John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Service animal. New hotness: Overdue for service animal [Sad]

Tuesday 19 August 23:39:30 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Berlin's Ebola patient downgraded to diarrhea patient [Followup]

Tuesday 19 August 23:32:33 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Okay, Now Explain ‘Compooter’

Tuesday 19 August 23:25:31 UTC 2014

Oblivious female boss flipping through magazine: Oooh, pooter! I love pooter.Startled worker: What?!Oblivious female boss: Look — pooter letter openers!Startled worker: Um, that word is actually pronounced ‘pewter.’ [Under his breath] Christ.6101 O’Connell Avenue
Colorado Springs, ColoradoOverheard by: TK [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's what Ferguson could learn from Cincinnati…and the Cardinals already know not to have J.J. Hoover in their bullpen, so it's not that [Followup]

Tuesday 19 August 23:23:41 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 108 Hand-Drawn Historical American Cars

Tuesday 19 August 22:47:50 UTC 2014

Pop Chart Lab has turned their focus towards the open road for their latest poster. The colorful collection features 108 classic American motorcars and automobiles dating from 1895 up through 2014. The original 1901 Oldsmobile is there, as is 1955's Cadillac Coupe Deville. Check out the stylish "Tin Lizzie" Ford Model T and the iconic Ford Mustang. The creative team … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man slowly in the process of contributing to the best animated gif loop ever [Amusing]

Tuesday 19 August 22:33:22 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » See Also

Tuesday 19 August 22:20:54 UTC 2014

Index entries in Thomas De Quincey’s Collected Writings, 1896: Aldermen not necessarily gluttons
Anecdotes, on eating peas with a knife
Bed, early retirement to, of the Ancients
Christenings, Royal, often hurried
Coffee, atrocious in England
Cookery, English, the rudest of barbarous devices
Devonshire men good-looking
Fleas in Greece
Greece, Ancient, its people a nation of swindlers
Horses, weeping
Johnson, Dr, … [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 19 August 22:07:34 UTC 2014

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How many therapy dogs can you claim before the neighbors start getting suspicious? [Strange]

Tuesday 19 August 22:02:11 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "There's never been a person in Iowa ever charged with having an expired bottle of antacid" [Stupid]

Tuesday 19 August 22:01:38 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chew on this: Why biting your nails is bad for you [Interesting]

Tuesday 19 August 21:36:05 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Forget the Riots, Missouri Mall may have made the worst commercial ever [Amusing]

Tuesday 19 August 21:33:27 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Islamic militants' response to Ferguson police roughing up journalists: "Amateurs" [NewsFlash]

Tuesday 19 August 21:32:32 UTC 2014

NewsFlash [link] [226 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Slate's Amanda Hess says "Policing misogyny is fabulous in theory. In practice, it's a biatch." REPORTED [Obvious]

Tuesday 19 August 21:30:34 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [447 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: The Three Penguin Stooges

Tuesday 19 August 21:30:06 UTC 2014

A Penguin Slapfight I bet you haven’t seen one of those today. * Terribly Stupid Toys Count yourself lucky that your childhood never included any of these pointless action figures (Part 1 & Part 2) * Nearly Hitler’s Killers Seven decades after a failed attempt on Adolf Hitler’s life, the families of the would-be assassins speak. * It’s A Saaaaaaaadder … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It turns out not that many people want to smell like Justin Bieber or Taylor Swift [Obvious]

Tuesday 19 August 21:23:56 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Muslims think mental illness is caused by invisible jinn, whereas we in the enlightened West know that mental illness is caused by vaccines [Interesting]

Tuesday 19 August 21:16:35 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Victim bludgeoned to death with hammer 'suffered a violent death,' well-paid expert says [Obvious]

Tuesday 19 August 21:16:03 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After discovering their new husbands' homes had no toilets, six newlywed women in India returned to their parents because they had no place else to go [Obvious]

Tuesday 19 August 21:10:50 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Honey, does this embalming fluid make my corpse look fat?" [Sad]

Tuesday 19 August 20:44:07 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [72 comments] [Link]

The Onion » BREAKING: Johnny Manziel

Tuesday 19 August 20:35:00 UTC 2014

BREAKING: Johnny Manziel
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Phoenix, Arizona in absolute chaos as water fell from the sky. "What is this new devilry?" [Amusing]

Tuesday 19 August 20:34:51 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I don't normally partake in the Panamericana/Indian Trail car challenge going from the Amazon to the Arctic Ocean, but when I do, I only drive vintage Volvos bedecked with international decals and license plates [Spiffy]

Tuesday 19 August 20:32:32 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Students who graduate with degrees from for-profit colleges find they are equally as qualified to flip burgers as those who never attended college [Obvious]

Tuesday 19 August 20:14:59 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [115 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these cutsiebears [Photoshop]

Tuesday 19 August 20:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Pressing Questions About Bicycle Use and Ownership From 1869

Tuesday 19 August 20:00:00 UTC 2014

The Velocipede, Its Past, Its Present & Its Future is a rollicking 1869 book about bicycles written by Joseph Firth Bottomley. These inventions were so popular, enthusiasts in the U.S. declared, "Walking is now on its last legs." Bottomley, a staid Brit, scoffed at this proclamation, but ventured to explain his own optimistic predictions about the machine's future. “The progress … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Reason number 6 to have an organized desk. Mayor now seeks to repeal law against saggy pants he accidentally signed rather than vetoing [Fail]

Tuesday 19 August 19:49:15 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Popular Ukraine commander wounded after mortar attack, years of playground teasing [Interesting]

Tuesday 19 August 19:46:37 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [25 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Vegan Oktoberfest Coming To California

Tuesday 19 August 19:30:00 UTC 2014

An alternative version of the Bavarian holiday Oktoberfest is coming to Santa Monica, CA for people who don’t eat animal products, replacing traditional German foods with vegan bratwurst, pancakes, sauerkraut, and beer.
[Link]

Mental Floss » How Much Is $100 Really Worth in Each State?

Tuesday 19 August 19:24:37 UTC 2014

How far does your money go in each state? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Owl flies into apartment, opens bird cage of pet canaries, and, well since you're reading this here, you can assume it doesn't end well [Scary]

Tuesday 19 August 19:21:56 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Google confirms that sharks are attacking the internet [Strange]

Tuesday 19 August 19:05:12 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's pressing issues – America: Race relations and riots in Ferguson. Israel: War and peace with Hamas. Ukraine: War with Russian-backed separatists. Canada: The merits of urban chicken farms [Silly]

Tuesday 19 August 19:02:20 UTC 2014

Silly [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » India Has Human-Powered Ferris Wheels

Tuesday 19 August 19:00:41 UTC 2014

Eco-friendly? Yes. Cost-effective? You Bet. Safe? Not exactly. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russia set to confiscate Jack Daniel's Honey because something non-whiskey is in it. Duh. It's called "honey" [Asinine]

Tuesday 19 August 18:55:30 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Survey finds people under the age of 35 perfectly cool with using a latex glove, plastic wrap, sandwich bags and the thumb of their old catcher's mitt instead of condoms [Stupid]

Tuesday 19 August 18:34:44 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Americans are too afraid to take vacations which is causing them to get stressed so they should take vacation but they're too afraid to take vacations which is causing them to get stressed so they should…AAAAAAAAHHHH *hops out window* [Sad]

Tuesday 19 August 18:26:15 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [166 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Willie Nelson Does a Card Trick

Tuesday 19 August 18:11:10 UTC 2014

In this oddly enchanting video, Willie Nelson performs a card trick known as Sam the Bellhop. In Willie's version, Sam is a nameless porter, but that doesn't matter—Willie's got the routine down cold. Watch, relax, and be amazed: This comes to me courtesy of MetaFilter, which includes a comment thread explaining the trick. I think you can mostly figure it … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » CNN anchor asks why police in Ferguson don't use water cannons. Her co-anchor's look says it all [Dumbass]

Tuesday 19 August 18:07:38 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [335 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » drunk under 18 teenager says FML

Tuesday 19 August 17:59:44 UTC 2014

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What's a Benway? Enough to terrify a Marlborough Man [Strange]

Tuesday 19 August 17:56:28 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Source in Ferguson PD says that more than a dozen witnesses have backed up officers Darren Wilson's account of the Michael Brown Shooting. No word on who these 27 witnesses are, or when the 53 witnesses will make statements. Reporter has backtrac

Tuesday 19 August 17:55:31 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [822 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » (deepest voice) "Hello, Alex? This is Tucker's father. Tucker won't be marrying you on Saturday because he's just killed himself. Why yes I do sound a lot like me, I mean, my son but now I must hang up" [Dumbass]

Tuesday 19 August 17:43:30 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [116 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Infographic: Top Parenting Trends Of 2014

Tuesday 19 August 17:35:00 UTC 2014

Between questions of breastfeeding, circumcision, vaccinations, and must-have accessories, moms and dads are confronted with a wealth of options when it comes to raising their children.
[Link]

Mental Floss » 21 Fancy Medical Terms for Mundane Problems

Tuesday 19 August 17:00:12 UTC 2014

It might not be a big deal, but you can make it sound like one. [Link]

The Onion » Chinese Journalists Bemoan Decline Of Traditional State-Run Newspapers, Rise Of State-Run New Media

Tuesday 19 August 16:55:00 UTC 2014

BEIJING—Claiming the changed media landscape of the digital age has led to a marked drop in the depth and quality of party propaganda, veteran reporters in China expressed concern this week over what they see as the decline of traditional state-cont…
[Link]

The Onion » Architects Of 2026 Market Crash Just Finished A Highly Productive Lunch

Tuesday 19 August 16:50:00 UTC 2014

NEW YORK—Shaking hands and thanking each other for taking the time to meet, the architects of the 2026 Market Crash parted ways Tuesday after a highly productive meal at the Capital Grille steakhouse in lower Manhattan.
[Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: President

Tuesday 19 August 16:38:48 UTC 2014

Today's mentalfloss.com Tuesday Test Time Brain Game asks you to break down a nine-letter word, one letter at a time, forming new words along the way. Are you up to the challenge? By removing one letter from the mix at each step,
and rearranging the remaining letters to form new words,
reduce the word "PRESIDENT" to the letter "I."
P R … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Uh folks, we can't land this plane because our traffic controllers have decided to take a nap" [Scary]

Tuesday 19 August 16:36:55 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Slate asks: Can anyone fix the Ferguson police department? You know what they say about articles with a question in the title. No. It's no [Obvious]

Tuesday 19 August 16:28:48 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [339 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "We're not criminalizing homelessness. We're just going to arrest you if you're homeless here" [Sad]

Tuesday 19 August 16:26:00 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Passed out drunk in a Beijing alley with a massive hard on? Not even once [Amusing]

Tuesday 19 August 16:05:12 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Michelle Duggar takes a few minutes off from creating her own race of mutants to robocall Arkansas about THE GAYS [Stupid]

Tuesday 19 August 16:02:56 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [164 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » NFL Brothers Star in Sequel ‘Fantasy Football Fantasy' Music Video

Tuesday 19 August 15:46:52 UTC 2014

Brought to you by DIRECTV [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Keeping your skin toned and youthful is as easy as putting a rubber ball gag with rubber wings in your mouth and moving your head about to make the wings flap [Weird]

Tuesday 19 August 15:30:34 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Perfect for drinkers who want a stiff one [Repeat]

Tuesday 19 August 15:24:34 UTC 2014

Repeat [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♫ Your lights are on, but you're not home. Your mind is not your own. Your heart sweats, your body shakes. Another shot is what it takes. You can't sleep, you can't eat; there's no doubt, you're in deep ♫ [Scary]

Tuesday 19 August 15:13:54 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [35 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Opinion: #poopjeanteasdalesays (by Jean Teasdale)

Tuesday 19 August 15:06:00 UTC 2014

By Jean Teasdale – A Room Of Jean’s Own
[Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Fantasy Football Costs Businesses $13.4 Billion In Lost Productivity

Tuesday 19 August 15:03:00 UTC 2014

According to a study by corporate restructuring firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas, fantasy football costs U.S.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » To avoid another Eyjafjallajökull disaster, here's a clear and simple guide for pronouncing Bárðarbunga [Amusing]

Tuesday 19 August 15:00:46 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What's So Continental About a Continental Breakfast?

Tuesday 19 August 14:52:52 UTC 2014

A stale bagel in a Midwest motel is a far cry from a flaky croissant at a Parisian cafe, but the sentiment is the same. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Wizard of "Oswald"

Tuesday 19 August 14:52:51 UTC 2014

[Link]

The Onion » Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 19, 2014

Tuesday 19 August 14:50:00 UTC 2014

ARIES: You'll become embroiled in a steamy office romance next week, which would be better if you weren't the trusty in charge of bringing the warden his meals.
[Link]

The Onion » Teary-Eyed Wrestlers Bid Farewell To Friends Made At SummerSlam

Tuesday 19 August 14:46:00 UTC 2014

LOS ANGELES— Promising that the memories and new friendships made at this year’s pay-per-view event would stay with them forever, the professional wrestlers of the WWE exchanged tearful goodbyes Sunday as SummerSlam 2014 drew to a close.
[Link]

The Onion » Battleship Awkwardly Propped Up Against Ferguson Police Department

Tuesday 19 August 14:45:00 UTC 2014

Battleship Awkwardly Propped Up Against Ferguson Police Department
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Who knew giant pits in the ground where rugged men burrow deeper into the earth to excavate rare metals could look so sensuous and pure? [Spiffy]

Tuesday 19 August 14:26:01 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♫ I'm starting to eat the man in the river ♪ [Scary]

Tuesday 19 August 14:20:22 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Change of Venue

Tuesday 19 August 14:18:24 UTC 2014

A and B are playing a simple game. Between them are nine tiles numbered 1 to 9. They take tiles alternately from the pile, and the first to collect three tiles that sum to 15 wins the game. Does the first player have a winning strategy? SelectClick for Answer No. Arrange the numbers into a magic square: 8 1 6 … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How the Ferguson Fiasco would be written if it were occurring in say the Middle East as opposed to the Middle West [Amusing]

Tuesday 19 August 14:05:36 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pope Francis implores people to seek peaceful resolution with ISIS as he…. wait, what did he say? Attack ISIS? The Pope said that? [Interesting]

Tuesday 19 August 13:48:35 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [149 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Skinny Liberation

Tuesday 19 August 13:47:09 UTC 2014

Skinny people aren't often recognized as being part of an oppressed minority. Back in 1972, Barry Goldsmith tried to change this by announcing the Skinny Liberation movement and issuing an "emaciation proclamation." But his efforts don't seem to have changed public attitudes significantly. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find a picture of Mr. Goldsmith. But it sounds like he … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » They're Made with Those Broccoli Pigs

Tuesday 19 August 13:26:49 UTC 2014

Self-important guy: Most hot dogs in the US are pretty much vegetarian anyway.Lexington, MassachusettsOverheard by: amused and disgusted [Link]

Overheard In The Office » It’s Hard to Believe This Joke Is Still Funny at a Pizza Place

Tuesday 19 August 13:26:48 UTC 2014

Customer: Is my pizza ready?Cashier, yelling: Hey! Is this guy’s 12-inch out yet?Manager, laughing: Did you just say that?!Cashier, blushing: Oh! Oh my god!Fort Hood, TexasOverheard by: can I get one of those? [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 2PM Dress Code

Tuesday 19 August 13:26:47 UTC 2014

Coworker #1: I just got this suit at Paul Stuart. Do you like it?
Coworker #2: Yeah, you look like the Easter Pimp. 101 East 42nd Street
New York, New York Overheard by: Amazed [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I Count Seven Foil Helmets in This Room Alone

Tuesday 19 August 13:26:46 UTC 2014

Sad boss: I'm sure there are a lot of normal people here, just not in this department.Hartford, Connecticut [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Ever See Pet Sematary?

Tuesday 19 August 13:26:45 UTC 2014

Boss: Yeah, I was at a funeral yesterday. My friend had a three-week-old pass away.Coworker: Man, that's awful. What happened?Boss: Well, it's kinda funny…Raleigh, North Carolina [Link]

Overheard In The Office » 10AM Pick Up Package

Tuesday 19 August 13:26:44 UTC 2014

Worker #1: I’m expecting my new inbox today.
Worker #2: You’re pregnant again?
Worker #1: … 6475 SW Fallbrook Place
Beaverton, Oregon [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Welcome to the Club

Tuesday 19 August 13:26:41 UTC 2014

Front office girl at medical spa, hanging up phone: The client says we are not taking her concerns seriously, and she is going to report us to the Surgeon General.Ditzy manager: The Surgeon General? But we don't have anything to do with smoking!Front office girl, under her breath: I can't believe I have to report to you.Charlotte, North CarolinaOverheard by: OMG … [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Spongebob Had Difficulties Making Friends in the Workplace

Tuesday 19 August 13:26:40 UTC 2014

Manager to another: Well…you're squishy!Austin, TexasOverheard by: I just work here… [Link]

Mental Floss » Wizard of "Oswald"

Tuesday 19 August 13:22:50 UTC 2014

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this wave of surprise [Photoshop]

Tuesday 19 August 13:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » I’m Not Paying $4.50 to Rent Old Yeller and Find Out What We Already Know

Tuesday 19 August 12:28:06 UTC 2014

Mom to daughter: All that matters is that the dog is dead. Stop & Shop
Richmond, Rhode Island Overheard by: Scratch [Link]

FMyLife » sorrynotsorry says FML

Tuesday 19 August 12:18:50 UTC 2014

Today, a customer told my boss I was too pushy because I asked her what bra size she wears. I work at a lingerie store. I got a stern lecture from my boss. FML [Link]

Weird Universe » Beverly Massegee and Erick

Tuesday 19 August 12:09:21 UTC 2014

Evangelical ventriloquism: I tend to suspect no one does it better than Beverly Massegee. (Ie, no one else does it at all.)

I could not find any clips of her and "Erick," so you'll have to content yourself with her "singing." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Reporter posts photos of 'rubber bullets,' proving once and for all that that "Media Guide to Firearms" image is not really a joke [Fail]

Tuesday 19 August 11:49:31 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Oh Look, Now I've Broken a Nail!

Tuesday 19 August 11:25:10 UTC 2014

Young mother pushing baby carriage to old woman holding door for her: Oh, thanks. I think about how hard it must be for people in wheelchairs, but I think this is worse, because I always have so much to carry.Kent, OhioOverheard by: elizabetz [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Book vs. Movie

Tuesday 19 August 10:00:57 UTC 2014

Over 20 years after Lowis Lowry's The Giver became a staple in young adult fiction, it's been released as a movie. But how faithful is the film to the novel? * What is it like to be a hand—or other specific body part—model? For one thing, a little moisturizer goes a long way. * As you might have guessed, a … [Link]

FMyLife » morgie96 says FML

Tuesday 19 August 9:41:47 UTC 2014

Today, on Facebook, all these parents posted photos of their child's last first day of high school, saying they were so proud as they left for senior year. It was my first day of senior year today, but my parents just gave me a high-five for not doing drugs. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 19 August 9:12:39 UTC 2014

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML [Link]

FMyLife » StephLo says FML

Tuesday 19 August 9:12:38 UTC 2014

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New data show the highest earners are making less money in the current economy, although makers of tiny violins expect to see surge in profits [Misc]

Tuesday 19 August 9:09:23 UTC 2014

Misc [link] [147 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is the best photo I have ever taken. DIT [Hero]

Tuesday 19 August 7:44:00 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [135 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Like most rational Americans, this KKK grand wizard is waiting for all the details in the Michael Brown shooting to come to light before before rushing to judgement [Followup]

Tuesday 19 August 6:55:24 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [177 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » According to soon to be out of business cafe owner, Australians don't like their coffee black [Dumbass]

Tuesday 19 August 6:46:22 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » School forces students in gym class to wear heart monitors so teachers can ensure they aren't "slacking off." Because washed-up athletes who scraped by with Ds in college are qualified to evaluate students [Fail]

Tuesday 19 August 6:42:33 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 41 and 36-year-old sisters have been sentenced to death by hanging for kidnapping children as part of a begging operation and murdering them when they were no longer useful. I'm pretty sure I already saw this movie in 2008 [Sick]

Tuesday 19 August 6:40:43 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Get hit by a forklift resulting in a fractured ankle which required pins inserted in it, as well as a large laceration to one of your legs? That's $118,450 (USD) in reparation [Followup]

Tuesday 19 August 6:40:32 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman accused of faking cancer and scamming thousands from donors arrested as she tried to board a plane bound for Chicago so she could appear on Dr. Phil [Dumbass]

Tuesday 19 August 6:24:51 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Unquote

Tuesday 19 August 6:17:09 UTC 2014

“The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well.” — Horace Walpole “Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.” — Inscribed on Thomas Huxley’s memorial [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember that botched raid where the SWAT team threw a flashbang grenade into a toddler's crib? The county refuses to pay the toddler's medical bills [Followup]

Tuesday 19 August 5:59:37 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [201 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Atlanta woman enters mugshot hall of fame after swiping, crashing police car, looks like submitter feels on any given Monday morning [Amusing]

Tuesday 19 August 5:05:01 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » From Y'all To Youse, 8 English Ways to Make "You" Plural

Tuesday 19 August 4:56:59 UTC 2014

Lots of languages have distinct plural forms for "you." Wouldn't it be useful if English had one too? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Ferguson police fail train rumbles on as they attempt to interrupt a live CNN broadcast from a location deemed safe for protesters, arrest Getty photographers, and throw in a 90-year-old Holocaust survivor for good measure [Fail]

Tuesday 19 August 3:18:11 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [1444 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Julian Assange considering 'leaving' the Ecuadorean embassy after hearing of a better cable package, wi-fi in Honduras [Followup]

Tuesday 19 August 2:41:27 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It is with deep sadness that I inform you that my very good friend and very much loved Farker, Pud has passed away. He had no living relatives and we were his only family. If you have the opportunity, feel free to join us for his memorial [Sad]

Tuesday 19 August 2:37:58 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [153 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Having a drink or three is OK just watch out for that fourth one, it could wipe you out with a nasty hangover depending on who you are. Here's the science [Interesting]

Tuesday 19 August 2:07:59 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vodka and tequila are now available together in one bottle. That's right, Vodquila is here [PSA]

Tuesday 19 August 1:43:08 UTC 2014

PSA [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Nothing further was reported about the one-legged man or his weaponized prosthetic limb" [Strange]

Tuesday 19 August 1:16:48 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » He Has a Guide Horse to Count for Him

Tuesday 19 August 1:13:46 UTC 2014

Gallery owner: Okay, so let's just see how many of these images we have. One… two… (long pause, staring at a slide)Assistant: Three?Owner: Three.Manhattan, New YorkOverheard by: Grace [Link]

Overheard In The Office » But a Lot of People Feel That Way About Communism

Tuesday 19 August 1:13:45 UTC 2014

Boss: So when it works, does it work?CTO: When it's working, it should work. Boss: Good, because if it didn't work when it worked that just wouldn't work.Houston, Texas [Link]

Overheard In The Office » Naming Him 'Hitler' May Have Been a Mistake

Tuesday 19 August 1:13:44 UTC 2014

Intern #1: Yeah, well… my dog isn't like the nicest person ever.Intern #2: Yeah… Mine isn't either.Jersey City, New JerseyOverheard by: still wondering if they were serious. [Link]

Overheard In The Office » They Totally Have an App for That

Tuesday 19 August 1:13:43 UTC 2014

Male coworker to female coworker: Naw! You should just put out for the iPhone.Oakbrook Terrace, IllinoisOverheard by: Corporate America Ate My Young Adulthood [Link]

Overheard In The Office » And Those Are the First Two Bullet-Points on My CV

Tuesday 19 August 1:13:42 UTC 2014

Peon: I was normally born, and I have a normal head!11149 Research Boulevard
Austin, TexasOverheard by: across the cube [Link]

Overheard In The Office » But It Could Be a Type Of Exotic Metal!

Tuesday 19 August 1:13:41 UTC 2014

Coworker #1: That's a nice shirt, is it new?Coworker #2: No, I found it in the back of my closet.Coworker #1: It looks good, what material is that?Coworker #2: I think it's a type of cloth…Stamford, Connecticut [Link]

Overheard In The Office » If I Say No, Will You Promise Not to Call Back?

Tuesday 19 August 1:13:40 UTC 2014

Caller: I'm calling to talk to the woman I talked to last week. I can't remember her name.(pause) I don't know…did I call the right place?Richmond, Virginia [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bad news for anyone drinking Corona. Also, there might be glass in your beer [Scary]

Tuesday 19 August 0:58:39 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Diseases in America move from south to north, because of course they do [Sick]

Tuesday 19 August 0:35:30 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Iceland raises volcano alert level to "get the Bjork out" [Interesting]

Tuesday 19 August 0:30:13 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Overheard In The Office » How Can We Talk Without Metatalk?

Tuesday 19 August 0:18:26 UTC 2014

Young guy #1, staring at screen, to guy next to him: Fine, don't fucking chat to me then. I'm putting you on ignore.Young guy #2, staring at screen: Facebook logged me out! (jabbing frantically at mouse button) I can't log back in!Young guy #1, still staring at his screen: How the fuck are we going to chat then?Ward Library
University of Western … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One day, politicians will learn that Wikipedia edits are tracked. Today is not that day [Amusing]

Tuesday 19 August 0:06:03 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these selfish selfie moment [Photoshop]

Tuesday 19 August 0:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [32 comments] [Link]

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