John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Weird Universe » Westboro Baptist vs ISIS

Friday 22 August 23:57:39 UTC 2014

Adam Hills, the above TV host, offered Westboro Baptist members a free trip to Iraq to protest real Christian persecution. They accepted! I really hope this guy provides the air fare for those screwballs to actually go to Iraq. In fact I bet if Mr. Hills sets up a fund to send them that the donations would roll in nonstop. … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » How Funny That Is Depends on Your Role in the Legal System

Friday 22 August 23:44:10 UTC 2014

Receptionist: God, I love today.Supervisor: You know, I hate it when you get laid.Receptionist, blushing: Yeah, I know…General manager: You're just saying that because your wife won't put out.Supervisor: That's not really funny.General manager: Yeah, it is… If we were lucky, Tammy here would hire out, then everyone could get laid.Roswell, New MexicoOverheard by: Yikes! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 2.2 million bean bag chairs recalled over shocking .00009% fatality rate [Stupid]

Friday 22 August 23:28:33 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Delightful Science Experiments From 100 Years Ago

Friday 22 August 23:24:34 UTC 2014

In 1892, the dubiously named Mr. Tom Tit published a book of at-home activities for children called Magical Experiments: or, Science in Play. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » More and more restaurants are refusing to serve ketchup to adults. Which is just fine according to The National Hot Dog Council [Silly]

Friday 22 August 23:15:01 UTC 2014

Silly [link] [229 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ukrainian separatist leader, previously a science fiction author, claims he's living in his books. Which oddly makes sense, considering the fiction coming from both sides in the conflict [Interesting]

Friday 22 August 23:03:45 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 64 People and Their Famous Last Words

Friday 22 August 23:00:00 UTC 2014

"I'm going to the bathroom to read." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ISIS fighters fear nothing. Except possibly being killed in battle by a woman [Cool]

Friday 22 August 22:53:58 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » And Each Evening I Hose Down the Sidewalk

Friday 22 August 22:43:29 UTC 2014

Manager on phone: Yeah, I’ve got a little apartment on the gay side of the French quarter. Sometimes in the morning I have to beat them off to get out my doorway.4621 West Napoleon Avenue
Metairie, LouisianaOverheard by: PeauxBoy [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Using Famous Fonts

Friday 22 August 22:30:45 UTC 2014

Fake the Font Here’s where you can get some of the famous fonts you see every day. * What Did That Valet Do? And where did he go? And what sounds did he make in my car? The new Corvette will have a system designed to tell you all of that. * The Philosophy of Football Flag on the play. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » HONEY, I'm HOME [Scary]

Friday 22 August 22:23:12 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [48 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Friday 22 August 22:22:30 UTC 2014

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Judge orders package deliveryman to have his package measured [Strange]

Friday 22 August 22:19:42 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [34 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » oops says FML

Friday 22 August 22:05:49 UTC 2014

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » At only four inches long this little guy is Britain's smallest dog [Sappy]

Friday 22 August 22:02:41 UTC 2014

Sappy [link] [72 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Magazine: If We Can Find A Way To Photoshop The Right Half Of A Palestinian Boy’s Face With The Left Half Of An Israeli Child’s Face So That It Kind Of Looks Like One Face Why Can’t Israel and Palestine Find Peace?

Friday 22 August 21:54:00 UTC 2014

If We Can Find A Way To Photoshop The Right Half Of A Palestinian Boy’s Face With The Left Half Of An Israeli Child’s Face So That It Kind Of Looks Like One Face Why Can’t Israel and Palestine Find Peace?
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Even if I am going to hell, that doesn't mean the Earth is 6,000 years old" [Hero]

Friday 22 August 21:22:17 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [240 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Speedy Facts About Gallimimus

Friday 22 August 21:00:00 UTC 2014

Why do we love dinosaurs? Obviously, people have their own personal reasons, but Gallimimus may represent the key to understanding how these long-dead animals have become so overwhelmingly popular. Gallimimus—like many fossilized beasts—is a mesmerizing blend of the familiar and the alien. Read on to find out why. 1. It Belongs to a Large Group of Ostrich Copycats. Wikimedia Commons … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A Lightsaber: an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. Or a suspicious object on the side of the road that draws the bomb squad, either way [Stupid]

Friday 22 August 20:49:48 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A gallery of the cats who served in World War I [Spiffy]

Friday 22 August 20:34:21 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Texas Supreme Court says it is okay to lie to employees, as long as it is to cut their pay and steal their retirement after promising you won't [Asinine]

Friday 22 August 20:14:12 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [199 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Houston Fark Party, Thursday Sept 11th at 7:00pm at Cecil's Tavern [FarkParty]

Friday 22 August 20:08:18 UTC 2014

FarkParty [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 155 births at the National Zoo in the past year lead to ugly-ass overload [Sappy]

Friday 22 August 20:05:38 UTC 2014

Sappy [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this pretty portal pair [Photoshop]

Friday 22 August 20:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If Westboro Baptist wants to protest something, they should go to Iraq and protest ISIS. What's that? they are? Oh, carry on then [Amusing]

Friday 22 August 19:38:39 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [128 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember that guy who raised more than $50,000 with a Kickstarter for potato salad? He's using the proceeds to throw a concert to benefit Columbus-area homeless. "Tickets are free; no need for scallopers" [Followup]

Friday 22 August 19:37:16 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [42 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Report: 79% Of Minority Suspects Receive Miranda Rights While Unconscious

Friday 22 August 19:35:00 UTC 2014

WASHINGTON—Shedding light on law enforcement practices across the country, a Department of Justice study released Friday revealed that more than three-fourths of minority suspects in police custody receive their Miranda rights while unconscious.
[Link]

The Onion » Illinois Department Of Corrections Unveils New Open-Plan Prison

Friday 22 August 19:30:00 UTC 2014

CHESTER, IL—Touting the layout’s benefits in promoting communication and a more productive penal environment, the Illinois Department of Corrections unveiled its new open-plan prison Friday at the Menard Correctional Center. Menard officials t…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » California restaurants now free to serve dogs [Strange]

Friday 22 August 19:22:37 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [88 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Report: Average American Worker Replaced Within 10 Minutes Of Taking Vacation

Friday 22 August 19:03:00 UTC 2014

WASHINGTON—Confirming widely held suspicions about the risks of taking time off from a job, a report released Friday by the Department of Labor found that the average American worker is replaced within 10 minutes of beginning a vacation.
[Link]

Mental Floss » George Washington’s Favorite Parasite

Friday 22 August 18:52:14 UTC 2014

If you shuck and eat a lot of oysters, you might eventually come across a tiny crab hanging out inside one. It could be a pea crab. It could be an oyster crab. Either way, it’s a parasite that lives off of little bits of food that its oyster host filters into its shell. I’ve found a few of these … [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Bill Murray to Attend Bill Murray Day

Friday 22 August 18:52:08 UTC 2014

The Toronto Film Festival is hosting a Bill Murray Day this year and yes, Bill Murray himself will be in attendance. * The headlines at the Onion usually get all the attention, but what about the accompanying artwork? It's not easy to create something that looks like a terrible stock image. * Do you call your significant other "sweetie"? How … [Link]

Futility Closet » Half and Half

Friday 22 August 18:50:12 UTC 2014

A bisecting arc is one that bisects the area of a given region. “What is the shortest bisecting arc of a circle?” Murray Klamkin asked D.J. Newman. Newman supposed that it was a diameter. “What is the shortest bisecting arc of a square?” Newman answered that it was an altitude through the center. Finally Klamkin asked, “And what is the … [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Survey: Rich People More Likely To Disapprove Of ‘Participation Trophies’

Friday 22 August 18:30:00 UTC 2014

According to data gathered by libertarian magazine Reason, wealthy people are much more likely than poorer people to disapprove of “participation trophies” for kids, or awards given out to all children regardless of whether they are …
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » And lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and Farkers wailed, for they could not get a perfect score on the Fark Weird News Quiz [Survey]

Friday 22 August 18:24:10 UTC 2014

Survey [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 100% Fark no [Asinine]

Friday 22 August 18:08:15 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [231 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Bored Kim Jong-Un Stacks Entire North Korean Populace Into Human Pyramid To Kill Time

Friday 22 August 18:06:40 UTC 2014

PYONGYANG—In an effort to relieve his boredom and fill an otherwise uneventful afternoon, North Korean leader Kim Jong-un stacked all 24 million of his country’s inhabitants into a human pyramid Friday to help him pass the time.
[Link]

FMyLife » Beeky says FML

Friday 22 August 18:06:40 UTC 2014

Today, I was excited to receive a rejection letter, because this was the first company to even acknowledge that I sent them a resume. FML [Link]

FMyLife » haileelouxxx says FML

Friday 22 August 18:06:39 UTC 2014

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML [Link]

FMyLife » lolatmylife says FML

Friday 22 August 18:06:38 UTC 2014

Today, my boyfriend sent me pictures of him and his family on their trip in Florida. He accidentally included a picture of a random girl sleeping in his bed, naked. FML [Link]

FMyLife » up to no-good… says FML

Friday 22 August 18:06:37 UTC 2014

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: Satanists avoid lawsuit by handing over Catholic holy relic they planned to use in a Black Mass. Fark: It was one of those styrofoam communion wafers [Asinine]

Friday 22 August 18:01:37 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [185 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Tooth Fairy Traditions From Around the World

Friday 22 August 17:30:00 UTC 2014

Friday was National Tooth Fairy Day, and while plenty of Americans surely celebrated the day by employing the fairy (or fairies) and her generous cash giving, the rest of the world has their own tooth-centric traditions in place to honor anyone or anything responsible for whisking their teeth away. Think that placing your tooth under a pillow and waiting for … [Link]

The Onion » Pure-Hearted Little League World Series Players Playing Simply For Love Of ESPN’s Bottom Line

Friday 22 August 17:25:00 UTC 2014

SOUTH WILLIAMSPORT, PA—Praising the young athletes for their unbridled enthusiasm, Little League World Series viewers from across the country marveled Friday at how refreshing it is to see players competing purely for their love of ESPN’s bott…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Throughout the late 1960s, the justices of the Supreme Court spent at least one day each year in the basement watching porn together. By all accounts, it was fantastically awkward" [Obvious]

Friday 22 August 16:35:41 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [137 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » When I’m Perfectly Willing to Do It for Free

Friday 22 August 16:12:37 UTC 2014

Director of operations: I could get paid a lot of money to put a dildo in my ass, and then I’d be walking around with a dildo in my ass, but that would be lame too. Elkton Road
Newark, Delaware [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Tomorrow We'll Work on Buttons

Friday 22 August 16:12:36 UTC 2014

Boss to new sales rep: And here is your laptop with the carrying case. The computer just goes in the bag like this and then you use the Velcro straps to strap it in. You're familiar with Velcro, right? You just push the two sides together and… (proceeds to demonstrate)Norcross, Georgia [Link]

Overheard In The Office » No Need to Get All Prickly About It

Friday 22 August 16:12:35 UTC 2014

Male coworker to Helen: I shaved, Helen.Helen: I thought we were going to keep that a secret.Houston, Texas [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Stop Contrimanding Everything I Say

Friday 22 August 16:12:34 UTC 2014

Manager: B.O.T.A. It's an anagram. Do you know what it stands for? “Bend over and take it up the ass.”Employee: That's an acronym, not an anagram.Manager: What? I didn't say acronym.Oneonta, New York [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Mr. Hefner Has Successfully Used the Adoption Ploy for Over 50 Years

Friday 22 August 16:12:29 UTC 2014

Man: I talked to John. He said he and Michelle got divorced less than a year after they were married. I really didn’t like her anyway. She was really bullheaded.Woman: Oh. That’s too bad.Man: Yeah, they just got divorced, but he’s doing well. He just adopted a seventeen-year-old girl. It’s helping to distract him.Woman: Huh?University of Oregon
Eugene, OregonOverheard by: Reed … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » … He Brings a Different Wife to Every Office Party

Friday 22 August 16:12:28 UTC 2014

Boss: I’m not saying he’s a polygamist, but…29th Street
Santa Monica, CaliforniaOverheard by: mfk [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Psychologist explains why everyone is terrified of things like viral outbreaks, contagions, Ebola, and shutting down everything in response [Scary]

Friday 22 August 16:09:57 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [67 comments] [Link]

The Onion » God Knocked Unconscious By DirectTV Satellite

Friday 22 August 16:00:00 UTC 2014

THE HEAVENS—Noting that He was a little shaken but would be all right, sources confirmed Friday that the Lord God Almighty, Our Heavenly Father, was struck by a DirecTV satellite approximately 22,000 miles above earth, rendering Him unconscious for …
[Link]

The Onion » Statshot: What Are We Storing At Our Parents' House?

Friday 22 August 15:50:00 UTC 2014

What Are We Storing At Our Parents' House?
[Link]

Overheard In The Office » The Part Of Canadia's Healthcare They Don't Want Us to See

Friday 22 August 15:47:12 UTC 2014

Agitated man on phone: Put him in the truck, put him in the truck! Just put him in the truck and drive somewhere!Toronto
Canadia [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rapper Talib Kweli flips his shiat, while talkin' 'bout hits, taken to Brown's melon, biatchin' out Don Lemon. It started out calm enough, 'til Don started bein' all gruff, bout how CNN is great, which we all know it ain't

Friday 22 August 15:41:42 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [123 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Starbucks Bringing Coffee Trucks To College Campuses

Friday 22 August 15:40:00 UTC 2014

Starbucks is reportedly introducing coffee trucks to colleges around the country that can move around to highly trafficked areas of campus throughout the day to attract students.
[Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Keep to the Road

Friday 22 August 15:38:57 UTC 2014

Travel with us to today's open-ended mentalfloss.com Brain Game Free-for-All Friday challenge. Enjoy: Give ONE example of a well-known ROAD (real or fictional). EXAMPLES: ABBEY ROAD, TOBACCO ROAD, ROCKY ROAD Please add your single entry to our
comment list below,
and have a great weekend! [Link]

Mental Floss » Warning Labels That Everyone Ignores

Friday 22 August 15:38:53 UTC 2014

On Fridays, we ask a series of unrelated questions. Your answers help get us through the afternoon. Answer one, answer all, or ask your own question. On to this week's topics… [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Do We Have Eyebrows?

Friday 22 August 15:30:44 UTC 2014

Eyebrows are the Swiss Army Knife of the human body—they do everything! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is there such a thing as a 'good psychopath'? [Scary]

Friday 22 August 15:01:39 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [278 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Residents of one neighborhood are perplexed at the sudden increase in coyote sightings and the disappearance of their pets and believe the two events could be "more than a coincidence" [Florida]

Friday 22 August 14:53:40 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Having stress in your life is actually good for you, according to an article written by your boss [Unlikely]

Friday 22 August 14:45:14 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » …So We Can Argue About It Online?

Friday 22 August 14:43:18 UTC 2014

Angry customer, ending long rant: Why do I have to sign a form? Why can't I close it over the phone? I didn't have to sign a form to open the account.CSR: Yes, you did.(pause)Angry customer: Will you e-mail it to me?Boston, Massachusetts [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NPR explores what its coverage of the British burning Washington 200 years ago might have sounded like. Subby's guessing it starts with an exploration of how American aggression caused the carnage and finished with six hours of British recipes [I

Friday 22 August 14:28:58 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [115 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man trolls coworker by continually stealing his sandwich [Silly]

Friday 22 August 14:15:05 UTC 2014

Silly [link] [224 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't you just hate it when you're out scuba diving, trying to set up a cool selfie shot and some blowhard photobombs you? [Amusing]

Friday 22 August 14:01:06 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Ernö Rubik Created the Rubik's Cube

Friday 22 August 14:00:38 UTC 2014

The Rubik's Cube's 40-year history is full of twists—quintillions and quintillions of them. [Link]

FMyLife » ReluctantAntEater says FML

Friday 22 August 13:54:30 UTC 2014

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Certainly, Sir — Are You Considering Suicide or Simply Alcoholic?

Friday 22 August 13:39:22 UTC 2014

Man at music counter: Do you happen to have ‘The Wreck of the F. Scott Fitzgerald’?Indianapolis, IndianaOverheard by: Bearphan [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The landlord can be a real pain in your ass. And occasionally your scrotum [Scary]

Friday 22 August 13:08:00 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these swimmers in synch [Photoshop]

Friday 22 August 13:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Home heating with beer cans

Friday 22 August 12:42:54 UTC 2014

Back in the late 1970s, Bill Tolle of Woodlawn, Ohio figured out a way to use empty beer cans to heat his home in the winter. Basically he made a solar heater, with the empty cans trapping the sun's heat. But the beer can angle perked the media's interest.


Picture from People magazine, May 3, 1982


The Bryan Times – … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I See We Have Much to Teach One Another

Friday 22 August 12:32:17 UTC 2014

Guy: Have you seen To Catch a Predator?Girl: I've read To Kill a Mockingbird.Savelli's
Knoxville, Tennessee [Link]

Fark.com RSS » County Clerk: Let's just go ahead and release you early. Convict: Gee, thanks. I started a family, finished parole, started a new li- Courts: Not so fast motherfarker [Strange]

Friday 22 August 12:11:10 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [138 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » From today's 'Only in Alaska' files: Store evacuated after forklift driver accidentally punctures a can of bear spray [Amusing]

Friday 22 August 12:06:12 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Death by Ejection Seat

Friday 22 August 12:02:55 UTC 2014

You know how in cartoons and comedy movies, a person will accidentally employ an ejection seat and go for a thrill ride through the air, only to land safely…?

Not what really happens.

Original article here. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Batman Window Cameos

Friday 22 August 11:14:07 UTC 2014

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » One in every 200 billionaires in the world is born in Chicago. Apparently the odds of becoming extremely wealthy increase exponentially the closer you can get to Oprah [Interesting]

Friday 22 August 11:10:53 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Batman Window Cameos

Friday 22 August 11:09:49 UTC 2014

[Link]

FMyLife » flyakite says FML

Friday 22 August 10:23:56 UTC 2014

Today, my boss decided our 4 year relationship was unethical, so she broke up with me, then terminated my employment. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ice Bucket Challenge claims its first victims. Shocking [Sad]

Friday 22 August 9:27:00 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [163 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » In a Word

Friday 22 August 6:06:20 UTC 2014

advesperate
v. to grow dark, to become night [Link]

Fark.com RSS » McDonald's is testing McMozzarella sticks with McMarinara sauce that will taste McDisgusting and leave you McRegretting your McDecision to ever eat them [Sick]

Friday 22 August 5:35:00 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [201 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two percent of British people think Hawaii is part of the UK, don't know the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor [Sad]

Friday 22 August 4:03:00 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [168 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Friday 22 August 3:54:53 UTC 2014

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 6 Times Creepy Crawlies Ended Up in People's Ears

Friday 22 August 3:00:21 UTC 2014

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov Earlier this week, I poked my ear canal with a Q-tip. (It says on the package you’re not supposed to use them to clean your ears; turns out, you should listen to that!) Inspired by my idiocy, I started to research the ear canal and the ear drum. Which led me to discovering some creepy crawlies that have actually … [Link]

FMyLife » jalisc512 says FML

Friday 22 August 2:46:02 UTC 2014

Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Enough to Make a Raft and Sail to New Zealand

Friday 22 August 2:34:00 UTC 2014

Worker bee: I’ve got a carton of condoms. Do you think that will be enough?Perth
AustraliaOverheard by: Rachelle [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Those Team-Building Exercises Are Really Paying Off

Friday 22 August 2:33:59 UTC 2014

Editor-in-chief to opinion editor: Liberal and short. If I had to describe you in two words, that’d be it. Well, only if I couldn’t use the word ‘bitch.’Newsroom, Oklahoma State University-Stillwater
Stillwater, OklahomaOverheard by: The Opinionator [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 11AM Department Meeting

Friday 22 August 2:33:58 UTC 2014

Marketing muckety-muck: …I mean, you can put all the jewels that you want to on that girl, but if she doesn’t have the surgery, it’s not going to do any good. 163 Freelon Street
San Francisco, California Overheard by: Eve S. Dropper [Link]

Overheard In The Office » We Also Would Have Accepted “Stop, Hey, What's That Sound?”

Friday 22 August 2:33:57 UTC 2014

Data analyst, yelling: Listen… Listen! (pause, then whispering) Ice, ice baby…Chicago, IllinoisOverheard by: data monkey [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 5PM That’s a Wrap

Friday 22 August 2:33:56 UTC 2014

Office worker: I haven’t heard from him since the last time we talked. 4526 11th Ave NE
Seattle, Washington Overheard by: James eDropper [Link]

Overheard In The Office » She’s Just Trying to Avoid Tipping

Friday 22 August 2:33:53 UTC 2014

Waitress: Can I help you, ma’am?Middle-aged woman: You shouldn’t call women ‘ma’am.’Waitress: Oh… Why not?Middle-aged woman: Because ‘ma’am’ is short for ‘madame,’ which is a name for a woman who owns a brothel. Do you know what a brothel is?Waitress: Ah, yes.Middle-aged: Good. Besides, for young women you should call them ‘miss.’Waitress: Okay, can I help you, miss? Middle-aged woman: Don’t … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Thank God for Instant Replay

Friday 22 August 2:33:52 UTC 2014

Coworker: I can’t remember if he used two fingers or three…Metcalf Avenue
Overland Park, Kansas [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida man rescued from vending machine. No matter how easy it looks, you can't get past the trap door [Florida]

Friday 22 August 2:27:55 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Newspapers are still going strong. That's the joke [Unlikely]

Friday 22 August 2:15:27 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [69 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » stepshart says FML

Friday 22 August 2:00:30 UTC 2014

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Coroner tells police the open beers they found in his car were, "from a death scene yesterday" [Amusing]

Friday 22 August 1:45:35 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man beaten to a pulp with oranges [Strange]

Friday 22 August 1:42:02 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Is 'Colonel' Spelled That Way?

Friday 22 August 1:36:38 UTC 2014

English spelling is bizarre. [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Should I Start Referring to Yeast Infections As “Infiltration of the Defensive Line”?

Friday 22 August 1:35:13 UTC 2014

Female coworker #1: I’m sure *Mark hates being the only guy on these smoke breaks; especially when we start talking about our vagina issues.Female coworker #2: That’s how I feel when y’all talk about football. Football is my vagina.Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, NevadaOverheard by: Sex Writer Goddess [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man eats Taco Bell's entire new dollar menu in one sitting. And lives [Amusing]

Friday 22 August 1:18:28 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [147 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Restaurant goes all Medieval on your stomach [Cool]

Friday 22 August 0:46:39 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Anybody Else Disappointed

Friday 22 August 0:33:05 UTC 2014

Cto, on the subject of 'things the internet is not': "…not grey… doesn't have a trunk… not easily confused with mice… not made of peanut butter…"Cambridge, MAOverheard by: Walrus [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The origin of the Five Day Workweek [Hero]

Friday 22 August 0:30:07 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » (Almost) All Bacon Bar Coming To Montreal

Friday 22 August 0:30:00 UTC 2014

"It's not just bacon for the fun of bacon." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this high diver [Photoshop]

Friday 22 August 0:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Archive

29 Mar 2024  28 Mar 2024  27 Mar 2024  26 Mar 2024  25 Mar 2024  24 Mar 2024  23 Mar 2024  22 Mar 2024  21 Mar 2024  20 Mar 2024  19 Mar 2024  18 Mar 2024  17 Mar 2024  16 Mar 2024  15 Mar 2024  14 Mar 2024  13 Mar 2024  12 Mar 2024  11 Mar 2024  10 Mar 2024  09 Mar 2024  08 Mar 2024  07 Mar 2024  06 Mar 2024  05 Mar 2024  04 Mar 2024  03 Mar 2024  02 Mar 2024  01 Mar 2024  29 Feb 2024  28 Feb 2024  27 Feb 2024  

No Comments

0 responses so far ↓

  • There are no comments yet...Kick things off by filling out the form below.

You must log in to post a comment.