Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Overheard In The Office » Oh-Nay Singular Sensation, Every Little Step She Takes
Annoying girl on phone: Great, so your user name is, “the power of oh-nay.” Oh. One. That's probably what that is.Poydras Center
New Orleans, LouisianaOverheard by: Rosemary [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Twenty-eight year old grad student falls for eighteen year old freshman coed with a boyfriend back home, so he waits. And waits. And waits. And waits some more. Then he finally gets to hook up with that hot little momma [Sappy]
[link] [94 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Charles Schwab Has Rather Lost Its Luster
Coworker on phone: You can't put all your eggs in one basket because your basket is like full.Manhattan, New York [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dad angry that Delta Airlines mistakenly gave his daughter to Jennifer Lopez [Fail]
[link] [96 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » fucked says FML
Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Alisterine says FML
Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Behold the miserable quality of life in the Hamptons where noisy helicopters ferrying people back and forth to NYC are ruining people's good time [Asinine]
[link] [91 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » abusedparrot says FML
Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » And so the newest ice age begins…in Scotland [Scary]
[link] [111 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Winnie the Pooh turns 100 today. Oh bother [Interesting]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » US hostage freed, in one piece [Followup]
[link] [86 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this soup tester [Photoshop]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pennsylvania may soon charge cyclists, snowmobilers, horse riders for trail use in their state. Surprisingly, some people are not happy with this [Interesting]
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Will new ads comparing pot smokers to lab rats prevent teens from getting high? Short answer: no. Long answer: um… What was the question again? And quit bogarting the bowl [Unlikely]
[link] [95 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Today in health news: electrocuting yourself in the brain may not be safe [Scary]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 Things We Learned from David Rees
Going Deep With David Rees wraps up its first season Monday night at 10pm on the National Geographic Channel. I sat down with him for a full interview, but made this handy list so you can enjoy the highlights. 1. He Has a Pooter In the How to Climb a Tree episode, Rees encountered his first pooter, and ultimately received … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nigerian article explaining Ebola stays sane for the first sentence, then spends seventeen paragraphs showing why it's a bad idea to surf Pravda's web site, listen to AM talk radio and read too much Dan Brown [Stupid]
[link] [93 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » CIA tried to assassinate Nixon twice, says Nixon aide [Fail]
[link] [107 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Geriatric quartet accused of cheating and scamming casino [Florida]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man is going to live on a melting iceberg for one year to illustrate the perils of climate change. It's a titanic challenge [Strange]
[link] [94 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wife reads about a notoriously stubborn MGM Grand slot machine online and tells her husband to play it, and becomes the best wife ever after they win the $2.4 million jackpot [Spiffy]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Stay classy San Die…aww, man just forget it [Sad]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Beep" "Beep" "Beep" "Beep Beep" "Beep" "BeepBeep BeepBeepBeep BeepBeep BeepBeep" [Cool]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » News of the Weird (August 24, 2014)
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M385, August 24, 2014
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
[ED. NOTE: Last Week in Weird will be published this week in only one Part, tomorrow. I blame the summer malaise. Probably only one Part next week, too.]
CORRECTION: Last week’s column cited a London Daily Mirror compilation of foods from around the world. … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Keep calm and buy ALL THE NUTELLA [Followup]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » So I Had Plenty Of Time to Hang Up
Receptionist on phone: I recognized her voice before she even said anything. Charlotte, North Carolina [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Then I Have Some Bad News about Those Envelopes You Just Licked
Paralegal to friendly lawyer: I’m sorry, I can’t shake your hand.Lawyer: What’s your problem? We just saved the firm hundreds of thousands of dollars.Paralegal: It has nothing to do with that… I’d help to bankrupt an orphanage if it came to it.Lawyer: Then why won’t you shake my hand?Paralegal: Sir, I was in the bathroom when you took a shit after … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » She Sticks Pins in Me and My Doll Gets Better
Employee: You're not going to a chiropractor, are you?Boss: No. She's a lesbian voodoo doctor. She's next to a bagel shop.Vancouver
Canadia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Anyone Else Just Get the Tremendous Urge to Watch Goonies?
Tubby manager: I need to lose some weight.Blunt manager: How about you quit eating like a twelve-year-old whose parents aren't home from work yet, chunk-style?Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, IndianaOverheard by: Shatmandu [Link]
Overheard In The Office » It Only Solves the Back End of the Problem
Engineer #1: Why on Earth do we have to use this?IT worker: We’re committed to using our own solution.Engineer #1: Yeah, I understand the dog food rationale.Engineer #2: The problem is that it’s not dog food. It’s kitty litter.401 Elliott Avenue West
Seattle, Washington [Link]
Overheard In The Office » That's the Other Thing– She Eats All My Shoes!
Employee: I married her because I was tired of coming home to an empty house.Boss: What? Get a dog, damn!Arkansas [Link]
Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Spiders Love Big Cities
Arachnophobes might want to consider moving to the suburbs. * Penguin Essentials released 10 gorgeously designed new book covers for classic novels. Judge away. * Ferguson, Missouri's schools are closed in the midst of crisis, but their library remains open, setting an inspiring example of a community that will find a way to educate its children, no matter what. * … [Link]
Mental Floss » Pooters, SkyMall, and Haterade – The David Rees Interview
Going Deep With David Rees wraps up its first season Monday night at 10pm. This show is my favorite thing of the year. That's right, my favorite thing, including food. I spoke with Rees to answer some burning questions; below is the full interview. You can also read my early review of Going Deep for more, or read our highlights … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Self-help guru who served prison time for the deaths of three people in an Arizona sweat lodge returns to Arizona to host several motivational seminars on how to deal with a personal crisis [Asinine]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Flight 370 Conspiracy Theories to the left. What's your favorite theory to the right [Interesting]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML [Link]
Weird Universe » Credit Card Painting
Artists like to come up with gimmicks to set themselves apart. Sandy Byers' gimmick is that she paints using credit cards as her paint brush. Full story at komonews.com.
[Link]
Overheard In The Office » A Poor Workman Blames His Tool
Cable guy: We're going in existing boxes and if their boxes are crooked then there's really nothing we can do about it.Galveston, TX [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this display of force [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Drs Casey & Kildare in Pillowcase Form
[Click to enlarge]
An early example of Dakimakura. I understand Richard Chamberlain still has a warehouse of these which he will sell upon request.
Original ad here (page 31). [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Dear Madam, we are writing to inform you that you are dead" [Amusing]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 12 words native speakers say can't be translated outside their native tongue. Subby says that's an inaccuracy represented by excrement from the male of the bovine species [Interesting]
[link] [162 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 2PM Managers’ Meeting
Manager: I’m sorry that was a dumb question, I just didn’t have enough to eat before lunch. 1005 17th Street
Denver, Colorado [Link]
FMyLife » Erased says FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to break up with me by giving me a giant eraser that said "For big mistakes" on it. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man and his daughter catch a blue lobster, a 1 in 2 million find that is just like "winning the lottery." A really crappy lottery involving finding rare insects [Silly]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman is shocked, SHOCKED that her 41-year-old would leave her and shack up with a 19-year-old girl they met at their hotel pool while on their 'dream' vacation [Obvious]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not news: 12-year-old boy opens lemonade stand. Fark: Irate neighbor demands that city shut it down. "Please help me regain my quiet home and neighborhood" [Florida]
[link] [115 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 6.0 earthquake just north of Vallejo CA, shook like hell all the way down in San Mateo. Stay safe folks [Scary]
[link] [275 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Dinosaurs Were Catholics, You Know
Office drone: Wow! My boss is angrier than a t-rex that just realized it can't masturbate!Nashville, Tennessee [Link]
Overheard In The Office » But Argentina Keeps Cockblocking
Extremely excited boss: I know! They're great! We're looking to penetrate Brazil!Atlanta, Georgia [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Youth program in Scotland trains unemployed young people to sell Scotch whisky. Because it's hard to sell whisky to Scotsmen [Unlikely]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Gang of ten who store drugs in toilets get their lives flushed when they are plunged into jail for over 100 years combined [Fail]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Egyptian cleric says men should be allowed to spy on women in the shower if they have 'pure intentions.' In other news, Ivory soap is 99 and 44/100% pure [Stupid]
[link] [125 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When remodeling, it's always a tough call between the 980,000 calorie chocolate toilet or the 210,000 calorie chocolate bidet [Amusing]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Cause for Alarm
Sherlock Holmes is walking through the valley of Reichenbach Fall. On a clifftop overhead, Moriarty has perched a boulder. When he pushes it, it will have a 90 percent chance of killing Holmes. Just as he is about to send it over the edge, Watson arrives at the clifftop. Watson can’t see Holmes, so he’s not able to push the … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientists, sons of biatches confirm that "hair of the dog" is absolutely the best hangover cure [PSA]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Kids invent ankle strap that repels sharks and stingrays [Florida]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Grandmother tackles man fleeing from police, is immediately offered tryout for Seahawks defense [Cool]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Real Value of $100 by Metro Area
How far does your money go in each area? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Your "We didn't Fark the world, it's always been farked" story of the day: The drunken monkey that smashed up a bar [Silly]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not news: Icelandic volcano erupts, disrupting flights. News: this time you can pronounce its name [Scary]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Kinda Krazy?
Suit: She really did look like the type of woman who would rub glue all over her face.Washington, DC [Link]
Overheard In The Office » For the Last Time, Dalmatians Are Supposed to Have Black Spots
Male worker to supervisor complaining about noise: Oh, I'm sorry. Are we interrupting the interesting conversation about your cancer dog?Norristown, Pennsylvania [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Checkers Is Much More Civilized
Analyst to lackey: I don't think it makes any sense to run around playing “battleship” with analysts' Outlook calendars.Cambridge, MassachusettsOverheard by: Rachael [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Well, Really, It Was More Of a Talent Show…
i was baby jesus in my high school play.San Francisco [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Sure!
Coworker on phone: By the way, do you know where I can buy some coyote pee?Warehouse
Illinois [Link]
Overheard In The Office » But He Is Dating Both Allen and Julia
Boss: I don’t know why he’s so moody.
Employee: I know! I think he’s bipolar.
Boss: No, I don’t think he even likes the cold. Imperial, Pennsylvania [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Dude, If It Doesn’t “Die” within Five Hours, You’re Supposed to Consult a Physician
Worker guy: Ya know, my wife and I have a parakeet that just will not die!Mayland Drive
Richmond, Virginia [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this collection room [Photoshop]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
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