John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Woman accused of hoarding collies threatened with jail after judge tires of her Lassie-faire attitude [Dumbass]

Thursday 4 September 23:55:40 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Woman left with suspected broken neck after ice bucket challenge," says headline above article explaining that she didn't have a broken neck [Fail]

Thursday 4 September 23:29:31 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The science behind why time seems to go by much quicker as an adult than when you were a child. "Quit multitasking" [Sad]

Thursday 4 September 23:17:02 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [77 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » candy man says FML

Thursday 4 September 23:07:41 UTC 2014

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML [Link]

FMyLife » mlustpdx says FML

Thursday 4 September 23:07:40 UTC 2014

Today, my cat decided to use my bowl of rice krispies as his litter box. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Is Seattle's CenturyLink Field So Loud?

Thursday 4 September 23:00:00 UTC 2014

Last season CenturyLink Field was awarded the Guinness World Record for the loudest open-air stadium in the world. Why, exactly? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Note to the NYPD: if you are going to rough up and arrest a woman for "loitering" while her kids are inside a restaurant using the bathroom; make sure she's not a prominent human rights lawyer and former NYC public advocate first [Fail]

Thursday 4 September 22:51:49 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [194 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Every comment on recipe blogs, ever. "I didn't have buttermilk, so I just poured baking soda into a container of raspberry yogurt. It tasted terrible" [Obvious]

Thursday 4 September 22:51:25 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Armed patriot-heroes from an AZ "border militia" catch an MS-13 affiliated group smuggling illegals and drugs over the border. Well, okay, it was actually conservationists counting bats, but it's the thought that counts, right? [Asinine]

Thursday 4 September 22:42:23 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rob Ford campaign volunteer arrested after scuffle with man wearing Rob Ford mask [Weird]

Thursday 4 September 22:36:43 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember that Ex-Navy SEAL car salesman who was shot in a parking lot in Ohio by those three racist black guys? No he wasn't [Followup]

Thursday 4 September 21:55:13 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [141 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "There's no delicate way to put it: I am a fat man. I know that pants are designed to be worn around my navel, but this is the thickest part of my body. Even with a belt, my pants fall down. How should fat guys wear their pants?" [Interes

Thursday 4 September 21:39:09 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [153 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Get your own farking w00tstout Beer making kit available for home-brewing the best farking beer in the comfort of your own basement [Wheaton]

Thursday 4 September 21:29:40 UTC 2014

Wheaton [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The first rule of day care toddler fight club is, you do not talk about day care toddler fight club [Sick]

Thursday 4 September 21:11:14 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [46 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: iPhone 6 Fans Paying Line Holders To Wait Outside Stores

Thursday 4 September 21:10:00 UTC 2014

Apple fans desperate to buy the iPhone 6 on the first day of its release later this month are paying line holders hundreds of dollars to wait outside Apple stores and hold their spots.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » The beheadings will continue until morale improves [Obvious]

Thursday 4 September 21:09:54 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: A nod to that tasty little fungus among us. Let's talk about interesting ways to put mushrooms to good use. From topping pizzas to inclusions in sides, stuffed or put on a bun as sandwich, how do you like your mushrooms? [Intere

Thursday 4 September 21:00:32 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [126 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former head of Israeli intelligence: calm down about ISIS already. It has no significant military ability [Interesting]

Thursday 4 September 20:57:12 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Tiny children are not horses," says noted vaccine expert Donald Trump [Amusing]

Thursday 4 September 20:55:48 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's not exactly the Twinkie Defense, but it's awful close [Florida]

Thursday 4 September 20:38:36 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Delightful Finds From Internet Archive Book Images

Thursday 4 September 20:34:21 UTC 2014

There’s a new Flickr account called Internet Archive Book Images. These are public domain images from books that have been digitized for posterity. We love it! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Action movies make you fat. DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY [Unlikely]

Thursday 4 September 20:33:59 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Criminals increasingly ditching their traditional drug business in favor of far more lucrative "food crime" [Interesting]

Thursday 4 September 20:18:45 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What's your poop trying to tell you? If it's glowing, you might have colorectal cancer [Interesting]

Thursday 4 September 20:16:58 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The best thing about flying Qantas is: Their safety record? Nah. Their on-time departures? Nope. Their awesome beer pouring machine? Bingo [Cool]

Thursday 4 September 20:14:15 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these drummers [Photoshop]

Thursday 4 September 20:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you fake an Ice Bucket Challenge so you can dump urine and feces on an autistic teenager, you are a terrible person [Sick]

Thursday 4 September 19:58:22 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I don't know what the hell a Bieber is – but it just was hospitalized for fapping injury [Spiffy]

Thursday 4 September 19:55:03 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists discover new way to kill viruses and bacteria. Difficulty: It involves injecting you with explosives and blowing them up [Strange]

Thursday 4 September 19:53:33 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 40 Tremendous College Traditions

Thursday 4 September 19:50:44 UTC 2014

What do people do in the name of tradition at your school? [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Hidden Gems in San Francisco

Thursday 4 September 19:45:25 UTC 2014

Anyone can find the Golden Gate Bridge or Alcatraz, but if you’re willing to embrace the unknown, you’ll find that San Francisco is full of hidden gems. [Link]

Mental Floss » The Brief, Influential Life (and Sudden Death) of the World Football League

Thursday 4 September 19:44:35 UTC 2014

As a business, it was a complete mess. But in terms of football the way we know it today, the WFL was a very forward thinking league. [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About 'Army of Darkness'

Thursday 4 September 19:44:25 UTC 2014

Sam Raimi’s hilarious fantasy is always worth a closer look. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell to move into another taxpayer funded residence [News]

Thursday 4 September 19:35:49 UTC 2014

News [link] [249 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Newly graduated Port Authority police officers wait a whole 0 days before abusing their authority and going on a drunken rampage [Obvious]

Thursday 4 September 19:32:29 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Same TN juvenile prison where 32 inmates did their impression of "The Shawshank Redemption" last week, is this week staging a recreation of the Attica prison riots [Scary]

Thursday 4 September 19:27:17 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [21 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Sportsgraphic: 2014 NFL Players To Watch

Thursday 4 September 19:25:00 UTC 2014

Onion Sports has the comprehensive guide to the most exciting NFL players of 2014. Peyton Manning (QB, Denver Broncos): Expect Manning to quickly bounce back from the Broncos’ crushing Super Bowl defeat with several huge ad campaigns …
[Link]

Mental Floss » Shaking the Cherry Tree

Thursday 4 September 19:22:34 UTC 2014

If you've ever harvested cherries, you know it's a hassle—the fruit can be high up, it's always small, and it's generally hard to handle. So here's a video showing the smart way to harvest cherries: by shaking the whole tree. While this five-minute video is literally just showing a fruit harvest (with no narration or other production touches), it's great. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Joan Rivers' face dies at age 25 [NewsFlash]

Thursday 4 September 19:12:43 UTC 2014

NewsFlash [link] [516 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Statshot: Least Successful Bible Movie Adaptations

Thursday 4 September 19:10:00 UTC 2014

Least Successful Bible Movie Adaptations
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » That douchebag who caused a plane to get re-routed after denying a fellow passenger her seat-reclining rights would like you to know that he might have maybe kinda overreacted a bit [Dumbass]

Thursday 4 September 19:05:01 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Yes, for only £1500 you too can have a giant black cock" [Strange]

Thursday 4 September 18:40:31 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That's the US youth in the corner. That's them in the spot light [Interesting]

Thursday 4 September 18:35:24 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [135 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Talking Down

Thursday 4 September 18:30:03 UTC 2014

The interactive installation Text Rain (1999), by Camille Utterback and Romy Achituv, invites participants to view themselves on a monitor while letters rain down upon them. “Like rain or snow, the text appears to land on participants’ heads and arms. The text responds to the participants’ motions and can be caught, lifted, and then let fall again. The falling text … [Link]

Mental Floss » Mosquitoes Get Bug Bites, Too

Thursday 4 September 18:30:00 UTC 2014

At the moment, I have six mosquito bites on my right forearm, another one further up on my bicep, another one on my other forearm and two on my left calf. I’m a little itchy, to say the least, but my annoyance is tempered from knowing there’s a little bit of karmic justice in the natural world. Turns out, mosquitoes … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This Austrian woman used one simple trick to lose eighteen pounds in one day. Ask me how [Scary]

Thursday 4 September 18:29:33 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [18 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Child Development Experts Say Boys Not Fully Mature Until Avenging Father’s Murder

Thursday 4 September 18:15:00 UTC 2014

WASHINGTON—Citing the central role the process plays in cognitive development, a study released Thursday by the American Psychological Association found that boys do not reach emotional maturity until avenging the murder of their father.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Up next on our credit card data theft is *spins the wheel* Goodwill Stores [Fail]

Thursday 4 September 18:09:33 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 99% of comments made to the FCC favor net neutrality, but you know they only care about what the 1% want [Obvious]

Thursday 4 September 18:05:18 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Three people attacked by dogs in Seattle. Were they Chihuahuas? I bet they were Chihuahuas. *reads article* Well, that's a surprise [Obvious]

Thursday 4 September 18:00:40 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [182 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Latest overpaid, over pampered CEO to come under fire for his jet set lifestyle while leaving a massive carbon footprint is…wait for it [Ironic]

Thursday 4 September 17:38:17 UTC 2014

Ironic [link] [138 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stop me if you've heard this one: Woody, Minnie, and the Statue of Liberty get arrested in Times Square [Fail]

Thursday 4 September 17:25:11 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Colorful Surnames

Thursday 4 September 16:53:55 UTC 2014

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Japan seeks to resume Antarctic whaling next year. Time to pull the Bird of Prey out of mothballs to convince them of the error of their ways [Stupid]

Thursday 4 September 16:52:16 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [150 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fans will no doubt be waiting for this with antici- [Interesting]

Thursday 4 September 16:48:36 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [82 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Job Applicant Totally Nails Interview With Person Who Will Make Life A Living Hell For Next 5 Years

Thursday 4 September 16:40:00 UTC 2014

SAN ANTONIO—Appearing upbeat and optimistic upon leaving the offices of Red Spur Media on Thursday, local job applicant Marc Tullman told reporters he totally nailed his interview with the man who will make his existence a waking nightmare for the n…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » You might want to sit down for this, but it looks like the crack team of internet detectives who assigned themselves the task of hunting down the "original guy" who hacked all those nude photos accused the wrong guy. Again [Fail]

Thursday 4 September 16:37:52 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canada opens North America's first Cat Cafe. Customers say they haven't seen this many cats in one coffee house since the beat generation [Silly]

Thursday 4 September 16:34:20 UTC 2014

Silly [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canada sending most of their available army to Ukrainian peacekeeping exercise [Followup]

Thursday 4 September 16:27:35 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Huffington Post has hired Donte Stallworth as a national security reporter. Yes, that Donte Stallworth, the Truther and drunken driver who killed a guy. No, this is not from The Onion. Where is the "WTF" tag when we need it? [Dumbass]

Thursday 4 September 16:18:25 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Transgender SEAL says coming out was the hardest thing she ever did, even harder than ziplining into a terrorist stronghold under heavy machine gun fire in a high heels and a cocktail dress [Hero]

Thursday 4 September 16:15:47 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [155 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oldest pyramid in Egypt is in danger of collapse. Amway executives plead innocence [Sad]

Thursday 4 September 16:14:01 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Al Queda opening branch office in India. Locations in China, Japan, and Menlo Park to follow [Strange]

Thursday 4 September 16:11:23 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Make fun of the French all you want, but someday we're going to have to turn to them and ask them how to make safer raw cheese [Interesting]

Thursday 4 September 16:10:44 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Deadly pig diarrhea virus outbreak reported in Utah. Official spokesperson for Master Blaster states methane production will be unaffected [Scary]

Thursday 4 September 16:08:34 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If 87 of 150 passengers on a plane are children and their estimated weight was mistakenly tripled, calculate how close the tail of the aircraft came to striking the runway on takeoff [Fail]

Thursday 4 September 16:04:07 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [46 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Jenniesaurus says FML

Thursday 4 September 16:00:38 UTC 2014

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 16 Facts About 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe'

Thursday 4 September 16:00:00 UTC 2014

Here are some things you may not know about this long-lived children’s classic. [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Hello, Governor

Thursday 4 September 15:58:46 UTC 2014

Can you ace the Think Thursday challenge for today's mentalfloss.com Brain Game? NINE U.S. states have capital cities
with multi-word names.
Name as many of these capitals as you can. Here are the ANSWERS. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New iPhone to go on sale on Sept. 19. Yes, there are already people on line in NYC … and they're getting paid to wait [Strange]

Thursday 4 September 15:57:04 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Seven clever tips for making produce last longer as opposed to just eating it like nature intended [Interesting]

Thursday 4 September 15:56:48 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » RIP Dick Butt [Sad]

Thursday 4 September 15:42:38 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Great white shark chomps kayak off Plymouth, Mass. Which technically is just a boating accident. With helpful picture stolen directly from the movie poster [Scary]

Thursday 4 September 15:36:49 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ever been told your face looks like the back end of a bus? Science says it does [Amusing]

Thursday 4 September 15:32:57 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'I need your tray, your plates, and your cutlery'. Hospital now employs robots to carry meals for patients [Cool]

Thursday 4 September 15:25:39 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [28 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Slideshow: Onion Sports’ 2014 NFL Preview: AFC West

Thursday 4 September 15:20:52 UTC 2014

With the 2014 NFL season kicking off this week, Onion Sports has in-depth analysis on each team in the AFC West.
[Link]

The Onion » Slideshow: Onion Sports’ 2014 NFL Preview: NFC West

Thursday 4 September 15:20:51 UTC 2014

With the 2014 NFL season kicking off this week, Onion Sports has in-depth analysis on each team in the NFC West.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Locking your drunk friend in a dorm room and leaving them is now a crime [PSA]

Thursday 4 September 15:20:22 UTC 2014

PSA [link] [65 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Startup Very Casual About Dress Code, Benefits

Thursday 4 September 15:20:00 UTC 2014

AUSTIN, TX—Touting the business’s laid-back, nontraditional corporate culture, Go-Go Maps founder and CEO Mike Hannasch explained to reporters Thursday that his company is pretty casual when it comes to employees’ dress code and benefits…
[Link]

The Onion » I-90 Adds Lane For Drivers Traveling Cross-Country To Stop Woman From Marrying Wrong Man

Thursday 4 September 15:19:00 UTC 2014

WASHINGTON—The Federal Highway Administration announced Tuesday that it will construct an additional lane along Interstate 90 to accommodate drivers traveling across the country in order to stop the woman they love from marrying the wrong man.
[Link]

The Onion » Jerry Jones Claims Dallas Cowboys Are The Team To Beat Up On This Season

Thursday 4 September 15:05:00 UTC 2014

Jerry Jones Claims Dallas Cowboys Are The Team To Beat Up On This Season
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Will everyone who had today in the "Ice Bucket Challenge Is A Satanic Ritual' pool please step forward and claim your winnings? [Asinine]

Thursday 4 September 15:03:29 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Indian woman marries a dog, says she plans to keep him on a tight leash [Strange]

Thursday 4 September 15:03:18 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cobra loose in LA suburb. Thankfully, residents have been warned and know to protect themselves, and knowing is half the battle [Scary]

Thursday 4 September 15:01:41 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 81-year old man in a red bra and matching panties exposes himself to families at his assisted living center's pool. (with hot pink is more his color mug shot) [Florida]

Thursday 4 September 14:54:26 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dog eats 43 socks [Strange]

Thursday 4 September 14:53:42 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is going to the DMV a real drag? Well, it's still no excuse to draw your own license plate [Dumbass]

Thursday 4 September 14:47:07 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Millennials are even less trusting than Generation X was, win ribbon [Interesting]

Thursday 4 September 14:46:30 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [66 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 4 September 14:44:52 UTC 2014

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Family Dinners Can Counteract Effects Of Cyberbullying

Thursday 4 September 14:40:00 UTC 2014

New research suggests that eating dinner as a family four or more times a week may help protect kids against some of the negative effects of cyberbullying by allowing them to talk about their problems with siblings and parents, as well as discuss coping m…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Customer stops at Burger King drive-thru for lunch, admits he was shocked to see the six-foot long boa constrictor curled up by the ordering screen [Scary]

Thursday 4 September 14:35:16 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why is Ketchup So Hard to Pour?

Thursday 4 September 14:30:05 UTC 2014

Ketchup is a tricky thing. If you’re dealing with one of the old-fashioned glass bottles of the stuff that restaurants use and want just a little bit for your fries or burger, you’re out of luck. Instead, you get to deal with what engineer Jennifer Segui calls the “all-or-nothing ketchup quandary.” You tip the bottle to try to and pour … [Link]

Mental Floss » How is a Crossword Puzzle Made?

Thursday 4 September 14:30:00 UTC 2014

Constructing a crossword puzzle is an art form. There’s plenty of erasing, coming up with acronyms, and more erasing. You essentially write it in reverse, but first things first: Pick a size. The New York Times, uses a 15×15 grid for their daily crossword puzzle. That means each row is 15 squares across and 15 squares down. So start there … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man fined $2,000 for throwing plastic Tupperware container into the trash, instead of placing it in the live cat bin [Sick]

Thursday 4 September 14:29:18 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cops under investigation this morning after witnesses saw them reversing up a one-way street and backing over a cyclist. Twice. And then began moving evidence around [Dumbass]

Thursday 4 September 14:26:30 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Reporter asks how likely are you to be arrested for a hidden gun in Alabama. If you're smart the answer in 0% because you wouldn't be in Alabama in the first place [Obvious]

Thursday 4 September 14:20:49 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Beer Jelly

Thursday 4 September 13:08:01 UTC 2014

If you're a big beer fan, you can now spread beer on your toast, in the form of beer jelly. Available for $28 from uncommongoods.com.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » New mother vows vengeance on social media after Big Woody's bar kicks her out for having a shot and a beer with her husband while breast feeding. Social media wants to know who drove them home [Stupid]

Thursday 4 September 13:06:28 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this jumping juvenile [Photoshop]

Thursday 4 September 13:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Back away from the chardonnay ladies – the feds are pushing for new BAC standards that would limit a 120-130 pound woman to a single glass of wine at dinner. No word on Fark thread limits [Interesting]

Thursday 4 September 12:57:16 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [217 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 4 September 12:46:54 UTC 2014

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Electric vehicle giant Tesla has so much faith in its home state of California that it decided to put its newest factory in Nevada instead [Ironic]

Thursday 4 September 12:30:53 UTC 2014

Ironic [link] [130 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Truth in Advertising

Thursday 4 September 11:56:24 UTC 2014

Caution: many, many swears. [Link]

FMyLife » MusicLover18 says FML

Thursday 4 September 11:48:01 UTC 2014

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 4 September 11:48:00 UTC 2014

Today, I bought a new beanbag chair. My cat thought it was a great scratcher and I now have thousands of tiny plastic balls around the house. He decided those looked yummy, and now the scent of vomit and plastic is awful. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 4 September 11:47:59 UTC 2014

Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML [Link]

FMyLife » svenska75 says FML

Thursday 4 September 11:47:58 UTC 2014

Today, I told my physiotherapist a funny story. She got so entertained that she started giggling and twisted my broken arm. The pain was worse than when it broke in the first place. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Colorful Surnames

Thursday 4 September 11:03:20 UTC 2014

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » The science, it burns [Fail]

Thursday 4 September 10:12:00 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Cringeworthy History of Dentistry

Thursday 4 September 10:00:33 UTC 2014

Bloodletting, Bone Brushes, and Tooth Keys: White-Knuckle Adventures in Early Dentistry. And you thought getting a Novocaine shot was traumatic.
*
The History of the World in 15 Music Videos. Not guaranteed to be completely accurate, but more accessible than encyclopedias for the MTV generation.
*
Funny or Die brings us a parody movie trailer about a dystopian world where … [Link]

FMyLife » anonymous says FML

Thursday 4 September 9:01:05 UTC 2014

Today, it was report card day at swimming lessons. Because it was the last day, a little girl brought me flowers. She was the only kid in that class who didn't pass. FML [Link]

FMyLife » adeeri says FML

Thursday 4 September 8:54:04 UTC 2014

Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He apologized by biting my leg. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. In this murder trial we will only present one piece of evidence. The defendant's mug shot goodness. Here it is. The prosecution rests, your honor" [Obvious]

Thursday 4 September 8:11:00 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police increasingly asking victims of crime to do their own investigations because they're busy and stuff [Asinine]

Thursday 4 September 7:11:00 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » British ex-boxing champion Anthony Small defends ISIS beheadings, showing he really does have severe brain damage [Sick]

Thursday 4 September 6:48:00 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Augury

Thursday 4 September 6:27:34 UTC 2014

Ohio State University philosopher Stewart Shapiro relates a puzzling experience that a friend once encountered in a physics lab. “The class was looking at an oscilloscope and a funny shape kept forming at the end of the screen. Although it had nothing to do with the lesson that day, my friend asked for an explanation. The lab instructor wrote something … [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Ridiculous Documents Released Through the Freedom of Information Act

Thursday 4 September 5:34:56 UTC 2014

In addition to being a massive asset to journalists and eager members of the public, FOIA has also shed light on some of the weirder corners of America’s functioning democracy. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman suing to overturn her prenup because it gives her only 1% of her ex's $5.6 billion. I mean, $56 million, no one can live off of scraps like that, she's practically homeless [Dumbass]

Thursday 4 September 5:15:00 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [184 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 487: "Over the Edge". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 4 September 4:01:00 UTC 2014

Farktography [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Apparently there was an active shooter yesterday at Idaho State University. Fark: Chem Professor shot himself in the foot [Fail]

Thursday 4 September 3:15:43 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man robs adult store of merchandise to 'feed kids' – which raises the question: Just how many could each pair of edible panties serve? [Fail]

Thursday 4 September 2:46:22 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So, what are the odds of having your motorcycle accident captured by the Google Street cam as it rolled through your area? Let's ask this embarrassed rider in Brazil [Unlikely]

Thursday 4 September 2:34:50 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Inmate at Montreal jail posts photos to Facebook of himself enjoying Cognac and cigars. No word of when his mandatory helicopter escape will be [Dumbass]

Thursday 4 September 1:05:56 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CSX: You can't film your movie on our active train tracks on a 110-year-old bridge trestle. Director: We'll do it anyway without permission; what could go wrong? [Followup]

Thursday 4 September 0:52:01 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [121 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: Man ordered to pay child support. Fark: for the child he fathered as the victim of statutory rape when he was 14 years old and the mother was 20 [Asinine]

Thursday 4 September 0:47:10 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [248 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 19th-Century Bridal Superstitions for Getting Married and Staying Happy

Thursday 4 September 0:30:00 UTC 2014

At the table, if two spoons are accidentally put down together, there will soon be a wedding in the family. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FREE BEER & MUSIC for FARKERS Friday, 9/5, TRiP Santa Monica (2101 Lincoln Blvd.) Beer Tasting @ 6 PM, Music @ 8 PM [FarkParty]

Thursday 4 September 0:26:26 UTC 2014

FarkParty [link] [6 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 4 September 0:15:43 UTC 2014

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML [Link]

FMyLife » unlucky says FML

Thursday 4 September 0:15:42 UTC 2014

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this shamefaced musician [Photoshop]

Thursday 4 September 0:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [11 comments] [Link]

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