Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Momma said I could be whatever I want when I grew up, so I became a construction worker doctor who robs banks [Amusing]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » …I'm Jewish
Drone #1: Why can't you make it?Drone #2: I can't, Tuesday is my “Mr mom” night, my wife will kill me.Drone #1: Well, is she Jewish?Drone #2: No, she's German. I'm afraid of her.Fairfield, New JerseyOverheard by: Silent Witness [Link]
Fark.com RSS » British police commissioner breaks off radio interview to chase down and arrest a pair of thieves in the street. You don't need to carry a gun to be hardcore (pics) [Cool]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Robin Williams Poets Society [NewsFlash]
[link] [1543 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dear Prudie, My best friend, who's a cross-dresser, dressed in drag to meet my diehard conservative parents at the airport and freaked them out. They just can't let it go. What should I do? [Interesting]
[link] [104 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Gravity Schmavity, yoga teachers need to stop telling women they can't do headstands on their periods [Amusing]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When a diver shouts "OH SHIAT. OH SHIAT… OH SHIAT" while underwater, you bet there's a good reason. w/vid [Cool]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: New Ankle-Bracelet Baby Monitor Predicts Infant’s Mood
A company called Sproutling has introduced a $250 wearable baby monitor that fits around the infant’s ankle and records vital signs like heart rate, skin temperature, and motion to predict when the baby will wake up and what mood he or she will be i… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Media asks, 'Is anywhere safe from lightning strikes?" Don't mean to spoil it for you, but the answer is 'no' [Obvious]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Works of Art Featuring Felines
Russian artist Svetlana Petrova routinely adds a twist to classic paintings by including her orange tabby, Zarathustra. But felines are no strangers to fine art. Here are just a few of the many pieces that feature cats. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here is some BS about how to be happier. Or whatever. I'm too angry to read it right now [Stupid]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Lube and Oil Change?
Coworker discussing photos from a client: We really need some more photos of people being serviced. Ad Agency
Chicago, Illinois Overheard by: Tom [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A fellow passenger trying to get some fresh air falls out of your train. Do you: C) go ahead and finish his beer and take his belongings? [Sad]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Bay" City, Michigan is going to be without water soon as they are losing 10 million gallons of water per day without a trace. If you see a strange puddle in the area please call authorities [Interesting]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 20 years ago, Jacob's Law created national sex offender registries. Today, Jacob's mother would like you to know that these registry laws may be doing more harm than good [Interesting]
[link] [70 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Decades Of Blasts In Middle East Beginning To Expose Earth’s Mantle
Decades Of Blasts In Middle East Beginning To Expose Earth’s Mantle 
[Link]
Overheard In The Office » Well, Not Used Successfully
Engineer on phone: I could try to sell you a penis enlarging pump instead, if you’d like… No, of course it’s not used!Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment's for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket because walking is "too painful". FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Visit Pyongyang! (Via Time-Lapse Tourism Video)
Pyongyang remains mysterious to most Westerners. But thanks to two filmmakers, you can now watch a little over three minutes worth of scenes from the North Korean capital. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police said a sweet potato, yam, cassava, dahlia, and a jicama were shaken up after the "King of America" threatened five tubers [Amusing]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here's how pit bulls would look if they were seen in soft focus, wearing pretty flowers on their heads as they chomped your face off. Ah, so cute, that changes everything [Unlikely]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Prime Minister al-Maliki files complaint against the president for trying to oust him in a coup. Dude, not to bring up the past, but Saddam would've just shot him and not worried about the paperwork [Followup]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Short shorts leads to punch punch [Scary]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Area Man Feels Even Lazier When He Thinks About How Much ISIS Has Accomplished This Year
PEORIA, IL—Saying he was already dissatisfied by how little he’d accomplished, 33-year-old Kevin McDouglas told reporters Monday he felt even lazier when looking at the impressive list of achievements the militant Islamist organization ISIS ha… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hallelujah, it's raining knives [Scary]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two people stuck on scaffolding 21 stories above Manhattan, being charged $3,500 rent [Obvious]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Freddy and the Mystery Machine Crew
So Much For the Old Man Who Runs the Haunted Amusement Park In this artist’s reimagining, the Scooby Doo crew encounters some more much scarier bad guys. * Grab Your Phone Little bits and pieces of Better Call Saul are starting to show up. * Home Hazards Here is golf superstar Rory McIlroy as an 8-year old on an Irish … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Things we can learn from this article: 1) it's possible to remove your fingerprints completely, leaving your fingers as smooth as a baby's butt; 2) police are apparently familiar with fingerprinting baby's butts [Strange]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
The Onion » The Onion Looks Back At 'Dirty Dancing'
The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal looks back at 'Dirty Dancing' in this week's Film Standard. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Texas sheriff says he wants to form a "posse" of unpaid volunteers to help law enforcement and residents in the community. What could possibly go wrong? [Asinine]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Let's go to the abandoned mall where the circus elephant is buried (Warning: Graphic image in article) [Weird]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » welptimetoburntheplacedown says FML
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » First-Person Hyperlapse Videos
Researchers at Microsoft have developed a method to make smooth timelapse video from head-mounted cameras. That sounds kind of boring until you see it in practice, and you get a taste of the technical problems involved. File this one under "Computers are Pretty Amazing." In the first video, the researchers show the differences between the source video (super shaky head-mounted … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Losing power and heat for a day in the middle of winter is annoying. Except when it's at an Antarctic research station, and outside temperatures are hovering at minus 67 degrees Fahrenheit [Cool]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Move over Tony Robbins. Get out of the way Zig Zigler. There's a new motivational speaker in town and his name is…. Bret Michaels? [Interesting]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Protip: Don't use a metal chair to shield yourself from hail during a lightning storm [Obvious]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Gawker Media finds that unmoderated anonymous comments get really graphic, really fast [Obvious]
[link] [244 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Smells That Are Slowly Disappearing
How many of these do you miss? [Link]
The Onion » Area Woman's Type Tall, Athletic Men Who Have Already Hurt Her
SAN FRANCISCO—Pointing out that there are very distinct criteria she looks for in a partner, area woman Christine Maloof told reporters this week that the men she finds attractive tend to be tall, athletic, and have hurt her in the past. 
[Link]
The Onion » George Clooney Enjoys Another Rousing Evening At Home With Mummified Members Of Rat Pack
BEVERLY HILLS, CA—Turning up the volume on his record player while wearing his best sharkskin suit, George Clooney reportedly spent another evening at home Thursday with the mummified members of the Rat Pack. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman sues Yelp in hopes of being paid for her free reviews. Legal analysts give her case three out of five stars [Interesting]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Hospital Comforts Patients With New Therapy Oyster Program
CHICAGO—As part of an effort to provide comfort and serenity to patients, officials at Mount Sinai Hospital have launched a new therapy oyster program that brings hundreds of the bivalve mollusks to the bedsides of those most in need of cheering up. 
[Link]
FMyLife » mcmanager says FML
Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » I know you're worried about ebola and what it could do to you and your family. Luckily for you, homeopathy is on the case [Sick]
[link] [127 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Laundry detergent pods could explode in your child's throat, assuming you were an inattentive enough parent to allow your child to find and swallow a detergent pod [PSA]
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In case you were wondering why people are posting pictures of themselves throwing buckets of ice at each other, it's a fad and will have been completely forgotten about by next Tuesday [PSA]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Good news: cab drivers now need to be well versed in mathematical theories and proper grammar before they're deemed qualified enough to drive you from the bar to your mom's house [Strange]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Awesome Pieces of Movie-Inspired Merch You Can Buy
Movies don't have to end when the credits roll. Help bring their magic to your world with these 11 awesome pieces of merchandise you can own. Just be sure to wash those hobbit socks—the floors of Mordor are filthy. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Even the US' graft market is becoming flooded with Chinese products [Interesting]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » German truck driver convicted of shooting at other motorists 700 times over a five year period without managing to hit even one [Dumbass]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The tractor pulls the rake. The rake pulls the line. The line snaps the pole. The tractor catches fire. Hi, Ho, the dairy, Oh, the farmer in the dell [Dumbass]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The president of Nigeria has announced additional funding to combat Ebola as infection reaches the capital city. Goodluck Jonathan [Scary]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cronut inventor Dominique Ansel makes a new culinary abomination, the pretzel-covered lobster tail. And it looks like a penis [Silly]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Johnny Manziel Forced To Wear Cleveland Browns Jersey In Cruel Rookie Hazing Incident
CLEVELAND—In what many claim is further evidence pointing to the NFL’s growing problem with its locker-room culture, sources confirmed Monday that former Texas A&M quarterback Johnny Manziel was forced to wear a Cleveland Browns jersey as … 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Camera licking marmot is an actual thing and not just an insult about your mother in law [Amusing]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Unquote
“They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.” — Francis Bacon [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of August 11, 2014
The Week In Pictures – Week Of August 11, 2014 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scotland tries to save rare natterjack toads. What's a natterjack? Nothing, and don't call me Jack [Strange]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Arson at UK straw farm leaves 3 pigs worried, 1 wolf intrigued [Obvious]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » What Do You Call That Thing You Drink Water From at School?
Water fountain? Drinking fountain? Bubbler? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » US begins arming the Kurds, making Obama the first US President to not completely fark them over [Cool]
[link] [156 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "The woman who angrily dresses down a man for daring to open the door for her is the Bigfoot of feminism." Here's how to handle her [Interesting]
[link] [369 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Common Words That Will Boost Your Scrabble Score
Use all your tiles at once and get that 50-point bonus with these common words. [Link]
The Onion » Asexually Reproduced Sea Sponge Worried She’s Turning Into Herself
A civilian casualty is flattered to have been mistaken for a Hamas leader, the entirety of a man’s personal data is protected by a reference to the third season of ‘The West Wing’, and an asexually reproduced sea sponge is worried she… 
[Link]
The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: Bum Control
Bum Control 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Turns out the rapture is no excuse for leaving your kid dumber than a bag of rocks [Dumbass]
[link] [116 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Last Week in Weird (August 11, 2014)
Last Week in Weird
datelines 8/1/2014–8/8/2014 (Part II)
[Links, chronological, on Extended page]
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
[Ed. Note: There’s no coding here. I hate to code. However, Links to each story (14 in all) are on the Extended page, in chronological order. Yeah, yeah, I know it’s failing to exploit the blogging technology. Tough.]
The New … [Link]
The Onion » Onion Poll: Should Employers Be Required To Offer Paid Maternity Leave?
The Onion – America's Finest News Source 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » While most of us vacationed at a beach or a theme park this summer, Bill Gates was living it up in his 450-foot long luxury yacht [Asinine]
[link] [232 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Wedding Vows Explicitly Mention Price Of Ceremony
Wedding Vows Explicitly Mention Price Of Ceremony 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » If a dermatologist offers you a new radio-frequency anti-aging treatment on your face for free because he's trying to decide if he should invest in it and wants to test it on you, don't complain if the end result isn't what you were hopin
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Study: Americans Eat Half Their Meals Alone
According to a new market research report, 57 percent of all American meals are eaten alone, due in part to more people living in single-person households and to there being less stigma associated with eating alone. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » BOOM Headshop [Dumbass]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Comedian opens the "Smile, biatch" training camp. Disney considers copyright infringement suit (not safe for work language in video) [Amusing]
[link] [148 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » From God's house to dog house [Repeat]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Vintage Science Charts and Diagrams
Charts and diagrams have long been used to help visualize various aspects of science, and vintage infographics provide a look at what learning was like a hundred years ago. Students could find these charming illustrations in textbooks, classroom posters, and even inside cigarette packs. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » After a night of rioting and looting, St. Louis residents experience a city wide walk of shame [Followup]
[link] [624 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Think Penguins are small, cute, cuddly creatures? Well thousands of years ago, 7-foot tall 250 pounders roamed the Antarctic. Try Happy Feet on THAT one [Interesting]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you think a great way to get your fleeing husband back is by climbing a barbed wire fence and attempt to physically stop the airplane that he's on, it's no wonder he left you [Dumbass]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "That's my boy," said father after his son: A) Hit his first home run, B) Was accepted to Harvard, or C) Held aloft a severed human head [Sick]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: Math Square #228
Please enjoy today's mentalfloss.com Brain Game, Math Square #228: Place the digits 1 through 9 in the white blanks so that the mathematical equations work both across and down. Each digit 1 through 9 should appear only once in the main grid (the red square). 
Here is the SOLUTION. [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: "Works" for Me!
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Tragedy hits Scottish village as star of Burryman festival – some dude dressed in a head-to-toe, skintight suit of burrs while drinking whiskey constantly – has to be rushed to hospital with thorns in his eyes [Interesting]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What do JFK, Colonel Gaddafi and Marlon Brando have in common? [Unlikely]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Ithoughtheywerenormalpeople says FML
Today, as I awoke, the sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, and police sirens were wailing at a drug bust next door. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this alien landscape [Photoshop]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Funeral Potatoes
The dish that most people in America know as potato casserole is referred to by Mormons as "funeral potatoes." Because it's customary for Mormons to serve this potato dish at funerals. The logic, I suppose, is that it's comfort food. Wikipedia says that the typical ingredients of funeral potatoes are: "hash browns or cubed potatoes, cheese (cheddar or Parmesan), onions, … [Link]
Weird Universe » Trisha Brown in “Accumulation”
It's not much of a dance, but Trisha Brown could certainly have had a career as a sign-language interpreter in South Africa.
Oh, yes, recipient of MacArthur "genius grant." [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Essentials to Pack for a Smarter Diving Excursion
Before you jump overboard and start exploring the depths, make sure you’ve packed all the right gear. [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Cow Was Found to Be Negligent
Lawyer #1: I can’t wait to get rid of those cows.Lawyer #2: I thought you liked your cows.Lawyer #1: Well, I did, but then one of them got a little too close and now I have a large bruise on my right thigh.Lawyer #2: You were just too proximate.401 Congress Avenue
Austin, Texas [Link]
Overheard In The Office » When the Boss Gets Your Zygote
Coworker, after conversation with boss: A fetus could come up with better ideas.Melville, New York [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 5PM That’s a Wrap
Co-worker #1: We could stick it to his forehead like this.
Co-worker #2: Try it out before you stick it anywhere; mine’s kinda
sensitive. 2904 Westcorp Boulevard
Huntsville, Alabama Overheard by: Josh Roberson [Link]
Overheard In The Office » And I Suppose You Want a “Medium”? *Sigh*
Woman: Do you still have the coconut mocha…?Starbucks barista, interrupting: Coca mochanut…Woman: Coconut mocha frappuchino?Beaverton, Oregon [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Forgot That We Outsource Our Fraud
Employee: I can’t process this according to your instructions.Boss: Why’s that?Employee: It’s against federal law.Boss: I’ll have someone else do it.Seattle, Washington [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Like “You Knocked Up My Daughter”
CEO: Getting shot’s not so bad… So long as it’s for the right reason.Park Avenue South
New York, New YorkOverheard by: hiding under my desk [Link]
Overheard In The Office » For Some Reason, People Don't Take Us Seriously
Presenter: We're going to go over our organization's strengths and weaknesses now. So, do you want to talk about how much we suck or how much we rock first?Audience member: That's what she said.STAND Conference, Harvard
Cambridge, Massachusetts [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Leave Too Much to the Imagination, and Men Won't Even Try
Frumpy lady to frumpier colleague: Yeah, you really can't look sexy in winter clothes.Sydney
AustraliaOverheard by: GG [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Chinese navy invades US waters [Scary]
[link] [163 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » weirded out says FML
Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » "Works" for Me!
[Link]
Overheard In The Office » Does It Matter That They're Sexual Harassment Complaint Files?
Woman carrying heavy files: I need to go down to the branch and drop this off.
Man: Hello–I can help you carry that.
Woman: Aww! You had me at “hello”!
Man: You had me at “go down”! Melville, New York [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Being arrested for wearing an "extremely realistic penis keyring" on your groin, pretending to pee in taxis, and beating up people at a bar is no way to go through life, son [Dumbass]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Quotes from Celebrities About Their Music Careers
1. Eddie Murphy Thanks to Murphy’s 1985 single “Party All the Time,” it seems no one will let him live down his music career—though many forget how popular the Rick James-produced hit actually was. The song reached #2 on the Billboard Hot 100. Plus, its album, How Could It Be?, made it to #26 on the Billboard 200. Murphy is … [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Seems to Have Misunderstood Geena Davis’s Role in Cutthroat Island
PR agent: He’s greedy, and he’s a pirate, and he’s a whore.350 5th Avenue
New York, New YorkOverheard by: editorial intern/slave [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Doctor Who Trivia
39 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Doctor Who. I loved the story about the fourth Doctor’s knitted scarf.
*
14 Stunning Book Illustrations Brought To Life. The Smithsonian Libraries turned images from past centuries into delightful animated gifs.
*
10 Films That Changed Filmmaking. No, you haven’t seen them all, but you might want to.
*
10 Typographic Art Installations. You … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Parents worried school's new sex ed book might tip kids off to what mom's back massager is really for and why dad always says "pomegranate" in the middle of the night [Asinine]
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Lake Tahoe man captures Bigfoot on video, and this time it looks totally legit (w/video) [Weird]
[link] [107 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Doppelganger Words: The Resemblance is Eerie
These word pairs are identical, but not twins. Like the mythical doppelgangers, they were born at different times and places. As “true homonyms” they’re both homophones (sound alikes) and homographs (look alikes). Some pairs can be traced back to the same ancestor whose meaning diverged as it followed different paths into English. Others are totally unrelated. 1. BARK If you … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "I took a virginity pledge at ten. And it nearly destroyed my life" [Obvious]
[link] [338 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » The Simson Line
Draw any triangle ABC and pick any point P on its circumcircle. The closest points to P on lines AB, BC, and AC will be collinear. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Parents give their son a jump start on having his own superhero lair [Cool]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » All police jurisdictions in the STL area responding to riots and looting in Ferguson, MO, after a protest march turns violent [Followup]
[link] [547 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman breathes life into her bearded dragon. No, that's not a euphemism [Hero]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Mundane Objects That Are Statistically Deadlier Than Sharks
Sharks are often billed as merciless man eaters. Yet, they kill—on average—less than one person every two years in the U.S. [Link]
Mental Floss » 6 Fruits You've Been Eating All Wrong
There's a better way! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man is arrested for choking his girlfriend, pouring hot coffee on her, cutting the back of her leg, threatening to kill her with a knife to her throat and slamming her down on a glass table. All because she cheated on him in a dream [Florida]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Nautical Roots of 11 Common Phrases
Even if you're a landlubber who hasn't even set foot on a paddleboat, you most likely sprinkle your everyday conversation with nautical-inspired phrases. Here are some terms you can thank a sailor for. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Who is in charge in Baghdad? I haven't got a coup [Scary]
[link] [233 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Then My Work Here Is Done
Assistant manager: Maybe I should wear the opposing team's jersey tomorrow.Manager: You will probably get stoned on your way to work.Assistant manager: I probably wouldn't even make it in the front door.Clerk: Not like anyone would notice.British Columbia
Canadia [Link]
Overheard In The Office » 4PM Clean Up Hard Drive
Copy Editor: Hi, [Marco]. You just missed the porn.
Art Director: What?
Copy Editor: I’m serious. There was porn but I just deleted it. Spam. Usually they take out the pictures…
Art Director: Why didn’t I get the porn? 6100 Center Drive
Los Angeles, California [Link]
Overheard In The Office » He Was Like, “How'd You Know??”
Colleague, typing important serious e-mail to client: Ooops! I typed “sorry for any incontinence!”Adelaide
AustraliaOverheard by: PMSL [Link]
Overheard In The Office » A Dinette Set Was Behind Door #2
Woman to friend: I don’t mind telling you — I have just recently accepted Jesus into my life as my personal savior and salvation, and my life has changed so much. I mean, look — I got a Lincoln Continental!Starbucks, 2300 Mendocino Avenue
Santa Rosa, CaliforniaOverheard by: Thankful to God for other reasons [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Amy’s Grandpa Is Also Her Father
Food court employee #1: I think I have a lizard tail growin’ out of my butt!Food court employee #2: Oh, I see it!Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania [Link]
Overheard In The Office » Unlike Donald Trump, Whose Success Is Inversely Proportional to His.
Company president to communications VP, discussing radio interview: My whole performance level is based on my hair.Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, NevadaOverheard by: Sex Writer Goddess [Link]
Overheard In The Office » We Like to Refer to Them As Safety Deposit Squares
Cube rat on phone: Do you have safety deposit boxes? (pause) And how big is your biggest one? (pause) 10 by 10? How deep are those? (pause) But…what's the third dimension? (pause) There is none? Um, okay, thanks anyway. Bye.Washington, DC [Link]
Overheard In The Office » The Doughnut Holes Are Especially Painful
Fat manager: I'm sweating Diet Coke and doughnuts.Charlottesville, Virginia [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Xstream Cleanup volunteers in the Illinois and Iowa Quad-Cities area filled 937 trash bags full of cigarette butts, food wrappers, cans and other items, grabbed 237 tires, 14 appliances, 13 pieces of furniture, 29 televisions and 10 mattresses [Spiff
[link] [83 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The story of pie was a lie [Followup]
[link] [83 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Alabama newspaper posts on Facebook asking for opinions on a privately-funded atheist display. A woman representing the Atheist group says her piece, and she is immediately pounced upon by Christians, who threaten to kill her [Sick]
[link] [377 comments] [Link]
Overheard In The Office » I Will Cease Moving My Mouth and Release This Button Now
Employee over intercom: Stan*, please come to the office for food consumption.Drug store
Wood River, Illinois [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this ugly-ass conniving thief [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
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