Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Apparently confusing Russia for Westeros, Russian politician-while on mike- orders his aides to "violently rape" a pregnant journalist who asked him a question he didn't like and no, that doesn't mean something different in Russian [S
[link] [136 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The pen is mightier than the sword. Still no match for bullets, though [Dumbass]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A $500,000 study by the feds and released Sunday in the peer-reviewed journal Nature Climate Change: "biofuels made with corn residue release 7% more greenhouse gases compared with conventional gasoline" [Ironic]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » That Nessie picture? It's a streetlight [Obvious]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » sexual parrot says FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Blaisey says FML
Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Totally '90s Books About the Internet
Authors of the '90s found interesting ways to tap into the fear of the unknown and write Internet-centric fiction as awesome as it was terrible. Here are 10 of those novels. [Link]
FMyLife » Sue Ellen says FML
Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Happy Ṥmigus-Dyngus Day!
Show your crush you care on Ṥmigus-Dyngus Day. Splash them with water and spank them with pussy willow reeds. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A woman cleaning out her desk at Goodnight Middle School found a photo of a World War II soldier. Since then she has passed the photo around to veterans groups, trying to find out who the man is so they can return it to its rightful owner [Spiffy]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Government Approves Sale Of Powdered Alcohol
The U.S. Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau has approved a new product nicknamed “Palcohol,” a powdered alcohol that can be added to water to create mixed drinks or ingested by eating or snorting. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » FBI warns Americans studying abroad not to embark on a life of espionage and international intrigue, because that is totally a thing you can apparently do, but shouldn't [Interesting]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Following their agreement with the US and Russia, Syria is disposing of their chemical weapons [Obvious]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Now proven by science: Guys can't do sexy voices [Obvious]
[link] [95 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sure, you probably think you're hardcore, but are you '15 year old girl carjacking three kids and a puppy' hardcore? [Scary]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nothing shows dedication to your job like dealing heroin from your hospital room [Scary]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Reddit users revolting due to headline censorship. Fark users would never put up with that kind of farking bullshiat. Boobies [Silly]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Protip: Molesting children is still illegal even if you're a magical warlock [Sick]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » White supremacist group apparently hid Easter eggs with racist slogans along the path of a VA town''s annual Easter egg hunt- and didn't even have the decency to include any candy in them either [Asinine]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you found meatballs at a Colorado park, don't eat them [PSA]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Father of four hospitalized after doing wheelies on a stolen motorcycle expected to remain stupid [Dumbass]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dwarf was hoping to marry teenage girl after they had sex. In Kansas, not Westeros [Dumbass]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » First: legalized marijuana. Next: possible statewide ban on use of red light and speeding cameras. You're awesome, Colorado [Spiffy]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Using a barmaid's cleavage to promote your special ales on social media at your brewery is apparently too much for some boobs to handle [Stupid]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The next big thing with foodies? Giant emu eggs [Strange]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Are high school kids drinking and driving? Survey says: Oh, Hell yes [Scary]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Marine museum closed due to water [Ironic]
[link] [3 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Coming Soon to Brooklyn: The Morbid Anatomy Museum
In order to see the appeal of the forthcoming Morbid Anatomy Museum, you have to understand the death-centric collection—think skeletons, taxidermy, medical oddities— as neither kitschy nor creepy. "I like to think about how our attitudes about things have changed; and in particular our attitudes about death, because I think that is the most fertile thing to examine," says Joanna … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this couch-diving girl [Photoshop]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Mr. Met, Marked For Death
In Mascot News… The Secret Service once threatened to kill Mr. Met. Plus: Here’s how the NBA playoffs will go according to the ferocity of the teams' mascots. * Woo-Hoo, Woo-Hoo, Woo-Hoo The coolest, craziest cartoon duck around (deal with it, Donald) just had a birthday. See his first appearance ever. * Living the High Life I would trade my … [Link]
The Onion » Report: Average American Consuming 4 Ounces Of Cheese Right Now
COLLEGE PARK, MD—According to a report released Monday by researchers at the University of Maryland School of Public Health, the average American is currently eating 4 oz. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Counterfeit morning-after pills could lead to big problems nine months down the road [Scary]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » An oral history of "Super Troopers"? I'm freaking out, man [Spiffy]
[link] [108 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Camden Yards Concessions To Stop Selling Crack After Seventh Inning
BALTIMORE—In an effort to improve spectator safety, Oriole Park at Camden Yards personnel announced Monday that the ballpark’s concession stands will henceforth stop selling crack cocaine at the conclusion of the seventh inning. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pat Robertson: Jesus said an asteroid could destroy Earth next week — SO BUY MY BOOK TODAY [Dumbass]
[link] [134 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you live in Florida, be on the look out for this rabid raccoon in disguise. Possibly being chased by a male named Pepe [Florida]
[link] [9 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Friend’s Threats To Come Visit Becoming Disturbingly More Genuine
SEATTLE—Unsettled by the increasingly earnest tone of his friend’s words, local man Ryan Lauden, 29, told reporters Monday that his former college roommate Chris Marcotte’s repeated threats to visit him have recently grown uncomfortably … 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Female Marine who flunked the Marine Core's Infantry Officer Course says she was set up for failure, and that physical fitness standards for women need to be… increased? [Interesting]
[link] [139 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "In the hard-hitting, cutthroat world of online journalism…you can't throw like a girl" [Video]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 6 Insane Moments of Foreshadowing in 'Futurama'
Some Futurama Easter eggs foreshadowed events that wouldn't happen until seasons later. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Living in Minnesota and don't want to violate one of the 10 strangest sex laws in the United States? Skip the sardines before getting amorous [Weird]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Today is the 25th Anniversary of the Game Boy; Behold Its Awesome Power From 1989
On April 21st, 1989, Nintendo released the Game Boy in Japan (it wouldn't come out in America for another couple of months). As subtraction experts will tell you, that means today marks the 25th anniversary of the handheld gaming system. It also means we have an excuse to revel in nostalgia—It was a simpler time back then, back when men … [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: The Cost Of The Average ER Visit
The average cost of visiting the emergency room is currently $1,233, or 40 percent more than what most Americans pay for rent, leading many to criticize the high cost of emergency care. 
[Link]
The Onion » Employee’s Meteoric Rise Through Company A Testament To Staff Turnover
SAN DIEGO—Admiring his rapid advancement from a junior sales position to a management role in an unprecedented six months, sources at Forge Media said Monday that coworker Mark Pisciotto’s meteoric rise through the company is a true testament … 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two trains start from the same place traveling in opposite directions. Train A travels 7 mph faster than train B. In 5 hours they are 385 miles apart. Is train A's rate more delicious than ice-cold Pepsi Cola? T F (circle one) [Asinine]
[link] [85 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » High school feminist still outraged McDonald's employee asked her if she wanted a boy's toy or a girl's toy in her Happy Meal when she was 11. Just wait until she's old enough to start shopping at Adam & Eve [Obvious]
[link] [526 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How to poofread you're friend's essay without sounding like a totalfarker [Amusing]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 40 million people work in cubicles. Now someone has written an entire book on the creepy things that does to them. Too bad they can't close their office doors and read it [Sick]
[link] [103 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Donovan McNabbed, police find dog with a cell phone but no collar ID, and Vladimir Putin not the only Russian losing his shirt: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/13 – 4/19 [FarkBlog]
[link] [8 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » These Baby Birds Puke on Predators with Third-Hand Weapons
When Eurasian rollers feed their babies grasshoppers, centipedes, and other insects, the chicks aren’t just getting the nutrition they need to grow—they’re getting an arsenal. [Link]
The Onion » White Male Privilege Squandered On Job At Best Buy
HAMILTON, OH—Despite being the beneficiary of numerous societal advantages and having faced little to no major adversity throughout his life, local man Travis Benton has spent the last four years squandering his white male privilege on a sales floor… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Google then: Don't be evil. Google now: Funding $cientology anti-psychiatry front group [Stupid]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Thieves make clean getaway after stealing $18K of shower gel [Interesting]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Colorado Legalizes Medicinal Fireworks
DENVER—Establishing Colorado as a pioneer in recognizing the therapeutic benefits of explosions, a new law passed Tuesday will allow state residents with a doctor’s prescription to acquire small quantities of medicinal fireworks. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » A Brief History of Zubaz
Let’s take a look back at the hottest zebra-striped pants of the early '90s. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » On the one hand, birth defects can be frightening to parents, but on the other hand, this Chinese baby has convinced his father to take better care of his mother. On the third and fourth hands, the kid probably could have made a lot of Nikes [Strange
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » F@k yeah, America is exceptional, except when it comes to understanding science stuff. We pretty much suck at that [Sad]
[link] [139 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bar owner who didn't read the lease claims landlord won't let it become gay bar [Interesting]
[link] [109 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Obama administration releases photos proving that the 'pro-Russian activists' in Ukraine are, in fact, undercover Duck Dynasty stars [Obvious]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Breasts of Romania's former First Lady sent back to be rubbed down because they're too large [Strange]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 21, 2014
The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 21, 2014 
[Link]
Futility Closet » Podcast: Episode 6
The 1850s saw a strange experiment in the American West: The U.S. Army imported 70 camels for help in managing the country’s suddenly enormous hinterland. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll see how the animals acquitted themselves in an unfamiliar land under inexperienced human masters. We’ll also learn a surprising theory regarding the origin of zebra … [Link]
Mental Floss » 30 Things You Might Not Know About 'Cheers'
What you don’t know about the place where everybody knows your name. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Boy Scouts to Troop: "You think you won't enjoy scouting without your gay scoutmaster? Let's see how much you enjoy scouting when we reject your charter" [Followup]
[link] [174 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » shorty says FML
Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Taylor says FML
Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML [Link]
The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: Degree Of Separation
Degree Of Separation 
[Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Study: Casual Marijuana Use Can Still Cause Brain Abnormalities
Debunking the belief that casual pot smoking isn’t harmful, a recent study in The Journal of Neuroscience found that even smokers who light up once or twice a week have been shown to develop brain abnormalities. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » Does Moss Really Only Grow on the North Side of Trees?
The idea that moss grows on the north side of trees is an old one, says Dan Johnson of the College of Natural Resources at the University of Idaho, "and it makes a lot of sense." [Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: Math Square #212
Welcome to a new mentalfloss.com Brain Game challenge, Monday Math Square #212. Good luck! Place the digits 1 through 9 in the white blanks so that the mathematical equations work both across and down. Each digit 1 through 9 should appear only once in the main grid (the red square). 
Here is the SOLUTION. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Weekend news: Jodi Arias sues over contracting Hep C while in prison. Monday news: Yeah, about that "lawsuit"…neither Jodi nor her lawyer have any idea what you're talking about [Followup]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bad: Your neighborhood has a rash of break-ins. Good: People in your neighborhood start up a block watch. Fark: The KKK starts up your block watch. Includes photo of what a KKK block watch poster might look like [Unlikely]
[link] [250 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Aereo's argument to SCOTUS: "Look, let's face it. Broadcasters are gonna get hosed one way or the other. If we don't do it, someone else will. Don't harsh our mellow, dudes" [Followup]
[link] [207 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oscar Pistorious took acting lessons before he had to testify in court [Followup]
[link] [111 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Headlines that sound like MadLibs: "Arkansas ex-cop killed while trying to set anti-corruption blogger's hot dog cart on fire" [Strange]
[link] [56 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Men and Women Have Very Different Types of Nightmares
In the middle of a pleasant dream, something lurks in the shadows. Soon, the nonsensical reverie takes a dark turn and something starts stalking you. What is it? You wake, heart racing, breathing rapidly. That nightmare felt horrible, but was the terrible creature haunting your dream a masked killer or just your mom criticizing your clothing? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » For $3000 you can buy your own mini coffee shop on a cargo bike complete with a solar powered battery pack for brewing, a cold sink for ice, gas burners, a speaker system for music, and a parasol to keep the sun or rain off things [Spiffy]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » World’s Fastest Lawnmower
Clocked at 116 mph. Although I think a more relevant test would be how fast it can go while simultaneously cutting grass. More info at gizmag.com.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Iron Photoshop Ingredient: Pop-Tarts [Photoshop]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Easter services at SeaWorld feature scripture about Jesus Christ, Shamu, and Tim Tebow [Florida]
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Skydiver experiences malfunction of his special wing suit and makes unfortunate landing in the backyard of the Dye family during their Easter egg hunt. Friends say he was a good boy, loved his Mama, loved Jesus and America too [Sad]
[link] [107 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Johnson Smith Catalog Item #31
From the 1930s catalog. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 16 year old survives in wheel well of a flight from California to Maui and, aside from being an idiot, is completely fine [Dumbass]
[link] [105 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The sorry state of American beer [Sad]
[link] [203 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » kelly.duggan says FML
Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I texted my ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and asked him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Cargo Kittens
How did two kittens wind up in a box of fiberglass equipment shipped from L.A. to San Diego? No one knows, but they are now getting the best care available.
*
Celebrate 75 Years Of The Caped Crusader With This New Batman Beyond Short From Wondercon. You’ll recognize the Caped Crusader you know in there somewhere.
*
A slow-moving landslide … [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: "Burn" at the End
[Link]
FMyLife » allaturca says FML
Today, my husband called me at work to tell me how upset he is with me and how I've ruined his day. All because I ate a few chocolates from the bag that was in the fridge. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Building a stick fort in the woods is anti-social behavior, and police take that very seriously [PSA]
[link] [111 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » As God as my witness, I thought Easter eggs could fly [Amusing]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » HeyTherexxx says FML
Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 16 Delicious Facts About Peeps
There’s a lot you may not know about Peeps, everyone’s favorite (non-chocolate) Easter candy. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Internet broadcasting VS traditional broadcasters, and the decision will be made by… the Supreme Court? Well… crap [Interesting]
[link] [314 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Unquote
“Via ovicapitum dura est. The way of the egghead is hard.” — Adlai Stevenson [Link]
FMyLife » BetterThanChocolate says FML
Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Teenager shot after cutting in line at a Foot Locker where everyone was waiting to purchase some new shoes. Who knew Foot Locker was still around? [Dumbass]
[link] [224 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Easter morning sights: Families dressed up for church, Easter egg hunts in the park, ice cream truck driver beating the hell out of a rival ice cream vendor's vehicle…wait, what? [Amusing]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oscar Meyer pulls their wieners [PSA]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Easter weekend in Chicago sees 26 wounded and 9 dead [Followup]
[link] [134 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you've ever wondered why all babies, across all language and cultural barriers, love to play peekaboo, this is your lucky day [Interesting]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Remember 10 years ago when you bought your Mazda SUV and the salesman tried to push the rustproofing? [Fail]
[link] [97 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Eight killed while taking crash course in skydiving [Sad]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Florida neighbors upset about new park because: C) People might actually use it [Florida]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey" episode 7 discussion thread and drinking game. 9PM Eastern on Fox [Interesting]
[link] [306 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Not-pregnant says FML
Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this self-professed Hustle Man [Photoshop]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
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