Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Is this anything like when dad visits your college dorm to see why he's been paying top dollar for Fs? [Scary]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML [Link]
FMyLife » nemesandr26 says FML
Today, I wanted to prove to my dad that I can drive, so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helped him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You know it's going to be a weird day when a stranger wearing a black uniform and cap walks unannounced into your dorm room at 5:15 a.m. and informs you that your cab is ready [Weird]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 20 Excellent IKEA Hacks You Should Try
Make sure your home doesn't look like everyone else's by using some DIY know-how and hacks like these. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Paper covers rock, rock dulls scissors, scissors stab roommate [Dumbass]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Twitter account of US Airways crashed into a black hole of unknown origin, possibly due to a lack of a landing strip [Amusing]
[link] [181 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Beef Prices Highest In 27 Years
The average price of American beef has skyrocketed due to drought and increased demand from abroad, which may prompt restaurants to limit beef offerings or downsize portions of food. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Buy A Chicken Corsage For Prom
Surely This Is A Joke Is KFC really selling chicken corsages for high school proms??? * Spend the Night on Snake Island You’ve read about Snake Island here before. Now see video of the island’s history, learn about the legend that surrounds it, and watch people actually stay the night there. Just know that the video contains a little bit … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cliven Bundy: "I don't recognize [the] United States Government as even existing." In other news, fairies and unicorns impounded Bundy's cattle last week [Followup]
[link] [838 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's one thing to break into my home to take a shower. But did you have to take my lunch meat as well? [Florida]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New strain of performance-enhancing weed discovered [Obvious]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In today's "Ad disguised as a news article," Volvo shows off its new inflatable child-seat. Wait, that's actually pretty clever [Obvious]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » OMG are teens really getting high off bedbugs? Spoiler: No [Obvious]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » tinytiny1124 says FML
Today, I had to convince my 3-year-old son that there were monsters in the house just so he would lie in bed and cuddle me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 32 excuses worse than "the shoes will stretch", "the check's in the mail", and "Honey, I promise I'll warn you this time" [Unlikely]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A mini ice age? In MY global warming? It's more likely than you think [Interesting]
[link] [132 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these dressed up Warrior Dashers [Photoshop]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Man With No Plans Just Too Exhausted To Go Out
NORFOLK, VA—Cracking open a beer and settling into his couch Saturday night, local man Martin Burfette, who had no previously scheduled plans for the evening nor invitations to attend a social gathering of any kind, confirmed that he was simply too … 
[Link]
Mental Floss » An Ant Farm's Life in 3 Minutes
Get ready to feel way less productive. [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Non-Lincoln Facts About 'Our American Cousin'
This once-beloved comedy was suddenly transformed into the most notorious play ever written on April 14, 1865—the night John Wilkes Booth assassinated President Abraham Lincoln. [Link]
Mental Floss » The U.S. Map Distorted by Population
Look at poor Wyoming squeezed in there. [Link]
The Onion » Rival PGA Hooligans Clash During Final Round Of Masters
AUGUSTA, GA—Gathering in large groups and vociferously chanting expletive-filled songs in support of their favorite players, several groups of rival PGA hooligans violently clashed at the Augusta National Golf Club during the final round of the Mast… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man writes his own obituary, and it's shorter than this headline [Spiffy]
[link] [109 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Thai gambler dies after accidentally shooting himself in the testicles with a handgun he had concealed in his pants. Police unsure if the wound itself was fatal or the man just lost the will to live after the injury [Scary]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Advice article for people just getting into online gaming tells them to ignore the social aspects of the game because online trolls are scary. Up next: advice article for dealing with non-communicative noobs ruining your favorite online game [Stupid]
[link] [134 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: What Up, This Is Ice Cube And Today, After Weeks Of Delays, I’m Going To Take You On A Ride Along
What Up, This Is Ice Cube And Today, After Weeks Of Delays, I’m Going To Take You On A Ride Along 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Negative, Ghost Ridersky, the tower is full [Scary]
[link] [133 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So this is what Nate Silver is doing with his expanded staff and funding at 538.com: A statistical analysis of the work of Bob Ross [Amusing]
[link] [68 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: The Rising Cost Of Weddings
Here are some common costs that American couples incur at their weddings 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman regrets buying Neil Diamond album. FARK: because it cost her $4364 [Stupid]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Co-pilot of ill fated Malaysian plane made a "desperate call" before plane went missing. Nice of somebody to finally notice [Asinine]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » According to UK pageant organizers prancing around in front of their judges in high heels and bikini is perfectly wholesome, but tweeting a basically SFW topless photo of yourself to raise breast cancer awareness "brings shame upon the pageant
[link] [55 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Lab-grown vaginas, springtime in Toronto, and a man with three wishes: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/6 – 4/12 [FarkBlog]
[link] [3 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » *DING* You are now free to emerge from the lavatory soaking wet, and attempt to open the plane's door in mid-flight [Scary]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Protip: When stealing parts from a vehicle, ensure you also remove the dashcam [Dumbass]
[link] [12 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Margin Notes Left On Menu From Previous Ruby Tuesday Customer
Margin Notes Left On Menu From Previous Ruby Tuesday Customer 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pakistani cannibal arrested. This is not a repeat from 2011 when he was arrested and jailed on the same charges [Sick]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » And for today's weather in Michigan we will have…..EVERYTHING (Again) [Followup]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "He'd just paid $70,000 for eight dead squirrels wearing tiny boxing gloves" [Strange]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rare two toned lobster needs some melted butter and a Corona [Spiffy]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Seven things the human race should try to remember after we all become cyborgs [Interesting]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » OH man convicted of harassing his neighbor and her disabled children says being sentenced to holding a sign saying "I am a bully, I pick on children" was "unfair" and a case of somebody more powerful than him "ruining his life"
[link] [94 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Of course you are filling out all your tax forms correctly and not taking any dubious deductions. But just in case you make a teeny little mistake, the good news is your chances of getting audited haven't been this low since the '80s [Spiffy]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Onion Poll: Do You Believe Felons Should Have The Right To Vote?
The Onion – America's Finest News Source 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Climate change scientists say this is our Ben Affleck moment, whatever that means [Obvious]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Americans are "crazy, driven, hard working" but in France "they stroll home, stop by the cafe, take-August off". Cadillac's new "anti-French" video ad has not gone down well in France, of all places [Followup]
[link] [166 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 16 Google Easter Eggs You Might Have Missed
There are various hidden Easter Eggs, jokes, and little timewasters in almost every Google web service, product, or new device. [Link]
Mental Floss » Strange States: The Phantom of the Maine State Library
If you want to learn about someplace, you can always pick up a textbook. But if you want to get to know a place, you're going to have to dig a little deeper. And what you find there might be a little strange. The Strange States series will take you on a virtual tour of America to uncover the unusual … [Link]
Mental Floss » 20 Things You Might Not Know About 'Ghostbusters'
14. Production shut down Central Park West, and Isaac Asimov wasn't pleased. [Link]
The Onion » Parents Surprised Cruel Teen Daughter Hasn’t Pushed Classmate To Breaking Point Yet
RED BANK, NJ—Citing her relentless harassment of her peers, as well as her overall cruel and abrasive personality, the parents of local teen Lauren Hatcher expressed surprise Monday that the remorseless 15-year-old has yet to push a classmate past t… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Fear and Loathing in Public Bathrooms, or How I Learned to Hold My Pee [Amusing]
[link] [163 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: Math Square #211
Monday's here, and so is a new mentalfloss.com Brain Game challenge, Monday Math Square #211. Good luck! Place the digits 1 through 9 in the white blanks so that the mathematical equations work both across and down. Each digit 1 through 9 should appear only once in the main grid (the red square). 
Here is the SOLUTION. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you have a fatal reaction to bee stings, you have to carry an Epi-Pen, be aware of the presence of bees and act accordingly. Or you could say the hell with it and become a beekeeper because it's not like you're going to live forever [Spiff
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 14, 2014
The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 14, 2014 
[Link]
The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: Not-So-Good Friday
Not-So-Good Friday 
[Link]
Mental Floss » What’s Going on With the Philadelphia Accent?
I have been living in Philadelphia for 9 years now, and while I can tell a Philly accent when I hear one, I cannot figure out how to do it myself. [Link]
Futility Closet » Podcast: Episode 5
Henry Brown found a unique way to escape slavery: He mailed himself to Pennsylvania. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll accompany Brown on his perilous 1849 journey from Richmond to Philadelphia, follow a 5-year-old Idaho girl who was mailed to her grandparents in 1914, and delve deeper into a mysterious lion sighting in Illinois in 1917. … [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Americans Opting For Small Dogs Over Babies
According to an analysis of data from the Department of Health, the decreasing number of Americans having babies corresponds to an increase in the number of small dogs they own, with young women birthing 400,000 fewer children at the same time that small … 
[Link]
Mental Floss » There Once Was a Game Show Called Think Like a Cat
Cats are cute and sometimes cuddly, but no one would ever accuse them of being cooperative—which probably makes them less than ideal game show contestants. But that didn't deter Meow Mix and the Game Show Network from airing the first—and probably only—cat game show, Think Like a Cat, in November 2008. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Great Atari Landfill Expedition, intended to dig up thousands of copies of the worst video game ever made, will begin on April 26. This would be a good time to leave New Mexico. Actually, it's always a good time to leave New Mexico [Followup]
[link] [374 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Making the best of a bad situation, British politicians say that if Scotland becomes independent, it should take Northern Ireland and other unwanted, unattractive and ungovernable backwaters of the United Kingdom with it [Followup]
[link] [156 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Deadline for Eastern Ukraine to disarm has passed. Now we wait to see if the fecal matter impacts the whirling blades or not [Followup]
[link] [220 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "I always wanted to be famous. But I meant like Demi Lovato famous, not Osama bin Laden famous," says a teen who is just now realizing there are consequences to tweeting out prank terrorist threats [Followup]
[link] [106 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » White supremacist Glenn Miller identified in Kansas shootings. Authorities declining to say if shootings were a hate crime or if he was just in the mood [Followup]
[link] [241 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this patient player [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » teddyissmall says FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Having Banksy paint a mural on your property doubles the value of your house, in one of the only times graffiti has ever improved anything [Interesting]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Snail Cream
You no longer need to let snails crawl across your face to stay looking young. Because Charmzone is now selling Snail Wrinkle Recover Cream (available from Amazon for $59.99 a jar) 
Fark.com RSS » After 103 movies, porn star watches herself on film for the very first time. No, she's not faking it. (w/video – SFW) [Weird]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So about when you dined here March 30th. Well you might want to go get checked for hepatitis A. Yeah one of out waiters had it so now we have to call everyone just to let them know. Yeah, Yep. Totally our bad [Sick]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Don't you just hate it when your tee off time is pushed back because of an airplane on the 17th hole? [Strange]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » As the tourism season kicks into full swing in Japan, be on alert for wild deer that may charge at you before running into stores and smashing bottles [Weird]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Ling Ching Tong
The musician.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » It's really cool to make it on Forbes 'Rich List' for your first time. Until you realize making that list means you're an open target for the IRS [Scary]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ric Romero Institute study concludes the richest of the rich are amassing wealth at an astonishing rate and increasingly hiding it in offshore bank accounts [Obvious]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Fun Facts About "It's A Small World"
Disney's classic "It's A Small World" ride turned 50 this week! Here are a few facts to celebrate. [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Mini-Masters
The Masters Golf Tournament has been turned into a miniature golf competition. If this were real instead of a manipulated video, I’d actually watch golf on TV.
*
A new web series called CATastrophes works on the assumption that funny things happen when cats show up. It also promotes adoption from cat shelters.
*
The Facebook Baby Invasion Is Probably Just … [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Old School Telephony
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bride who pushed husband off cliff appeals her 30-year sentence, saying it's too steep [Obvious]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Smoking doobies, cutting up a magnifying glass, and translating text messages to semaphore – meet the new Scouting badges [Strange]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Turns out the KS shooter may have had some issues with Jewish people [Followup]
[link] [132 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So, here's a look at how many viruses have escaped from labs over the years–and how it could happen again. Sleep tight [Scary]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not News: Man is stabbed. News: In the neck. Fark: And he won't cooperate with the police [Dumbass]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » bummed says FML
Today, my family and I went on a hike to a local abandoned gold mine, with the hopes of being able to explore the caves. What we didn't expect was four miles of treacherous, rocky, near vertical trails that led to the mine. Once we finally got there, exhausted, it was blocked off for safety reasons. FML [Link]
FMyLife » ohmygod582 says FML
Today, I was walking around school alone and felt someone tap my back. I laughed and turned around to find no one was there. I felt confused when I felt the tapping again, which is when I chose to yell at the nearest person, "What?!" I later found out it was a bottle in my backpack tapping me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and Busted: People getting high. New hotness: Pets getting high [Stupid]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Unquote
“Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.” — J.M. Barrie From a letter by Isaac Asimov, July 20, 1965: You have a vacation when you do something you like better than your work. But there isn’t anything I like better than my work. My vacation therefore exists all year long — except when I am … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A look at what the death of Sears says about America [Sad]
[link] [260 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Family abducted by aliens. Need help to rent the space shuttle to rescue them [Florida]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New Navy destroyer has LASERS, stealth with optional rail gun, AC, GPS and XM radio [Cool]
[link] [115 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Munich sets up six nude zones in the city. Boobies uber alles [Hero]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Camper stands his ground against kayaker who happened to be paddling by [Asinine]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Seven babies found dead in Utah home (w/ "was that wrong?" mugshot) [Sick]
[link] [214 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Increase tax on my $1.79 two-liter of Pepsi by 22 cents? That's a .22-caliber submachine gun to the face and a threat to kill everyone in the convenience store [Scary]
[link] [196 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » -.- says FML
Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML [Link]
FMyLife » lax22 says FML
Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML [Link]
FMyLife » MisterGasMoney says FML
Today, my nephews discovered how to trick my washing machine into starting up while the door is still open. My laundry room is now flooded, and their mom refuses to accept any responsibility for it. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey" episode 6 discussion thread and drinking game. 9PM Eastern on Fox [Interesting]
[link] [291 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » These Adorably Confused Kids Have No Idea What A Walkman Is
Hand any of these kids an iPod, and they know exactly what to do with it. Hand them a Walkman, however, and they won't even know what it is. Or what it does. Or how to use it. As you can see in this new video from the Fine Bros. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this pink and blue pair [Photoshop]
[link] [16 comments] [Link]
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