John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » "We're not out for money, we're out to get justice," says Eric Garner's widow who is suing New York City and the NYPD for $75 million [Unlikely]

Saturday 11 October 23:25:52 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [141 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man with an explosive device inside his leg taken to three hospitals before one would take him, then made to wait inside ambulance. No, not a terrorist, just a "older" man who had been tinkering with the device when it became lodged inside hi

Saturday 11 October 23:21:29 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you heard a very loud boom from Redstone Arsenal, AL this week, post spokesmen say you have nothing to worry about. Next question, citizen? [Unlikely]

Saturday 11 October 23:15:42 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know, on second thought it might be nice if y'all came back and hung around for a while [Obvious]

Saturday 11 October 22:53:09 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What Does a $1 Million RV Look Like?

Saturday 11 October 22:44:36 UTC 2014

Having slept in everything from the back of our car to a 40-foot fifth wheel, my husband and I decided to take a look at just how far from “roughing it” you can get with today’s high-end RVs. We asked two RV dealers in Alvarado, Texas (just south of Fort Worth), to show us their best models. We looked at … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Our long national pork nightmare is over. Bacon prices to plummet, sausages to once again slip easily into your budget [Spiffy]

Saturday 11 October 22:41:11 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bare bones burglar bones bear [Sick]

Saturday 11 October 22:12:41 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jefferson Parish, Louisiana isn't saying it's Ebola, but a patient who recently came in contact with someone from west Africa was just dropped off at the hospital by people in hazmat suits. Again, they aren't saying it's Ebola, but [S

Saturday 11 October 20:00:13 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [133 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this stylish fashion model [Photoshop]

Saturday 11 October 20:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Of all the ways to prove that you've been wrongfully denied benefits, this one kind of sucks the most [Sad]

Saturday 11 October 19:52:30 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 80-year-old woman beats off attacker with vacuum cleaner. Bonus: strangest police sketch ever [Florida]

Saturday 11 October 19:45:28 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Enjoying your nice glass of orange juice in the morning? Well, enjoy the heart attack that goes with it [PSA]

Saturday 11 October 19:39:02 UTC 2014

PSA [link] [42 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Forge says FML

Saturday 11 October 19:36:30 UTC 2014

Today, I went to my grandma's yard sale, only to find my baby pictures being sold for 25 cents each. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Three-year old takes a Jaguar for a test drive [Scary]

Saturday 11 October 19:19:52 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You've won a Nobel Prize and just gotten a half-pound of gold in the form of a medal. What's it like to take it through TSA screening? [Amusing]

Saturday 11 October 18:24:39 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Literary Riddles

Saturday 11 October 17:15:00 UTC 2014

“Why is a raven like a writing desk?” is just one of literature’s most famous riddles. * Don't miss peak leaf season with this predictive map showing all the best locations for fall foliage in the coming weeks. * In a strange twist on the classic story of lying about your age online, a 114-year-old woman faked her birth date … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What would you do if you found an egg and it hatched a dragon? [Weird]

Saturday 11 October 16:07:07 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [173 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For $800k you can own Johnsonville. No bratwurst or other sausage products included [Strange]

Saturday 11 October 15:45:33 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Dear Prudence: I just learned that one of my dearest friends is an anti-vaxxer. Am I right to end the friendship?" "Dear Common Sense: Yes. End that friendship right now" [Obvious]

Saturday 11 October 15:22:55 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [266 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Hermit Crab of Spiders

Saturday 11 October 15:01:07 UTC 2014

This spider uses discarded snail shells as homes. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thief gets stuck in a chimney after an attempted restaurant break-in, as Australia's flue season officially begins [Fail]

Saturday 11 October 14:53:17 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When Republican lawmakers in Arizona start talking about the merits of legalizing marijuana, you know the end of prohibition is just around the corner [Spiffy]

Saturday 11 October 14:02:11 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [128 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption these walruses [Caption]

Saturday 11 October 14:00:01 UTC 2014

Caption [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Everett Semone had an axe, he gave his parents 40 whacks, when the locals saw what he had done, they tied him up until police could come [Sick]

Saturday 11 October 13:10:07 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this jumping shooter [Photoshop]

Saturday 11 October 13:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I see my 11 STIs as a badge of honour from my past, like battle scars" [Stupid]

Saturday 11 October 12:55:34 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Noisy Falls

Saturday 11 October 12:43:18 UTC 2014

No one disputes that the scenic waterfall near the Italian town of Bellano is very loud when its running (see video below). Sometimes the water is diverted to power a hydroelectric plant. But an unusually wet summer has made the falls even louder than normal, causing tensions to flare in the town. Some residents complain they can't easily hear their … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drive-thru funeral home demolished. Mourners now have to wear pants to funerals again [Florida]

Saturday 11 October 12:40:24 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canadian Health Minister: "We are asking Canadians living in Sierra Leone, Guinea and Liberia to consider leaving by commercial means while they are still available" [Scary]

Saturday 11 October 12:08:08 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An orphaned kitten named Babybel, who lost her leg in a mousetrap while looking for food, has found a new furr-ever home just in time for Caturday. Beware because she still loves cheese [Caturday]

Saturday 11 October 12:00:00 UTC 2014

Caturday [link] [558 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Witchcraft accusations against children on the rise in London. This is not a repeat from 1589 [Stupid]

Saturday 11 October 11:29:24 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After assaulting a man and killing his dog a drug dealer hides from police in his mother's basement. Fark: For seventeen years [Asinine]

Saturday 11 October 10:57:49 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It was just a matter of time before the carpetbaggers and the snake oil salesmen showed up to exploit the Ebola fears [Asinine]

Saturday 11 October 10:54:00 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Follies of the Madmen #231

Saturday 11 October 9:39:19 UTC 2014

[Link]

FMyLife » bluevix says FML

Saturday 11 October 8:55:20 UTC 2014

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML [Link]

FMyLife » SeriousJoker72 says FML

Saturday 11 October 8:47:41 UTC 2014

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » College students pool their resources to make a memorable night for one pizza delivery guy [Spiffy]

Saturday 11 October 8:38:00 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [87 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » MainePains says FML

Saturday 11 October 6:57:15 UTC 2014

Today, my son was crying because he's afraid he might get Ebola. We live in Maine, and he's 16. FML [Link]

FMyLife » housewiththinwalls says FML

Saturday 11 October 6:52:01 UTC 2014

Today, after getting stressed out by my parents having a serious fight for hours, I'm now listening to their make-up sex. FML [Link]

Futility Closet » The Imaginary Prisons

Saturday 11 October 6:31:17 UTC 2014

Italian artist Giovanni Piranesi spent his days making etchings of Roman ruins, but in 1745 he turned out a series of much darker visions, which he called Le Carceri d’Invenzione. “Vaults of colossal proportions from which hang extinguished lanterns, openings closed by bars, spiral staircases and suspended passageways which lead nowhere, immense gallows and wheels, ropes strung on pulleys evoking … [Link]

FMyLife » shatfjord says FML

Saturday 11 October 6:04:09 UTC 2014

Today, I and a coworker got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss' infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 11 October 5:51:51 UTC 2014

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Saturday 11 October 4:38:47 UTC 2014

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fugitive arrested on charges of felony O Face [Amusing]

Saturday 11 October 3:56:55 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sept. 10: "We will downgrade and destroy ISIS." Today: ISIS is starting to move into Baghdad's suburbs and now has shoulder fired anti-aircraft weapons [Obvious]

Saturday 11 October 3:40:24 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [194 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It took a 19th century math genius to explain what New Yorkers have known for years [Silly]

Saturday 11 October 2:57:03 UTC 2014

Silly [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New customer service robot at Indianapolis airpor…Really? This is really what we're doing? [Fail]

Saturday 11 October 2:49:20 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Alabama 5-year-old forced to sign a suicide-homicide contract after drawing something that looked like a gun, pointing a crayon at another student and saying, "pew, pew." Among other concerns, contracts signed by minors isn't legal in Ala

Saturday 11 October 2:02:11 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [152 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 17 Awesome and Weird Bill Murray-Inspired Products

Saturday 11 October 1:53:20 UTC 2014

Here at mental_floss, we love Bill Murray, who is always doing awesome stuff—so when I decided to brainstorm art for our newly renovated office, it wasn't hard to decide where to start. In the process, I discovered so many awesome Bill Murray-inspired things available for purchase, so I threw this list together. You're welcome! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Brunch is worse than adolescent, it is an adolescent's idea of how adults spend their time" [Silly]

Saturday 11 October 1:45:14 UTC 2014

Silly [link] [121 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why are police using military-grade weapons in high schools? Simple question, not a lot of answers [Interesting]

Saturday 11 October 0:35:22 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [185 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: The Fall of Antwerp

Saturday 11 October 0:00:05 UTC 2014

The First World War was an unprecedented catastrophe that shaped our modern world. Erik Sass is covering the events of the war exactly 100 years after they happened. This is the 148th installment in the series. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Captain Whatever [Photoshop]

Saturday 11 October 0:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

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