Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Futility Closet » Do Paint the Meadows With Delight
Image: Wikimedia Commons There was one moment in Stratford the other afternoon when I really did feel I was treading upon Shakespeare’s own ground. It was in the gardens of New Place, very brave in the spring sunlight. You could have played the outdoor scene of Twelfth Night in them without disturbing a leaf. There was the very sward for Viola … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » And the worst job translating a news story goes to [Fail]
[link] [137 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man with enormous sack really not happy about it [Sick]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » News: Man busted for running child porn operation out of his home. Fark: Also running a "daycare and mentoring program" out of his home [Sick]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "The robber was wearing a pink plaid shirt with what appeared to be pink and white pajama-like pants. He was also seen wearing a long black apron with grease marks on his pants and white tennis shoes." Fashion police on high alert [Strange]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man blown out of his boots by lightning, inspires new line of videos from Vivid [Scary]
[link] [11 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Standing Meetings Can Increase Productivity
A new study has found that employees have more productive group meetings when they stand, suggesting that companies should adopt furniture designs and layouts that discourage sitting. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Chinese bureaucrat fired for making employee give him piggyback ride in the rain so he didn't get his shoes wet, in proof that China now has at least SOME labor standards. Of course, the picture of said piggyback ride may have been a factor [Stra
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, our dishwasher door broke. My mom made me sit there for an hour straight, holding the door shut so it would work. FML [Link]
FMyLife » lrn2road says FML
Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Have you ever asked yourself, "Self, if every state were a country, where would it rank with the rest of world in incarceration rates?" here's your answer [Sad]
[link] [174 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Open Carry Texas insists 'we don't see color' after calling off march in black neighborhood [Fail]
[link] [288 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "911 operator, what is your emergency?" "There's a man breaking into my house." "We'll send the NYPD right away." "That's great, but I'm in Minneapolis" [Asinine]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 'No brainer' plea deal includes 'no swimmers' clause [Strange]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you've ever flown Air India, you will appreciate this honest in-flight safety video of what the stewardesses would really like to tell passengers. If you've never flown Air India, make a note to never do it [Amusing]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Report Finds More Americans Putting Off Children Until Companies Are Ready
WASHINGTON—According to a study released Tuesday that examines the changing demographics of first-time parents in America, researchers at the Pew Research Center found that more young adults are delaying having children until the companies that empl… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » NJ high school employee's job is to offer free and confidential services to students seeking help with drug abuse and other non-academic issues. She gets fired for doing just that [Asinine]
[link] [70 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Thief forgets to log out of Facebook at victim's home. Gets checked in at jail [Dumbass]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » One in five women refuses to participate in physical activity because of: A) high blood pressure. B) time constraints. or C) breasts [Interesting]
[link] [187 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 14 Flight Attendant Slang Terms Explained
Are the flight attendants talking about you? Know your airline industry lingo. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Challenge: Complete this masterpiece-in-progress [Photoshop]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Amazon's Most Expensive Things
Amaz-On the Pricier Side Need a toy car for $999,999? Amazon has you covered. Check out the most expensive things the site has to offer. * Step Right Up These are 10 of the most famous female sideshow performers of all time. * Scan and Serve Nestle wants to develop “a device to scan our nutrient needs, then design food … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How bad is the measles outbreak? Even the Amish are reconsidering their anti-vaccination stance [Interesting]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Great Ads for Cat Adoption During Adopt-A-Cat Month
June is almost over, but there’s still a week left in Adopt-A-Cat Month from the American Humane Association. The spring crop of kittens are old enough to go to new families and there are plenty of mature cats who need a place to call home. To this end, many animal shelters are going the extra mile to grab your attention … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Is a college degree really still worth it? Yes, yes it is [Obvious]
[link] [134 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Louisiana needs a Florida tag [Asinine]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » This armored backhoe does 60 mph [Cool]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Update: Hitler captured after attempted murder" [Followup]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coors distribution plant in Texas evacuated after fire grows out of control. And nothing of value was lost [Scary]
[link] [100 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 8 Pieces of Advice From the Middle Ages
Some of these ideas kind of make sense, some are timeless, and some are exactly the kind of thing that we make fun of the Middle Ages for. Just don’t forget that our generation invented an app that just texts the word “Yo.” [Link]
Fark.com RSS » More proof that failed solar power only works in deserts or near equator as Germany only gets 50% of its power from solar [Interesting]
[link] [258 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A growing number of cities and states are making it illegal to ask job seekers if they have ever been convicted of a crime, finally relieving subby of having to explain that whole meth-fueled circus midget thing from the 80's [Interesting]
[link] [155 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman banned from zoo after climbing into lion enclosure. Seems like a self-correcting problem [Dumbass]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » My analysis of a sneeze versus a toot
View [Link]
FMyLife » over prtective father says FML
Today, it became apparent that my father knows more about my boyfriend than I do because he spends so much time interrogating him. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Following the lead of Heat fans, LeBron plans to leave early [Interesting]
[link] [133 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Opinion: When I Need Strength, I Turn To The Bible Or Whatever Else Is Around (by Kathy Crines)
By Kathy Crines 
[Link]
The Onion » Report: Only Predictor Of Happy Marriage Is If Husband Ever Won Wife Big Stuffed Animal At Amusement Park
CHICAGO—Citing it as the telltale indicator of long-term marital satisfaction, a report released Wednesday by the Family Institute at Northwestern University found that the sole predictor of a successful marriage is whether or not the husband ever w… 
[Link]
Mental Floss » The Long and Difficult Publication History of James Joyce’s Dubliners
This month marks the 100th anniversary of the publication of author James Joyce’s Dubliners, a collection of short stories depicting the everyday trials and tribulations of the residents of his hometown. But getting the book on shelves was painful nine-year-long struggle. The story of how Dubliners finally came to be printed is a fascinating tale of artistic frustration and persistence … [Link]
Mental Floss » The Strangest Soccer Match Ever Played
For some inexplicable reason, Shell Caribbean Cup organizers decided that extra time goals would be worth two goals in 1994. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Study finds that the same genes that make one more likely to develop schizophrenia also make one more likely to use marijuana. That's like, their personal opinion, man [Interesting]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » NTSB releases Asiana crash report: "The pilot flying the plane was experienced, but lacked certain critical skills for guiding the aircraft," like how not to fly a perfectly healthy jumbo jet into a sea wall [Followup]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Airport finally makes passengers strip nude before the flight. Well… it offers them the chance, anyway [Hero]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman takes pictures of trains while standing on railroad tracks, fails to realize that although the train is getting closer, she's not using the zoom function [Florida]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
The Onion » New Report Suggests It Kind Of Weird Baseball Uniforms Have Belts
CINCINNATI—Raising questions about the logic of the long-held convention, a new report released Tuesday by Xavier University’s Department of Sports Studies revealed that it’s sort of weird baseball uniforms have belts. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mensa and match.com discover that it's really hard finding dates when you think you're better than everyone [Dumbass]
[link] [218 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Thanks to global warming, by the end of the century many parts of the country will be unsuitable for having the kids go outside to play. Which would be a real problem if this were the 1950s when kids actually went outside to play [Interesting]
[link] [126 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Introduction of new US triple-zero dress sizes makes fat chicks angry, hungry [Obvious]
[link] [138 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Young people didn't invent sex. You wouldn't know any of that from the media coverage of casual sex, which invariably focuses on the carnal aerobics of hot young keg-standing coeds" [Obvious]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 30 Facts About 'The Lion King'
Here are a few things you may not have heard about the animated masterpiece that had you in tears two decades ago. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Shane, when a customer asks where to find a product, give them an aisle number, not directions to Albertsons" — Walmart Management [Amusing]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ragamuffin grifter 23 skidoos away with olde-tymey Model A [PSA]
[link] [40 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » German Luftwaffe takes part in a training exercise where they have to intercept a private jet. Fark: They ram it out of the sky. Mission accomplished I guess [Scary]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you clap your hands and can't keep a beat, a leading neuroscientist says you have a "musical brain disorder" that makes one "beat deaf" [PSA]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Dear Prudence: My husband told me I was an '8.' He's trying to insult me, isn't he?" asks an internet 6 [Silly]
[link] [121 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Great White Shark Populations Surging Off East Coast
Nearly 40 years after the film Jaws spread fear of great white sharks that contributed to widespread hunting, scientists report that their populations are surging along the U.S. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ten game changing inventions…per CNN. Ok, the one ring to control them all is kinda cool [Amusing]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Turtle Bocce Balled Around
Turtle Bocce Balled Around 
[Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: From the Edge
Today's mentalfloss.com Tuesday Test Time Brain Game asks you to break down an eight-letter word, one letter at a time, forming new words along the way. Are you up to the challenge? By removing one letter from the mix at each step,
and rearranging the remaining letters to form new words,
reduce the word "POSTCARD" to the letter "O." P O … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The restaurant where you want to eat won't let your wife bring her dog inside. To show your displeasure with the policy, do you: A) take your business elsewhere, B) give it a poor review on Yelp, or C) drive your car into the restaurant? [Strange
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hipster Nazis. I hate hipster Nazis [Sick]
[link] [91 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 24, 2014
Aries Love is strong in your sign this week. Please be advised that, precession of the equinoxes or not, this is still your sign. Taurus Outside influences will attempt to bedazzle you with strange mathematics and exotic… 
[Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, while visiting family, we went to a restaurant to eat. Towards the end of the meal, I went to use the restroom. When I came back, everyone was gone. Everyone had actually gotten into their cars and left without me. I have no idea where I am and no one is answering their phone. FML [Link]
FMyLife » criley says FML
Today, an attractive guy approached me and struck up a conversation. He was friendly and sweet, and gave me his number. As I walked away, my first thought was that someone had played a cruel joke on me. I've had such awful relationships that I can't recognize when someone is actually being sincere. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There is drunk, and then there is the special kind of drunk reserved for people who drink and drive, fall out of their own vehicle, then run over themselves [Dumbass]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Self Sacrifice
Educator Bronson Alcott punished students by making them punish him: “One day I called up before me a pupil eight or ten years of age, who had violated an important regulation of the school. All the pupils were looking on, and they knew what the rule of the school was. I put the ruler into the hand of that offending … [Link]
Mental Floss » Chuck Jones Draws Bugs Bunny
"Depending upon what our budget is, we can use three, or two, whiskers. Today we'll be very generous." -Chuck Jones, showing us how to draw Bugs Bunny. Got two and a half minutes to see the master at work? In this short clip from Chuck Amok: The Movie, animator Chuck Jones draws Bugs Bunny, with running commentary. Adorable: I love … [Link]
Mental Floss » Why Did the Nazis Hijack the Swastika?
Reader Scott from Vermont wrote to ask, “Why did the Nazis adopt the ancient sacred symbol of the swastika as their emblem?” [Link]
Weird Universe » Yogurt Tax
Marion Barry, the former mayor of Washington DC and now a Councilmember, has reportedly taken a stand against taxing yogurt, saying that a yogurt tax is "crazy," and pointing out that "Yogurt is really more healthy than some other things, as is cottage cheese."
However, there isn't actually a yogurt tax. Barry apparently misheard a reporter who asked him about … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Want alcohol delivered to your door? Yep, there's now an app for that. Is this a great country or what? [Spiffy]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Behind the Scenes at the Ostrich Derby and Cameltonian
The whole race only took about about 20 seconds. And that was for the camels. The ostrich-drawn chariots took even less time, but it's hard to tell for sure without a really discernible start or finish line. In both races, however, all of the participating animals ran—and ran in the correct direction—and because of that, the Meadowlands third annual Ostrich … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hot chick crashes her truck, drives down the wrong way on a highway, crashes again, gets arrested, wiggles out of her handcuffs, reaches into the front seat and eats a bag of weed. TAA-DAA [Florida]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Coast Guard reminds boaters not to have threesomes on moving yachts: "There's a moral here: If you're feeling amorous aboard a boat, I suggest you drop your anchor before you drop your pants" [PSA]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not that anyone needs another reason to have a pet kangaroo, but here's one anyway [Hero]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Time travel may now be possible" says scientist before stepping into a DeLorean and going back in time to kill his own grandparents and… what were we talking about again? [Interesting]
[link] [173 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Solo gets out of jail in less than 12 parsecs [Followup]
[link] [90 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop what should be on this phone screen [Photoshop]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Foreign parents of children in Japanese schools worry about intense pressure on their kids to join and commit to school clubs. "Why can't Japan get the hang of moderation? Basically they are training them to be great salarymen" [Weird]
[link] [83 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A 15 year old overdoses. Does her mother (a) campaign against the dangers of drugs (b) sue the daughter's friends (c) push to end the War on Drugs [Hero]
[link] [118 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Jeez! The Kid’s Got a Real Gun!
What are the actual odds that Billy would be deader'n a doornail as a result of his impetuous behavior?
Original ad here. (On page 35.)
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Parents who waited 18 years to have the house back, I have bad news: "Boomerang kids" are not leaving anytime soon, and if you wait for them to just "figure things out," they'll just outlive you [Sad]
[link] [368 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » HD19 says FML
Today, I told my boyfriend about my decision to become a vegetarian. His reply was, "It's not natural, babe." I looked at him in the eyes and said, "Anal isn't either." I now have his full support. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anon says FML
Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I started a new internship. I couldn't do anything until I was trained, and I couldn't be trained until I had a login. I stared at a wall for three hours. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » John Green on The Colbert Report
"Are you a cult leader?" [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Tim Burton's Batman is 25
15 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Tim Burton’s Batman. Casting Michael Keaton was a brilliant move that no one understood until they saw the finished movie.
*
A 16-year-old made a browser plugin that reveals where politicians get their cash. Nicholas Rubin isn’t old enough to vote, but he might make a difference in upcoming elections anyway.
*
10 … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You may violate curfew if you spend too much time with this week's Mugshot Roundup [Amusing]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » "-iggy"
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Afghans protest election fraud, in latest sign that they don't really understand how modern democracy is expected to 'work' [Sad]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Three American friends hospitalized after becoming 'possessed' by Mexican Ouija board [Obvious]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ten tips on becoming a morning person, the greatest type of person there is [PSA]
[link] [105 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police trying to piece together how a landscaper fell into a running wood chipper [Florida]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The most beautiful American car ever made? Well, I wouldn't go THAT far [Interesting]
[link] [205 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Good news, everyone: Study finds casual sex is good for you [Spiffy]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So, that girl who was kicked out of KFC for being disfigured in a dog attack? Well, brace yourselves: the grandmother lied about the whole thing. No word if the family will return the $30,000 pledged by KFC [Followup]
[link] [151 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Unquote
“If I love you, what business is it of yours?” — Goethe [Link]
Fark.com RSS » What would you do if you won £1m? Go on an incredible year-long spending spree around the world, of course [Fail]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bootstrappy Texas wants to eliminate medical licensing for 18 healthcare positions, including respiratory therapy, X-ray technicians, and medical physicists who calibrate MRI machines and other radiologic equipment [Scary]
[link] [116 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Put that in your pipe and smoke it: Dutch company introduces world's first 'e-joint,' claims it is 100 percent legal, completely harmless and contains no dangerous substances like nicotine, tobacco or even THC [Weird]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » amused says FML
Today, I looked at my bank balance. It read $1.23. That's higher than it usually is. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Deep fried doughnut bacon cheeseburgers are a thing in Canada now, presumably among Canadians who find poutine too healthy [Amusing]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » One injured after porta-potty explodes. Bystanders say it looked like some scary shiat [Scary]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Behold: 10 Exceptionally Tiny Animal Figurines
I don’t know about you, but I love tiny versions of normal sized things: miniature dogs, mini cupcakes, tiny hats, Little Sebastian, free sample spoons at ice cream shops, everything. Luckily for me and fellow miniature enthusiasts, there are people like Kerri Pajutee, who creates beautiful and realistic animals at 1:12 scale. [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 More Obscure References in Classic Rock Songs—Explained!
We hear some songs so often on the radio that we automatically sing along with them, but how much of what we’re singing do we really understand? [Link]
Mental Floss » 13 Fascinating Word Origin Stories (That Are Completely Untrue)
Thirteen of these etymological tall-tales, taken from word origins guide Haggard Hawks and Paltry Poltroons, are explained and debunked here. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Solving all its other problems, Malaysian Government claims religious trademark on God © [Asinine]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Putting away money in a 401(k) or IRA to provide income for yourself in your golden years. New Hotness: FARK THAT WE'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND [Dumbass]
[link] [109 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "You may have heard about the metal statue of Marilyn Monroe that is quietly resting in a Chinese scrapheap after a brief time in front of a Guigang mall. But the juxtaposition of Giant Metal Marilyn amid the garbage is only the tip of the weird&
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Well, would you look at that: All of a sudden, Iraq thinks giving US soldiers legal immunity is just peachy [Obvious]
[link] [127 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sure, you've been mad when some jerk cuts you off in traffic, but have you ever been "shoot a 10-year old in the face" mad? Or "while your own infant kids are in the car with you" mad? "how about "while on probation for a
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Doctors in Syrian refugee camps need a lot more Vaseline [Interesting]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » US Naval War College professor and former NSA intelligence analyst suspended after pictures of his warhead make the rounds on social media [Dumbass]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML [Link]
FMyLife » AGB10 says FML
Today, I made an excuse and didn't turn up at work. Little did I know my boss did the same. We both bumped into each other at the shopping centre across town. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop healthy living of the future in the 60's [Photoshop]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
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