Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Not news: Man maced in the face. Fark: Man maced in the face [Scary]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If there's anything that will scare a bear off you when it's mauling you it's a Justin Bieber ringtone. Definitely frightening [Scary]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Large garrison of Wehrmacht troops headed by rail to Dusseldorf. Expected to arr……." *FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP* "…arrive in station in two days" [Strange]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Humans discover, accidentally kill, previously unknown species of dolphin [Stupid]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML [Link]
FMyLife » donutsex says FML
Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » At least six people have been tested for Ebola just in New York City. And CNN's Sanjay Gupta says they are not being kept in isolation: "This isn't the kind of thing that they worry about spreading to other patients in the hospital" [
[link] [204 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Open Carry Gun Law Advocates Release Children’s Book
Pro-gun advocates have released a children’s picture book called My Parents Open Carry about a 13-year-old girl named Brenna Strong, whose parents openly carry guns for self-defense, which the authors say aims to educate people on Second Amen… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » The City of Seattle is trying to confuse its residents about rates for the three available parking spots in the city [Obvious]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cool: Archeology museum excavates 6,500 year old skeleton. Fark: from a closet full of forgotten junk in the museum [Amusing]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: The Best Coming-of-Age Films
Quite A Journey These are the 25 best coming-of-age tales in film history. * Is This the Future? Scientists are starting to use see-through mice for experiments. The picture of these things will weird you out. * Turning Back the Clock National Geographic revisits tiger hunting in the 1920s. * Embrace the Corny These jokes are awful and hokey and … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not News: Bar sued for discrimination for not letting a gay guy in. Fark: A gay bar [Dumbass]
[link] [116 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you thought you couldn't afford to live in New York City, wait until you see how much it costs to die there [Obvious]
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: Tips For Achieving Peace In The Middle East
With the Israeli-Palestinian conflict escalating, sectarian violence boiling over in Iraq, and Syria mired in a civil war that’s now more than three years old, the Middle East continues to be plagued by bloodshed and unrest. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sanctions cause one of Russia's largest tourism companies to fail leaving nearly 27,000 Russians stranded abroad with no return tickets home. Either that or Putin has commenced a VERY stealthy invasion of Europe [Interesting]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Florida man with a badge fired for taunting inmates with french fries and threatening to Tase them [Florida]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: Keeping Your Child Safe Online
Polls indicate that 95 percent of teenagers are online, while a growing number of young children now have access to internet-capable cell phones and devices. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this rosy walk [Photoshop]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Researchers now say that sex education should start at the age of 10, rather than waiting until after they're pregnant at 13 [Interesting]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Homosexuality Only Thing Parents Can Accept About Son
GRAND FORKS, ND—Expressing their deep disappointment with his behavior and lifestyle, local parents Jeff and Susan Lindegaard told reporters Tuesday that they are simply unable to accept anything about their 24-year-old son Henry aside from his homo… 
[Link]
Mental Floss » Average Internet Speed by State
Where does your state rank? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Solomon Islander who rescued JFK after his PT boat sank in WWII dies at age 93; always wondered whatever became of that nice young kid he pulled out of the drink [Followup]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » While the United States still struggles with parking and taxis, Finland is creating a smartphone app-based transportation exchange of the future which aims to eliminate the need for car ownership altogether [Spiffy]
[link] [130 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 11 Electronic Musicians Who Are Collaborating With Their Fans in Unique Ways
Thanks to the Internet and social media, the world is more connected than ever. As a result, fans have more access to their favorite musicians and can even have a direct influence on the music produced. Here are 11 musicians who worked with their fans. 1. Knife Party When the Australian duo Knife Party had an upcoming set at the … [Link]
The Onion » Opinion: If The Founding Fathers Were Alive Today, They’d Be Too Fascinated By A Garbage Disposal To Do Anything (by Charles Bowman)
By Charles Bowman 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » If I had a dollar for every time I crashed my car into a firehouse while driving with a snake wrapped around my neck… [Weird]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Army. Marines. Army. Marines. Army. Marines. Army. Marines. Army. Marines. Army. Marines. Army. Marines. Army. Marines. Army. Marines. Army. Marines. Army. Marines. Army. Marines. Army [Dumbass]
[link] [135 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientists discover Sriracha tastes good on everything, still no cure for, oh wait a sec [Spiffy]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fed up with lagging behind the rest of Asia, China bravely steps up to face Japan in the 'weird shiat involving panties' challenge [Strange]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dunkin' Donuts releasing coffee-flavored donuts [Hero]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » US General specifically assassinated in Afghanistan [NewsFlash]
[link] [275 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » That awkward moment when your anti-marijuana ad accidentally promotes pot legalization [Fail]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Seventh-Grader Only Has 2 Weeks Left To Acquire Cool Identity By First Day Of School
VALPARAISO, IN—Expressing concern that his summer vacation is too quickly passing him by, local incoming seventh-grader Matthew Valentine told reporters Tuesday he now has just two weeks left in which to acquire a cool new identity before school sta… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pro-gun picture book 'My Parents Open Carry' named "probably the worst children's book of all time' [Scary]
[link] [152 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man gets robbed in a rural field outside of Casper, Wyoming and is shocked, SHOCKED that guy he just met at a bar didn't really know where the cool "after-party" was [Dumbass]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The terrifying ordeal of an ordinary father traveling with his daughter [Asinine]
[link] [113 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » The Right Foot
Letter from Lewis Carroll to Adelaide Paine, March 8, 1880: My dear Ada, — (Isn’t that your short name? ‘Adelaide’ is all very well, but you see when one’s dreadfully busy one hasn’t time to write such long words — particularly when it takes one half an hour to remember how to spell it — and even then one has … [Link]
The Onion » Wife Already Knows The One Thing She’ll Say That Can Never Be Taken Back
OCALA, FL—Acknowledging that she has the ability to forever change the dynamic of her marriage with only a few simple words, area wife Sarah Causley told reporters Tuesday that she already knows the single comment she will never be able to take back… 
[Link]
Mental Floss » A Brief History of the Road
From ancient mud bricks to salty beet juice, roads have a long, winding history—and a glowing future. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » After cutting about 60% of its work force over the past three years, BlackBerry says it's now a thing again, and is ready to go head-to-head with the iPhone 4 [Unlikely]
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Confused Cats Against Feminism has made its way to the internet. C'mon, cats aren't against feminism, they're against all of humanity equally [Amusing]
[link] [426 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 35 People You Might Not Realize Appeared on 'The West Wing'
Politics makes strange bedfellows, and dozens of great cameos. [Link]
Mental Floss » Animal Kingdom Kleptos: 7 Species That Steal
Humanity, you’re not alone in harboring a criminal element. [Link]
Weird Universe » John Glenn’s Fireflies
Did pioneer astronaut John Glenn see aliens?
Not likely. [Link]
Mental Floss » Hunger Games Character or Poisonous Plant?
It’s no secret that author Suzanne Collins drew some inspiration for character names from the greenhouse. Katniss, Primrose, and Hawthorne are all things you might find growing outside – though maybe not in District 12. Are you enough of a Hunger Games fan to separate fact from fiction? May the odds be ever in your favor. [Link]
The Onion » Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 5, 2014
VIRGO: You will die alone, unmourned, and unloved, but because you do it on live television, you'll still manage to be considered a success. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » 9 Poems Penned by Presidents
These presidents were more than just politicians—they also tried their hands at poetry. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You may be a god, but you still can't swipe the Raisinets [Florida]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What if you could only buy guns in two places in Alabama, which are surrounded by protestors who sometimes kill dealers, and you have to learn about the links between firearms and cancer before buying? [Ironic]
[link] [437 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "This is a Japanese sport called Bo-Taoshi. Remember that game you played in grade school where a kid would stand on top of a mound of snow or dirt and everyone else would try to push him off? It's basically that, except with more flying jump
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » ihatespiders says FML
Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: The Abridged Brain Game
Today's mentalfloss.com Tuesday Test Time Brain Game asks you to break down an eight-letter word, one letter at a time, forming new words along the way. Are you up to the challenge? By removing one letter from the mix at each step,
and rearranging the remaining letters to form new words,
reduce the word "ABRIDGES" to the letter "E." A B … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Assault with a dead(ly) weapon? Two women, ages 47 and 64, attacked each other with the taxidermied head of an antlered deer [Weird]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dear Prudence: Should I let my husband marry his dead fiancée's ghost? [Silly]
[link] [72 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In latest proof that English no longer speak it: "Balls in court for pranging fellow driver" [Weird]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Study: Human Culture Evolved As Testosterone Levels Fell
According to new research, the development of modern arts and advanced tools arose in human culture about 50,000 years ago, at the same time as levels of testosterone—the hormone linked to macho, aggressive behavior—began decreasing in humans. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » New online digital atlas of the Holy Roman Empire lets you explore why it wasn't Holy, Roman or an Empire [Interesting]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How to be a hipster at Northwestern University. Based on the photos, it's about as easy as being a vegan in Texas [Ironic]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here's a list of things KFC has fried up and served to customers. Chicken hasn't been on the list since the 1990s, however [Sick]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's like fiiiiiiiiiiiiire, at your own firehouse [Ironic]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Watch that tongue dude. Man charged with violating 'French Kiss' law [Strange]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Harley Davidson on Sunday drive crashes into '68 Ford Mustang in what police are calling the "most midlife crisis collision" ever [Misc]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Protip: If you're a border patrol agent inquiring about someone's citizenship and their response is "Does it really matter?", don't reply with "Not anymore." Why? Because they just might have a hidden camera [Fail]
[link] [116 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Americans show their compassion for Ebola victims in the only way they can: threatening emails to receiving hospitals [Obvious]
[link] [161 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Suck It Up!
[Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Incredible Ways Electronic Artists Are Using Found Sound
"Found sound," or sampling, is when a musician finds a recording or something that makes noise and adopts it into their music. It can be anything from an old song to the sound of someone taking a bite out of an apple. Since the options are limitless, some artists have found some incredibly creative sounds to create music with. Electronic … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Texas woman looks a little drained after setting a Guiness World Record by donate over 400 gallons of breast milk [Hero]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Thai junta bans computer game that allows players to run their own fictional dictatorship because "some parts of stories within the game affect Thailand's situation" [Obvious]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Creepy pics of Russia's crumbling communist architecture give us a glimpse at what Detroit could have been [Interesting]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » $omehow, the red-light cameras in Chicago are churning out thousands of faulty tickets; city officials say they have no knowledge of what's wrong and are shocked and offended at the implication that there might be corruption in Chicago [Unlikely]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » We'll let this tagline speak for itself: "A farmer from Kansas has found a novel way of entertaining his cows – by serenading them with his trombone" (vid) [Interesting]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A majority of Americans disapprove of their own member of Congress, would rather see demon spawn of Fidel Castro and members of Nickelback run the country [Obvious]
[link] [145 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ebola serum's secret ingredient: Kentucky tobacco [Followup]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Where Did The Ampersand Symbol Come From?
The symbol we know as the ampersand first appeared in some graffiti on a Pompeian wall around the first century A.D. It wasn't called an "ampersand" at the time—it was just a ligature of the cursive letters “E” and “T” forming the Latin word et, which means “and.” (This is why "etc." is sometimes written "&c".) At first, & had … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my brother decided our bathroom needed a clock so he used an old DVD player. He put it on the edge of the tub. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Apparently" live news interviews will never be the same after this kid and his catch phrase [Video]
[link] [103 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Neuroscientist who entered Phoenix airport and pointed a loaded gun at a woman and her teen daughter was merely making a political statement, nothing more [Dumbass]
[link] [162 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this tire tester [Photoshop]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Representative Todd Rokita(R-IN) is first to link Ebola to Central American refugees based on likelihood of morons believing it and blaming 0bama [Dumbass]
[link] [422 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Creating Voices for Chewbacca and R2-D2
Ben Burtt was the sound designer for Star Wars, and he came up with all kinds of now-iconic sounds. In the video below, he explains the arduous process of giving a voice to Chewbacca. Burtt: "It's a voice which is manufactured completely out of animal sounds, principally bears." Have a listen (note that, ironically, the sound on this video is … [Link]
Mental Floss » Suck It Up!
[Link]
FMyLife » fractured says FML
Today, on a flight, I needed to use the restroom. The passenger next to me was in a deep sleep, and was very large, so I couldn't get out by climbing over him. The urge got severe, so I resorted to tapping him on the shoulder. Turns out he had some nice reflexes and hit me in the face. FML [Link]
Weird Universe » Latin Valediction
Back in 1978, Lidia Mostovy was chosen to deliver the valedictory address at the 99th commencement of Frank H. Morrell High School, so she decided to give it in Latin. Her speech began: "Olim Alexander Magnus dixit: 'Meis parentibus vitam debeo, meis magistris, vitam bonam.'"
She explained that she "wanted to add dignity to the graduation exercises and… draw attention … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hey Ukraine, are you TRYING to start a direct war with Russia? [Fail]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » ms98 says FML
Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Got an hour to kill? Three DJs painstakingly remix Paul's Boutique from scratch, using over 150 tracks of the original sample material. Rope. A. Dope [Audio]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » motherlover says FML
Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Massive fire breaks out at recycling plant in London, filling the area with second-hand smoke [Interesting]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: New York in Slow Motion
New York City streets in the summer can be sweaty and smelly. But they are also full of vibrancy and life that filmmaker Tim Sessler captures in this wordless, slow-motion video. * For nostalgic feline owners and fans of Boyhood, Cathood is the perfect parody video you'll wish they would turn into a feature film. * A baseball-team hate map … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Good news, everybody. A slab of cheesecake does not actually require 4 1/2 hours of aerobic exercise to work off. So get on out there and eat, eat, EAT [Spiffy]
[link] [86 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Upside, the airline didn't lose your luggage. Downside, the luggage compartment was infested with maggots. (Bonus: No motherfarking Snakes on a Plane joke) [Sick]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Introducing a new American hero: James Taylor, a kid who threw a party in western Michigan that drew over 2,000 people and gives zero farks about the consequences saying he's going to do it again (w/video) [Amusing]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Afghan princess fights to keep her $390 a month three level apartment on the upper east side of Manhattan. No, that's not a typo. She's a real princess [Unlikely]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Naked, intoxicated, masturbating man falls into river, has to be rescued by police [Amusing]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It has been 3,200 days since a hurricane has made landfall in Florida [Unlikely]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photographer captures massive gator fight on film. Burt Reynolds unavailable for comment [Florida]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Q.E.D.
Clement Vallandigham accidentally shot himself demonstrating how one might accidentally shoot oneself. The Ohio lawyer was representing a defendant accused of killing a man in a barroom brawl. Vallandigham wanted to show that the victim might have shot himself while trying to draw his pistol from a kneeling position. “I’ll show you how Tom Myers shot himself,” he said to … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend…" FML [Link]
FMyLife » notthenaughtymaid says FML
Today, I posted an ad online for house cleaning services. So far, all fifteen responses have been solicitations for sex. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pennsylvania man writes his own obituary, goes out with a laugh "at room temperature" [Amusing]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Good news for all Farkers out there with blossoming rap careers, as judge says your violent lyrics cannot be used as evidence against you in your first murder trial. Still no word from the bench about your Fark headlines though [Interesting]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You no longer have to be an evil Bond villain to live inside an active volcano on a remote island [Cool]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Gun safety tip: There are many safe ways to check if your shotgun is empty. Pointing the barrel at your cheek and pulling the trigger is not one of them [Dumbass]
[link] [155 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hypothermic man on life raft undecided about the heat coming off his burning boat [Scary]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » What Causes Eye Floaters?
Eye floaters — or muscae volitantes, Latin for “hovering flies" — are those tiny, oddly shaped objects that sometimes appear in your vision, most often when you’re looking at the sky on a sunny day. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So helping. Much sales. Wow [Silly]
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not news: Woman with "an overwhelming odor of alcoholic beverage emanating from her person" tries to steal a car. News: It was a cop car. Fark: …with cops still in it [Dumbass]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Six-year-old autistic boy drives his toy car onto the Bronx River Parkway, is immediately spotted since he was driving far better than anybody else on the Bronx River Parkway [Obvious]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » WWI Centennial: Britain Declares War on Germany
The First World War was an unprecedented catastrophe that shaped our modern world. Erik Sass is covering the events of the war exactly 100 years after they happened. This is the 137th installment in the series. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these chanceless catchers [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
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