Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Cruise line: Do you want traveler's insurance? Family: No. Cruise line: Are you sure? It's $4,000, no refunds without it. Family: We're sure. Cruise line: OK, here's your tickets. Family, two weeks before cruise: OMG WHY WON'T YOU

Sunday 27 July 23:58:23 UTC 2014

[link] [175 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » News of the Weird (July 27, 2014)

Sunday 27 July 23:43:38 UTC 2014

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M381, July 27, 2014
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

Modern Warfare: The leader of the devout-Sunni jihadist group ISIS, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, making a rare, solemn appearance in July, wore a flashy silver wristwatch that various video analysts described as either a Rolex or an Omega Seafarer or a feature-laded Saudi … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mexican immigrant with drug-resistant strain of TB goes missing in California. Granted, he's been missing since March, but don't let that get in the way of your terrified outrage [Stupid]

Sunday 27 July 22:23:26 UTC 2014

[link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Naked blue smurfs in Times Square with NOT SAFE FOR WORK pictures of said naked blue smurfs [Amusing]

Sunday 27 July 22:14:53 UTC 2014

[link] [123 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Yeppets says FML

Sunday 27 July 22:09:19 UTC 2014

Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 27 July 22:09:18 UTC 2014

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sure our fertilizer plant blew up but hey it's not our fault people died because you have poorly-trained first responders [Asinine]

Sunday 27 July 22:05:29 UTC 2014

[link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pot appears to slow tumor growth in study. But Denver has more homeless since pot was legalized, so we can ignore the study [Interesting]

Sunday 27 July 21:59:16 UTC 2014

[link] [108 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Juggalos are breeding like magnets [Scary]

Sunday 27 July 21:36:19 UTC 2014

[link] [125 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Repeal Prohibition, again [Obvious]

Sunday 27 July 21:06:13 UTC 2014

[link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's time once again for your updated Weekend Chicago Shooting Tracker, and things were relatively quiet this weekend, with only nineteen people getting shot, though once again a child was the victim of indiscriminate gang violence in Chiraq [Fol

Sunday 27 July 20:19:00 UTC 2014

[link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hurt yourself while breaking into someone's home? Feel free to sue as much as you want. Judge boinks your ex-wife while presiding over your child support case and you want to sue? Denied [Asinine]

Sunday 27 July 20:15:18 UTC 2014

[link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ♫ Spider Man, Spider Man, punched a cop and then he ran ♫ [Strange]

Sunday 27 July 20:14:05 UTC 2014

[link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's an "apocalyptic" collection of abandoned trains rusting away in a North Carolina forest, and this photographer will take you there [Cool]

Sunday 27 July 20:04:55 UTC 2014

[link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Invitational for classic Farkers (5 year members or longer). Submit one of your favorite Photoshop posts from 2009 or earlier [Photoshop]

Sunday 27 July 20:00:01 UTC 2014

[link] [126 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » fingwhore says FML

Sunday 27 July 19:16:59 UTC 2014

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 27 July 19:16:58 UTC 2014

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML [Link]

FMyLife » … says FML

Sunday 27 July 19:16:57 UTC 2014

Today, I found my 6 year old daughter upstairs lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving "the carpet a haircut." FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "No Irish Drunks" sign removed from bar after protest. To be replaced with "No Fat Americans" [Asinine]

Sunday 27 July 19:11:09 UTC 2014

[link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you were planning a trip abroad, it might be wise to see where you, as an American, would be welcomed and not welcomed. Here's a handy little list [Interesting]

Sunday 27 July 18:50:00 UTC 2014

[link] [180 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man makes bomb threats on plane because cigarettes were cheaper on the plane than back at the airport [Dumbass]

Sunday 27 July 18:31:35 UTC 2014

[link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The good news is that you probably don't have celiac disease. The bad news is you're a hypochondriac [Obvious]

Sunday 27 July 17:06:49 UTC 2014

[link] [173 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Officials in Sierra Leone confirm they have taken custody of the woman whose family kidnapped her from a hospital and exposed millions to the Ebola virus. The woman died after the faith healer her family sent her to couldn't cure her [Followup]

Sunday 27 July 16:47:58 UTC 2014

[link] [199 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Are You Serious?

Sunday 27 July 14:47:23 UTC 2014

Homosexuals are possessed by putrid smelling demons according to Holy Fire Ministries founder Burt Farias. These demons are so foul smelling that other demons stay away from them and pigs prefer death to possession. Where do these people come from? Second source article here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "There are as many atheisms as there are gods" [Interesting]

Sunday 27 July 14:43:37 UTC 2014

[link] [331 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sometimes, when you're riding your motorcycle, you just need to stop and stretch your legs. In the middle of traffic on a busy highway off-ramp is probably not the optimal place to do it, however. Especially if your BAC is 2.5 times the legal lim

Sunday 27 July 14:39:33 UTC 2014

[link] [35 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Tokyo Compression

Sunday 27 July 14:38:55 UTC 2014

Photographer Michael Wolf took a series of photos he calls "Tokyo Compression" showing commuters in the Tokyo subway during rush hour.

The Southern California version of this would be thousands of people sitting alone in cars on the freeway, going nowhere.

[via World's Best Ever] [Link]

Mental Floss » What the "Word Crimes" Animator Did Before "Word Crimes"

Sunday 27 July 14:36:46 UTC 2014

Before making Weird Al's instant-classic "Word Crimes" video, artist/programmer/musician Jarrett Heather dabbled in kinetic typography on a volunteer basis. Back in 2010, Heather released an incredible fan video for Jonathan Coulton's song "Shop Vac," reportedly spending one thousand hours putting it together. The effort shows, and it got him the Weird Al gig. Have a look: Heather wrote an extensive … [Link]

Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Astronaut Potato Salad

Sunday 27 July 14:00:00 UTC 2014

A determined teen with dreams of space exploration is trying to cash in on Kickstarter's apparent love for potato salad to fund his quest to become the first Tanzanian astronaut. Give any amount, and he promises to "wish on the stars for your life to turn out awesome." * There's one glaring flaw with these Tetris-themed tator tots: where's the … [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 27 July 13:31:36 UTC 2014

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 27 July 13:31:35 UTC 2014

Today, I woke up from a horrible nightmare. What was it about? Me accidentally scratching a non-stick pan with my utility knife. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lack of sleep may lead to increase in risk of false memories, though subby swears the jello-wrestling bout with Scarlett Johansson and Olivia Wilde really happened, pinkie swear [Interesting]

Sunday 27 July 13:28:19 UTC 2014

[link] [53 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Soapy the Germ Fighter

Sunday 27 July 13:10:19 UTC 2014

"Why…you're a living cake of soap!"
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Theme: Terrible breakfast cereals [Photoshop]

Sunday 27 July 13:00:01 UTC 2014

[link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Walmart: Our ice cream sandwiches don't melt … even after sitting out for 12 hours in the sun [Scary]

Sunday 27 July 11:26:25 UTC 2014

[link] [303 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boston taxi driver refuses to break traffic laws [Ironic]

Sunday 27 July 6:54:23 UTC 2014

[link] [37 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Shadow Play

Sunday 27 July 6:33:00 UTC 2014

Artists Tim Noble and Sue Webster find self-portraits in arrangements of domestic trash. Their Dirty White Trash (with Gulls) (1998, right) was contrived from the six months’ rubbish they produced while making it, a sculpture produced by the residue of its own composition. More shadow art: Shigeo Fukuda, Larry Kagan, Richard Haas. Somewhat related: Last year travelers from Washington state … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you leave your kid home alone, you get in trouble. If you leave your kid in a locked car, you get in trouble. So sometimes you're forced to take your kid with you when you go out to sell some drugs. "He doesn't know what's going on

Sunday 27 July 6:02:39 UTC 2014

[link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Best Korea continues fight against the imperial dog of the sea [Interesting]

Sunday 27 July 5:53:26 UTC 2014

[link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Survivor of the USS Indianapolis sinking describes floating in the ocean for days waiting to be rescued and it's even more terrifying than Quint's tale in 'Jaws.' "The body would go under, and then that life vest popped back up&#3

Sunday 27 July 5:27:34 UTC 2014

[link] [121 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Coming up at the top of the hour from Juneau, Alaska, it's once again time for Livingston Stapler Company Presents. 2 hours of live music hosted by a farker [Spiffy]

Sunday 27 July 4:58:27 UTC 2014

[link] [300 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Amazing Iceberg Collapse Caught on Camera

Sunday 27 July 4:51:30 UTC 2014

"Run, Rick, go — goooooo!" [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thanks to all the botched executions in America recently, the concept of the firing squad has never been more popular [Interesting]

Sunday 27 July 3:40:31 UTC 2014

[link] [244 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fire destroys bloodmobile; blood bank trying to B positive about it [Amusing]

Sunday 27 July 3:14:04 UTC 2014

[link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What's worse than having a stroke? Having a stroke in your bathroom and having to drink toilet water for a week before someone finds you [Sad]

Sunday 27 July 2:47:09 UTC 2014

[link] [57 comments] [Link]

John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons