Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML [Link]
Mental Floss » The Origins of 15 Spooky Halloween Traditions
This Halloween, don’t just have the best costume and the spookiest decorations on your block—share these sweet facts, too. 1. Jack-o-Lanterns Jack-o-lanterns, which originated in Ireland with turnips instead of pumpkins, is based on a legend about a man name Stingy Jack who repeatedly trapped the Devil and only let him go on the condition that Jack would never go to … [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: A Warning to Mars Travelers
Note to Self: Don’t Go To Mars People involved in the Mars One expedition should take note of this simulation created by MIT students. It doesn’t paint a promising picture. * Movie Roll Watch a well-traveled basketball creatively take a journey across 24 different movies. * Graphic Sports These 40 graphs draw a clear picture of the state of sports … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're a Republican running for office, it's okay to host a fundraiser where guests get to fire off a variety of firearms. Just don't call it a 'Machine Gun Social.' [Interesting]
[link] [274 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Halloween Costumes From the 1970s
Photographer Larry Racioppo captured a variety of children's costumes as they roamed the streets in the mid-'70s. The results are a bit creepy, but ultimately endearing. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man not doing laundry by hand has hand ripped off by laundry [Scary]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Doctors Document First Case Of Google Glass Addiction
Doctors in San Diego have reported the first case of Google-Glass-related “internet addiction disorder” in a 31-year-old man who wore the device 18 hours a day and only removed it to sleep and shower, leading him to check into a substance abus… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here are your two pizzas, pink fat lady and thank you ordering from Pizza Hut [Stupid]
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The Onion » Bitter Concession Speeches The Only Things Americans Looking Forward To In Upcoming Midterms
WASHINGTON—Calling them the only things remotely worthwhile about next month’s elections, the American public confirmed Wednesday that the dozens of bitter concession speeches to be given by losing candidates are the sole aspect of the upcomin… 
[Link]
The Onion » Report: More Americans Saving Money For Child’s Unemployment
WASHINGTON—Stressing the importance of being able to financially support their kids during one of the most significant periods in their lives, a growing number of parents are opting to put aside money for their children’s unemployment, a repor… 
[Link]
The Onion » Infographic: How Colleges Are Luring Top Students
Eager to enroll talented students and attract parents willing to pay top dollar for their child’s education, colleges across the nation are building new academic halls, installing wave pools and lazy rivers, offering free movie tickets, and more … 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Escaped emu captured after running into traffic, photobombing random bystanders [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » Second Dallas health worker flew from Cleveland to Dallas the day before noticing symptoms. We're doomed as doomed can be [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » You know things are getting out of hand when the cops have to call the cops on the cops [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this dedicated doctor [Photoshop]
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Mental Floss » A Look at the Mac in 1985
Starting in 1985, Macworld Expo was the premiere showcase for new Mac software and hardware. Yesterday, Macworld Expo's parent company announced that the show (now called Macworld/iWorld) was finished. This gives me a great excuse to show you a half-hour Computer Chronicles show about the Mac broadcast in 1985 and featuring the very first Macworld Expo. The Mac itself was … [Link]
The Onion » Facebook Offers To Freeze Female Employees’ Newborn Children
MENLO PARK, CA—As part of their efforts to accommodate women who wish to delay parenthood, Facebook officials announced Wednesday that the company will offer financial assistance for female employees to freeze their newborn children. 
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Fark.com RSS » Syrians: We come seeking refuge from the civil war in our homeland. Germany: Welcome to Oktoberfest [Cool]
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Fark.com RSS » Liberia needs 79,940 more body bags…and a zombie defense system [Scary]
[link] [128 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Facts About 'Pet Sounds'
Brian Wilson and The Beach Boys' Pet Sounds forever changed the landscape of pop music. It's a deeply personal album, and Wilson's meticulously complex and bizarre arrangements elevated the three-minute radio tune to art. The story of how Pet Sounds was made has been told and retold (and parodied) plenty of times since its release in 1966, but there are … [Link]
The Onion » Jerry Jones Vows Cowboys Stadium Will Be Most Spectacular Ebola Quarantine Center Ever
DALLAS—Following news of a second confirmed case of Ebola in the city, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones assured local residents, as well as the nation at large, that AT&T Stadium is prepared to serve as the most spectacular Ebola quarantine cent… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mysterious loud boom heard in several states picked up on weather radar. Epicenter near a Taco Bell [Cool]
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The Onion » High School Football Coach Unsure How To Tap Into Aggression Of Hormonal Adolescent Teenagers
FAIRFIELD, NJ—Saying he has been racking his brain all season to no avail, West Essex High School football coach Charles Seipp, 39, admitted to reporters Wednesday that he is struggling to find a way to tap into the aggression of his hormonally char… 
[Link]
Futility Closet » Appalling Slave Punishments
From A Narrative of the Adventures and Escape of Moses Roper, From American Slavery, 1848: “A large farmer, Colonel McQuiller in Cashaw county, South Carolina, was in the habit of driving nails into a hogshead so as to leave the point of the nail just protruding in the inside of the cask; into this, he used to put his slaves … [Link]
The Onion » Lifelong Dream No Match For First Brush With Adversity
DENVER—Despite calling it his dream job and spending years imagining how personally satisfying it would be to work in the field, Joshua Lucas told reporters this week that his lifelong goal to work at a major record label was no match for his first … 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Where were you five years ago when the country was hovering around their transistor radios to hear the latest news about BALLOON BOY? [Stupid]
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Fark.com RSS » How heartless have you got to be to make off with a TV in front of a bunch of people with dementia who were watching it in a care home? [Asinine]
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Fark.com RSS » Dear Diary: Today I evaded tax [Dumbass]
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Fark.com RSS » Just in time for Halloween, your basic record-breaking 2058 pound pumpkin [Spiffy]
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Fark.com RSS » Company creates 3D printer that makes mud huts for impoverished countries who have somehow been making mud huts without 3D printers for thousands of years [Cool]
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Mental Floss » 15 Delicious Regional Dishes That Are Worth the Trip
When it comes to these regional delicacies, accept no substitutes. Book a trip to taste the real thing—you won’t regret it! [Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: Bad Things
Can you solve the Word Ladder in today's mentalfloss.com Brain Game Wednesday Wordplay challenge in six steps or fewer? Prove it! By changing one letter in each step to form English words, and leaving all other letters in their original positions, convert CHEAT into STEAL in the fewest possible steps. C H E A T
_ _ _ _ _ … [Link]
Mental Floss » Name the Four-Letter Countries
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Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Get Smart
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The Onion » Man Realizes He Only One Of College Friends Falling Out Of Touch
ATLANTA—Having long assumed he and his four closest friends from college were simply drifting apart as they got older, local 30-year-old Brian Paulson told reporters Wednesday he has slowly come to realize he is the only member of the group losing t… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: razor blades in Halloween candy. New hotness: marijuana in Halloween candy [Spiffy]
[link] [113 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Flight Attendants Sue FAA To Reinstate Cell Phone Ban
The nation’s largest flight attendant union is suing the FAA to reinstate bans on cell phone use during takeoff and landing, arguing that smartphones distract passengers and inhibit the delivery of safety instructions. 
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Fark.com RSS » Mugshots you have to see again, and probably have many times already. Bonus: Fark's favorite paint huffer makes a special guest appearance [Amusing]
[link] [88 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Attention, this is the captain. We've just lost 60% of our potable water on this flight. But if you're thirsty, it's now coming through the ceiling in the main deck [Fail]
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Fark.com RSS » One in 10 Brits admits to getting their annual vacations off to a good start by having sex while waiting at the airport [Cool]
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The Onion » Study: NFL Referees May Be Biased Toward Disciplined Teams
HOUSTON—Shedding light on the suspected league-wide officiating trend, a new study published Wednesday by researchers at Baylor University has suggested that NFL referees may in fact display a clear bias toward disciplined football teams. 
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Fark.com RSS » You know that whole "a single nurse wasn't following protocol" thing? Yeah, well about that [Followup]
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Fark.com RSS » Glastonbury Festival bans Native American headdresses. Village People appearance in jeopardy [Amusing]
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Fark.com RSS » Kentucky elementary school bans birthday cakes, since 17 candles on a 5th grader's cake is considered a fire hazard [Repeat]
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Fark.com RSS » Ebola killed the 'professional courtesy' culture of cover-up in nursing now that one of them is on the verge of dying. With any luck, cops and lawyers will soon follow [Ironic]
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Fark.com RSS » Conservationist wears a cat for a hat, how about that [Strange]
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Fark.com RSS » Rabbi accused of filming women showering at synagogue, says he was just trying to keep an eye on things and make sure they were kosher [Dumbass]
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Fark.com RSS » Our love has made us inseparable. Wait, we actually are inseparable. Aaagghh [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » It's hard to repair your image if you get charged with choking a heckler to death while wearing clown makeup, even if you are eventually acquitted [Obvious]
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Fark.com RSS » Ah, kids. Clean cut. Asking strangers for directions. Playing the "Knock-Out" game [Asinine]
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Weird Universe » Slow Taxi
Need to get somewhere slow? The Turtle Taxi service, currently operating in Yokohama, promises to drive as slowly as possible. They'll even turn off the engine at red lights. The service is said to be popular with pregnant women, the elderly, and parents with sleeping children. [psfk.com]
[Link]
FMyLife » burritobreasts says FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Festive International Holidays the U.S. Should Adopt
Americans have a pretty terrific slate of national holidays, but if we could just add these special days, festivals, and events from abroad, the calendar would be even more delightful. [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Facts About 'Dead Poets Society'
Robin Williams' portrayal of John Keating was one of his iconic roles, and this drama about boys at a prep school in 1959 still endures. [Link]
Mental Floss » Zombieland: Rules to Survive
Can you name the rules for surviving a zombie apocalypse from Zombieland? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this moonlit lighthouse [Photoshop]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "We live in an age of artisanal everything. From craft beers to fancy cheeses, there's nary a food on the market that hasn't been spun through the quality-over-quantity movement. The latest edible: Heirloom popcorn" [Strange]
[link] [119 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Atheist has a "Coming from Jesus" moment worth $2 million [Interesting]
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Weird Universe » Raffaella Carra & The Beatles
Best Beatles cover versions ever! The singer. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There are ways to establish your street cred as a rapper, but being known as 'The alleged flamingo bandit' isn't on that list [Dumbass]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you want to piss off people living in a gated community, just spray paint the words, "Ebola quarantine zone" in big letters on a wall surrounding their homes. "For somebody to do that, it goes beyond vandalism" [Amusing]
[link] [156 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » datgurllllukno says FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML [Link]
FMyLife » ForeverAlone says FML
Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Get Smart
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Fark.com RSS » Attention dictators: If you're finding it tough to locate the kind of torture devices you need to effectively do your job, here's good news– Alibaba is a great place to shop [Scary]
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Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Baby Costume Model
These Parents Are Dressing Their Baby In A Different Costume Every Day Until Halloween. He’s game for it, like a born model.
*
Top 10 Simple Ways to Discourage Break-ins. “Live like you have nothing worth taking” didn’t make the list.
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8 Things You Didn't Know About Zombie Movies. The original zombies were slaves instead of killers!
*
Skipping … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Texas two-step [News]
[link] [454 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Stand Your Ground doesn't apply to victims of domestic violence. Why? Because fark you that's why [Fail]
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FMyLife » failure says FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd feel like a failure if he went to community college. I'm planning to go to community college next year. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Documentary filmmaker comes clean about what it was like being stuck with Edward Snowden in a hotel room for eight days. Also, Snowden suffers from bedhead like the rest of us [Interesting]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Walmart + Stuffed Horse + Ejaculate = Florida, of course [Florida]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Fascinating Facts About Daddy Longlegs
A closer look at the misunderstood arachnids. [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Things You Might Not Know About 'Fight Club'
When Fight Club came out on October 15, 1999, it received mixed reviews and was initially seen as a financial disappointment. [Link]
Mental Floss » The Surprising Water Footprints of 15 Common Things
You’ve heard all about your carbon footprint, but do you ever think about your water footprint? [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Words That Are Way More Interesting Than They Seem
They might seem straightforward on the surface, but hidden behind them is some remarkable quirk or bizarre piece of trivia that sets them apart. [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Gifts For Punctuation Nerds
Tangible expressions of your love of language! [Link]
Futility Closet » Two Lucky Escapes
Image: Wikimedia Commons 
In 1848, railroad construction foreman Phineas Gage was blasting rock near Cavendish, Vt., when an explosion sent a 13-pound tamping iron through his cheek and out the top of his head. Remarkably, he survived: Doctor Edward H. Williams found him sitting in a chair outside his lodgings 30 minutes later, saying, “Doctor, here is business enough for you.” … [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Delightful Official State Symbols
Any state can have an official flag, motto, and tree. It takes a particularly delightful kind of place to have its own government-endorsed donut, dinosaur, or marine animal. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Thanks to our ankle monitor technology we always have the exact location of the dangerous Islamist we caught. Right now for example he is in *checks laptop*…Syria? Dammit" [Fail]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » An all Mac & Cheese restaurant? Shut up and take my money [Cool]
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Fark.com RSS » The secret behind the JFK "Umbrella Man." It's cool, but not as cool as you're hoping [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » Some people just have a hard time letting go of their fallen soldiers, take for instant this French soldier's bedroom from WWI that hasn't changed for 96 years [Weird]
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Fark.com RSS » "Drunken zombie Santa wakes in strangers' St. Paul home, police say" [Amusing]
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Fark.com RSS » Apple and Facebook offer female employees $20,000 to put their ovaries on hold [Interesting]
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Mental Floss » 30 Cosplays from NYCC '14 So Good They Couldn't Wait for Halloween
Ask any devoted cosplayer (short for “costume play”), and they’ll tell you that waiting until October 31 to get a costume in order simply isn’t an option. This past week, thousands of costumed fans flocked to the Javits Center for the ninth annual New York Comic Con to celebrate all things film, TV, gaming, comics, and yes—cosplay. Check out some … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Researchers discover that weather phobia is a thing, a big swirling thing of wind and rain, filled with roof tiles, tree branches, farm animals, and, in general, going to get 1 in 10 Americans [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » Hold still and smile. There's no reason to dreads this week's Mugshot Roundup [Fail]
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Fark.com RSS » Old News: Americans don't work out enough. New News: We work out too much [Stupid]
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Fark.com RSS » Burger joint owner tells female reporter "I'd love to see my meat in your mouth" and lives to laugh about it. (VIDEO) [Dumbass]
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Fark.com RSS » Oregon's first lady adds green farm scandal on top of green card scandal [Followup]
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Mental Floss » 15 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About 'Uncle Buck'
1. John Candy wasn’t the first choice to star. Danny DeVito was originally considered for the role of Uncle Buck. 2. Candy appeared in more movies written or directed by John Hughes than any other actor. Including Uncle Buck, Candy appeared in National Lampoon’s Vacation; Planes, Trains & Automobiles; The Great Outdoors; She’s Having a Baby; Home Alone; and Career … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: Before and after. Difficulty: 20th Century to 21st Century [Photoshop]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
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