seems to be "Don't bring a machete to a pork chop fight" [Florida]
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Fark.com RSS » Having secured our borders and defeated ISIS, Homeland Security goes on panty raid [Stupid]
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The Onion » Curt Schilling’s Family Urges Him To Finally See Doctor About Bleeding Ankle
MEDFIELD, MA—Insisting that his prevailing injury could be serious, family members of retired baseball pitcher Curt Schilling reportedly urged the former Red Sox starter Wednesday to finally visit a doctor about his wounded right ankle, which contin…
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Family rescued from cable car, had been hanging around between the hours of 9 AM and 5 PM waiting for someone to come [Interesting]
[link] [8 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mormon church comes clean on their special underwear; say it's not magic, it's just supposed to keep you from playing with yourself [Followup]
[link] [199 comments] [Link]
The Onion » New Census Study Finds That 40% Of U.S. Population Is Filler
WASHINGTON—Saying that a sizable cross-section of Americans exist solely to round out the nation’s general population, a new study released Wednesday by the Census Bureau found that a full 40 percent of U.S.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Drinking cans of beer has a contraceptive effect according to scientists, and not just the way you're thinking [Interesting]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Another one-fifth of Detroit residents could lose their homes in coming months, bringing the population of Detroit into negative numbers for the first time [Sad]
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Fark.com RSS » A flying, remote-controlled ostrich drone? YES [Weird]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Clerk swipes $3.7M in goods from a Sears warehouse. In other news, Sears still has $3.7M in inventory [Weird]
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Fark.com RSS » The Berlin Wall had David Hasselhoff, Hong Kong has….Kenny G? [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » HELLO. YES, this IS ANNOYING phone habits [Amusing]
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Mental Floss » 7 Weird Graveyard Inventions
Some of these grave innovations are practical. Others, however, border on the bizarre and downright creepy. [Link]
The Onion » Second-Grader Likes To Save Purple Pills For Last
FARMINGTON, MO—Outlining his lunchtime medication regimen, local second-grader Brandon Ross explained to reporters Wednesday that he likes to save his purple pills for last.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » In an attempt to clog the average American's remaining good artery, we now have deep-fried candy corn [Interesting]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Cake Left Out In Break Room With No Instructions
MINNEAPOLIS—Leaving dozens of workers unsure as to whether they were permitted to consume the enticing dessert, sources at the offices of Highwood Insurance told reporters Wednesday that a cake had been left out in the break room without any instruc…
[Link]
Mental Floss » Name the People in "We Didn't Start the Fire"
Take the quiz! [Link]
Mental Floss » Ancient Scotland: Home of the First Ever Sex
Sex had to start somewhere. And according to a new paper in the journal Nature, that somewhere was Scotland, about 385 million years ago. [Link]
Mental Floss » Why Do We Carve Pumpkins?
When you think about it, scooping the innards out of a large squash, carving a scary face into it, and jamming a candle inside is a bit weird. [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: "Simon" Says
[Link]
The Onion » Man’s Whole Job Undoing Handiwork Of Self-Checkout Machine
SIOUX FALLS, SD—Admitting that he basically just stands there until one of the stations starts blaring “unexpected item in bagging area,” local supermarket employee Andy Berenson reported Wednesday that his entire job consists of undoing…
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Korea KFC unveils new "Double Down Burger," which features two fried chicken patties, a cheeseburger, bacon, sauce, but no defibrillator [Sick]
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Fark.com RSS » It's too soon to dress up as Ray Rice for Halloween complete with a blow-up doll you drag around by its hair [Dumbass]
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Fark.com RSS » Americans will spend $350 million on Pagan rituals this year [Hero]
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The Onion » American Voices: Facebook To Test Jet-Sized Wi-Fi Drones By 2015
Facebook officials announced intentions to test out Wi-Fi–equipped drones the size of jumbo jets by 2015 as part of an effort to make wireless internet available to the two-thirds of the world’s population that lacks internet access.
[Link]
The Onion » Midterm Candidates Distancing Selves From United States
WASHINGTON—Hoping to avoid any association with a country whose approval rating has hit an all-time low among voters, the entire field of 2014 midterm congressional candidates is actively working to distance themselves from the United States, source…
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » The people of Houston don't want to see the Astrodome get bulldozed. But they also don't want a single tax dollar spent renovating it [Obvious]
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Fark.com RSS » Michigan Governor Rick Snyder signs bill that prevents Tesla from even placing a car where people can look at it [Followup]
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Mental Floss » Brain Game: Gone Already
Can you solve the Word Ladder in today's mentalfloss.com Brain Game Wednesday Wordplay challenge in five steps or fewer? Prove it! By changing one letter in each step to form English words, and leaving all other letters in their original positions, convert WENT into AWAY in the fewest possible steps. W E N T
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ … [Link]
FMyLife » Thewatcher says FML
Today, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Behold the mythical Tunacorn [Unlikely]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » My father invented a social network at an all-girl's school in the 1930s, but you've probably never heard of it [Silly]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Six-year-old girl who was hit and left for dead last Halloween is making a great recovery and although her mental capacity has regressed and she had to do everything including learning to walk again is going trick-or-treating this year as a princess
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Soldier shot at Canada's Parliament Hill. Not a repeat from yesterday [NewsFlash]
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Fark.com RSS » NYC Board of Elections finds 850 voters aged 164. Yankees immediately offer all of them nine-figure long-term contracts [Fail]
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Fark.com RSS » Flying car accident injures two. Doctors say that both Mr. Weasley and Mr. Potter are expected to recover [Florida]
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Fark.com RSS » Pew study discovers America's least-trusted news source. Real surprise is the most-trustworthy one [Obvious]
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Fark.com RSS » "Dear Prudence: My sister has a habit of dressing her four year-old in vivid pink tutus and dresses. It's disgusting and unnatural because my sister has a boy, not a girl; she's going to turn him gay, isn't she? Help me stop her"
[link] [174 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 6 Creepy Victorian Ghost Stories to Read Right Now
Victorian and turn-of-the-century ghost stories have a particular attraction: They need no contrivances to create places that are lonely and old, a place where bad things are kept hushed up instead of dealt with. From the first line, you’re put in a world with no electricity to banish darkness and no 911 to call if the darkness becomes more than … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Owning a pug means you're likely to be loaded and happily married. Hate to be a dalmatian owner, though [Fail]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Now a real killer, when he picked up the ZF-1, would've immediately asked about the little red button on the bottom of the gun [Fail]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » South Miami officials vote to add new Fark tag [Florida]
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Fark.com RSS » "The fate of Mr. Goodman rests in the hands of his defense team, who have unveiled their so-called 'Man-Cave' defense" [Florida]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here are two worlds that should collide more often : Pony riders and outdoor bondage enthusiasts [Amusing]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: Tips For Finding The Right Doctor
Every person has different needs and preferences when it comes to health care, which is why it’s essential to find a high-quality physician whom you trust and respect.
[Link]
Futility Closet » Presto
Discovered by R.V. Heath in 1950: Think of two positive integers. Add them to get a third number. Add the second number and the third number to get a fourth number. Continue in this way until you have 10 numbers. The sum of the 10 numbers is 11 times the seventh number. [Link]
Mental Floss » 8 Lifehacks for Your New Home
With these tips, your new house can feel like home in no time. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » We shall conduct mishile drills and listen to their death metal, Vasiliy [Amusing]
[link] [90 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Etchings found on haunting seven-faced Shigir Idol, the world's oldest known wooden statue, could 'could hold a message to modern man', like "You guys got those flying cars yet?" or 'Never order food in a strip joint' [Int
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The six most hilarious overreactions to the Ebola outbreak in the US [Amusing]
[link] [97 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » wthiswrongwithmi says FML
Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mississippi man served half-eaten English muffin at McDonald's. "My wife wanted me to take it back, but we were already several miles down the road by then." Pics now, film at 11 [Scary]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these elegant swans [Photoshop]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Dagwood, the table-tennis-playing cat
From an AP story that circulated in August 1951 (example here):
PORTLAND, Ore. — This cat made such a pest of herself when Ted Matson tried to play table tennis that he finally put her on one side of the net and let her try the game on her own. That was six years ago, and the cat, Dagwood, has … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ben Bradlee dies ahead of the Washington Post [Sad]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Ebola Czar officially starts his job today. No word on when the Influenza Chief or Meningitis Sultan will begin their respective posts [Followup]
[link] [160 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » For $113,000 you can buy a Zombie Fortification Cabin, complete with barbed wire, an escape hatch, and a flame thrower inside the garage [Cool]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hookin' in the boys room / Hookin' in the boys room / Nah, teacher don't you fill me up with your rules / 'Cause everybody knows that hookin' ain't allowed in school [Strange]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Tarzan of the Canines
Original page here.
Do we dare to believe this Weekly World News article? Well, the case was reported a year prior in a reputable newspaper.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man with "meaningful" tattoos from ankles to neck is shocked, SHOCKED that ambulance company did not hire him after interview. Wants this outrage fixed by local news reporters [Dumbass]
[link] [182 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » HeckIfIKnow says FML
Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Artisanal ice. It's just regular ice but bartenders market it to justify high prices of their drinks and they know hipsters will pay for it [Stupid]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Medical Reference Book
Handy in or out of the operating room.
Order Yours Here
[Link]
FMyLife » Australian Lifeguard says FML
Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Another day, another possible data breach. This time at Staples. Hackers: "That was easy" [Fail]
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Fark.com RSS » Caption these politicians [Caption]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » "Simon" Says
[Link]
FMyLife » anonymous says FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Rogue Taxidermy Fair
The Crucified Sheep, Tattooed Frogs, and Crocheted Skeletons of a Rogue Taxidermy Fair in Brooklyn. I’m just so happy that headline doesn’t describe a food festival.
*
This Thursday, October 23rd, 2014, the moon will pass in front of the sun without totally blocking it out. This partial solar eclipse will be visible to almost everyone in the United States … [Link]
FMyLife » Awkward says FML
Today, I had to google the definition of transsexual just to know what the hell my friends were talking about. I need to read a book. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Today's Fark-ready headline: Drunken trombone-playing clown fires gun from garage [Weird]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Higher Mammals
In 1904 Belgian circus manager Eduard Wulff patented an apparatus “whereby living animals, such as horses, elephants, monkeys etc., are readily thrown into space for the purpose of causing same to take a somersault or so-called salto-mortale.” It’s pretty simple: A “throwing plate” (3) is clamped over a stationary base (1), compressing two powerful arched springs (6). The animal is … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Go Beavers. Trojan rates Oregon State as the college with the best sexual health [Amusing]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Britain's dental health experts report children as young as three are suffering from severe tooth decay. This is shocking – who knew there were dental health experts in Britain? [Sad]
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Fark.com RSS » Things I don't want to see together in a headline: "Clowns" and "sex toys" [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » Colorado grocery store is completely sold out of Count Chocula cereal. Because one guy uses it to brew beer [Spiffy]
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Fark.com RSS » Latest nail in the coffin for traditional taxis: minorities prefer Uber and Lyft because they don't racially discriminate against them [Cool]
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Fark.com RSS » If you're going to steal merchandise from a store and flee on foot, make sure it's not an outdoor store manned by a pack of hyperfit ultramarathoners [Amusing]
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Fark.com RSS » Paralyzed man walks again after having nasal tissue injected into his spine, is expected to be running constantly by cold and flu season [Cool]
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FMyLife » Airplane crap says FML
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML [Link]
FMyLife » yus says FML
Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML [Link]
FMyLife » GetMeTheDamnBleach says FML
Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » People under 35 do not like eating food from the freezer. Unless you call vodka and ice food [Cool]
[link] [151 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Alphonse Bertillon and the Identity of Criminals
Alphonse Bertillon was a French forensic documentarian who developed or improved upon several methods of identifying criminals and solving crimes. Some of those methods, such as the mug shot, are still in use today, while others, particularly anthropometry, were abandoned over time in favor of more accurate methods. Bertillon is considered by many to be the first forensic expert. Bertillon’s … [Link]
The Onion » Bud Selig Awoken From Cryosleep In Time For World Series
KANSAS CITY, MO—Explaining that these are the roughly 10 to 14 days each year during which he is not resting in a controlled state of suspended animation, sources confirmed Tuesday that Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig has been awoken fr…
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this melty glass and nail art vase thingee [Photoshop]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
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