Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Police looking for man who kissed a child inside a Target. "You would expect this type of behavior in a Walmart or a K-Mart, not a Target" [Florida]

Saturday 18 October 23:40:10 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Word Problem: If Mrs. Scott teaches math for 60 years, how much money will she have for retirement? [Spiffy]

Saturday 18 October 23:37:55 UTC 2014

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Weird Universe » Frog Protection

Saturday 18 October 22:51:05 UTC 2014

It is always embarrassing when a credit card is declined, but one would imagine even more so when you are the leader of the free world. Good thing Michelle had his back. I guess he ordered the frog legs. [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 18 October 22:47:51 UTC 2014

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As much as we like to pick on them, guess which State's Supreme Court just ruled that you can't track people's location using their cell phone signals without a warrant? Rare "good job guys" use of the Florida tag in play [Florida

Saturday 18 October 22:12:49 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Eric Frein manhunt is now changing laws to help police arrest more people [Followup]

Saturday 18 October 22:05:42 UTC 2014

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FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 18 October 21:53:32 UTC 2014

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason…" and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman gets six years in prison for participating in "Take Your Daughter to Armed Bank Robbery Day" [Followup]

Saturday 18 October 21:48:07 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » How do you say "Come at me bro" in Chinese? [Followup]

Saturday 18 October 21:21:58 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Unlicensed driver going twice speed limit flies off curve. Jury finds DOT liable for not posting enough signs telling him not to do that [Stupid]

Saturday 18 October 20:28:02 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » DUCK [Interesting]

Saturday 18 October 20:11:05 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this bubbly blower [Photoshop]

Saturday 18 October 20:00:01 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » FARK-ready headline: "Cannibal harlequin ladybirds now threaten species with STDs" [Weird]

Saturday 18 October 19:46:12 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » How Siri became an autistic boy's best friend and kicked up a little dust that was lingering in the room [Sappy]

Saturday 18 October 19:45:07 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Man hides porn collection to avoid embarrassment, becomes headline news [Dumbass]

Saturday 18 October 19:16:28 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Could you really fit $10,000 in loose change in five coffee cans and a five gallon jug? [Unlikely]

Saturday 18 October 18:53:00 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Man lights pickup truck on fire, then drives into law office. Hey it's a start [Scary]

Saturday 18 October 18:00:28 UTC 2014

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FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 18 October 17:26:41 UTC 2014

Today, my husband left to help his mother with her TV. That was an hour ago, and his mom arrived at our house 45 minutes ago. Safe to say that isn't what, or who, he was doing. FML [Link]

FMyLife » melissa1028 says FML

Saturday 18 October 17:26:39 UTC 2014

Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML [Link]

FMyLife » MegasaurusRex89 says FML

Saturday 18 October 17:26:38 UTC 2014

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Under ordinary circumstances, you would think that stealing a Buick LeSabre would be an act of mercy. Under ordinary circumstances [Weird]

Saturday 18 October 16:52:06 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Used car prices predicted to fall. New car leasing to become easier. Naturally, financial experts forecast disaster if anyone can actually buy a car without going into debt for decades [Dumbass]

Saturday 18 October 16:41:17 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Washington teacher told not to have students spin the disciplinary 'Wheel of Misfortune' [Followup]

Saturday 18 October 15:53:52 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » When the patch, nicotine gum, counseling, and e-cigarettes can't help you stop smoking, maybe it's time to try magic mushrooms [Obvious]

Saturday 18 October 15:49:02 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Court denies alimony to wife because she's a genie [Weird]

Saturday 18 October 15:45:11 UTC 2014

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Mental Floss » Make Your Own Paper Boomerang

Saturday 18 October 15:43:28 UTC 2014

You can make tiny cardboard boomerangs! They pretty much work! [Link]

Mental Floss » Weekend Links: The Prodigal Parrot

Saturday 18 October 15:43:27 UTC 2014

4 years later, a lost parrot has found its way home, but not without learning to speak Spanish first. * Disney has released the designs for their complete 2015 Fairy Tale Weddings collection, suitable for soon-to-be-married women who still want to dress up like princesses. * This is the coolest Ferrari custom paint job ever. * One new mom takes … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The best way to get more work done? Work shorter days. In short, just put more stress on your workforce [Ironic]

Saturday 18 October 15:35:02 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Twenty five photos of people from Chicago eating pizza (submitted by a New Yorker, obviously) [Amusing]

Saturday 18 October 15:13:26 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Teenager has quadratic equation tattooed on his butt. In a few years he'll be trying to solve for why [Strange]

Saturday 18 October 15:08:43 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Nuclear reactors near active Japanese volcanoes called "unsafe" by the country's department of understatement [Obvious]

Saturday 18 October 15:08:06 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Village of 290 in Michigan has 100-officer police force, which the village council is trying to abolish. The response of the police? ISIS [Weird]

Saturday 18 October 14:57:22 UTC 2014

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Weird Universe » The Mark Of The Beast

Saturday 18 October 14:48:11 UTC 2014

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NewDealDesign, a design house out of San Francisco, is behind an idea for implanted tattoos that carry information about the wearer that could be exchanged by touch. The Bible has long been quoted about the mark of the beast and the Anti Christ being from the Middle East, guess where the CEO of the company is from, just sayin'. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption this Pug from another mother [Caption]

Saturday 18 October 14:00:01 UTC 2014

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FMyLife » Queensland says FML

Saturday 18 October 13:50:59 UTC 2014

Today, I woke up to find "Fuck you, Harry" painted on my car. Harry's my neighbour. FML [Link]

Weird Universe » Cat takes center stage

Saturday 18 October 13:30:41 UTC 2014

November 12, 1951: As British Foreign Secretary Anthony Eden was delivering an address at a meeting of the General Assembly of the U.N. in Paris, urging calm in Europe, a black cat suddenly got up on the stage and strolled across it, without a care in the world. This prompted discussion in the media as to whether the cat was … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this exibition [Photoshop]

Saturday 18 October 13:00:01 UTC 2014

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Weird Universe » Your Life Work: The Librarian

Saturday 18 October 12:59:31 UTC 2014

"Are books your friends?"

I don't believe the information sciences are much like this anymore. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If pit viper-flavored ice cream just isn't your thing, maybe you should try some lobster ice cream [Weird]

Saturday 18 October 12:57:08 UTC 2014

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FMyLife » KayyElOh94 says FML

Saturday 18 October 12:55:28 UTC 2014

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML [Link]

FMyLife » catt says FML

Saturday 18 October 12:55:27 UTC 2014

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just your typical small town police blotter – a few petty thefts, a few disorderly conduct incidents, a clarinet mistaken for a shotgun … Wait, what? [Amusing]

Saturday 18 October 12:28:40 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » A behind-the-scenes look at what it is like trying to post on the Caturday thread [Caturday]

Saturday 18 October 12:00:00 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Man learns the hard way from wife that you can't just 'die', come back and collect your pension money claiming you had amnesia [Dumbass]

Saturday 18 October 11:50:02 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Despite there being no reported cases of Ebola in their state, school board vows to protect students from the virus by scrubbing down every school building weekly. It's like 2001 all over again [Silly]

Saturday 18 October 11:20:26 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Because who doesn't want to get a smart tattoo implanted under your skin that tracks everywhere your hand goes [Unlikely]

Saturday 18 October 10:54:59 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » As we learn more about tornadoes and how to predict them, they've devised a new strategy: they're starting to move in swarms [Scary]

Saturday 18 October 9:10:00 UTC 2014

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Fark.com RSS » Pope rents out the Sistine Chapel for a private corporate event, but will donate the rental fees to charities that help the poor and homeless. I can't decide if I am impressed or outraged [Interesting]

Saturday 18 October 8:24:00 UTC 2014

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John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons