John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 7 April 23:45:13 UTC 2014

Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 7 April 23:45:12 UTC 2014

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When planning to carjack someone it helps if a) you take the car, and b) you and victim don't know each other [PSA]

Monday 7 April 23:18:09 UTC 2014

PSA [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Christians have officially become second-class citizens in the nation's largest city" [Sad]

Monday 7 April 23:17:17 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [244 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The myths about women who have a lot of sex with people other than you [Interesting]

Monday 7 April 23:12:49 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chili's support of the National Autism Association proves mercurial [Followup]

Monday 7 April 23:04:57 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Watch These Big Cats Unravel Toilet Paper

Monday 7 April 22:45:00 UTC 2014

In many ways, big cats are just like their domestic counterparts: They like boxes. They go totally nuts for catnip. And as this latest video from Big Cat Rescue shows, they're also into making big messes by unraveling toilet paper. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former starship captain narrates junk science movie bankrolled by notorious anti-semite. WTF IS THIS SH*T? [Stupid]

Monday 7 April 22:16:21 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [313 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for DUI while wearing dumbest possible shirt [Dumbass]

Monday 7 April 21:32:14 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Weird and Wonderful Bird Nests

Monday 7 April 21:30:00 UTC 2014

It’s spring, and baby birds will soon be chirping in trees and rain gutters. But not all bird nests are created equal. Whether from mud, leaves, or saliva, here are 10 birds that make some of the most astounding structures in nature. [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: ‘Captain America’ Smashes Box-Office Records

Monday 7 April 21:30:00 UTC 2014

Disney’s 3D superhero film sequel Captain America: The Winter Soldier smashed box-office records for the month of April with a $96 million opening weekend.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you drop off a gunshot four-year-old and her mom at the ER, you may as well just hang around. The police are going to want a chat [Scary]

Monday 7 April 21:17:59 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New study shows that the less likely an American is to know where Ukraine is on a map, the more likely he is to want to intervene militarily there [Dumbass]

Monday 7 April 21:16:01 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wild turkey and Audis don't mix [PSA]

Monday 7 April 21:12:08 UTC 2014

PSA [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finally, a teenager responsible enough to get to work on time, even if he has to steal a plane and land it on the road in front of his job [Dumbass]

Monday 7 April 21:08:29 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Legalized marijuana in the US pushes Mexican cartels to increase heroin production. It was either that or find a way to compete with Funyuns [Obvious]

Monday 7 April 21:05:53 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this special effect [Photoshop]

Monday 7 April 20:00:39 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Digging For E.T.

Monday 7 April 20:00:00 UTC 2014

E.T. Landfill Home The world may soon finally know if a New Mexico landfill is the final resting place of a bunch of E.T. Atari cartridges. The people demand to know. * Worth Way More Than 1000 Words Every one of these photographs is endlessly fascinating and illustrate just how much things have (or haven’t) changed. * Lego My Coffee … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sometimes when you start dating a woman you're going to have make a choice between her and the annual Renaissance Faire [Obvious]

Monday 7 April 19:44:35 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [276 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Man Begins Life In New City By Taking Last Ever Walk Around Neighborhood

Monday 7 April 19:40:00 UTC 2014

CHICAGO—Peeking into the windows of local bakeries and coffee shops and making a mental note of all the area’s nearby businesses, new resident Tom Cohen settled into his surroundings Monday by going on his last ever walk around his neighborhoo…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you climb atop a building, break a skylight and drop a ladder into a residence before falling and breaking your leg, pleading not guilty to burglary seems a bit of a stretch, doesn't it? [Dumbass]

Monday 7 April 19:34:07 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [34 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Buster Olney Breaks In New Microphone By Tucking It Under Mattress For Night

Monday 7 April 19:30:00 UTC 2014

BRISTOL, CT—Stressing that he has used the same method for years and is always pleased with the results, ESPN baseball analyst Buster Olney confirmed Monday that he breaks in a new microphone by tucking it tightly beneath his mattress before going t…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just in case you've ever wondered, computer bugs cannot be killed with fire [Florida]

Monday 7 April 19:27:12 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Guy who has been fighting a murder conviction for almost 30 years, claiming he was framed by infamous Boston Mobster James "Whitey" Bulger, is getting help on his case from an unexpected source: James "Whitey" Bulger himself [Interest

Monday 7 April 19:27:01 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: Using a coffee shop as your personal office space for freelancing. New slackiness: Using a bar as your personal office space for freelancing. " The espresso machines and music are usually way too loud" [Silly]

Monday 7 April 19:20:19 UTC 2014

Silly [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How to Bid at an Art Auction

Monday 7 April 19:15:00 UTC 2014

Presented by Lexus. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Try our donuts, now with convenient 24 hour drive through service [Dumbass]

Monday 7 April 19:08:16 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well, this explains a lot: Florida wasn't originally part of the Americas and is just tacked on [Obvious]

Monday 7 April 19:07:41 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good news: girl in Ghana didn't die from ebola. Bad News: it was some other unkonwn exotic virus that causes internal bleeding and death [Sick]

Monday 7 April 19:04:57 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Toyota has begun a massive re-tooling of their factories designed to make them competitive in the 21st century and produce higher quality cars more efficiently by replacing…. robots, with humans? Wait. Can that be right? [Interesting]

Monday 7 April 19:02:51 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Calling all cars, calling all cars, we're getting reports of a crime spree in midtown Palo Alto. Suspect is agitated and naked, repeat, suspect is naked [Dumbass]

Monday 7 April 18:58:33 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [18 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Weeping Willow Gets Bangs

Monday 7 April 18:55:00 UTC 2014

Weeping Willow Gets Bangs
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cinema closes because of flooding… Fark: On the first screening of Noah [Amusing]

Monday 7 April 18:54:33 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Family that had to be rescued at sea is proud of their decision to risk the lives of their children and all those involved in rescuing them [Followup]

Monday 7 April 18:51:38 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You'll never guess what is happening to a South American tribe who white people only discovered 10 years ago? That's right, they're all dying [Sad]

Monday 7 April 18:41:39 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Precision drone strike successfully takes out extremist triathlete. Thanks Obama [Strange]

Monday 7 April 18:40:47 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [9 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 20 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About the A-Team

Monday 7 April 18:37:40 UTC 2014

1. The exact nature of the “crime they didn’t commit.” In 1972, the A-Team was sent on a covert mission to rob the Bank of Hanoi of gold bullion, with the intent of helping to end the Vietnam War. They succeeded, only to find that their commanding officer had been murdered in a traitorous double-cross and his headquarters burned to … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Could somebody please explain why a small town police department in southeastern Iowa needs a fully armored military vehicle designed to prowl a desert war zone? "I just think it's a great way to help the taxpayers" [Strange]

Monday 7 April 18:05:19 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [148 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Peaches creamed [News]

Monday 7 April 18:00:43 UTC 2014

News [link] [336 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why Some Baseball Records Will Never Be Broken (And Which Ones Might)

Monday 7 April 18:00:00 UTC 2014

If there's anyone who is qualified to comment on the evolution of rules and conditions in baseball, it's John Thorn. He is a prolific writer on the history of the game and the Official Baseball Historian for Major League Baseball. I talked to Thorn about some of the conventionally considered "unbreakable" baseball records and what makes them unbreakable—or if they … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police request that the druid or druids responsible for creating SmartCarhenge in San Francisco please knock it off [Amusing]

Monday 7 April 17:57:42 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Niijima Island hungry… OM NOM NOM [Scary]

Monday 7 April 17:51:24 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [22 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Physician Shoots Off A Few Adderall Prescriptions To Improve Yelp Rating

Monday 7 April 17:50:00 UTC 2014

REDDING, CA—Noting that his practice’s rating on the business review website had dipped to just 3.5 stars, local primary care provider Dr.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Large mumps outbreak at tOSU tied to anti-vaxxers. With helpful picture of two smallpox victims from the 1930s [Strange]

Monday 7 April 17:48:01 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [135 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Masseuse snatches Rolex, Chinese may have found range to MH370 with one ping only, and the Gary Busey Hypothesis: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/30 – 4/5 [FarkBlog]

Monday 7 April 17:46:55 UTC 2014

FarkBlog [link] [3 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Onion Poll: Should Companies Be Required To Cover Birth Control In Their Health Insurance Policies?

Monday 7 April 17:30:00 UTC 2014

The Onion – America's Finest News Source
[Link]

The Onion » Immigrant Also Applying To A Few Reach Countries

Monday 7 April 17:30:00 UTC 2014

LUANG PRABANG, LAOS—Noting that his consular officer said it couldn’t hurt to take a chance on a few long shots, prospective immigrant Soukan Chitmany told reporters Monday that, in addition to applying for permanent residence in a number of m…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kenneth Miller who wrote the biology textbook that is most often attacked by "creationists" has just won the Vatican's Laetare Medal, given to a Catholic "whose genius has ennobled the arts and sciences, … and enriched the heritage

Monday 7 April 17:22:31 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Podcast: Episode 4

Monday 7 April 17:11:14 UTC 2014

In 1896 a strange wave of airship sightings swept Northern California; the reports of strange lights in the sky created a sensation that would briefly engulf the rest of the country. In this week’s episode of the Futility Closet podcast we’ll examine some of the highlights of this early “UFO” craze, including the mysterious role of a San Francisco attorney … [Link]

Mental Floss » 25 Amazing Facts for National Beer Day

Monday 7 April 16:55:24 UTC 2014

Today is National Beer Day! Celebrate with a little beer history. [Link]

The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 7, 2014

Monday 7 April 16:45:00 UTC 2014

The Week In Pictures – Week Of April 7, 2014
[Link]

FMyLife » doemetoch says FML

Monday 7 April 16:44:05 UTC 2014

Today, I really needed to be cheered up a bit after having had a horrible, depressing weekend. Luckily the guy I've been dating for some time, and who I really like, invited me over for dinner. Apparently, he wanted to see me so he could tell me he thinks we should stop seeing each other. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ducks? In MY chimney? It's more likely than you think [Silly]

Monday 7 April 16:07:25 UTC 2014

Silly [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 10 beers you've never heard of but should drink, just so you can tell people, "You've probably never heard of it, but" [Amusing]

Monday 7 April 16:02:09 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kentucky's "Ink Prophet" is 40 minutes away from having the coolest tattoo ever [Followup]

Monday 7 April 15:59:35 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [121 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This may come as a surprise to Farkers since most observe this daily, but today the rest of the country is celebrating National Beer Day [Spiffy]

Monday 7 April 15:59:11 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Florida tag shares honors with Tennessee: Man convicted of 13th DUI — after being charged with 14th DUI [Florida]

Monday 7 April 15:56:03 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sales of diet sodas plummet as health concerns rise [Interesting]

Monday 7 April 15:55:36 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [142 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: That's All She Rotor

Monday 7 April 15:50:00 UTC 2014

That's All She Rotor
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hundreds of residents chase Westboro protesters out of Oklahoma town [Hero]

Monday 7 April 15:35:05 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [212 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Study: Morning Light Can Help You Lose Body Fat

Monday 7 April 15:30:00 UTC 2014

According to a new study, people who regularly expose themselves to early morning sunlight by waking up early are more likely to have a lower body mass index.
[Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Math Square #210

Monday 7 April 14:47:43 UTC 2014

Say hello to a brand spanking new mentalfloss.com Brain Game challenge, Monday Math Square #209. Good luck! Place the digits 1 through 9 in the white blanks so that the mathematical equations work both across and down. Each digit 1 through 9 should appear only once in the main grid (the red square). Here is the SOLUTION. [Link]

Mental Floss » Can People Shower or Swim With Electronic House Arrest Ankle Monitors?

Monday 7 April 14:30:00 UTC 2014

People under house arrest, on parole, or on probation are often made to wear electronic monitoring ankle bracelets. According to Prison Legal News, there are around 200,000 people wearing these devices today. While some argue electronic monitoring helps reduce prison populations, others fear the nascent legal framework hasn't been under enough scrutiny. Strapping an electric tether on people raises a … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who created a megachurch resigns over "moral failing." Which is usually code for "homosexual affair" or "child porn" [Florida]

Monday 7 April 14:10:11 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark is ruining your brain [Obvious]

Monday 7 April 14:10:07 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » More and more women are taking up arms and playing paintball [Florida]

Monday 7 April 14:09:15 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's all fun and games 'til Cookie Monster is setting fire to a effigy at a neo Nazi rally in Germany [Strange]

Monday 7 April 14:09:09 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Botanists, boffins baffled by space cherry tree grown from pit brought to ISS by Japanese astronaut. "Current science can offer no answer for the unusually fast growth of the space cherries" [Weird]

Monday 7 April 14:07:57 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What drinks not to order in presence of opposite sex: Cosmopolitan, anything -tini, Long Island Tea, anything with crudely suggestive name, and Guinness: "I don't want to kiss someone who tastes like rotten cream" [Obvious]

Monday 7 April 14:06:37 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [171 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Budget includes "fertility control for wild-horse fertility control." Sounds thorough [Amusing]

Monday 7 April 14:01:19 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Half-marathon organisers cancel race due to lack of water stations, learn that you can't actually do much to stop 4,000 people running on public roads [Fail]

Monday 7 April 13:59:59 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Know you're in love with that special someone but not sure how to confess it? Since this is Japan, just fill out this government love declaration form and you're done, and the government hopes you have some babies ASAP [Weird]

Monday 7 April 13:56:20 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mormon leader outlines opposition to gay marriage. No word on if he read it out of a hat [Dumbass]

Monday 7 April 13:54:50 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Peter Matthiessen passes away at 86 to play in some fields somewhere [Sad]

Monday 7 April 13:49:59 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'm not saying she's a terrible doctor, but she missed a pregnancy AND a broken neck [Fail]

Monday 7 April 13:48:25 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police capture and arrest Angry Bird [Dumbass]

Monday 7 April 13:47:00 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Atheists : we will defeat Mormonism with our power walk. Fear our mighty strides [Unlikely]

Monday 7 April 13:46:22 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australian man attempts to integrate Vegemite into iconic Philippine dish of pork adobo. "Besides, what could go wrong – I've been fortifying my Mexican chilli con carne with Vegemite for years" [Sick]

Monday 7 April 13:46:00 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two die in small plane crash in Florida. While shooting a zombie movie [Florida]

Monday 7 April 13:45:30 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » During the Cold War, the CIA weaponized "Doctor Zhivago," because the penis mightier than the sword [Interesting]

Monday 7 April 13:45:05 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [5 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Jesus never had a toilet" declares reverend as he announces plans for 1,000-year-old church to get its first ever lavatory, much to the quite literal relief of elderly congregation [Amusing]

Monday 7 April 13:43:26 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Brazil's hottest security guard works in São Paulo subway, is often prevented from doing his work by fangirls who saw his Instagram and take the subway in hopes of running into him and getting a photo op [Amusing]

Monday 7 April 13:39:56 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bald man with a beard easily goes through airport security… by using his girlfriend's passport [Fail]

Monday 7 April 13:29:54 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pistorius stumps for forgiveness [Followup]

Monday 7 April 13:28:15 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop man's best carjacker [Photoshop]

Monday 7 April 13:00:39 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Va-rice-ity

Monday 7 April 12:57:22 UTC 2014

Serve him plain rice and nothing else. He won't expect that.

The ads were part of a 1969 campaign by the Rice Council of America.


[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Finding the pingers from MH370 on the last day of battery life would be like throwing a dart out of an airplane at a dartboard you knew was on the ground somewhere in Nevada. Hey, whadya know – BULLSEYE [Unlikely]

Monday 7 April 12:57:17 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tomorrow is Draw a Bird Day. You have been warned [Spiffy]

Monday 7 April 12:35:47 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chinese industry has lifted 500 million out of poverty, only to suffocate them with toxic smog. China faces a tough decision – 1. Slow down their economy to ease pollution, lose jobs and face unrest. OR 2. Carry on as normal and stop breathing [Ironi

Monday 7 April 12:31:34 UTC 2014

Ironic [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NASDAQ slumps on news that your app translating Shakespeare into dog isn't worth more than the GDP of most countries [Obvious]

Monday 7 April 12:18:02 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [14 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » trp007 says FML

Monday 7 April 11:33:25 UTC 2014

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Sorry, Charlie

Monday 7 April 11:27:58 UTC 2014

[Link]

Weird Universe » English for Dirty Houses

Monday 7 April 11:21:26 UTC 2014

I'm never inviting this woman to my house again! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tennessee to approve free community college for all high school grads. Kudos to the left. Reasons why it wouldn't work in your state to the right [Spiffy]

Monday 7 April 11:20:59 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [124 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man who dined and dashed in 1941 decides it's time to pay his bill and apologize [Spiffy]

Monday 7 April 10:39:23 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: 2001: A Space Odyssey Trivia

Monday 7 April 10:00:53 UTC 2014

25 Things You Didn’t Know About 2001: A Space Odyssey. You already know how totally confusing the movie is.
*
After such a harsh winter, you may think your plants are all dead. Here are some tips to salvage your garden.
*
Sarah Forbes Bonetta was a West African child who was orphaned by war in 1849. Then her life took … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A look at why doctors and nurses will continue to use pen and paper instead of modern technological marvels like tablets and computers [Interesting]

Monday 7 April 9:23:00 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [84 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 7 April 8:50:48 UTC 2014

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teen suspended from school for twirling pencil. WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END? [Asinine]

Monday 7 April 8:11:00 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [103 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 7 April 8:08:11 UTC 2014

Today, I was walking my dog, and she pooped on the lawn of an apartment building. I forgot a bag to pick it up with, so I was going to leave it, until the janitor spotted me and told me I had to pick it up with my bare hands, and he would stay until I did so. I ended … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Another top banking figure is found dead, this time with his wife and daughter. There is a storm coming [Interesting]

Monday 7 April 7:09:00 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [145 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Grave Matters

Monday 7 April 6:45:43 UTC 2014

In 1554 Sir James Hales drowned himself. The coroner returned a verdict of felo de se, meaning that Sir James was guilty of the felony of self-murder. His estate was forfeited to the crown, which planned to award it to one Cyriac Petit. Sir James’ widow, Margaret, contested this. So the case turned on the question whether the grounds for … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Are you carefully storing your fruits and vegetables after buying them? Well, you're probably doing it wrong [Interesting]

Monday 7 April 6:19:00 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mother whose daughter was killed during the Rwanda genocide has forgiven the man that killed her, so much so that they are now friends and live near each other and shop at the same market. I smell a new buddy comedy in the works [Interesting]

Monday 7 April 5:54:00 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [33 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 7 April 4:36:06 UTC 2014

Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 7 April 4:36:05 UTC 2014

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Carrabba's founder has the best weekend ever: gets arrested twice and is caught on camera wielding a hammer [Amusing]

Monday 7 April 4:30:00 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The goggles, they do something [Obvious]

Monday 7 April 3:11:59 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [82 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 7 April 3:09:23 UTC 2014

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're selling illegal drugs in Nebraska, you better have state-issued drug tax stamps. It doesn't make the drug sales legal, but you can be charged for not having one [Asinine]

Monday 7 April 2:02:39 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: Attempted mugging in Detroit. News: Victim fights back. FARK: Victim is 72-year-old man with a cane [Hero]

Monday 7 April 1:11:46 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Q

Monday 7 April 1:00:00 UTC 2014

Miller's latest series, Deadbeat, follows hapless medium Kevin Pacalioglu as he helps ghosts while trying (and failing) to get his own life together; Hulu will drop its first season on April 9. We talked to Miller about the benefits of binge watching, the end of appointment television, and whipping up the perfect recipe for ghosts. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Appalachia: "Hey, there's more to offer here than just blind kids playing banjo, and filthy, haggard, sunken-eyed, inbred chain smokers living in abject poverty" [Unlikely]

Monday 7 April 0:45:55 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [172 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Theme: Unlikely scientific discoveries [Photoshop]

Monday 7 April 0:00:39 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [27 comments] [Link]

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