John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Air New Zealand will no longer have a video of women in bikinis explaining safety procedures before take off [Sad]

Sunday 6 July 23:48:27 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some pipsqueak British politician says discriminating based on height is as bad as racism or homophobia. Well, men of his stature ARE in … short supply [Amusing]

Sunday 6 July 23:17:20 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [167 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nerds fail to lure girls to enroll in engineering and tech schools with sparkles, pink flowers, pantie raids [Fail]

Sunday 6 July 22:26:22 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [210 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meet the guy whose face is on the POW flag [Interesting]

Sunday 6 July 22:16:21 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Renowned Indian poet Anwar Jalapuri translated the legendary Bhagavad Gita into Urdu poetry [Cool]

Sunday 6 July 21:57:18 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [50 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 6 July 21:22:23 UTC 2014

Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML [Link]

FMyLife » idiot bro says FML

Sunday 6 July 21:22:22 UTC 2014

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML [Link]

Weird Universe » News of the Weird (July 6, 2014)

Sunday 6 July 20:43:25 UTC 2014

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M378, July 6, 2014
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

California Polytechnic State University at San Luis Obispo has a huge, 350-student “viticulture and enology” program, preparing its majors for an industry critical to the state’s economy (and with a venerable international cachet)–but puritanical state law continues to hobble it. Many in … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bicycle assaults NYC police officer [Ironic]

Sunday 6 July 20:36:12 UTC 2014

Ironic [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this delivery guy on the move [Photoshop]

Sunday 6 July 20:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rock-solid alibi? Check. Witnesses proclaiming you are not the shooter? Check. Accused while being black? GUILTY [Asinine]

Sunday 6 July 19:48:04 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Have you been delaying the launch of your professional triangle player career because you don't know all of the 17 steps you'll need to follow? Well, today's your lucky day [Interesting]

Sunday 6 July 18:47:05 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [68 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » x.x says FML

Sunday 6 July 18:42:28 UTC 2014

Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kids raised by same-sex couples are healthier and happier than kids raised by heterosexual couples or single parents [Obvious]

Sunday 6 July 18:02:13 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [213 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not News: Drunk guy uses hotel fire hose. News: Water from hose causes extensive damage with 500 guests evacuated. Fark: Water believed to have sparked fire in electrical room. WTFark: Sci-Fi convention cancelled (subby was there) [Dumbass]

Sunday 6 July 17:50:44 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fear mongering British 'expert' warns against public complacency by alerting everyone to the devilish skills of terrorists able to turn ordinary cellphones into bombs. OMG, your smartphone is ticking [Unlikely]

Sunday 6 July 17:41:50 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Grand Canyon National Park, a crowded attraction in the middle of nowhere, could become a crowded attraction in the middle of other crowded attractions [Interesting]

Sunday 6 July 17:21:52 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There is a marijuana shortage, and it seems that Washington and Colorado will learn what drug dealers have known for years: it's dangerous to run out of product, and drug addicts will go to extreme lengths to get their fix [Scary]

Sunday 6 July 17:09:53 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [162 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 6 July 16:30:59 UTC 2014

Today, I got done loading $322 of groceries into a cart only to find out that the person's check didn't clear. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Work would be so much more bearable if your boss would give you an enclosed, coffin-like work space that allows you to hide from your co-workers all day as you can curl up with your favorite bourbon uninterrupted and watch Star Wars [Obvious]

Sunday 6 July 15:52:03 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "This sport is definitely growing amongst women, back in the early seventies there were women who would do the cross cut events and then we started to get women doing some of the chopping events, and now, it is really growing," [Spiffy]

Sunday 6 July 15:31:57 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bureau of Land Management rings bell and decides to go second round with Clive Bundy. Militiamen reportedly tightening their tinfoil hats while pledging allegiance to the second amendment [Followup]

Sunday 6 July 15:31:13 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [192 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Attention passengers, everything on the flight is normal, except for the fact that the captain has intentionally locked the co-pilot out of the cockpit [Dumbass]

Sunday 6 July 15:04:19 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How to Edit Your Facebook/Twitter History

Sunday 6 July 15:03:20 UTC 2014

"Quitting is harder than you might think," reports Molly Wood, as she explains that finding the link to quit Facebook is rather difficult, and even then, the actual deletion takes up to 90 days. In this video, Wood walks us through some easy ways to clean up old Facebook and Twitter posts, change privacy settings, download all posts (a very … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Krause family is an American dynasty when it comes to competitive cherry pit-spitting [Spiffy]

Sunday 6 July 14:55:57 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [5 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Neighbors outraged when house gifted to foster family is sold to rehab facility. Rehab admin reassures neighbors that only 'high net worth' individuals will be housed there, much better than foster kids, right? [Interesting]

Sunday 6 July 14:28:25 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Happy 79th birthday to the Dalai Lama, or as it would be said in his native tongue, "Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga" [Spiffy]

Sunday 6 July 13:42:53 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Buck Nolan – The tallest clown

Sunday 6 July 13:36:45 UTC 2014

Buck Nolan claimed to be the tallest clown in the world. And since he was 7 feet 6 inches tall, that claim was probably accurate.

He reportedly turned down the role of Darth Vader, after which he was probably a sad, bitter clown. Plus, he was also once investigated for child molestation, so he was also a creepy clown. (Though … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stranded baby dolphin rescued on Florida beach. Faith in humanity: restored for approximately 1 day [Florida]

Sunday 6 July 13:29:48 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [28 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Pipo says FML

Sunday 6 July 13:17:54 UTC 2014

Today, my daughter wrote her first sentence. Very proud of the accomplishment, she ran to show me. It said, "DADI IS FAT." FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Three are dead and twenty eight are injured as Chicago seeks to keep their crown for being the most violent city in America [Sad]

Sunday 6 July 13:05:09 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [194 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop satan himself, disguised as this guy [Photoshop]

Sunday 6 July 13:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Paper or Plastic?

Sunday 6 July 12:30:00 UTC 2014

There's a perpetual dilemma at the end of every grocery store checkout line: paper or plastic? Turns out, that decision is even harder than it sounds. * 29 different celebrities make cameo appearances in just this one song – or at least, it sounds like they do. * The Google Street View camera's job is to take photos of its … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ISIS now issuing passports for their new nation, threatens to deploy army against anyone who harms their citizens. Subby considers joining just for the privilege of deploying an army against all those who beat him up in high school [Interesting]

Sunday 6 July 12:15:14 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » VD Is for Everybody

Sunday 6 July 11:43:23 UTC 2014

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sheriff says drink 'em if you got 'em, no worries. Bonus: The cool part of Fark's favorite state [Florida]

Sunday 6 July 11:22:43 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [20 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » imafool says FML

Sunday 6 July 10:39:12 UTC 2014

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 7 years. She said no, because it's "too soon." FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » To curb waste, Japan recommends local governments cull roster of unneeded mascots. "In one case, a single mascot suit cost 1.38 million yen, while in another, a pair that cost 380,000 yen were used for just four events in a year" [Weird]

Sunday 6 July 8:48:00 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Flexagons

Sunday 6 July 6:25:39 UTC 2014

Create a strip of 19 triangles like the one above (printable version here) and fold the left portion back successively at each of the northeast-pointing lines to produce a spiral: Image: Wikimedia Commons Fold this spiral backward along line ab: Image: Wikimedia Commons Then fold the resulting figure backward at cd. You should be left with one blank triangular tab that can … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Human leg found in Ohio river. Coroner proclaims, "This will not stand" [Strange]

Sunday 6 July 6:16:00 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Millennials stink [Amusing]

Sunday 6 July 5:56:00 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [140 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 6 July 5:43:21 UTC 2014

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » All the cool states are doing it, so maybe it's time for Alabama to consider legalizing marijuana [Unlikely]

Sunday 6 July 5:29:55 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Live from Juneau, it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents, 2+ hours of music hosted live by a farker, and tonight, a guest host farker. LGT page where you can get the stream [Spiffy]

Sunday 6 July 5:15:20 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [338 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Shooters

Sunday 6 July 5:04:58 UTC 2014


No, its not a bar. Shooters is a restaurant in Rifle, Colorado that encourages patrons to bring their guns inside. In fact the waitresses are armed and the business hosts $75 conceal carry classes. I'd advise leaving a tip! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Purposely fouling the environment just to annoy environmentalists? Dude, you have issues. And one is probably your small penis [Stupid]

Sunday 6 July 4:54:00 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [745 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Because the 4th of July festivities don't really kick off until you have to use a stun gun on a woman brandishing a weapon in one hand and a wine bottle in the other after she stabbed a man outside of the liquor store [Scary]

Sunday 6 July 4:40:53 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Single mom says the government is persecuting her because she's really hot and not because she went on a shopping spree after the government accidentally put about $90,000 in her bank account and wants the money back [Asinine]

Sunday 6 July 4:31:07 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Family living in fear as smoking hot 26-year-old stripper moves into their home, stops paying rent, refuses leave: "The screaming, the spanking, the moaning…that would wake the dead and my 5-year-old" [Strange]

Sunday 6 July 3:41:04 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: A Culver's restaurant in Wisconsin burns down. News: Instead of firing the staff the owner pays $144,000 out of his own pocket to keep his staff while rebuilding. Fark: And only asked them to use the time to volunteer in the community [

Sunday 6 July 3:31:15 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Best way to make a beer run [Amusing]

Sunday 6 July 2:57:59 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Once you've mastered the easy rafting, move on to the rivers with the 737s floating in them [Fail]

Sunday 6 July 1:20:08 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beer: full of vitamins, high in fibre, good for your hair, social lubricant…what can it not do? [Cool]

Sunday 6 July 0:57:10 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Some parts of the European Union have the most ludicrous enthusiasm for recycling they are planning to recycle all all domestic refuse. This is simply insane: it will take more resources to recycle everything than we gain from doing the recyclin

Sunday 6 July 0:51:58 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [108 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fourteen of Britain's most disgusting foods. Click it, if you dare [Sick]

Sunday 6 July 0:14:44 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this eclectic shelving system [Photoshop]

Sunday 6 July 0:00:01 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [12 comments] [Link]

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