Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » "The Cat Man From Kyushu" wheels nine Himalayan and chinchilla cats in a stroller around Tokyo streets, doesn't care what you think because he's retired, hopes you follow him on Facebook and Twitter [Weird]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Origins of 11 Funny Animal-Related Sayings
The origins are often more complicated (and fun) than you’d expect. [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML [Link]
Futility Closet » Page Turners
“Sorts of readers,” categorized for you by Samuel Taylor Coleridge: 1. Spunges that suck up every thing and, when pressed give it out in the same state, only perhaps somewhat dirtier — . 2. Sand Glasses — or rather the upper Half of the Sand Glass, which in a brief hour assuredly lets out what it has received — & … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Lots of people go all out decorating their homes for Christmas, so what's the big deal when they do so for Halloween? Oh, it's the dead babies, isn't it? [Scary]
[link] [106 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you've always equated "fire-breathing" with "unnecessarily and insanely dangerous," Ohio lady just proved you right [Scary]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Wonderful Former Disney Rides
Since Disneyland's opening in 1955, and Disney World's in 1971, a lot of attractions have come and gone. Disney likes to hold on to its successful rides, but some were too costly, or just not popular enough; others were just collateral damage for newer and more exciting rides (the fact that Disney World's Mr. Toad's Wild Ride closed still stings). These … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not News: Disgruntled employee steals company vehicle. Fark: It's a freight train [Scary]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman lives with her husband's dead corpse for nine months to fulfill his wish of letting birds eat his body: "So he wanted me to open the door so the birds could come in but the birds only got as far as the air conditioner," [Fail]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Cities Around Nation Celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day
Cities around the U.S. have voted to recognize Indigenous Peoples’ Day as a non-official holiday on the same day as Columbus Day in order to honor the legacy of those who lived on the North American continent before the arrival of Columbus. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » McDonald's unveils new campaign to address rumors about pink slime and other nastiness. "Are your ingredients 100% pure?" McDonald's: "'Pure' is a word that means different things to different people" [Fail]
[link] [178 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Name the Teams That Don't End in 'S'
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ebola vaccine made in Canada to begin human trials today – side effects include dizziness, sweating, excessive apologizing [Spiffy]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You know your dad is a real prick when he gives away the family dog to strangers on Craigslist [Sad]
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: The Comedy Club That Charges By the Laugh
We See You Laughing A comedy club in Barcelona is testing out facial recognition software that charges audience members by the laugh. Bring your straight face with you. * Pinkies Up, Children What happens when kids are treated to an ultra swanky and expensive dinner? This is what happens, and its pretty entertaining. These are some classy kids. * Better Late … [Link]
FMyLife » Justified12 says FML
Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML [Link]
FMyLife » badplacerightnow says FML
Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML [Link]
The Onion » Voters Excited To Use Midterms To Put Country Back On Different Wrong Track
WASHINGTON—Expressing dissatisfaction with the current course the country is taking, voters across the nation told reporters Monday that they are eager to use next month’s midterm elections to help put the United States back on a different wro… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this steal of a deal before the offer expires [Photoshop]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
The Onion » North Korean Populace Already Mentally Preparing For Whatever Insane Bullshit They’ll Have To Do For Kim Jong-Un Funeral
PYONGYANG—Saying they were taking a deep breath and steeling themselves for the melodramatic public wailing and mass-scale processions they might soon have to engage in, sources confirmed Monday that the people of North Korea were already mentally p… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Would you like to see my special endoscope?" [Dumbass]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Vatican: Gays bring ''gifts and qualities" to the Catholic table and are welcome to bring their own green bean casserole too [Interesting]
[link] [103 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 8 Lifehacks for Dealing with Pets
We've got a doggy bag full of lifehacks to take the stress out of pets. [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: This Is A Test
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's 2014 and perverts still haven't figured out you don't take your 35mm film to the local drugstore to get developed, no matter how artistic you think the pictures might be [Stupid]
[link] [128 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scared of Ebola? Wait until you get the bill for surviving Ebola [Scary]
[link] [204 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Sportsgraphic: NFL Week Six Winners And Losers
Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the sixth week of the NFL season 
[Link]
The Onion » Genetics Emphatically Deny Playing Any Part In Area Man’s Body
TRUSSVILLE, AL—Attempting to distance themselves from the man’s outward appearance, the 46 chromosomes of local sales associate Peter Macon vociferously denied Monday that they had played a direct role of any kind in the present state of his p… 
[Link]
The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: Reasonable Drought
Reasonable Drought 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Hacking ATMs. New Hotness: Pumping them full of gasoline and blowing them up [Interesting]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » School bus bursts into flames. Children immediately notify Facebook, Twitter, then parents (Video) [Scary]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Unathletic Child Returns To Safety Of Back Of Lay-Up Drill Line
Unathletic Child Returns To Safety Of Back Of Lay-Up Drill Line 
[Link]
Mental Floss » Modern Problems: "My in-laws are making the entire family go on a cruise. Can I ever so politely beg off?"
Dear A.J., I'm sending out an SOS. It's my in-laws' 50th anniversary, and they're making the entire family go on a cruise. Can I ever so politely beg off? -MICHAEL FROM CALIFORNIA DEAR MICHAEL, Let me put this in nautical terms for you: Nay. You cannot. Get your landlubbing butt on that cruise ship, and stand in line at the … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The ten types of Japanese men, as categorized by Japanese women. Asparagus bacon roll type men "are exactly what they sound like: meat on the outside, all veggie in the middle" [Obvious]
[link] [70 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Video report of 5000 brown recluse spiders forcing family from home. With helpful picture of giant circus tent [Scary]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When you jack a semi, you might want to find out what's in it first. What exactly does one do with 18 tons of Crisco? [Florida]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Name the Top 20 Harry Potter Characters by Number of Mentions
Take the quiz! [Link]
Mental Floss » The Empire Strikes Back, Remade By 480 Fans
Star Wars Uncut is a fan project to remake the original trilogy using fan-created visuals. Each movie is sliced into 15-second clips, then those clips are recreated by fans. The fan filmmakers use animation, their friends from work, their dogs, their kids, you name it. Then the best/worst recreations are spliced back together into a crazy feature-length Star Wars movie. The … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Big Beer" caves under intense pressure, will not fight state representatives who want to loosen restrictions so craft brewers can have some measure of success. In other news, Big Beer is a thing [Florida]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Drafrica says FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark NotNewsletter #8: Yes, This is Still a Thing [FarkBlog]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Hands-Off Mom Lets Kids Create Own Psychological Issues
BOLTON, VT—Saying it’s important for parents to avoid simply passing their own neuroses on to their children, area mother Tricia Eakins told reporters Monday she believes in taking a hands-off approach and letting her kids develop their own ps… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Aww that's sweet- Wait they went with THAT headline? (Warning: autoplay video) [Sappy]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Julian Assange set to release a Wikileaks clothing line from the Ecuadorian embassy he's been hiding in [Strange]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 113-year-old Minnesota woman forced to lie about her age to get Facebook account [Amusing]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ok, yes we shortened the yellow light times to less than 3 seconds so we could write more tickets. We'll stop doing that now, and thanks for the $8 million in collected fines [Asinine]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A secret cache of UFO photos, hidden away for 50 years, has surfaced and been published to YouTube. Put on a tinfoil hat and have a look at these pictures of what look like tinfoil hats flying through the air of a simpler time and place [Weird]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Can your moles tell your fortune? A Daily Mail very special investigation [Silly]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 23 Fun Facts About ‘Family Matters’
Did we do that? Oh, yes. We did. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You're doing your family a favor if you can avoid giving birth to your child in Alabama or Louisiana [Obvious]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » To battle obesity, an elementary school bans all food at birthday parties [Asinine]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: Math Square #236
The mentalfloss.com Brain Game proudly presents Monday Math Square #236. Enjoy! Place the digits 1 through 9 in the white blanks so that the mathematical equations work both across and down. Each digit 1 through 9 should appear only once in the main grid (the red square). 
Here is the SOLUTION. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Lousiana to Texas: Ne laissez pas l'ebola rouleau [Followup]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of October 13, 2014
The Week In Pictures – Week Of October 13, 2014 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » CDC says they know that Texas nurse got Ebola through a protocol breach. They don't know which one, or how it happened. But is has to be a protocol breach. Otherwise, we are all dead [Interesting]
[link] [254 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Life Expectancy In U.S. Hits Record High
A new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that life expectancy in the U.S. reached a record high of 78.8 years in 2012 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Today's Fark-ready headline: Psychologist says Pistorius is 'broken man' [Obvious]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » wtfguys says FML
Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently, he and his friend invented a new game. It involves sticking duct tape to their pubic hairs, ripping them out, and sticking as many as possible on my face and body before I wake up. FML [Link]
FMyLife » MissBeyoncé says FML
Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML [Link]
Futility Closet » Stretch Goals
Two circles intersect. A line AC is drawn through one of the intersection points, B. AC can pivot around point B — what position will maximize its length? Click for solution … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Columnist believes Columbus Day should be rebooted, perhaps with more explosions, lens flare, and maybe a Gungan or two [Interesting]
[link] [94 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Happy Thanksgiving, Canada. Here are four reasons why Americans should celebrate that instead of Columbus Day [Obvious]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Western media treat Ebola pandemic like a game of Where's Waldo [Interesting]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » States by Capital
Take the quiz! [Link]
Mental Floss » Why is the Second Audio Track on DVDs in French?
Most DVDs come with more than one audio track. The first one is generally English, and more than likely the second one will be French. Pourquoi? [Link]
Weird Universe » Empty Tank, Empty Head
Original article here.
Her obituary, curiously enough, makes no mention of this brush with fame. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How to write about a little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants [Interesting]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Challenge: Show us where in the world is Kim Jong Un [Photoshop]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Blaustein’s Hotel Soap Collection
Albert Blaustein had an impressive resume. He was a constitutional law expert who consulted on the national constitutions for over 14 countries. According to his wikipedia page, he was also editor of the 20-volume work Constitutions of the Countries of the World.
But in his personal life, he pursued a more eccentric passion. He collected hotel soap. He started collecting … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Instead of Columbus Day, some U.S. cities now celebrate Indigenous People's Day [Spiffy]
[link] [247 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Our traffic lanes are too wide and it's killing us [Obvious]
[link] [194 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » These are the Chemicals Inside Your Smartphone
Sure, you know all about the technology that makes your phone work, but have you ever thought about what chemicals might be inside of it? The American Chemical Society opens up the iPhone and breaks it down for you in the video above—and you might be surprised! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Really want to get out of the hospital? Stealing an ambulance will get you out of there but you probably won't like where you are going when you get caught [Dumbass]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Inspirations Behind Movie Monsters
The Real-Life Inspirations Behind 8 Movie Monsters. Most, but not all, are thoroughly unsavory characters.
*
How a Cemetery Ends Up Underground. Or at least in the basement, under a floor of bricks.
*
What if I put sugar in someone's gas tank? Turns out there’s a better way to ruin someone’s car, but I wouldn’t recommend it.
*
So Just How … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here's something that's unforeseen – a giant squid attacking a submarine [Scary]
[link] [94 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » News: A 14-year-old boy is arrested. Fark: For dressing up as a clown, chasing and scaring kids [Amusing]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » This Is A Test
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » 2004: Atheism is the only rational answer, and only feeble-minded people disagree. 2014: Atheism is filled with irrational reasoning, but here's why that's totally okay [Obvious]
[link] [599 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Flight attendants union suing to have the FAA reinstate the electronics ban during takeoff and landing because passengers are no longer listening to the safety demonstrations. That's the joke [Unlikely]
[link] [139 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I received an email from an angry parent, demanding that I give his daughter an A on a project which I had given her a 0 on. The project was to pick an article related to science and to write an essay on it. Hers was a hoax article relating to Ebola patients rising from the dead. FML [Link]
Futility Closet » In a Word
consenescence
n. the growing old together [Link]
Mental Floss » 12 Halloween Ideas From 1884's Hottest Costume Guide
Suggestions from 'Male Character Costumes, a Guide to Gentlemen's Costume Suitable for Fancy Dress Balls and Private Theatricals.' [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The good news is that Nebraska police have curtailed home-grown meth. The bad news is that Mexican cartels are filling the void [Scary]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Wrong Way
Frozen poop pills?!? Yes, that is what they are using to treat Clostridium difficile, or C diff, a bacteria that when over abundant in the bowel causes debilitating diarrhea. Samples of feces from a healthy donor with a good bacterial balance in the bowel are put in capsules that are acid resistant and frozen. The capsule is acid resistant so … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » More and more pedestrians are being attacked by trains. If only there were some way to avoid these deadly menaces [Dumbass]
[link] [114 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You're out in the wilderness on a hunting trip. You come across a fellow hunter being mauled by a grizzly bear. What do you do hot shot, what do you do? [Scary]
[link] [130 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this jar bearer [Photoshop]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
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