Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I looked up my childhood bully on Facebook, hoping she'd gone fat and ugly. Turns out she's drop-dead gorgeous and very successful. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CIA pinkie swears it is no longer spying on the governments of our friends in Western Europe, and hasn't been for the past two months [Unlikely]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Little Shop of Horrors' at Mount Baker Theatre a dream job for costume and wig designer Jessica Carr. No real reason to submit this other than to complete the ever rare LSOH trifecta, confuse the Bellingham Herald newspaper webmaster [Amusing]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "In a land of melting ice-creams, sandy feet and fluffy bears, how could anyone be fearful of terrorism?" 'Terror doodles' prompt removal of Australian man from commercial airline flight [Asinine]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » San Francisco food nazis drive a Chinese restaurant cook insane. "Yes we use MSG, No, we don't care about organic food and we don't give a shiat about gluten-free" [Amusing]
[link] [414 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Is it OK to hate hipsters? "They can be crass, attitudinal, have offbeat ideas about the rights of way a fixed-gear bike is afforded in traffic. But they're just as often culturally engaged, self-reflective. I mean, come on, we were all young
[link] [121 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Elitist residents of Machester-by-the-sea regret changing the name of their pretentious village of snobs from simple Manchester [Silly]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » chubbyg says FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me when I was going to shave my arms now that summer is coming in Australia. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mayor of Munich officially opens this year's Oktoberfest, when you can drink as much as you do on Fark normally and you don't look bad doing it. So, yeah, PROST [Hero]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these vista viewers [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 100 pound tortoise found roaming the streets of Sarasota. No word if he said 'Hello' to the DEA along his journey [Florida]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » No matter how persuasive he is, if a guy asks to kill you so that he can bring you back to life, don't let him [PSA]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Survivalist who killed police officer in Pennsylvania has "nowhere to go," says police chief who doesn't know where he is [Followup]
[link] [113 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 100-year-old woman jumps out of cake v…e…r…y s…l…o…w…l…y [Amusing]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How Nixon, Joyce Nalepka, and The War On Drugs™ saved us all from the insidious menace of the McCoke spoon [Asinine]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Orange Is the Old Black
To investigate the conditions in the New York State prison system for women circa 1916, socialist reformer Madeleine Zabriskie Doty arranges to have herself incarcerated, masquerading as a real criminal, under the name "Maggie Martin."
Read her experiences here, in SOCIETY'S MISFITS.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Utah police investigating a home invasion, in which two polygamist women dressed in ninja costumes came armed with knives and a stun gun and attacked two adults" [Scary]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Residents in beach town complain about girls standing around in bikinis [Florida]
[link] [169 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » pasquale says FML
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML [Link]
FMyLife » failingdaily says FML
Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So, like, it turns out that, like, filler words are like, not as much of a, like, problem as everyone, like, thinks they are, you know [Interesting]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Judge comes up with novel punishment idea: go stand in the corner [Silly]
[link] [8 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man slashes 10-year-old girl's bicycle tire after she allegedly ran over his foot twice. So, of course, he's the bad guy [Strange]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two Russian fighter jets were stopped by U.S. F-22s near Alaska. This is not a repeat from the Cold War (though it might be getting a wee bit chillier these days) [Scary]
[link] [124 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "I was literally in class like right before the lunch bell rang and they had said stuff about the rats being in the kitchen and said like 'Have a nice lunch' and I was like 'Oh. Ewwww.'" [Sick]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Wallet inspector." Whoah, I can't believe that worked [Dumbass]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » 19,998 And Counting
This entry is weird only in the fact that it's happened to one of our own through the magic of the internet. The number in the title represents the number of times the photos in this person's on-line offering have been looked at by visitors to either the site itself, Google Maps, or Google Earth. The back story goes something … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Blue Ribbon Romero Commission has released their final findings on the the relationship between banana peels and friction [Amusing]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 10% of U.S. workers have gone to work high on pot. Other 90% lost their job after forgetting to show up [Strange]
[link] [168 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How El Niño Happens
The weather phenomenon called El Niño has been on my radar* since about the year 2000, but I never really knew what it was. In this short video from The New York Times, we get a simple, straightforward explanation of what El Niño is, and why it happens. If you've ever wondered what El Niño really is, set aside two … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The moral of this story is that you should never run a business on the honor system. And that you shouldn't start selling pumpkins until October even if the money is going to a good cause [Fail]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Brothers fight each other with sticks over stolen okra, landing them in deep gumbo. Okra, serious business [Fail]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Staggering Beauty
A useless, time-wasting distraction from the site staggeringbeauty.com. (You need to have javascript enabled on your browser to get it to work.)
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this dashing man of the sea [Photoshop]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » While other countries decriminalize possession of small amounts of even hard drugs for personal use, the draconian police state of Hawaii continues to throw young men in jail for having as little as 18 pounds of crystal meth in their backpack [Dumbas
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » camerashyguy says FML
Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML [Link]
FMyLife » tbree says FML
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Great Movie Cars
In the 1970s, a great car was just as much a movie's star as its leading men and women. * For Soviet Union criminals, even tattoos carried secret messages. Body art could indicate religion, drug addiction, sexual orientation, and even childhood history, where mermaid tattoos were much more sinister than they looked. * Though Mount Everest remains the gold standard … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » I will not share my lunch at school. I will not share my lunch at school. I will not share my lunch at school [Asinine]
[link] [138 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Felines invited, Jellicle ball, Fur all matted, Shave off it all. Catur-shave [Caturday]
[link] [624 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Poll: More than half of Colorado voters disapprove of recreational pot, Cheetos, Mountain Dew [Followup]
[link] [105 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Finally, an alternative for all those kids with too much cancer to go to Space Camp [Hero]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Bebbo says FML
Today, I was hit with a sudden onset of diarrhea and had to use the washroom on the train. As soon as I pulled down my pants, my worst nightmare came true, as someone opened the door and exposed me to the other passengers. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Goose hunter attacked by croc and manages to shake it off by poking it in the eyes. Then he has a "few" beers to numb the pain – it's the Australian way [Hero]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » And so the rioting starts in Scotland [Obvious]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police in Juneau, Alaska are on the lookout for the person who stole $40,000 in jewelry from Costco. In other news some Costco stores carry $40,000 worth of jewelry [Strange]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » In a Word
asmatographer
n. a composer of songs While on the road with his 1927 musical Funny Face, George Gershwin left “two notebooks containing at least forty tunes” in a hotel room in Wilmington, Del. “After calling the hotel and learning the notebooks could not be located, he did not seem greatly perturbed,” wrote his brother and lyricist, Ira. “His attitude is … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pearl-clutching parents petition Ben & Jerrry's over 'Hazed & Confused'" ice-cream name, and not for the reasons you're thinking [Stupid]
[link] [181 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » hypercrite dad says FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sierra Leone really and truly is shutting down everything. Three day lockdown to halt Ebola [Scary]
[link] [161 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » TuT says FML
Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A note to parents: don't let your children drink the delicious juice inside E-Cigarettes [Obvious]
[link] [119 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Hey my car is right where I left it… 40 years ago" [Weird]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Seven pumpkin flavored liquors that will test the limits of your tastebuds, sanity [Sick]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Guy pulls the "just kidding" card after attempting armed hold up of the bar at the local country club. Again [Florida]
[link] [7 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » The Coldest Case
It appears that the 126 year old cold case of Jack the Ripper has been solved by DNA testing. A shawl that was alleged to have been found next to Catherine Eddowes, one of the Ripper's victims, carries mitochondrial DNA profiles from both Eddowes' line and the familial line of one of the Ripper suspects. Polish immigrant Aaron Kosminski, who … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my boyfriend broke things off, because he says I have a "horrible, horrible personality" and that I'm only really fuck-buddy material, which is a problem because he wants something long-term. We've been dating for three years. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: Reims Cathedral Burns
Wikimedia Commons The First World War was an unprecedented catastrophe that shaped our modern world. Erik Sass is covering the events of the war exactly 100 years after they happened. This is the 144th installment in the series. September 19-20, 1914: Reims Cathedral Burns In mid-September 1914, it was still anyone’s guess who would win the Great War on the … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » White House evacuated. Update: Intruder has been apprehended [Scary]
[link] [156 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This futuristic World's Fair concourse needs some futuristic Photoshop help [Photoshop]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
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