John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » The reports of Darren Wilson's injuries have been greatly exaggerated [Obvious]

Thursday 21 August 23:41:58 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [496 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » *NEWS FLASH* RCMP make massive weapons bust, 18 arrested (with hilarious pic of what a Canadian weapons bust looks like) [Hero]

Thursday 21 August 23:21:50 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [202 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fried chicken Oreos may have been a hoax but these… these are REAL OM NOM [Cool]

Thursday 21 August 23:14:45 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [38 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 21 August 23:08:14 UTC 2014

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML [Link]

FMyLife » royallymessedup says FML

Thursday 21 August 23:08:13 UTC 2014

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What is going to kill you this week? Ramen noodles, of course [Unlikely]

Thursday 21 August 22:59:43 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Leaving your 3 young kids in a car for 4 hours while you drink beer and then try drive home with them after getting sloshed? Even your fellow drunken reprobates are gonna draw the line there and give you a beatdown [Florida]

Thursday 21 August 22:33:40 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What is the Deal with the Word “Colonel”?

Thursday 21 August 22:30:00 UTC 2014

English spelling is bizarre. We know that. From the moment we learn about silent “e” in school, our innocent expectations that sound and spelling should neatly match up begin to fade away, and soon we accept that “eight” rhymes with “ate,” “of” rhymes with “love,” and “to” rhymes with “too” rhymes with “two.” If we do sometimes briefly pause to … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teens are having less sex than ever before as teen pregnancy hits an all time low. That's their story and they're sticking to it [Cool]

Thursday 21 August 22:17:36 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thieves steal 250 catalytic converters from U-Haul site, officials promise exhaustive investigation [Sad]

Thursday 21 August 21:51:24 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Catholic diocese urges people not to take the ice bucket challenge because the proceeds could go to stem cell research. Apparently, the ritual pouring of water over people's heads is only okay if the Church gets its cut [Asinine]

Thursday 21 August 21:10:07 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [260 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pastor claims prayer brought a man back to life during his church service, while conveniently failing to mention it had been his sermon that had bored the man to death in the first place [Unlikely]

Thursday 21 August 21:07:49 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 30 Unusual Scholarships

Thursday 21 August 21:01:54 UTC 2014

If you have the right characteristic, last name, or niche interest, you could cash in. [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: The Dark Past of Dr. Seuss

Thursday 21 August 21:00:40 UTC 2014

Before Horton Dr. Seuss created some fantastic, all-time great works of art. These World War II anti-Japanese cartoons are not among them. * Do We Need This? This guy is inventing a sequel to chess. * How They Draw It Up Here’s how an animated show goes from an idea to the screen. * Accidental KIller These people were all … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: It's the Fark Food Thread 2nd anniversary. Come share highlights from past threads and what's inspired you in the food threads here on Fark. And don't forget the cake 'n candles [Spiffy]

Thursday 21 August 21:00:18 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A man, a plan, a canal: weevils [Strange]

Thursday 21 August 20:43:42 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lindsay Lohan takes the ice bucket challenge. Except she did it in the middle of a nightclub. Using champagne buckets. And nobody was watching or recording [Dumbass]

Thursday 21 August 20:41:26 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [99 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Night Out Thrown Off-Balance By Friend Unexpectedly Bringing Someone

Thursday 21 August 20:35:00 UTC 2014

ST. PAUL, MN—Local resident Nathan Erdlich’s night out was reportedly thrown completely off-balance Wednesday when his friend unexpectedly brought someone to join them for drinks, sources confirmed.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Winnipeg has a magical 60-foot snow hill that won't melt [Interesting]

Thursday 21 August 20:26:31 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [58 comments] [Link]

The Onion »  U.S. Forest Service Kills Off Smokey Bear To Get People Serious About Fire Safety

Thursday 21 August 20:04:59 UTC 2014

Hoping to reinforce their fire safety message, the U.S. Forest Service debuted a brand new ad campaign featuring the horrific, preventable death of their beloved mascot Smokey.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these wannabes strutting their stuff [Photoshop]

Thursday 21 August 20:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Campus Tour Guide Reminds Students At Each Stop They Have To Get In First

Thursday 21 August 20:00:00 UTC 2014

MEDFORD, MA—Leading a group of nearly two dozen high school juniors and seniors to various points of interest around campus, Tufts University tour guide Michelle Davis reportedly took time while describing every location Thursday to remind tour memb…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » New research suggests there will be no cure for cancer. EVER [Interesting]

Thursday 21 August 19:59:31 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [127 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Browns Impressed By Johnny Manziel’s Chemistry With Bench

Thursday 21 August 19:50:00 UTC 2014

CLEVELAND—Noting that it normally takes several seasons before a tandem develops such a solid connection, Cleveland Browns head coach Mike Pettine told reporters Thursday that he has been extremely impressed by rookie quarterback Johnny Manziel…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » 378 people over-pay it forward at Starbucks [Florida]

Thursday 21 August 19:41:12 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [107 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Justin Bieber Criticized For Cheating On ‘Ice Bucket Challenge’

Thursday 21 August 19:40:00 UTC 2014

Justin Bieber has been criticized for cheating on his version of the now-viral “Ice Bucket Challenge,” in which he poured a small saucepan of water on himself that didn’t actually contain any ice.
[Link]

The Onion » Washed-Up Toddler Can’t Point Out Things Like He Used To

Thursday 21 August 19:30:00 UTC 2014

TOLEDO, OH—Acknowledging that his best years were most likely behind him, local 2-year-old Spencer Boyd admitted to reporters Thursday that he can’t quite point out things like he used to in his prime.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We can make him better than he was. Better . . . stronger . . . faster. He'll still probably get distracted by light bulbs, but hey" [Interesting]

Thursday 21 August 19:17:58 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida man busted at Walmart for shooting upskirts with his iShoe [Dumbass]

Thursday 21 August 19:00:55 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Al-Jazeera asks why the Gaza truce failed. Short answer: Everyone's an asshole [Obvious]

Thursday 21 August 18:53:28 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [131 comments] [Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » Why haven't you had kids yet?

Thursday 21 August 18:52:14 UTC 2014

Why haven't you had kids yet?View [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Think you got a good deal on those jorts at TJMaxx? Well guess again, also your jorts just disintegrated and we can see your butt [Obvious]

Thursday 21 August 18:49:08 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Proizvolov’s Identity

Thursday 21 August 18:46:13 UTC 2014

List the first 2N positive integers (here let N = 4): 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 Divide them arbitrarily into two groups of N numbers: 1, 4, 6, 7 2, 3, 5, 8 Arrange one group in ascending order, the other in descending order: 1, 4, 6, 7 8, 5, 3, 2 Now the sum of the … [Link]

The Onion » Salt Lake City Hoping To Boost Tourism By Reminding Visitors They’re Free To Leave At Any Time

Thursday 21 August 18:30:00 UTC 2014

SALT LAKE CITY—In a move designed to help the metropolitan area attract more tourists, Salt Lake City officials unveiled a new advertising campaign Thursday reminding potential visitors that they can leave at any time.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you loved last winter, you're really in for a treat. Also: If you loved last winter, you're insane [Scary]

Thursday 21 August 18:20:46 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [195 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A good mother helps her daughter lose weight before a beauty pageant. Not typically by feeding her tapeworms, but it's the thought that counts, right? (Not safe for work image in sidebar) [Sick]

Thursday 21 August 18:16:51 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy with .30 BAC, let me introduce you to guy with suspended license making an illegal turn [Dumbass]

Thursday 21 August 18:11:42 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know how you left your coffee on the car roof that one time? Just imagine it was a bag with $21,000 in it [Fail]

Thursday 21 August 18:10:45 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Undercover Art: 6 Paintings That Were Hiding Something

Thursday 21 August 18:05:47 UTC 2014

Just underneath the surface of many paintings, both famous and obscure, is another hidden painting that could have been. [Link]

Mental Floss » The First Commercial Jet to Break the Sound Barrier Was Not the Concorde

Thursday 21 August 18:05:46 UTC 2014

On this date in 1961, a jet designed for commercial use became the first civilian craft to go supersonic. It wasn't the famous Concorde, which wouldn't break the sound barrier until an October '69 test flight, or the Soviet-built Tupolev Tu-144, but rather a humble DC-8—no. N9604Z, to be specific. It was all part of an August 21, 1961 test … [Link]

Mental Floss » How Wildlife Photographers Use "Spy Creatures"

Thursday 21 August 18:05:45 UTC 2014

In this short film, wildlife director John Downer explains how wildlife filmmaking has changed in recent years with the advent of miniature cameras. The craziest part starts around 3:30, when he begins a discussion of animatronic camera-bots, which are basically cameras in remotely operated pseudo-animal bodies. Downer calls them "spy creatures." There's a Spy Tuna, a Spy Turtle, a Spy … [Link]

The Onion » Symphony Orchestra Simply Cannot Wait For Collaboration With John Mellencamp

Thursday 21 August 17:50:00 UTC 2014

PHILADELPHIA—Saying the live performance will be a dream come true following decades of music study, members of the Philadelphia Orchestra announced Wednesday that they simply cannot wait for their upcoming collaboration with John Mellencamp.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » $230 per year per person for an advertising-free internet? SOLD [Interesting]

Thursday 21 August 17:48:13 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Suicide tourism to Switzerland soars. Looks like people are taking the whole "death by chocolate" thing a bit too seriously [Interesting]

Thursday 21 August 17:34:26 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Officer, can you help me? My mommy is cooking something smelly in the trunk of her car" [Florida]

Thursday 21 August 17:30:34 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 9 Hidden Mario Cameos and References in Video Games

Thursday 21 August 17:30:00 UTC 2014

Mario is perhaps the most iconic video game character in history. The undersized plumber has starred in dozens upon dozens of Nintendo games since his introduction in the original Donkey Kong in 1981, but Mario has also appeared in brief and hidden cameos throughout games for various platforms over the years. Here are 9 of them. 1. Pinball Although Mario … [Link]

Mental Floss » Quiz: Guest Stars on The Simpsons

Thursday 21 August 17:29:25 UTC 2014

A slew of guest stars have lent their voices to The Simpsons. Although many guests simply play themselves, the most memorable one-off characters often have a guest voice behind them. How well do you know who voiced these gems? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hallmark moment: Mormon bookstore staff removes gay wedding cards from shelves [Asinine]

Thursday 21 August 17:14:22 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [143 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 21 August 16:55:19 UTC 2014

Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML [Link]

FMyLife » secretninja64 says FML

Thursday 21 August 16:55:18 UTC 2014

Today, I got fired after three days at my new job. They told me it was because of downsizing. They were still interviewing people and had a help wanted sign in the window. FML [Link]

FMyLife » close shave says FML

Thursday 21 August 16:55:17 UTC 2014

Today, I was shaving with a waterproof battery operated shaver only to get tasered by it. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This man is accused of stealing $20,000 worth of aluminum tent poles, and is that a bad throat tattoo or part of his beard in his mugshot? [Dumbass]

Thursday 21 August 16:52:31 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [70 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Rubble Courts At Tennis’s Syrian Open Present Unique Challenge For Players

Thursday 21 August 16:50:00 UTC 2014

GHOUTA, SYRIA—With its uneven, debris-strewn playing surface causing balls to bounce severely and unpredictably, players at this year’s highly anticipated Syrian Open admitted Thursday that the tournament is a serious test for anyone unaccusto…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Developers allow New Yorkers to control two skyscrapers' skyline appearance with a mobile app. This should be good [Obvious]

Thursday 21 August 16:40:35 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [35 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Infographic: How Companies Are Appealing To Millennials

Thursday 21 August 16:00:00 UTC 2014

With millennials overtaking baby boomers as the biggest generation of consumers ever, companies around the nation are introducing new products, creating social media accounts, and pursuing philanthropic causes to appeal to this tech-savvy, socially con
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists have discovered the earliest form of French people. I bet they were surrender monkeys [Interesting]

Thursday 21 August 15:54:06 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [173 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Those imported bananas from Romania might not be as organic as they're advertised [Obvious]

Thursday 21 August 15:53:05 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you've been painting Bulgarian monuments to Soviet troops to look like Superman and The Joker, please be advised that Russia is very concerned. You can stop laughing now, comrades [Amusing]

Thursday 21 August 15:17:50 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [124 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Really, Really Bad Rebus #27

Thursday 21 August 15:01:21 UTC 2014

Good luck with today's mentalfloss.com Brain Game Think Thursday "Throwback" challenge, a Really, Really Bad Rebus we first offered in 2011: Here is the ANSWER. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: In the "System"

Thursday 21 August 15:01:20 UTC 2014

[Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Invisible Like An Octopus

Thursday 21 August 15:01:19 UTC 2014

Scientists are getting closer to creating an invisibility cloak, and they're doing so by basing their technology on the natural ability of octopuses. * Grantland is celebrating Saturday Night Live all week. Check out these testimonials from past SNL cast members. * During 121 years of publication, Vogue has always been the arbitrator of what is, well, in vogue. Check … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why circus camels and babies do not go well together [Scary]

Thursday 21 August 14:59:57 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Now the gov't wants your car to text with other cars… this should end well. Subby can't wait to hack it [Dumbass]

Thursday 21 August 14:41:42 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [142 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » U.S. ebola patient Brantly will soon be released from hospital in Atlanta, begin his search for CARRRL [Followup]

Thursday 21 August 14:36:11 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [97 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Study: Children’s Drawings Predict Intelligence Later In Life

Thursday 21 August 14:30:00 UTC 2014

A new study has found that young children who draw pictures of people accurately, judged by whether the drawing includes the correct number of limbs and facial features, are more likely to have higher IQs as adolescents.
[Link]

The Onion »  U.S. Forest Service Kills Off Smokey Bear To Get People Serious About Fire Safety

Thursday 21 August 14:25:00 UTC 2014

qHoping to reinforce their fire safety message, the U.S. Forest Service debuted a brand new ad campaign featuring the horrific, preventable death of their beloved mascot Smokey.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man drops $80k on 10,000 cans of beer and builds dancefloor fort [Amusing]

Thursday 21 August 14:18:51 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Anybody who has ever enjoyed a robust goblet of wine better give thanks to the humble fruit fly [Interesting]

Thursday 21 August 14:15:08 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Tell Me How You Know That

Thursday 21 August 13:16:39 UTC 2014

Older receptionist: I can’t believe they’re making such a big fuss over Tom Brady’s baby. I mean, you know he’s going to be a great dad. He’ll pay for everything. That kid is going to be very well-endowed.Secretary: Uh… Right…200 Clarendon Street
Boston, MassachusettsOverheard by: secretariat [Link]

Overheard In The Office » It’s in Our Strategic Plan

Thursday 21 August 13:16:38 UTC 2014

Manager in meeting: We’ll hit that bridge when we come to it.London
England [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Well, If Hillary Clinton Can Be Jewish…

Thursday 21 August 13:16:37 UTC 2014

Coworker #1: St. Patrick's Day is my favorite holiday. I'm 100% Irish!Coworker #2: Oh yeah?Coworker #1: Yeah, especially on my dad's side. He's Irish, Scottish, and Welsh.Coworker #2: Well, then you're not 100% Irish.Coworker #1: Yes, I am.Coworker #2: No, you're not. You're…Coworker #1: Yes I am. I am 100% Irish.Coworker #2: Whatever, man.Coworker #1: The Irish are stubborn, you know.Phoenix, … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Long John Silver Gets Easily Flustered During One-on-One Interviews

Thursday 21 August 13:16:36 UTC 2014

Interviewer: Do you have a middle initial?Applicant: Nope. I got a whole middle name. John.Attleboro, Massachusetts [Link]

Overheard In The Office » But That Implies You’d Rather Get the TV Than The…

Thursday 21 August 13:16:35 UTC 2014

Grunt #1: I figured out the perfect way to get the TV remote from my wife late at night.Grunt #2: Yeah?Grunt #1: I act horny. She’d rather give up the TV than give up the ass.46 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, IndianaOverheard by: Shatmandu [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Smithers: Oh, Mr. Burns, Really!?

Thursday 21 August 13:16:34 UTC 2014

Sales manager: Do me a favor and go help that customer.Employee: Can't I just touch you inappropriately and get sent home because I make you feel really uncomfortable?Sales manager: Maybe if I thought there was some feeling behind it.Chicago, Illinois [Link]

Overheard In The Office » We Also Would Have Accepted “An Affair” or a “Strap-On Dildo”

Thursday 21 August 13:16:33 UTC 2014

IT guy #1: I found out what my wife is saving up for to surprise me for my birthday.IT guy #2: Divorce.Surrounding cubes: (uncontrollable laughter)Woodlands, Texas [Link]

Mental Floss » Who Wrote Chopsticks?

Thursday 21 August 13:11:48 UTC 2014

“Chopsticks” is probably the world’s best-known waltz (yes, it’s a waltz). [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Los Angeles port welcomes massive rubber duck, though fears that a giant, irradiated Ernie from Sesame Street may not be far behind [Amusing]

Thursday 21 August 13:03:00 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this family bonding [Photoshop]

Thursday 21 August 13:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » And You Should See His Celebrity Impersonations

Thursday 21 August 12:40:34 UTC 2014

Female account manager: So I'm going to lunch with a guy that does female Viagra…Female marketing director: What do you mean he does female Viagra?Quiet Office, 5th Avenue
New York City, New YorkOverheard by: i heard that! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not News: 23-year-old man marries 19-year-old woman. FARK: They look like identical twins (w/pics) [Strange]

Thursday 21 August 12:35:38 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [216 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Camp Bed Wet

Thursday 21 August 12:20:54 UTC 2014

The ad for this camp is via The Retroist, who unfortunately didn't supply a date.

I'm curious what went on at this camp. Was it just like a normal camp but with plastic sheets on the bed? Did it actually help bed-wetters overcome their problem?

[Link]

FMyLife » James_Briggs says FML

Thursday 21 August 12:15:41 UTC 2014

Today, I found my first grey pube. At my age, this seems like a normal thing for a man to find, but I found mine in my Big Mac. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Shawnee_dear says FML

Thursday 21 August 12:15:40 UTC 2014

Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on the steering wheel at a red light, causing the horn to go on full blast. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » In the "System"

Thursday 21 August 12:11:16 UTC 2014

[Link]

Weird Universe » Destination Earth

Thursday 21 August 11:54:41 UTC 2014

Mars needs petroleum byproducts! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know it's bad when a "good night" in Ferguson results in only 6 arrests. Progress, people [Followup]

Thursday 21 August 11:44:54 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [348 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Thanks, Craigslist!

Thursday 21 August 11:37:21 UTC 2014

Partner: Can you please find a nice Jewish lawyer who can unfuck this situation for me?Dallas, Texas [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Just Like My EHarmony Profile States

Thursday 21 August 10:35:52 UTC 2014

Old female shop assistant: The company uses really good boxes to send their stuff in, hey…Young female shop assistant: What's so good about them?Old female shop assistant: They're really easy to fold, not hard or anything.Young female shop assistant: Yes, I love a good box.Victoria
AustraliaOverheard by: Ellie [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Couple says the secret to their marital bliss is that they only see one another on weekends [PSA]

Thursday 21 August 9:11:00 UTC 2014

PSA [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old and Busted: Carrying a baby around for 9 months. New Hotness: Carrying a baby around for 38 years [Strange]

Thursday 21 August 8:01:00 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Pomp and Circumstance

Thursday 21 August 6:42:55 UTC 2014

Why do we hold graduation ceremonies? You don’t have to attend the ceremony to collect your degree; your education would be just as complete without it. Why do we maintain this seemingly needless ritual? Philosopher Elijah Millgram argues that the ceremony provides a motivation to persist through an otherwise uninspiring mountain of work. Education is a “jam-yesterday-jam-tomorrow&#~ good — we … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chick-Fil-A testing new "chicken and waffle" breakfast combinations which will have maple syrup baked inside. Yes, even the chicken [Sick]

Thursday 21 August 6:01:00 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [175 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Considered one of the best meals on Earth, the $295 per person Chef's Tasting Menu at The French Laundry is reviewed… by a four-year-old girl [Interesting]

Thursday 21 August 5:11:00 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [267 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The more wedding guests you have at your ceremony, the stronger your marriage will be [PSA]

Thursday 21 August 4:50:00 UTC 2014

PSA [link] [155 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 21 August 4:14:58 UTC 2014

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 485: "Celebrate". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 21 August 4:01:00 UTC 2014

Farktography [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Al Qaeda decides to hitch a ride on ISIS's coattails [Interesting]

Thursday 21 August 3:33:12 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New York barber uses his Sundays to turn the city's homeless into bona fide Dapper Dans [Spiffy]

Thursday 21 August 3:23:24 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [57 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 21 August 3:03:54 UTC 2014

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Humans and Neanderthals may have had sex for millennia. And you were impressed when you made it to four minutes [Interesting]

Thursday 21 August 3:00:44 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [116 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » High school student suspended and arrested after he writes a story about killing a dinosaur with a gun. Police search fails to turn up a weapon or the dinosaur in question [Asinine]

Thursday 21 August 2:56:32 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [203 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » But I Kinda Like It When My Computer Goes Down on Me

Thursday 21 August 2:47:49 UTC 2014

Male computer tech to male computer user: Hey, if you let me get between you legs I can fix that issue.Las Vegas, Nevada [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Follow Me to the Jackhammer Room!

Thursday 21 August 2:47:48 UTC 2014

Boss: We have to move out of the conference room because the student is deaf and the piano lesson in the room above is so loud.Underling: Wait… If the student is deaf why does it matter that the piano is loud?Boss: I can't deal with this right now.Syracuse, New YorkOverheard by: i choose to not hear you [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Lunch at the slaughterhouse is always a crapshoot

Thursday 21 August 2:47:47 UTC 2014

Coworker #1, walking back in from lunch: Do i have a cow-toe in my butt?
Coworker #2: Holy shit, what did you just say?
(coworker #3 spits out food) Charlotte, North Carolina [Link]

Overheard In The Office » My Kind Of Girl!

Thursday 21 August 2:47:46 UTC 2014

Office worker #1: Marta's got a heart-on!Office worker #2: What?Office worker #1: A heart. She's wearing a heart necklace! She has a heart necklace on today.Harrisburg, PennsylvaniaOverheard by: E. [Link]

Overheard In The Office » In Unrelated News

Thursday 21 August 2:47:44 UTC 2014

Office guy to friend: And so like, my ass-bone hurts. So, I looked in the mirror, you know, to see if there was a bruise. Shit is nasty!Germantown, MarylandOverheard by: John [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 2PM Personal Call

Thursday 21 August 2:46:52 UTC 2014

Coworker on phone: You live in the country, they were there first! If you didn’t want any animals you should have lived in the city! 333 North Meridian
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma Overheard by: fransen comes alive [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pro-tip: When you are meeting your probation officer, do not meet the officer in a stolen electric shopping cart [Amusing]

Thursday 21 August 2:46:24 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [11 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » sonofaneuroticwench says FML

Thursday 21 August 2:08:24 UTC 2014

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Fun Facts About 'Caddyshack'

Thursday 21 August 2:08:01 UTC 2014

You may already know your favorite moments from Caddyshack by heart but after reading this list, you’ll be a lock for membership at Bushwood Country Club. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So this is what a £240 million penthouse looks like. Not bad, not bad [Spiffy]

Thursday 21 August 1:59:17 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Ooooh, “Whores”.

Thursday 21 August 1:42:07 UTC 2014

Secretary to boss: What? The legal department is corporate?Manhattan, New York [Link]

Mental Floss » What Did Grover Cleveland Do Between Terms?

Thursday 21 August 1:11:13 UTC 2014

After losing to Benjamin Harrison, Cleveland really thought he was done with government. But his wife thought otherwise. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » SCOTUS to VA: Hold on, hold on, that's a little too much fabulousness you've got there [Followup]

Thursday 21 August 0:50:40 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [121 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Engineers Are Notoriously Hedgehogeronormative

Thursday 21 August 0:39:35 UTC 2014

Engineer #1 to #2: What the hell is up with your hair?
Engineer #2: Nothing, leave me alone!
Boss to engineer #2: Don't you shower? You look like a bush hog.
Engineer #1: Yeah, you look like a bush hog.
Engineer #2: Of course I showered. I washed my hair last night. Leave me alone. What the hell is a “bush hog”?
Engineer #3: A homosexual … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » South Carolina: Maximum sentence for beating a dog: five years. Maximum sentence for a first-time domestic violence charge: 30 days [Scary]

Thursday 21 August 0:31:20 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [343 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man taken into custody after trying to fight a fire hydrant. HOSER [Florida]

Thursday 21 August 0:21:14 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dumbass posts a huge pile of money to his Facebook page. Next day, home invasion and murder. Gee, you think the two might be related, Officer Romero? [Dumbass]

Thursday 21 August 0:17:37 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Having a kid with Down's? You're a monster if you allow it to live [Sad]

Thursday 21 August 0:16:14 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [335 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » British 500 kg bomb craters Autobahn. This is not a repeat from 1944 [Followup]

Thursday 21 August 0:15:49 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [36 comments] [Link]

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