Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Lauren Bacall's successful audition for new version of The Big Sleep [NewsFlash]
[link] [272 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Failure to appear… human? It's this week's Mugshot Roundup [Fail]
[link] [93 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML [Link]
FMyLife » not a dick-man says FML
Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 4 Photos of the Aftermath of a Nevada A-Bomb Test
At the peak of the Cold War, the United States started detonating atomic bombs in the Nevada desert. Fake homes were built and mannequins were positioned to test what kind of destruction the bombs would cause. The particular test pictured below took place in 1955. It was nothing new—many tests happened before and continued after this one. The mundanity of … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Or Maybe Like Epcot without Them
Grunt: I don’t like Vegas. Actually, I liked Vegas when the mob ran it. Now it’s like Disneyland with hookers.402 Watertower Circle
Colchester, VermontOverheard by: Bastian [Link]
Fark.com RSS » After collecting and testing all of the dog poop that has been showing up in the park, it has been determined that the dog poop is, in fact, human poop [Sick]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police investigate string of battery thefts, say charges are expected [Obvious]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wow. Such doge. Very hero [Hero]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Smokey The Bear Gets Millennial Makeover For 70th Anniversary
In honor of the firefighting mascot’s 70th anniversary this week, advertisers gave Smokey the Bear a makeover to appeal to the millennial generation, which included giving him Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram accounts. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » 22 Brilliant Old Nicknames For Animals
Dogs have been called pooches since the early 1900s. Rabbits have been called bunnies since the 18th century. And the earliest reference to a puss rather than a "cat" dates back as far as 1533. Not all animal nicknames like these survive from one generation to the next however, and the 22 listed here are amongst the most unusual that … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Christian radio host claims Ebola will cleanse the world of atheists, gays and sluts [Dumbass]
[link] [248 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mom, grandma hasn't stopped talking in two weeks and she keeps telling me she's knows a secret about the dust under the dresser [Interesting]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wisconsinites continue proud tradition of spending their wedding nights drunk and in jail [Amusing]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Convicted killer wants to skip part of trial where victim's family calls him names for an hour [Obvious]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This guy isn't getting his bike back, but at least the entire internet knows he cleverly called the thief a douchebag [Amusing]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Money from undergarments will not be accepted in this office" [Amusing]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Interrupting this awful week of news, here's a picture of newly born panda triplets [Sappy]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If a fire hydrant is located several feet from the curb, with a tree in front of it, and is located in a pay parking zone, are you allowed to park there? HINT: The answer involves making as much money for the city as possible [Stupid]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Absolutely Awful Band Names
Please Don’t Welcome Them to the Stage These band names are just terrible. * “Your Move, Chief” The bench where Robin Williams delivered a brilliant speech on life and love in Good Will Hunting was quickly turned into a memorial. * The Bard Stand-Up Williams puts on a grand performance of the lost Shakespeare play So That’s the Way You … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these Russians reenacting [Photoshop]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Livestock Happiest, Healthiest Attendees Of State Fair
INDIANAPOLIS—Based on criteria ranging from frequency of exercise to wholesomeness of diet to general contentment, reports confirmed Tuesday that the livestock on display at the 2014 Indiana State Fair are by far the happiest and healthiest attendee… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Let's take a stroll through the "Hermit Kingdom" of North Korea with this film crew that the Supreme Leader has ever so graciously allowed for us to see everyday the life of its citizens [Interesting]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Man Brings Son Into Office To See Where Dad Emasculated
ROGERS, MN—Smiling and offering commentary throughout the visit, local employee Jason Aldrich reportedly brought his 7-year-old son to his office Tuesday, giving the young boy a chance to see where his dad is humiliated and stripped of his manhood o… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Can you tell us anything that might help us identify your attacker?" [Dumbass]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 7 New Robots Designed to Do Human Jobs
Will your job be taken by a robot? [Link]
Mental Floss » 9 Odd Demands on the Riders of Comedians
Comedy stars have asked for some strange things before their shows. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coroner confirms that Robin Williams death was suicide and that he hanged himself with a belt. That's not funny [Followup]
[link] [399 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Limited time offer. Vermont offers free milk at rest stop. Difficulty, squeeze it yourself [Weird]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police: 'Man's body sent to recycling centre' is not suspicious [Strange]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Media honors Robin Williams' family's request for privacy by airing live aerials of his home [Sick]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » After years of claiming the exact opposite, advocates of the Keystone XL pipeline vehemently deny that the pipeline will increase the global supply of oil or drive the price down, after a new study questions the project's impact on climate change
[link] [102 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Opinion: I’m Always Open To Feedback That I Can Get Defensive About And Ultimately Ignore (by Dean Belair)
By Dean Belair 
[Link]
The Onion » Documentary A Scathing Indictment Of Director’s Filmmaking Skills
BOSTON—Saying the film exposes director Kenneth Strable’s total lack of pacing, editing, and cinematography skills, critics and viewers alike have called the newly released documentary The Cost Of Labor a “scathing indictment of t… 
[Link]
The Onion » New Nike Running App Tells You What You’re Really Running From
The new app pinpoints the unique existential angst at the core of each runner’s workout routine. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Friends promise to help each other quit work if either wins the lottery. One wins over $11m, meets his friend at work, honours the deal. Both retire on the spot [Cool]
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A vibrator stuck up your butt is no way to die from embarrassment (Not safe for work) [Weird]
[link] [103 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Toronto Police confirm the only bomb at City Hall is the Mayor himself [Followup]
[link] [11 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Free Range
Description of the facts underlying an 1828 action against John Ramage, a Liverpool man accused of “omitting to take proper care of a cow”: The circumstances of the case were of a somewhat singular nature. It appeared, from the evidence, that, about six o’clock in the evening of the 8th of July last, a cow was found wandering in Tithebarn-street … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Important tip for those considering a life of crime: when making a getaway from your daring heist, do not stop to urinate on a wasp nest [Dumbass]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Meet Asia’s Saber-Toothed Deer
Peter Halasz Why grow antlers when you can have fangs? People normally associate “saber teeth” with bloodthirsty ice age cats, but a few modern critters also have them—including some rather docile herbivores. Meet the musk deer family (aka: the Moschidae). To date, seven species have been identified, all of which hail from Asia—though the fossil record reveals that their prehistoric … [Link]
FMyLife » jake says FML
Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Attention please: Japan is weird. That is all [Amusing]
[link] [104 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Story of Class Struggle, America's Most Popular Marxist Board Game
Released in 1978, a socialist alternative to Monopoly sold over 200,000 copies and was translated into multiple languages. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » All supplies of ZMapp have now been exhausted. If you are planning to get Ebola, it would probably be a good idea to wait until replacement stocks have been produced [Followup]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » George RR Martin says Game of Thrones may include gay sex, but only if the plot justifies it. Actual quote: "You can't just insert things because everyone wants to see them" [Amusing]
[link] [174 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Everything you need to escape from Alcatraz, circa 1962 [Interesting]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Weird New Cereal Sets Tone For First Weekend At Divorced Dad’s
APPLETON, WI—Saying that the unfamiliar brand was different from what he was used to, local preteen Nicholas Fischer told reporters Monday that eating a strange new breakfast cereal had really set the tone for the first weekend at his recently divor… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Robin Williams leaves behind four completed films that are slated to hit theaters within the next 12 months [Cool]
[link] [217 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: FCC Mandates Text-To-911 Emergency Service
The FCC has established a deadline for all cellular providers to offer services that allow users to text messages to 911 emergency dispatchers, which allows those in need to get help when it's too dangerous to talk or when they are unable to speak. 
[Link]
The Onion » Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 12, 2014
VIRGO: The constellation Virgo has seen you gazing at her in silent supplication, and she has this message for you: Her eyes are up here. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Owner of Legal Sea Foods would like you to know that just because he has dozens of restaurants all over the East Coast all serving the same bland seafood to the same bland customers, he is most definitely still not a "chain" [Unlikely]
[link] [93 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » No Lead in My Pencil, Either
Loud coworker on phone: Well, it just says something about how this week is going. I can't even get the banana to work.San Francisco, CaliforniaOverheard by: Eve S. Dropper [Link]
Overheard In The Office » That Seinfeld Episode Has Affected Everyone Differently
IT guy #1: I will kill you with my soup cup?IT guy #2: Okay.Dodge St
Omaha, NebraskaOverheard by: Northern Lad [Link]
Overheard In The Office » NewsFlash: Canadia's Economy Mysteriously Falters!
Geeky cashier: How are you pay'n for this?Guy in a hurry: Cash.Geeky cashier: Like cash, cash?Guy in a hurry: What?Best Buy
Newmarket
Ontario, Canadia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Fran Drescher Knew Exactly What to Do
Office girl: I think someone brought in a mail-order nanny on penis cake day.Scarborough
CanadiaOverheard by: C.note [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Although That Could Just Be the Mescaline Talking
Black girl peon #1: That girl is so annoying. She is so happy all the time.Black girl peon #2: I know, right? It’s like she has butterflies coming out of her mouth or something.Washington, DC [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And Gastronomically
Teacher: I just love children!(silence in the room)Teacher: Medically speaking, of course…Hospital
New YorkOverheard by: Yeah, I think I'm gonna leave now… [Link]
Mental Floss » How to Thrive For a Month Out of Your Backpack
You may not be able to fit your entire life into a backpack, but that’s what makes living out of a single bag an adventure. You’ll be surprised at just how much you can jam into your pack if you plan ahead. 1. Count Your Threads Research the climate of where you’re going. Even if you plan on staying in … [Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: Perverted!
Today's mentalfloss.com Tuesday Test Time Brain Game asks you to break down an eight-letter word, one letter at a time, forming new words along the way. Are you up to the challenge? By removing one letter from the mix at each step,
and rearranging the remaining letters to form new words,
reduce the word "PERVERTS" to the letter "E." P E … [Link]
Mental Floss » Where to Watch the Perseid Meteor Shower
As the comet Swift-Tuttle sweeps around the sun, it leaves a trail of icy meteoroids in its wake. The result? An August full of shooting stars. [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Two Names
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Even ISIS apparently liked Robin Williams [Weird]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Flowers Opening in Timelapse
Yesterday was rough for many of us. If you'd like to tune out and just watch something beautiful, I present you with a variety of simple, lovely options: flowers blooming in timelapse, by photographer Neil Bromhall. Nymphaea alba timelapse Sunflower timelapse Six days. One shot every eight minutes. Iris foetidissima timelapse This one took 12 days (!). Cherry blossom timelapse … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A look at why we forget names as soon as we meet people. It's not that they're unmemorable, it's just that we don't care [PSA]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police arrest in a shooting and home invasion case that occurred in Sanford. The suspect is described as a "big dummy" [Florida]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » For some strange reason, people are just tiny bit suspicious about those 280 Russian trucks headed to Ukraine as a "Humanitarian relief convoy" and exactly what they are carrying [Obvious]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Look, Next Time You Die, Just Handcuff Yourself to God
Manager: There’s a sucker born every minute, and I keep getting born!55 Railroad Avenue
Greenwich, ConnecticutOverheard by: CV [Link]
Fark.com RSS » While that distinctive tattoo you think makes you look like a bad ass, replace "bad" with "dumb" when you decide to go around on a burglary spree [Dumbass]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » kirstyrd says FML
Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Some of Robin Williams' more memorable quotes and advice on life: "When in doubt, go for a dick joke" [Interesting]
[link] [126 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fight at golf club leaves hole in one, Jelena Jankovic almost loses her set, and US air passengers reclassified as cargo: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/3 – 8/9 [FarkBlog]
[link] [7 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police shoot at man who parked in handicapped space without permit [Scary]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The costumed miscreants that plague Times Square and try to bully unsuspecting tourists into giving them tips for photographs are hoping to form a union, which would make it virtually impossible to ban them [Scary]
[link] [164 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Penguin walks into hotel, reportedly looking for the rabbit trying to get him back to his home at the South Pole [Sappy]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Kid goes for a swim in the restricted area of a lake and it comes back to bite him in the ass [Florida]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 19 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Beethoven
Ludwig van Beethoven was born in December of 1770 in Bonn to parents Johann and Maria, who were excited and scared about the future of their newborn son. Stubborn and self-involved, dramatic yet loving of his friends, Beethoven would become a virtuoso pianist and canonical composer of dozens of symphonies, concertos for piano, piano sonatas, and string quartets. Having performed … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Robin Williams' 10 Best Musical Moments" somehow left out his Elmer Fudd singing Bruce Springsteen [Sad]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » My Sonar Tells Me You're Jealous
Straight girl: Dolphins are just gay sharks.Straight dude: Hahaha, gay sharks.Gay dude: Oh, haha, very funny.Straight dude to gay dude: Your new name is “flipper”.Manhattan, New York [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Chief Justice Roberts, who helped usher in unlimited political spending, decries partisanship. That's the joke [Dumbass]
[link] [297 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Why Do We Count Sheep?
In Medieval Britain, shepherds who wanted to use communal grazing land were required to keep a close head count of their flocks, using a special counting system (it went by the catchy name of “yan, tan, tethera,” and shepherds kept using it until the turn of the 20th century!) before they hit the hay each night. But at least one … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » If Only People Could Afford to Pay Us
President of law firm: Well, in these tough economic times, it's great to know that there's a billable lining to every dark cloud.Richmond, Virginia [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this boy and his bubbles [Photoshop]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » theshire says FML
Today, it's been 10 days since my family and I have been visiting France. I've always wanted to try their culinary specialties but my dad says we "can't trust them". We've eaten at McDonald's 9/10 times. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not satisfied with getting protected bike lanes in the city, cyclists now want protected bike lanes in the country [Unlikely]
[link] [230 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Mexican Twist
"Hey, Manuel, why go to the bullfight when you can do the tweest?"
The Twisting Kings were apparently the studio musicians who later became known as the Funk Brothers. [Link]
Weird Universe » Unique Auto Horn
Walter George Newman definitely sounds like he was a bit of a character. I like the idea of having a guy blowing on a trumpet instead of a horn.
The New York Times – Aug 17, 1910
[Link]
Overheard In The Office » Oh, Sorry, “3.” We’ll Fill You in Later
CEO: Everyone was at that meeting! If your name began with a consonant or a vowel, you were in the fuckin’ meeting!Elmsford, New YorkOverheard by: Bored Beyond Belief [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Why pay rent in an upscale apartment complex when you can live by the beach in a 1985 Volkswagen Westfalia camper van? [Cool]
[link] [95 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 3 Places to Watch the Perseid Meteor Shower
As the comet Swift-Tuttle sweeps around the sun, it leaves a trail of icy meteoroids in its wake. The result? An August full of shooting stars. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Attention tourists: If you're visiting the United States there are some things you can do to blend in, including adding ice to every drink, call football soccer, and brag about being dumb [Obvious]
[link] [321 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Remembering Robin Williams
Remembering Robin Williams, the amazing elastic man. The talent that could not be contained is no more.
*
29 Great Performances By Robin Williams. Because there are too many to recall on your own.
*
The mashup you didn’t know you needed: Sharklumbo! It’s a shark movie, featuring everyone’s favorite detective, Columbo.
*
Here's the Better Call Saul teaser trailer … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Attention valued Timmy's customers: please use the INSTALLED drive-thru window. DO NOT create your own [PSA]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » vicious_fashion says FML
Today, I went directly from the shopping mall to the hospital. My sister had slammed my hand in the car door, all because I considered purchasing a dress that looked like something she might buy for herself. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Two Names
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » New Jersey town to spray grape flavored chemical fog to scare away birds. Scientists say it's made from a mix of Nerds and Jolly Ranchers, distilled grape juice, fermented Dimetapp, and a scoop of Big League Chew and Kool Aid [Interesting]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » marcranger says FML
Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Spokesman says Wisconsin DOT is not installing speed bumps, it just sucks at road maintenance [PSA]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Operation Fantasia
In 1943, seeking to use psychological warfare to prevail in its efforts against the Japanese, the U.S. Office of Strategic Services hit on a strange plan. Noting that Shintoists might view the image of an illuminated fox as a harbinger of bad times, the agency’s experts suggested that “under extremely trying conditions” the Japanese “would be adversely affected by what … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A pig like that, you don't eat all at once [Strange]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » NYPD arrests Spider-Man, Iron Man, and Elmo for violating the Superhuman Registration Act [Interesting]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Business picks up at the Galleria Mall in St. Louis, as police respond to reports of multiple brawls breaking out in the mall [Followup]
[link] [235 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How bad is it in northern Iraq? So bad people are flocking to Syria for safety [Scary]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Scientists Created a Water Tractor Beam
Tractor beams have long been a science fiction fantasy—a magical force that attracts objects from a distance, like an alien’s spaceship sucking up its earthling specimens. We're getting there. [Link]
Mental Floss » RIP, Robin Williams
Christopher Reeve presents his former Juilliard roommate Robin Williams a People's Choice Award in 1979. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » First entry in to this year's best corn maze (or maize maze) is here [Cool]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Don't you hate it when Air Traffic Control tells you to fly at 2,000 feet towards a 4,000ft mountain? [Sad]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bad: You roll your car. Worse: You are promptly arrested for DUI. FARK: Your father and brother show up to help and THEY are arrested for DUI [Fail]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Fictional Wars and Why They're Being Fought
Growing up, it was just understood that of course G.I. Joe was at war with Cobra, and obviously the Autobots needed to defeat the Decepticons. The Foot Clan? Kill 'em all and let Krang sort 'em out. But in our youthful bloodlust, rarely did we bother asking why these guys were fighting in the first place. How did these wars … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Whatever it's called, the habit of making statements sound like questions is a genuine linguistic mystery? [Interesting]
[link] [107 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In a move sure to invoke civil and well-thought-out reactions from people outside the school, Steubenville High School lets one of the two convicted rapists back on the football team [Asinine]
[link] [222 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » poorman says FML
Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » US weapons destroy ISIS weapons, which were US weapons before they were Iraq's weapons after US weapons destroyed Iraq's weapons. Weapons [Stupid]
[link] [110 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientists say two-headed dolphin carcass found on beach must have served a dual porpoise [Strange]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » McDonald's food now even more tasteless [Sick]
[link] [157 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If newspapers describe you as the world's dumbest burglar, they might be on to something (w/ mugshot that kind of makes their case) [Dumbass]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Historical Artifacts You Can Own…For A Price
For history buffs who won't settle for a trip to the museum or a good book, the Internet offers a treasure trove of artifacts you can own—if you've got significant money to spend. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Everyone Reacts Differently to Getting a Raise
Young sales guy, humping older sales guy's chair: I'm not wearing any panties!Melbourne
AustraliaOverheard by: Katling [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Ballerinas Decide to Go to America
Bimbette: Hey, remember the time we broke the toilet?Blonde: Yeah, stuff like that happens to us.Bimbette: I wonder what will happen to us next…Blonde: Let’s have a threesome with someone famous!Bimbette: With who?Blonde: A Beatle… John Lennon?Bimbette: Duh, he’s in America!Blonde: Duh, he’s dead!Bimbette: Yeah, but he’s still in America.St. Kilda Road
Melbourne, AustraliaOverheard by: Same Cubicle, Different Pair [Link]
Overheard In The Office » He’s Getting Divorced, but Close Enough
Cop: Where’s the chief?Higher-up: He’s out this week. He had surgery on Tuesday.Cop: Oh, yeah, that’s right. I heard he was having a hysterectomy.Higher-up: Um, yeah.Newark, Delaware [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 9AM Only One More Day…
Worker #1: Did you see the sign on the copier?
Worker #2: No, what did it say?
Worker #1: “Don’t Touch Craig”. 175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio [Link]
Overheard In The Office » An Angora Sweater– Why?
Coworker on phone: If your nipples are more than a inch long you really don't want all that excess sticking out.Chico, California [Link]
Overheard In The Office » “Acceptance Of Diversity” Day Takes an Interesting Turn
Server admin: Yay! Malaria!State & Water
Peoria, IllinoisOverheard by: only girl in an office of men… [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And That Cuts Into My Busy Internet Poker Playing Schedule
Angry suit: It’s like I need to come to every meeting if I want to know what’s actually going on!Boylston Street
Boston, MassachusettsOverheard by: At EVERY Meeting [Link]
FMyLife » Fennec says FML
Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this scenic view [Photoshop]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
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