Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Hurricane Cristobal likely to spew sunshine and rainbows over England, but destroy Scotland a little [Ironic]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 9 Useful, Good Housekeeping-Approved Cooking Tricks from the 1920s
Most of the clever cookery timesavers women used a century ago don’t translate to today. The idea of serving breakfast cornflakes from a glass pitcher instead of the usual way (which was apparently with a teaspoon) is nifty, but has been completely unnecessary since Kellogg’s got the idea of making their cereal boxes narrow and tall for pouring instead of … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Millennials are living the dream [Hero]
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ISIS says it's burning marijuana fields in Syria. Plans to burn a little at a time until it's all gone [Cool]
[link] [108 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Adorable Elderly People React To Virtual Reality Device Oculus Rift
After asking a group of game elders to test out Google Glass, the Fine Brothers upped the ante on futuristic technology of today and showed them Oculus Rift, a virtual reality device (and not a rock group like one lady assumed). The elders had no idea what they were dealing with. "I'm not going to electrocute myself, am I?" one … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Visiting Louisiana? Don't drink the water [PSA]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Ahoy there, do you require rescue?" "Naw, I'm good, my boat's just taking on a little water." "I don't think that's a boat." "'Course it is, it's the USS Nissan Sentra" [Strange]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Smashing a 10,648-Magnet Cube
There's a guy on YouTube who goes by the extremely-appropriate handle MagnetNerd. He makes videos of himself doing stuff with Zen Magnets, those spherical neodymium magnets that have been banned in some places due to safety concerns related to children eating the magnets. (Note: do not eat magnets.) Anyway, safety issues aside, this is pure weird fun: MagnetNerd set up … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML [Link]
FMyLife » That idiot says FML
Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Passengers push train off of trapped school girl, this time in Dublin. Train-pushing trifecta in play [Spiffy]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: The Seat of Your Pants
Have A Seat, Always We’ve all heard by now of wearable technology, but wearable furniture? Introducing the chairless chair pants. * Sail Away The mystery of the moving stones of Death Valley has been solved. * Strange Brew These are America’s weirdest brewery locations. * I Scream, You Scream We all scream for futuristic ice cream. * Senior In College … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » That awkward moment when your cellmate overdoses on your underwear [Dumbass]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: Let's turn the tables. If you're helping someone learn how to cook- what are important initial lessons? Do you focus on the ingredients? Knife skills? Cookware/utensils? Help other Farkers guide future cooks as they get thei
[link] [319 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Most Interesting Comics of the Week
Every Wednesday, I write about the most interesting new comics hitting comic shops, bookstores, digital, Kickstarter, and the web. Feel free to comment below if there's a comic you've read recently that you want to talk about or an upcoming comic that you'd like me to consider highlighting. 
1. Tomboy By Liz Prince
Zest Books A true story about growing up … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Russians have crossed the Finnish line [Misc]
[link] [129 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A bane on the economy and social injustice for low-income people [Interesting]
[link] [103 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » People in Iowa apparently use landlines and incur long distance fees [Fail]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 15 Hidden Gems in New York City [Brought to you by Heineken]
You already know the famous museums, iconic buildings, and celebrity hotspots. The next time you find yourself with some free time in the City That Never Sleeps, embrace the unknown by checking out some of the less-hyped attractions that make the city unique. 1. Fort Totten Park This Queens treasure is almost certainly the only place in New York where … [Link]
The Onion » Vikings Intrigued By Matt Cassel’s Ability To Get The Fuck Out Of Adrian Peterson’s Way
MANKATO, MN—Saying his dedication in the film room and on the practice field is beginning to yield dividends, members of the Minnesota Vikings coaching staff told reporters Thursday that they have been very intrigued by starting quarterback Matt Cas… 
[Link]
FMyLife » newswithabitofbite says FML
Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this hungry, hungry hippo [Photoshop]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: ‘Hello Kitty’ Actually A British Schoolgirl
Fans of “Hello Kitty” were shocked after the curator for a new retrospective exhibit at the Japanese American National Museum revealed that the feline cartoon character, who has the face of a cat, is actually a third-grade British schoolgirl n… 
[Link]
Mental Floss » The Objects 10 Celebrities Took to the Grave
Ancient Egyptians weren't the only ones who buried their dead with meaningful artifacts. The ritual is still a common occurrence today, although our reasons are probably different than the Egyptians’ reasons: They believed that the dead would need those certain items in the afterlife. These days, it’s intended as a final tribute to the deceased. Here are what 10 celebrities … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The government wants to buy 12 acres of marijuana, presumably to help congress mellow out and get some work done [Spiffy]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pakistan's opposition leader Khan looking isolated as crisis reaches crossroads, has so far heeded calls not to enter the Mutara Nebula [Followup]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: A Look At The Class Of 2018
Next week, millions of freshmen will begin classes at colleges around the nation. Here’s a by-the-numbers look at the incoming class of 2018 
[Link]
The Onion » Statshot: How Are We Raising Awareness For Our Charity?
How Are We Raising Awareness For Our Charity? 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Arkansas pizzeria under fire after "church bulletin discount" stokes religious fires and raises important issues like where they hell can you find edible pizza in Arkansas? [Amusing]
[link] [288 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and and endless supply of expendable labor [Obvious]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Secretary Of Interior Says Knocking Down Rocky Mountains Could Really Open Nation Up
WASHINGTON—Saying the renovation project will give the country a more modern look, U.S. Secretary of the Interior Sally Jewell told reporters Friday that knocking down the Rocky Mountains could really open up the nation. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Jiff the Pomeranian is the fastest bipedal canine in the world, also the creepiest when dressed in doll clothes [Weird]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Whø færted? [Amusing]
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The Onion » Koch Brothers Encouraging Youth To Make Voices Heard By Registering Super PAC
WICHITA, KS—Saying that perspectives of young Americans are rarely represented in today’s political discourse, Koch Industries executives Charles and David Koch released a public statement Thursday encouraging the nation’s youth to make … 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hungry Hungry Hippos doesn't work out so well in real life [Sad]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Gender Studies
Most restrooms use simple labels such as MEN and WOMEN, but some are more creative. R. Robinson Rowe shared his collection in Word Ways in February 1977: 
He added, “I was reminded of an incident at the treaty congress in San Francisco in 1952, when Japanese delegates unfamiliar with our language were briefed on the nomenclature of hotel restrooms: MEN … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police dog pours one for Michael Brown [Obvious]
[link] [170 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Homeland Security dept. clears own agent of threatening boy scout after "exhaustive investigation" which did not include talking to the victim or witnesses [Obvious]
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Fark.com RSS » God Loves Sex [Misc]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » US second quarter GDP revised up to 4.2% on news all those no benefits, part-time only jobs being created are working [Ironic]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Women steal two Rolexes worth over $16K from Vegas tourists, using sex to distract them while they hid the watches. One used her purse while the other just snatch'd it [Dumbass]
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The Onion » New Rec Room Has Everything A Teen Could Want, Reports Church Youth Pastor
FINDLAY, OH—Saying the space would offer a laid-back atmosphere and a variety of fun activities for young people, 31-year-old local youth pastor Marc Kindler told reporters Thursday the new rec room at Grace United Church of Christ has everything a … 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Panda accused of faking pregnancy, claims it was just auditioning for a TLC reality show [Weird]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 45 people in Utah learn the hard way why pasteurization is a thing [Dumbass]
[link] [188 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Schrödinger's Soprano [Followup]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The UN would like to outlaw any robots in the T, ED or HAL series [Asinine]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Human trials of the Ebola vaccine will start next week. Two weeks after the vaccine was used on American victims [Followup]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Exo Turns Crickets Into Protein Bars
"Our company exists solely for the purpose of making this normal. To make the idea of eating insects not be weird," Gabi Lewis says of Exo, the cricket-based protein bar company he co-founded with his college roommate, Greg Sewitz. "So today we have to disguise it and turn it into a protein bar, hide it somewhat. If we’re successful then … [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Unclothed
[Link]
The Onion » Horrified Subway Execs Assumed People Were Buying Footlongs To Share With A Friend
The sandwich chain says it is 'deeply sorry' if customers mistakenly believed that eating an entire foot of food could somehow be considered healthy. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Al Qaeda magazine hints at upcoming attack on the US, reveals the top 10 sexiest #2 men in the organization [Interesting]
[link] [94 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » My grandfather went to war, fought at Normandy and helped liberate Paris, and all I got was a box full of early photographs of Hitler. Wait. What? [Interesting]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » After extensive research, Cambridge University classifies dog as "very large cat" [Amusing]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Woops says FML
Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: "These are not Russian soldiers in Ukraine." New hotness: "This is what Russian soldiers like to do with their vacation time, fight in the Ukraine, and Moscow is not responsible for it" [Obvious]
[link] [146 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pabst mansion sells for $4.8 million, is described as tasteless and only ironically appreciated by hipsters [Followup]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 30 Family Secrets Hiding in English Surnames
It’s easy to guess what an ancestor of someone named Cook, Carpenter, or Smith did for a living. With other occupational surnames, though, either the word or the trade has become obsolete, so the meaning is hidden. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nine-year-old girl shot in back with arrow, removes it herself and suffers no serious injuries. Father, wearing horn-rimmed glasses, has no comment [Scary]
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: Bordering on Insanity
Don't worry, you won't need a passport (or a sporting event program) to solve the Think Thursday challenge for today's mentalfloss.com Brain Game, a throwback from about three years ago: The United States has direct borders with only two countries – Canada and Mexico – but those international borders are always hot topics of conversation. Can you imagine sharing a direct border … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "I studied engineering, not English. I still can't find a job." Maybe you just suck? [Fail]
[link] [380 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Smoking hot septuagenarian siren's youthful looks are a wonder to everyone except her plastic surgeons [Sappy]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man dressed as Batman spotted speeding down a Japanese freeway on a Batcycle – he's the hero Tokyo deserves [Hero]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're going to take part in the Ice Bucket Challenge make sure there are no cannabis plants in the background (especially if you're a politician) [Fail]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When it's raining chairs and beer bottles from a 16th floor balcony, it should surprise no one when the culprit turns out to be a naked man on a cocaine binge [Florida]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Federal lawsuit claims zoning codes are discriminatory if applied to religious groups. Subby plans to open faith-based oil refinery in upscale residential neighborhood [Interesting]
[link] [100 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Where Does Language Come From?
This story originally appeared in the September 2014 issue of mental_floss magazine. Subscribe to our print edition here, and our iPad edition here. This question is for the birds. No, really! In a paper recently published in Frontiers in Psychology, linguists at MIT and the University of Tokyo argue that ancient humans crafted language from two communication systems that already … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're going to dump a corpse in a driveway in a neighboring town, do not take a picture of yourself with it and post it on Facebook [Stupid]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Study Finds All-Consuming Self-Pity Best Way To Win Back Ex-Partner
CHICAGO—A study released Thursday by the University of Chicago’s Department of Psychology has found that debilitating self-pity is the most effective strategy to win back the love of a former romantic partner. 
[Link]
The Onion » Report: Female Interns Earn Only Three-Fourths Of College Credit That Male Counterparts Do
WASHINGTON—According to a study published Wednesday by the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, female interns earn just three-quarters of the college credit that male interns receive for the same work. 
[Link]
The Onion » American Voices: New ‘Smart Polo’ Detects Wearer’s Stress Levels
At the U.S. Open this week, Ralph Lauren debuted new wearable technology called the “Smart Polo” shirt, which uses sensors integrated in the fabric to detect the wearer’s stress levels, that needs to be recharged after 30 workouts. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Chinese woman gives birth to 14 pound baby. Doctors eagerly await to see who will walk first [Strange]
[link] [70 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Can Your Eyes Beat These Optical Illusions?
Optical illusions, despite their name, have nothing to do with your eyes. Your brain is responsible for interpreting what you see, and often makes short-cuts by processing familiar images automatically. These misinterpretations lead to the phenomenon commonly known as an optical illusion, or brain teaser. This video explores 3 common illusions and possible explanations for them. [Link]
Weird Universe » The Dog Exterminator
An advertisement in The Wheel and Cycling Trade Review, August 1893. This seems to be similar to the pepper spray that mailmen carry nowadays, but with a more colorful name. [via What the Apothecary Ordered]
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop theme: Famous zombies in history [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Our long national nightmare is over [Followup]
[link] [217 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Woman Swallowed by Escalator
Original article here. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Deja BOOM. Explosion at BP in Whiting, IN, on 59th anniversary of refinery explosion that killed two and burned for eight days [Scary]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's your child's first day of school and you have a decision to make: Do you want to send him off with a bowl of cheerios in his belly or do you want to make him the coolest pancake he has ever eaten? [Spiffy]
[link] [68 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » dr.mantistobagon says FML
Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Unclothed
[Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Tiny Cars
Gisela Giardino Before there were Smart Cars, there were Gaitans. * Hoverbikes might be closer to reality than you think. * Sometimes television guest-stars stick around and become part of the cast. * Pop-up shops are temporary retail stores that tend to sport some very cool designs. * Dog pageants remind me a lot of junior prom. * You could … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » NRA sends thoughts and prayers to family of shooting instructor accidentally killed by kid on Monday. Just kidding, they actually promoted an article with seven ways kids can have fun at a shooting range [Followup]
[link] [819 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » nayahbear24 says FML
Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said "Oops." and hung up. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Jon Stewart is back and wanted to talk about a little news item that many of us might have missed while he was on vacation; some unrest in a tiny hamlet called "Ferguson" [Followup]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Once for All
Asked to choose a single “master image” to sum up his work, Steven Spielberg chose this shot from Close Encounters, in which little Barry Guiler opens his living-room door to see the “beautiful but awful light” emanating from an alien spacecraft. “And he’s very small,” Spielberg said, “and it’s a very large door, and there’s a lot of promise or … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my brother thought jumping out and punching me in the stomach would cure my hiccups. Yeah. Didn't work. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sister of Dzhokhar and Tamerlan Tsarnaev arrested in New York for– wait for it– threatening to bomb someone [Obvious]
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML [Link]
FMyLife » leem says FML
Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 'In 45 years I have never seen anything like it. There must have been 5,000 wasps. It was a job to deal with it. I had to put all my protective gear on. At one stage there must have been 2,000 wasps buzzing around me.' [Scary]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Judges overturning gay marriage bans. New Hotness: Judges overturning polygamy bans [Interesting]
[link] [299 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 486: "These Hallowed Halls". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Couple, who have been married for 80 years, say the secret is to "forgive and forget." Though these days it is mostly "forget" [Cool]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientists 'flip' bad memories into good ones in mice, which is kind of the exact opposite of what happened when you rolled over this morning and saw who you brought home from the bar last night [Interesting]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Second tallest man in the world moves up to first [Sad]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » spark says FML
Today, after my windshield wipers being stolen twice in a row, I decided to hide in my car to catch the thief. I fell asleep. When I woke up, the new wipers were gone. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Grunting Helps Tennis Players Play Better
This story originally appeared in print in the August 2014 issue of mental_floss magazine. Subscribe to our print edition here, and our iPad edition here. by Joe Mejia Tennis greats Maria Sharapova and Serena Williams are often picked on for grunting on the court. In 2012, there was even talk of monitoring decibel levels and penalizing players for … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you are waiting on the delivery of a 70-ton turbine, it's gonna be a little late [Dumbass]
[link] [113 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bad boys bad boys whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they kill your camera crew? [Misc]
[link] [146 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these happy jumpers [Photoshop]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
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