John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » This guy made a fully automatic fireworks gun — and it's awesome [Hero]

Thursday 10 July 23:27:29 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Argument in Tombstone leads to fatal shooting. This is not a repeat from 1881 [Obvious]

Thursday 10 July 22:58:09 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » As the Makers of the "Yo" app like to point out the word "Yo" can have a myriad of meanings depending on the context. For example, if you receive a "Yo" in Israel, it means "Run like hell, there are bombs headed your way&#

Thursday 10 July 22:44:57 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman stops to take photo of a sweet little deer hanging out in front of a liquor store and fails to notice its scabby little head and the cute green foam frothing from its mouth [Dumbass]

Thursday 10 July 22:43:19 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Climate change brings more foreign words to America, as Haboob makes way for Jökulhlaup; the sudden release of water from a melting glacier which floods your town [Interesting]

Thursday 10 July 22:42:31 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Naked couple caught having sex on a busy sidewalk under a cross outside an Oklahoma City church. (with hmm, I guess there really is someone for everyone mugshots) [Amusing]

Thursday 10 July 22:38:25 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This just in: People think their dogs are a lot smarter than they really are [Obvious]

Thursday 10 July 22:34:59 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman on heroin makes pit stop to do naked yoga in middle of road, or as it's known in Florida, Wednesday [Florida]

Thursday 10 July 22:31:21 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Berkeley to give free weed to the poor, because if anyone needs to get high, it's the poor [Interesting]

Thursday 10 July 22:21:09 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [64 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Cat Monuments

Thursday 10 July 22:18:17 UTC 2014

In my backyard, there’s a fairly large concrete slab, painted blue with the word “Biscuit” lovingly written in gold paint. I have to move that heavy rock twice every time I mow, but it means a lot to a young girl who buried her cat underneath. My daughter’s memorial to a beloved pet isn’t out of the ordinary. There are … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yet more evidence for global warming as the midwest will see record lows next week due to "poor man's polar vortex" [Interesting]

Thursday 10 July 22:12:33 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » French police foil plot to blow up the Eiffel Tower. Unfortunately, they weren't in time to stop filming of the G.I. Joe movie [Scary]

Thursday 10 July 22:10:58 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ISIS, who may not be real clear on the concept of "not biting off more than you can chew" have started offensive operations against the Kurds. You know – the guys who fought Turkey and Saddam simultaneously for 3 decades and won [Fail]

Thursday 10 July 22:05:23 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Origins Of 10 Popular Prohibition Cocktails

Thursday 10 July 22:00:00 UTC 2014

For some added class during happy hours, impress your friends with the history that lies behind what you choose to imbibe. The great heyday for creative cocktails was Prohibition, the 13-year span (1920-1933) where the allure of outlaw liquor inspired waves of colorful concoctions that offered glamour and, above all, good taste. 1. GIN RICKEY This chill cocktail is made … [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 10 July 21:58:36 UTC 2014

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Having solved all other problems, city of Houston sues elderly, disabled couple for having too many garage sales [Asinine]

Thursday 10 July 21:40:05 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Douche who sucker-punched a dog walker and put him in the hospital in Midtown Manhattan caught in Jersey after chase (w/pic of said douche) [Followup]

Thursday 10 July 21:35:49 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Food Thread: What's the first thing you think of as a favorite food from growing up? Special treats or meals that you look back fondly on… it's nostalgia time. Show us your happy food memories [Interesting]

Thursday 10 July 21:00:09 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [294 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Judge: Insane Clown Posse Juggalos Can Be Classified As Gang

Thursday 10 July 21:00:00 UTC 2014

A federal judge has thrown out a lawsuit brought by fans of the rap-rock group Insane Clown Posse that alleged being listed in a 2011 FBI report on gangs has led to unfair targeting by police, finding that the federal government was not responsible for…
[Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Weird Swimming-Related Patents

Thursday 10 July 21:00:00 UTC 2014

Can you imagine seeing any of these at your local pool or beach? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Doctors say that Justin Beiber could save lives, presumably as an experimental animal [Cool]

Thursday 10 July 20:56:54 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Officials say Yellowstone Park will not erupt anytime soon, but tourists should try to avoid the sections of road which are currently melting [Amusing]

Thursday 10 July 20:54:10 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: The Best Sports Movie Villains

Thursday 10 July 20:30:00 UTC 2014

Taste of Cinema Give ‘Em A Body Bag Who is the greatest sports movie villain of all time? * Ride the Rails This common warehouse pallet was converted into a one-man train track-riding transportation device. * All of the Stuff That Will Lose to Breaking Bad Also known as the Emmy nominations. Whatever you call them, they’re here—and internet shows … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Interested in a ventriloquism show? No? What if I told you that the ventriloquist was a former stripper? Still no? What about the part where she has sex with the dummy? [Weird]

Thursday 10 July 20:21:11 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So, does anybody have plans for the July 12 Los Angeles earthquake? [Unlikely]

Thursday 10 July 20:11:38 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Pothole Barbie and friends [Photoshop]

Thursday 10 July 20:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Retiree without school-aged children doesn't want to pay school taxes. I have a job and don't want to pay Social Security taxes [Asinine]

Thursday 10 July 19:56:08 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [227 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Silly phishing scammers, Virginia EZPass isn't advanced enough for online billing [Interesting]

Thursday 10 July 19:30:26 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Airplane crashes into American Paint & Body Collision Center in Titusville. Does anyone have Alanis Morissette on speed-dial? [Florida]

Thursday 10 July 19:19:54 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here we have the dirtiest people in the state of Michigan [Amusing]

Thursday 10 July 19:05:28 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [44 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Man Confused By Compliment From Person Whose Career He Can’t Help

Thursday 10 July 19:00:00 UTC 2014

QUINCY, MA—Local man Alex Heard told reporters Thursday that he was thoroughly confused after receiving a compliment from an acquaintance despite the fact that he could in no way advance this individual’s career or assist him professionally wh…
[Link]

The Onion » Man Failing To Heed Harsh Lessons Of Past Orders Sonic Bacon Cheeseburger Toaster

Thursday 10 July 19:00:00 UTC 2014

BARTLETT, IL—Turning his back on the opportunity to learn from countless erstwhile mistakes, 29-year-old resident Jason Connolly reportedly failed to heed the many harsh lessons of the past Thursday and instead opted to order a Bacon Cheeseburger To…
[Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Music Videos Filmed In One Shot

Thursday 10 July 19:00:00 UTC 2014

When a musical act and a director feel like doing something really challenging, they make a music video in a single take. [Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » So, I had a call with Elon Musk earlier this week

Thursday 10 July 18:28:00 UTC 2014

So, I had a call with Elon Musk earlier this weekAn update about the Tesla Museum.View [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Community experiment' which planned to drop a piano off a 26-storey apartment block stopped at the last minute by scared locals who called it 'utterly stupid' [Dumbass]

Thursday 10 July 18:24:39 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Joint Resolution

Thursday 10 July 18:23:01 UTC 2014

From a letter from George Patton to his son, written on D-Day: At 0700 this morning the BBC announced that the German radio had just come out with an announcement of the landing of Allied paratroops and of large numbers of assault craft near shore. So that is it. … All men are timid on entering any fight whether it … [Link]

FMyLife » oh my fucking god says FML

Thursday 10 July 18:17:41 UTC 2014

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML [Link]

The Onion » NFL Releases New Study On Dangers Of Concussions In Youth Soccer

Thursday 10 July 18:15:00 UTC 2014

NEW YORK—Stressing a responsibility to educate the public on the risks involved with participating in the sport, the NFL released a groundbreaking new study Thursday revealing the high risk of concussions in youth soccer.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good news: Jesse Jackson says he can put an end to the violence in Chicago, and it's only going to cost $2 billion [Unlikely]

Thursday 10 July 18:13:31 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [210 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption Pres. Obama horsing around [Caption]

Thursday 10 July 18:00:01 UTC 2014

Caption [link] [58 comments] [Link]

The Onion »  The Onion Reviews 'Dawn of the Planet of the Apes'

Thursday 10 July 18:00:00 UTC 2014

The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal reviews 'Dawn of the Planet of the Apes' in this week's Film Standard.
[Link]

The Onion » Man Who Watched Most Of World Cup Match Knows Exactly How To Fix U.S. Team

Thursday 10 July 18:00:00 UTC 2014

ROANOKE, VA—Explaining precisely what the national team must do in order to compete with the sport’s global superpowers, local 39-year-old David Bower, who watched most of a single World Cup match over the last month, revealed Wednesday that h…
[Link]

Mental Floss » Armchair Field Trip: The Louisville Slugger Museum and Factory

Thursday 10 July 18:00:00 UTC 2014

You may not know the names “Hillerich and Bradsby,” but you almost certainly know their most famous product—the Louisville Slugger. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » China thinks that IF it even came down to it, ya know not that they think it ever would or anything, but IF it did, they're pretty sure they can take the US in a fight [Unlikely]

Thursday 10 July 17:53:45 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [216 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not content with the chaos and destruction in Iraq and Syria, Israel decides to light Palestine on fire for good measure [Followup]

Thursday 10 July 17:47:20 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [313 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Emo cat seeks to replace Grumpy Cat for all your kitten-based memes [Amusing]

Thursday 10 July 17:47:04 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » These Companies Own All the Food Brands

Thursday 10 July 17:26:49 UTC 2014

These 10 mega-companies own much of what you'll find in your local supermarket. [Link]

Mental Floss » Jerry Seinfeld Explains a Joke

Thursday 10 July 17:20:53 UTC 2014

Jerry Seinfeld, on the conclusion of his Pop-Tarts joke: "I know it sounds like nothing. And it is nothing. You know, in my world, the wronger something feels, the righter it is. So to waste this much time on something this stupid is…that felt good to me." Here's five minutes of Seinfeld explaining how he puts together a bit. While … [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Cat Sigh

Thursday 10 July 17:20:19 UTC 2014

Here's today's mentalfloss.com "Throwback" Think Thursday Brain Game, from about four years ago: Here are eight movie titles rendered "Mad Gab" style. Reciting them out loud will give you a similar sound to the original titles, and it's your job to decipher them. All these films were released in the same year, so try to identify it as well, once … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your food probably contains delicious, tasty wood pulp [Sick]

Thursday 10 July 17:20:13 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Doctors are universally refusing to see Obamacare patients, which explains why two-thirds of the newly insured say they could get an appointment within two weeks [Obvious]

Thursday 10 July 17:20:03 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [235 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Statshot: Why Are We Waiting To Have Children?

Thursday 10 July 17:20:00 UTC 2014

Why Are We Waiting To Have Children?
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » What are history's worst typos? And just what did The Count from Sesame Street do to make that newspaper copy writer so angry? [Amusing]

Thursday 10 July 17:09:18 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fox's "Doctor" Keith Ablow says legalized same-sex marriage rights will lead to 'three humans and a dog' marriage, and perhaps even worse, another movie starring Ted Danson, Tom Selleck, and Steve Gutenberg [Dumbass]

Thursday 10 July 17:06:48 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [186 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Nikola Tesla Quotes for His Birthday

Thursday 10 July 17:06:45 UTC 2014

The greatest geek who ever lived was born 160 years ago today. [Link]

The Onion » Criminal Prosecuted To Fullest Extent Of Budget

Thursday 10 July 17:00:00 UTC 2014

STOCKTON, CA—Concluding proceedings of a case that will now be sent to a jury it lacked the means to properly vet, San Joaquin District Attorney James Willett told reporters Monday that he believes his office prosecuted a suspected murderer to the f…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hello, this is dog, I'm allergic just being a dog [Sappy]

Thursday 10 July 16:59:05 UTC 2014

Sappy [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mass murderer, Neckbeard the Hutt, apprehended on his way to kill, and evidently eat, more relatives [Followup]

Thursday 10 July 16:56:05 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [89 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Five annoying ways the internet fools you into clicking crap. By Cracked [Ironic]

Thursday 10 July 16:42:55 UTC 2014

Ironic [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gambling approved for US flights. Two hour delay pays 2-1, missed connection pays 20-1 and 40-1 for a two hour tarmac delay. Lost luggage side bets also pay 20-1 and 40-1. Still no payouts for crying babies and seat kickers [Spiffy]

Thursday 10 July 16:40:29 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 15 Things You Might Not Know About 'The State'

Thursday 10 July 16:30:03 UTC 2014

The highly influential comedy troupe made a lot of news in a short amount of time on TV. [Link]

The Onion » Infographic: Why Hotel Rooms Cost So Much

Thursday 10 July 16:00:00 UTC 2014

Here’s the Onion’s look at where your money goes when you book a hotel room
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Everybody mocked you when you put money on a scoreline for Germany vs. Brazil that the bookies didn't even have on the chart, but who's laughing now? [Spiffy]

Thursday 10 July 15:35:14 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Middle school teacher suspended for teaching students how to twerk and receiving a lap dance from a student. At least she cared enough to provide them with marketable skills that would help them in the future [Florida]

Thursday 10 July 15:23:42 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New York lawmakers to look at regulating costumed characters in Times Square, because for some reason, not everyone wants to be molested by a six-foot tall Elmo. Weirdos [Followup]

Thursday 10 July 15:15:46 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protip: If you're going to run from the store after shoplifting it's probably best to know the exact location of the surrounding drainage ponds [Fail]

Thursday 10 July 15:10:14 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Convenience store clerk fends off robber by throwing cases of beer at her. Police say the beer is doing fine, though it was a bit shaken [Scary]

Thursday 10 July 15:04:59 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Geckos may use electricity to stick to walls, help lower your car insurance rate [Interesting]

Thursday 10 July 15:02:22 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Do Movies Get Their Ratings?

Thursday 10 July 15:00:12 UTC 2014

Today, a few minutes of movie hype bookended by the phrase “In a world…” and a rating from the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) is pop-culture commonsense. The combo is such a regular part of our lives, in fact, that it’s become the object of effortless parody for any comedian worth her salt, as well as a veritable Pavlovian … [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Study Finds Children Of Same-Sex Parents Happier And Healthier

Thursday 10 July 15:00:00 UTC 2014

Contradicting assertions that children with same-sex parents would be hindered by not being raised by both a male and a female, a study from the University of Melbourne found that such children actually scored higher than children with opposite-sex parent…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » "911, what's your emergency?" "My baby is choking." "Wait, our baby is choking?" [Scary]

Thursday 10 July 14:41:14 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Germany expels CIA station chief after NSA spying. Also finds out he was rooting for Argentina in World Cup final [Cool]

Thursday 10 July 14:30:41 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [123 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's official: naked young woman who fled police on foot was 'Tripping Balls,' according to police report. With blurry dashcam goodness [Amusing]

Thursday 10 July 14:26:11 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida DOT sign explains how babby is formed [Florida]

Thursday 10 July 14:18:00 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption this intimate conversation [Caption]

Thursday 10 July 14:00:01 UTC 2014

Caption [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man adds "identity theft" to the long list of bad decisions in his life, a list that includes having a Bentley tattoo on his forehead [Florida]

Thursday 10 July 13:52:53 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Crash

Thursday 10 July 13:43:16 UTC 2014

[Link]

Mental Floss » What Legal Authority Does Judge Judy Have?

Thursday 10 July 13:43:14 UTC 2014

Judge Judy makes $47 million a year. What kind of legal power comes with it? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Dear Kendall Jones, we at Facebook have reviewed the page 'Kill Kendall Jones' and found it doesn't violate our community standards. Maybe you shouldn't boast about indiscriminately killing animals" [Followup]

Thursday 10 July 13:41:02 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [387 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fat woman wears bikini, world doesn't end. Some bystanders did report a brief eclipse, though [Silly]

Thursday 10 July 13:30:52 UTC 2014

Silly [link] [141 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Invasive Species That Couldn’t Invade

Thursday 10 July 13:30:34 UTC 2014

The red shiner is just a few inches long, and has no big scary fangs, no claws, no stinger and no poisonous spines. The little minnow probably isn’t an animal that would ever strike fear in anyone’s heart, but it’s a fierce conqueror. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We are very sorry but the files that document CIA's involvement in rendition flights were unfortunately eaten by the dog [Obvious]

Thursday 10 July 13:22:44 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this beach brawl [Photoshop]

Thursday 10 July 13:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » library book says FML

Thursday 10 July 12:56:08 UTC 2014

Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 10 July 12:54:19 UTC 2014

Today, I found out the record label I was talking to was actually just my friends who have way too much time on their hands. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pet wallaby breaks loose in Alabama. Authorities find it in the company of a cow and a turtle, headed toward some place called "O-Town" [Amusing]

Thursday 10 July 12:48:37 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When a mortar shell has "THIS END UP" printed on one end, make sure that end is on top when placing it in the tube, lighting the fuse and holding it over your head [Fail]

Thursday 10 July 12:34:32 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [121 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Chirps Cricket Chips

Thursday 10 July 12:20:24 UTC 2014

Available now for pre-order. They're chips made of cricket flour. I'd be willing to try them because from what I've heard crickets don't taste bad at all. And if they don't look anything like crickets, all the better! Though I have a hard time imagining these will ever go mainstream.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » When you're a lawmaker, you probably shouldn't have someone airmail bullets for your handgun, an aerosol spray can and a cigarette lighter to you on the state's dime [Dumbass]

Thursday 10 July 11:47:53 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [2 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Speer’s Sambuci Wine

Thursday 10 July 11:29:47 UTC 2014

What is this miraculous "sambuci wine?" I'm glad you asked.

Preparation.—Take of elder bark, parsley root, each, in coarse powder, 1 ounce; sherry wine, 1 pint, or a sufficient quantity. Form into a medicated wine by maceration or percolation, as explained under Vina Medicata, and make one pint of the preparation.

Action, Medical Uses, and Dosage.—Wine of elder is useful … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Silent Spring 2: Neonicotinoid Boogaloo [Sad]

Thursday 10 July 10:48:00 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Crack investigative minds on the Myrtle Beach, SC police force figure out that woman set to appear in court on fraud and identity theft charges did NOT actually conveniently get swept out to sea and drown two days before her trial [Obvious]

Thursday 10 July 10:32:55 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why you should never, ever touch that hospital elevator button [Sick]

Thursday 10 July 10:27:00 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Japanese Doctor Who

Thursday 10 July 10:00:47 UTC 2014

Here’s an ingenious recreation of a low-budget 1970s Japanese knockoff of Doctor Who. Filmmaker Joshua Kahan has all the details, down to the Sonic Screw Sword!
*
Take a Second Look at the Most Underrated Movies Of Tom Hanks’s Career. Or actually, just the underrated ones that deserve a second look.
*
This Police Department Has Figured Out A Daffy … [Link]

FMyLife » ninnang says FML

Thursday 10 July 9:35:29 UTC 2014

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 10 July 7:13:26 UTC 2014

Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 10 July 7:13:25 UTC 2014

Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for 15 minutes and still hadn't been seated or had his order taken. We were at a self-serve breakfast buffet. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Sun_Kissed18 says FML

Thursday 10 July 7:13:24 UTC 2014

Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML [Link]

FMyLife » whoops says FML

Thursday 10 July 7:13:23 UTC 2014

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML [Link]

FMyLife » jobless says FML

Thursday 10 July 7:13:22 UTC 2014

Today, I heard back from a company that I recently interviewed with. They told me I didn't get the job because "it was obvious that I had been coached." I wasn't. Sorry that I actually researched the company unlike the rest of the nit-wit candidates. FML [Link]

FMyLife » HowAreYouAlive says FML

Thursday 10 July 7:13:21 UTC 2014

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 10 July 7:13:20 UTC 2014

Today, I discovered that my best friend has been telling everyone at our workplace that I'm faking my pregnancy for attention. She was at every single one of my ultrasounds. FML [Link]

FMyLife » HeartToFart says FML

Thursday 10 July 7:13:19 UTC 2014

Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML [Link]

FMyLife » madamefuxalittle says FML

Thursday 10 July 7:13:18 UTC 2014

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML [Link]

FMyLife » Jack00412 says FML

Thursday 10 July 7:13:17 UTC 2014

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 10 July 7:13:16 UTC 2014

Today, at my local amusement park, I decided it'd be fun to meet someone on the roller coaster by sitting alone and hoping that someone nice would sit next to me. I rode the roller coaster 7 times. I sat alone each time. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Security guard gets fired from job due to news footage of him being the first person to buy legal recreational marijuana in the State of Washington. That's some fine bud there Lou [Hero]

Thursday 10 July 7:03:00 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [155 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » STOP THE PRESSES: Hostess is bringing back the CHOCODILE–NATIONWIDE [Hero]

Thursday 10 July 6:31:00 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [132 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Testing Tongues

Thursday 10 July 6:20:29 UTC 2014

Applicants for radio announcing jobs in the 1920s had to a pass a diction test — New York Daily News radio critic Ben Gross gives this example in his 1954 book I Looked and I Listened: “Penelope Cholmondely raised her azure eyes from the crabbed scenario. She meandered among the congeries of her memoirs. There was the Kinetic Algernon, a … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How to give a giant blue whale a bath [Interesting]

Thursday 10 July 5:34:56 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 479: "Into the Woods". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 10 July 4:01:00 UTC 2014

Farktography [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you donated human skulls to the Goodwill in Bellevue, Washington, please call the medical examiner. You won't get in any trouble. Promise [Strange]

Thursday 10 July 2:41:10 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pro tip: After stealing an iPhone, don't post selfies to the victim's iCloud [Dumbass]

Thursday 10 July 2:39:01 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nine people you should date before you're 30. After that, take what you can get [Interesting]

Thursday 10 July 2:25:37 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Delaware dad busted for powdering his baby's tush after cops notice that the powder was inside sixteen small zip-lock bags [Asinine]

Thursday 10 July 2:06:07 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Another unintended consequence of the Iraq insurgency: The country has run out of cemetery space for all the dead [Obvious]

Thursday 10 July 2:05:52 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some of the children crossing into the U.S. illegally brought gifts with them. Gifts like scabies, measles, chicken pox, TB, chiclets [Scary]

Thursday 10 July 1:55:10 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [194 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's a bunch of history's unfairly overlooked scientists not named Nikola Tesla [Misc]

Thursday 10 July 1:31:30 UTC 2014

Misc [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your mom says you have to move out of her house. Do you C) trash the place and kill her cat [Sick]

Thursday 10 July 0:32:11 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember the fire that almost burned down Stone Brewing along with a good chunk of San Diego's north county? Yeah, some dumbass kid started it [Dumbass]

Thursday 10 July 0:17:09 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Virginia cops want to give a 17-year-old boy an erection so they can take pictures of it [Obvious]

Thursday 10 July 0:14:38 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [248 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this hopping otter [Photoshop]

Thursday 10 July 0:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [30 comments] [Link]

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