Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » How to embarrass your kid when he gets older.. "Here's little Timmy in the bathtub. Here's little Timmy in his rabbit pajamas. Here's little Timmy, bored, faceplanting on a sofa in the Oval Office in front of the President" [Amusi
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Fark.com RSS » Three crew members of the International Space Station landed safely in glorious republic of Kazakhstan early this morning. Very nice [Spiffy]
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Futility Closet » Still Life
In 2009 British artist Roger Hiorns won the Turner Prize by melting a passenger aircraft engine, pouring it through a funnel, and spraying it with water to break it into fine granules. Its dimensions are listed as “variable.” [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Break out the batter, marinara sauce and lemon wedges, it's giant squid time again [Strange]
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Fark.com RSS » Guy found a touching way to honor his long-dead twin: pose as him and collect his benefits for years and years [Interesting]
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FMyLife » hockusa3 says FML
Today, I was driving to the DMV to take a test, after getting some points removed from my license. On the way there, I got a speeding ticket and got my license suspended completely. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man crashes into stopped van, then goes down the road to run into the front steps of a house, then drives from there and knocks down a power pole, then flees on foot with his dog who was along for the ride. Ta-da (Oh, alcohol was involved) [Dumbass]
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Fark.com RSS » Supermarket tries to hire a sniper to take out one seven inch endangered bird [Fail]
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FMyLife » ayeayeboy19 says FML
Today, I was watching "My Strange Addiction". The woman featured ate rocks. While judging her weird habit, I realised I was chewing on a coat-hanger the whole time. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Remember the black man killed by police in a Walmart while holding a BB gun sold at the store? After viewing security footage that contradicts him, the 911 caller has conveniently changed his story [Sick]
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Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: Do you make your own ice cream or custard? Have tips on sating the sweet tooth from home? Show us how it's done [Interesting]
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The Onion » American Voices: Oscar Pistorius Found Not Guilty Of Murder
A high court in South Africa ruled that “Blade Runner” Oscar Pistorius is not guilty of murdering girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, though the judge added, “It is clear his conduct was negligent.” What do you think? 
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The Onion » Goodell Assures Fans He Was Too Busy Dismissing Other Players’ Assaults To Watch Ray Rice Tape
NEW YORK—In response to allegations that his office had received a copy of the footage months ago showing former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice hitting his then-fiancée, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell assured fans Thursday that he had… 
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The Onion » Infographic: The Pros And Cons Of Military Intervention Against ISIS
In a televised address to the American public Wednesday, President Obama laid out plans for using military force to destroy the ISIS terrorist network. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » 36 Things You Might Not Know About Cats
Amazing facts for the cat lovers out there. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Teacher shoots armed and dangerous nutjob in elementary school bathroom [Hero]
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Mental Floss » 11 Beautiful Black Chickens
If you live in an area where livestock is grown, you usually see chickens that are either white or various shades of brown, with an occasional oddball black chicken. There are quite a few breeds of chicken that are black, or mostly black, and some even have black skin and meat! Let’s meet some of these attractive black chicken breeds. … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The much-maligned pumpkin beer is not a truly terrible swill, here's why [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this flowery headed woman [Photoshop]
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Fark.com RSS » Countering recent statements by the Dalai Lama that he might be the last incarnation of the Lama, the Chinese government issues a statement saying he damn well WILL reincarnate, and like it [Amusing]
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Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Saturday Morning Beatles
I Hope There’s A Maxwell Episode The Beatles once had a Saturday morning cartoon. Watch them here. * Waking Up There This video of wakeskating the Banaue rice terraces of the Philippines is stunning. * Lip Sing-Along These are the best lip sync scenes in pop culture history. * Cubs and Clubs As a golfer, I really hope that I … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The best way to deal with £14,000 of parking tickets? Cut them up, send them back and pretend they don't exist [Fail]
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The Onion » Statshot: Current Baby Product Recalls
Current Baby Product Recalls 
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Fark.com RSS » FTA: What's more impressive than sharks with laser beams? Dolphins with nuclear missiles [Misc]
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Fark.com RSS » You know it's going to be a bad day at the auto center when your first customer's car is on fire and holding a dead body [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » Florida man invents screen to prevent people from rubbernecking at crime scenes and accidents. Guess you can kiss the Florida tag goodbye [Florida]
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Fark.com RSS » On 9/11 2001 Lt. Heather "Lucky" Penney took off from Andrews AFB in her F-16 with orders to bring down United Flight 93 but there was no time to load missiles or ammo onto her plane, which left her just one way to carry out her mission [Hero
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Fark.com RSS » "We're sorry for the damage we caused to your luggage and hope this suitcase full of plastic explosives in some small way compensates you for your loss" [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » It's OK to commemorate 9/11 on Twitter. That is, unless you're a personified rubber vajayjay for dudes to fap with [Fail]
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Mental Floss » The Stories Behind 10 Johnny Cash Songs
Here's what the Man in Black was singing about. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "A 37 year old man has been charged with arson after allegedly setting fire to a sporting club rooms at Littlehampton early this morning." And that's the whole story, so for once you are okay only reading the headline [Silly]
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Fark.com RSS » Headline: "Tattoo taboo fades in workplaces" TFA: "Tattoo regret can be expensive" [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » Fossil named after other fossil [Unlikely]
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The Onion » Uneasy Détente Forms Between Man Sitting On Patio, Bee
GREENWOOD, IN—With relations in the patio area approaching crisis levels for much of the past 15 minutes, sources within Cityside Grill’s outdoor dining space confirmed Thursday that an uneasy détente had finally developed between area … 
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Fark.com RSS » First it was onions and now it's pumpkins. What's next? Quince? [Sappy]
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The Onion » Infographic: The Aftermath Of September 11
As America reflects on the anniversary of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, here are a few ways our nation’s perceptions have changed in the wake of 9/11 
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Fark.com RSS » The Navy is now using a Chicago ER to train combat medics [Obvious]
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Fark.com RSS » Woman accidentally shoots friend in the leg. At least he used to be her friend [Fail]
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Fark.com RSS » Did you know that 'Hostel' was a documentary? [Scary]
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The Onion » Poll: 80% Of Americans Would Get In Vehicle With Stranger For Chance At New Life
WASHINGTON—According to a poll released Thursday by the Pew Research Center, 80 percent of Americans would, if given even one opportunity, enter a stranger’s vehicle for a shot at starting a new life. 
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The Onion » Casino Reporting Steady Profits From Slot Machine That Promises Players They Will Lose
LAS VEGAS—Touting robust traffic on par with some of its most popular games, representatives from Las Vegas’ Bellagio resort said Thursday that the casino was enjoying steady profits from a new slot machine that explicitly guarantees players t… 
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Mental Floss » Beautiful Bowling Balls Dance in Waves
A "pendulum wave" is a series of pendulums arranged in a row, hanging at different lengths. You may have seen them as desk toys (not the click-clack balls; these swing the other way), or at a science museum. But below, we see an awesome wave pendulum made with bowling balls, complete with little chimes the balls hit as they swing, … [Link]
The Onion » Person Standing Far Away From Burial Must Have Deep, Dark Secret About Deceased
TWIN FALLS, ID—According to eyewitnesses, a solitary figure who was seen standing far from the other mourners at Thursday’s burial service for local man James McManness must know some deep, dark secret about the deceased. 
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The Onion » Fox Sports Announces Plans To Mic Up NFL Players’ Tendons
LOS ANGELES—In an effort to provide football fans with a more immersive at-home viewing experience, officials from Fox Sports announced Friday that the network will “mic up” players’ tendons during all NFL games this season. 
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Fark.com RSS » What online news looked like on 9/11 [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » "Dear Prudence: I was a beautiful, sexy woman; men wanted me. My husband ravished me. And then, I got pregnant. Now I look like a troll. Is it right to blame my child for this?" Certainly we have no problem believing you're a troll [Fail]
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Mental Floss » How Rainbow Rowell Went From Newspaper Reporter to Superstar Novelist
A friend asked me, “What are you writing for yourself?” I realized I’d never written anything just for myself. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Knoxville news station was taping morning program when suddenly OMG GIANT BATS (w/video) [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » "In addition to terabytes of child pornography, police also discovered fifty frozen cats in the suspect's home" [Florida]
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Futility Closet » Likewise
A charming little scene from mathematical history — in 1615 Gresham College geometry professor Henry Briggs rode the 300 miles from London to Edinburgh to meet John Napier, the discoverer of logarithms. A contemporary witnessed their meeting: He brings Mr. Briggs up into My Lord’s chamber, where almost one quarter of an hour was spent, each beholding the other with … [Link]
Mental Floss » Why Are Baseball Seasons 162 Games Long?
This week, Major League Baseball released the schedule for the 2015 season. You may have noticed that it starts later and ends later than previous seasons, but each team still plays 162 games, just as they have for decades. But how did MLB arrive at such a seemingly arbitrary number? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "In one of Leonardo da Vinci's many notebooks containing innumerable artistic and scientific sketches and notes of incomprehensible importance, there is a sketch of two penises with legs and tails walking towards a crudely drawn anus" [Am
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Fark.com RSS » You may want to sit down for this, but homeschooling is bad for children [Obvious]
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Fark.com RSS » School system: Yes, lesson plans on George Bush and Adolf Hitler were approved for class. No, they weren't meant to be taught together [Stupid]
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Fark.com RSS » You might want to take this study that says sodium does not affect blood pressure with a grain of salt. Or, if you strictly follow CDC guidelines, don't [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » Having nothing else to be concerned about, local residents are miffed with garbage can lid covers being changed from green to red. (With picture of some of the victims of this atrocity) [Silly]
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Fark.com RSS » Two fraternity brothers charged with hosting "all-you-can drink" party and inviting 18-year-old woman who learned just how much she can drink before falling out of a window [Sad]
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Fark.com RSS » "Real quick reminder to all the college students that are coming back to Boston to further their higher education. This is really important: nobody in the 617 area code likes you" (w/ vid) [Amusing]
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Fark.com RSS » Man learns the hard way that you can't always trust the bar to check IDs after being arrested for going home with 15-year-old at closing time [Asinine]
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Fark.com RSS » Crazed man goes through neighborhood using knife to trash cars, destroy an American flag, and decapitate a stuffed animal. "He drove here, got out and decided to start cutting. That's crazy" [Scary]
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Weird Universe » Kaiser Wilhelm Toilet Paper
I knew that it's popular to put politician's faces on toilet paper (for instance, Amazon sells Obama toilet paper 
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FMyLife » PerfectVision says FML
Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML [Link]
FMyLife » lolwut says FML
Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Kawachi Fuji Gardens, Kitakyushu, Japan [Photoshop]
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Fark.com RSS » Nothing makes doing drugs more uncool than doing drugs with your dad in an interstate motel and he's the one who flips out and can't handle his shiat [Dumbass]
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Weird Universe » John and Mary Newlywed
In 1925 and 1926, Popular Science featured the antics of "John and Mary Newlywed," a young married couple so stupid they did everything wrong around the house. In the instance above from March 1926, John and Mary–despite having perfected anti-gravity as attested to by the unsupported car–are about to blow themselves up and smother themselves with gas fumes.
I regret … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Toronto mayor Rob Ford hospitalized with suspected karma [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » Can't you see what he is saying? A happy worker is a busy worker. Three cents' worth of moon cake could save us thousands of man hours in labor…Let the fools have their moon cake [Dumbass]
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Fark.com RSS » If you can't commit yourself to watching a complete, 10-hour Amish barn raising, here one is in four minutes [Cool]
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Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Spanish Numerals
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Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Scientists on Climate Change
97 cartoonified scientists want to set the record straight on climate change. The 97 Hours of Consensus is almost complete.
*
Andrew Huang recreated the song “99 Luftballoons” using only red balloons. He didn’t need 99 of them; four balloons made all the sounds he needed.
*
How did people discover wine? Did someone just say, “We’ll let this juice rot … [Link]
FMyLife » mybad says FML
Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML [Link]
FMyLife » skinnyguy23 says FML
Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ever wish your morning coffee could be served in a chocolate-dipped edible waffle cup? Yeah, me too [Spiffy]
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Fark.com RSS » Newly discovered hidden city near Stonehenge was a nice place where you could enjoy a beer at the pub before ripping corpses apart and sticking them in the ground [Weird]
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Fark.com RSS » Ben and Jerry's releases new "Satisfy My Bowl" ice cream for stoners [Spiffy]
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Fark.com RSS » Pistorius Victorius? Verdict is being read live by the Judge. Update: not guilty of intentional homicide [News]
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FMyLife » no says FML
Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Forty years later, daredevils hoping to be the next Evel Knievel are still looking to claim his Snake River Canyon jump, epic foot-long 70s shirt collars [Scary]
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Fark.com RSS » What kind of school would ban kids from using ChapStick? Elementary, my dear Watson [Stupid]
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Fark.com RSS » Mental hospital gives day pass to one of its patients–a guy who beheaded his mother and was deemed too crazy for trial. You might want to sit down for this, but he didn't come back [Obvious]
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Fark.com RSS » Chicago bans smoking of cigarettes, e-cigarettes, marijuana, and medical marijuana in all 580 public parks. There, that should fix everything that's wrong with Chicago [Unlikely]
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Futility Closet » The Amazing Sand Counter
A man presents himself as the The Amazing Sand Counter. He claims that if you put some quantity of sand into a bucket, he will know at a glance how many grains there are, but he won’t tell you the number. Can you devise a test that can verify this ability without telling you anything that you don’t already know? … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Don't have a lot of money but you want to go on vacation? Just create a dream holiday using Photoshop and Facebook like this Dutch student did [Spiffy]
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Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 488: "I Tawt I Taw a Puddytat Numba Tree". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]
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Fark.com RSS » Move to rural Japan, have a cow. Or not: "So far there has only been one person who took us up on the cow, and that was two decades ago" [Weird]
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Fark.com RSS » Hole in the ozone layer repairing itself. Paint huffing guy inconsolable [Spiffy]
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The Onion » Obama Vows To Split ISIS Into Dozens Of Extremist Splinter Groups
WASHINGTON—Declaring that the terrorist organization’s actions can no longer be ignored, President Obama vowed Wednesday that the United States would use precision airstrikes for as long as needed to ensure that ISIS is divided into dozens of … 
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Fark.com RSS » Minor issues the super villain lair you're fixing up might have, such as suffocation, sewage backflow, and overcompensation [Interesting]
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Fark.com RSS » Based on a survey of kids who have not even chosen their Halloween costumes yet, Wal-Mart thinks it knows what the hottest 20 toys will be this holiday season [Unlikely]
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Mental Floss » 11 Successful Products Originally Invented for Something Else
Although some of these are sort of cringe-inducing in their original applications, they found new life—and commercial popularity—in unintended ways. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When planning your daring heist, remember: there are good getaway vehicles, and there are great getaway vehicles. There's also the Walmart motorized wheelchair shopping cart in Fruitport [Dumbass]
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Mental Floss » A Levitating Toy Train
Now here's a toy I really want: a levitating train. Just take a superconductor, add liquid nitrogen, and you've got a floating train! This video is in Japanese, but you don't need to speak the language to enjoy the effect. (The train starts moving just after the 1-minute mark, after ladles of liquid nitrogen have been dumped on it.) Note: … [Link]
FMyLife » Crash says FML
Today, I took my daughter out driving to practice for her road test. I told her to make a left into a parking lot. She missed the 30 foot wide entrance, but not the two foot wide tree. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Theme: White collar workers in blue collar jobs [Photoshop]
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