John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » "Labiaplasty" is a thing, apparently (Not safe for work image in article) [Sick]

Wednesday 2 April 23:46:34 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [237 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » This Is What a Never-Ending Baseball Game Would Be Like

Wednesday 2 April 23:46:33 UTC 2014

Baseball is a restrictive sport—players are literally fenced in, batters stay in a box, and runners must stick to a path. That extra innings can amass ad infinitum and a game could conceivably last forever is counterintuitive to the nature of the game itself, yet it's the most interesting thing about it. I think about it any time a game … [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Vintage Internet Ads Begging You to Get Online

Wednesday 2 April 23:46:26 UTC 2014

From a time when ISPs actually had to sell people on the idea of using the Internet. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Headline: MARIJUANA DEATH in Colorado. Article: Dumbass fell off a balcony while stoned [Stupid]

Wednesday 2 April 23:45:24 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Whoever climbed a ladder to take the 120-pound chime from a church steeple in Kingman, Arizona really has some brass bells [Strange]

Wednesday 2 April 23:42:16 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A waitress who draws a smiley-face on a customer's check will get a better tip. But a waiter who does the same thing, it turns out, will just be thought of as kind of creepy [Interesting]

Wednesday 2 April 23:40:50 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's one thing to block the way of a charter bus that shuttles employees to their high paying tech jobs, but do you also have to vomit all over the windshield? [Sick]

Wednesday 2 April 23:39:44 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photographer captures evidence of 11 year old child-bride's wedding ceremony [Cool]

Wednesday 2 April 23:34:36 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Neil deGrasse Tyson will speak at Omaha Pastafarians conference. No word yet on whether he will wear the required pirate regalia [Amusing]

Wednesday 2 April 23:28:12 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "He called me to come and look, and I said, 'Bubba that looks like a baby chupacabra'" [Weird]

Wednesday 2 April 23:26:41 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Amazing Floating Things

Wednesday 2 April 22:30:00 UTC 2014

We’ll All Float On A cool thing isn’t truly cool until it is floating in water. Confused? Just check out these awesomely-buoyant attractions. * Sorry, Walt Disney Freezing yourself is not the ideal way to achieve immortality. Oh, and about Walt’s supposed frozen corpse. * Science Explains: How to Be Lucky Turn yours around in four short steps. * Dali … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Active shooting situation at Fort Hood. Again. Link goes to live stream [NewsFlash]

Wednesday 2 April 22:29:44 UTC 2014

NewsFlash [link] [1031 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Evolution of the Lightsaber

Wednesday 2 April 22:23:26 UTC 2014

Here's a fifteen-minute film showing exactly how the galaxy's coolest laser-sword was created. [Link]

FMyLife » Sad Nerd says FML

Wednesday 2 April 21:55:25 UTC 2014

Today, I discovered that the laser disc player I used to have was not in fact a laser disc player but a Pioneer Laseractive. Broken ones sell on eBay for $200 and working ones sell for around $1000. I sold a working one for less than $100-worth of credit at a second-hand store. FML [Link]

FMyLife » IcyWinter says FML

Wednesday 2 April 21:55:24 UTC 2014

Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Earthquakes prompt fears over the Ring of Fire, causing people to I'm not even going to finish this thought because you're singing the Johnny Cash song in your head [Obvious]

Wednesday 2 April 21:46:01 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vladimir Putin divorces his wife of 30 years so he can spend more time with his horse or doing judo or his gymnast friend who is incredibly flexible according to the article [Interesting]

Wednesday 2 April 21:41:58 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Group says burning biomass for energy is as bad as coal, which, if you think about it, is just really old biomass [Interesting]

Wednesday 2 April 21:36:57 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Millennials are sexual vultures. Please, carrion [Interesting]

Wednesday 2 April 21:35:08 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Don't look now, but Russia has moved all the troops and armor they need to invade the Ukraine right to the border [Obvious]

Wednesday 2 April 21:34:22 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Way to go Turkey, wage war on the Internet and then escalate it by trying to ban the most powerful force on the web: Cats [Amusing]

Wednesday 2 April 21:33:53 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [8 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Michael Jackson Album To Feature New Songs

Wednesday 2 April 21:30:00 UTC 2014

Epic Records has announced their plan to release a new album from late singer Michael Jackson called Xscape, which will feature eight previously unreleased songs.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Leaving the toilet seat up will not only get you in trouble with your wife, it may also help convict you of murder [Strange]

Wednesday 2 April 21:25:12 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Comcast apologizes for their crappiest advertising campaign ever [Sick]

Wednesday 2 April 21:22:01 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In a story made for Fark, student arrested for breaking into a building while drunk, eating half a box of Hot Pockets, and passing out while eating Drumsticks. Bonus: Blew a .106 the next morning [Dumbass]

Wednesday 2 April 21:21:41 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The weapons of the Leland Yee scandal. For the record, this means that CNN has now been scooped on a political scandal by Popular Mechanics [Interesting]

Wednesday 2 April 21:17:53 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » World War II deaths = 60,000,007 [Sad]

Wednesday 2 April 21:15:57 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Spring is the time of rejuvenation: The sun comes out, the trees start to bud, and the snow begins to melt, uncovering all the hypodermic needles on the streets and sidewalks [Scary]

Wednesday 2 April 21:15:07 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [7 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dog escapes Texas, only to find itself in Ohio four days later [Strange]

Wednesday 2 April 20:48:43 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [37 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Report: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers White 23-Year-Old American Males

Wednesday 2 April 20:40:00 UTC 2014

WASHINGTON—Following a comprehensive two-year linguistic survey, a report published Wednesday in the academic journal Language revealed that 58 percent of Japanese speakers worldwide are 23-year-old white men from the United States.
[Link]

The Onion » Infographic: Tips For Getting In Shape

Wednesday 2 April 20:30:00 UTC 2014

With swimsuit season on the horizon, Americans across the nation are working hard to get their bodies in peak physical fitness for summer.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Entry-level jobs are a great way to teach young adults about responsibility, following instructions, the joy of earning a paycheck, and how to fend off horny older men trying to have sex with you [Sad]

Wednesday 2 April 20:29:50 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hey everyone, it's now healthy to eat bacon and eggs and potatoes and whole-milk yogurt for breakfast while washing it down with a jug of coffee [Spiffy]

Wednesday 2 April 20:19:37 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman thinks she has a stomach ache, actually has a baby [Dumbass]

Wednesday 2 April 20:16:41 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bad photoshop in a news article of the day: Wolves [Amusing]

Wednesday 2 April 20:00:59 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop what happens next [Photoshop]

Wednesday 2 April 20:00:39 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Study Finds Earth Located In Lamest Part Of Universe

Wednesday 2 April 19:30:00 UTC 2014

PARIS—Citing factors ranging from the dumb, ugly asteroid belt separating the terrestrial planets from the gas giants, to the super-boring and practically empty interstellar medium extending in nearly every direction, new research published Wednesda…
[Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Surprisingly Smart Birds

Wednesday 2 April 19:12:27 UTC 2014

Next time someone tries to put you down by calling you "bird brain," make them think again by introducing them to these 11 wickedly smart avians. [Link]

Mental Floss » 21 Things You Might Not Have Known About Raiders of the Lost Ark

Wednesday 2 April 19:12:26 UTC 2014

1. Indy was born in Hawaii. Producer George Lucas first told director Steven Spielberg about his idea for Raiders of the Lost Ark when they were both on vacation in Hawaii in May 1977. Spielberg got away for the weekend from finishing up post-production on his now-classic film Close Encounters of the Third Kind while Lucas wanted to get to … [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Fantastic French Phrases for Baseball Terms

Wednesday 2 April 19:12:25 UTC 2014

Montreal Expos broadcasters had to translate the lexicon of America's pastime into French. [Link]

Mental Floss » This Carnivorous Plant Uses A Catapult

Wednesday 2 April 19:12:24 UTC 2014

Carnivorous plants are pretty awesome, taking revenge on the animal kingdom for our plant-eating ways, but they lack a certain sense of the dramatic. There’s no comparing the theatrics of a cheetah chasing down an antelope and biting into its neck to a venus fly trap just sitting there and snapping shut around an unsuspecting fly. [Link]

Mental Floss » Correction

Wednesday 2 April 19:12:18 UTC 2014

In January of 2013, we published a piece on cheating in sports. The story included a section on the 1985 British Open, where a Scottish player was disqualified and subsequently banned from the sport for repeatedly moving his ball to a better lie during qualifying. His name was David Robertson. Regrettably, the photo we used with our story was not … [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Animals With Amazing Prosthetics

Wednesday 2 April 19:12:16 UTC 2014

Think artificial limbs are only for those of us with opposable thumbs and language skills? Think again. Thanks to technology, innovation, and a little bit of luck, animals who have lost paws, flippers, beaks, and tails can use modern prosthetics to make amazing comebacks. [Link]

The Onion » Nation Already Sick Of Baseball

Wednesday 2 April 19:10:00 UTC 2014

WASHINGTON—With the MLB season still less than a week old, millions of weary Americans across the country confirmed Wednesday that they were already sick of baseball.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man steals subwoofer off front porch. Anyone with information is asked to tweet cops [Stupid]

Wednesday 2 April 18:52:07 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: Man, 83, fights off three attackers. Fark: Has his car stolen the next day [Florida]

Wednesday 2 April 18:47:45 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Italian factory worker spends $20 on two nice painting he sees at an unclaimed property auction, ends up hanging previously stolen Gauguin and Bonnard masterpieces, collectively worth about $30 million on his kitchen wall for 40 years [Interesting]

Wednesday 2 April 18:43:55 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 400 female inmates escape during Chile earthquake. If there isn't a movie about this, there should be… giggity [Misc]

Wednesday 2 April 18:33:58 UTC 2014

Misc [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Most Interesting Comics of the Week

Wednesday 2 April 18:30:00 UTC 2014

This week's most interesting comics include a new Aquaman book and two comics with a very similar premise. [Link]

Futility Closet » Night Crossing

Wednesday 2 April 18:29:15 UTC 2014

In late March 1938, Antonio Carrelli received a letter and a telegram in short succession. Both were from Ettore Majorana, the brilliant Italian physicist who had recently joined the faculty of the Naples Physics Institute, where Carrelli was director. The letter read, “Dear Carrelli, I made a decision that has become unavoidable. There isn’t a bit of selfishness in it, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You and your 16 year old bud are on vacation in Florida. Do you A: Go to Disney World B: Hit the malls C: Stop by a Chinese massage parlor for a quick one only to get busted by the vice cops [Florida]

Wednesday 2 April 18:24:01 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Twenty years ago, it was mathematically possible to work your way through college with a minimum-wage job. Now? Not so much [Obvious]

Wednesday 2 April 18:16:55 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [283 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If anyone can tell the difference between good cocaine and bad cocaine, it's a Fox News anchor [Amusing]

Wednesday 2 April 18:15:14 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [41 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Increasing Number Of Men Pressured To Accept Realistic Standards Of Female Beauty

Wednesday 2 April 18:10:00 UTC 2014

NEW YORK—Confronted on a regular basis with images of women who represent a diverse array of body types, a growing number of American men are reportedly feeling pressured to accept the increasingly realistic standards of female beauty now depicted i…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: City tractor at construction site left with keys in it; News: Man finds said tractor and takes it on a joy ride through downtown; Fark: And picks up two women for the ride [Amusing]

Wednesday 2 April 18:08:58 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Authorities have not given any clue as to why the man was riding a bike with a dining room chair strapped to his back" [Strange]

Wednesday 2 April 18:06:04 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The giant squid are marching…. er, squidding, on Tokyo [Scary]

Wednesday 2 April 18:01:36 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Great news: there is a new drug on the market that cures 95% of Hepatitis C patients, saving them from liver transplants or liver cancer. Not-so-great news: it costs $1,000 a day and has to be taken for 12 weeks [Interesting]

Wednesday 2 April 17:59:22 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ukrainian police investigation of far-right-winger killed in shootout with Ukrainian police has determined Ukrainian police were not at fault. No, he shot himself. Twice [Obvious]

Wednesday 2 April 17:59:07 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » London: France's sixth-biggest city [Strange]

Wednesday 2 April 17:52:15 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Men who smoke regularly before age 11 have fatter sons. And a few other issues I would think [Fail]

Wednesday 2 April 17:52:12 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jailed 27-year-old murderer becomes Britain's youngest grandfather ever. Mississippi and West Virginia say "heck, we got hundreds like that" [Dumbass]

Wednesday 2 April 17:39:30 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A Sahara dust storm prompts serious health warning for asthmatics, which begs the question: WHY THE HELL ARE THERE ASTHMATICS WALKING IN THE DESERT? [Scary]

Wednesday 2 April 17:38:17 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "We have gone from a really catastrophic water situation to just a very bad one" [Spiffy]

Wednesday 2 April 17:38:06 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [17 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 2 April 17:30:33 UTC 2014

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML [Link]

The Onion » EPA Announces New Initiative To Conserve Whatever’s Left

Wednesday 2 April 17:30:00 UTC 2014

WASHINGTON—In an effort to forestall the nation’s decline in biodiversity and ecological resources, representatives from the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency announced an expansive new initiative Wednesday aimed at the conservation of whatever’s left.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Telling employee they can have your business if they get 100,000 likes on Facebook = funny. Watching numbers race towards the target, not so much [Silly]

Wednesday 2 April 17:20:32 UTC 2014

Silly [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police investigate story of woman in distress find man with goats in car. Man released after it was determined their relationship was consensual [Strange]

Wednesday 2 April 17:20:10 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » World's oldest weather report discovered, immediately proceeded by the world's oldest complaint about the weather report [Interesting]

Wednesday 2 April 17:20:00 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Part 2 of The Boy with the McDonald's Tattoo [Followup]

Wednesday 2 April 17:16:45 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You would feel much more creative at work and wouldn't have the need to troll Fark all day if only your boss asked more unusual questions or took you out skydiving [Obvious]

Wednesday 2 April 17:15:35 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [3 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » China experiences "breakup boom" with 10,000 divorces a day. Phrase of the day in fortune cookies is now "conscious uncoupling" [Fail]

Wednesday 2 April 17:11:40 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Meh: Woman writes books about her childhood. Fark: Using the files kept by the Romanian secret police on her and her family [Hero]

Wednesday 2 April 17:10:22 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Flight 370's passengers have all been officially cleared of any hijacking attempt. I'm sure they're relieved [Misc]

Wednesday 2 April 17:10:04 UTC 2014

Misc [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Driver: You can't arrest me for speeding, daddy is a Border Patrol agent. Officer: Challenge accepted [Dumbass]

Wednesday 2 April 17:09:09 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You are now entering Anus. Please drive carefully [Amusing]

Wednesday 2 April 17:08:24 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Middle School evacuated due to unusual odor. Lunch Lady Doris facing charges [Amusing]

Wednesday 2 April 17:03:51 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The latest tourism hotspot? Somalialand. No, really – it's much less explosion-y than it used to be [Unlikely]

Wednesday 2 April 17:03:13 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jeffrey Dahmer's childhood home for sale, with a fantastic dining room that is perfect for having friends for dinner [Scary]

Wednesday 2 April 17:01:46 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Los Angeles schools lose over $100,000 a day in food waste. "Pffft. Amateurs." says Pentagon spokesman [Scary]

Wednesday 2 April 16:58:07 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ever wanted to spy on an entire country in real-time? Now you can. Job applications are available at www.nsa.gov/careers/ [Obvious]

Wednesday 2 April 16:54:08 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [9 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Whatascuffle [Scary]

Wednesday 2 April 16:53:33 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What can Brown do for you? Fire 250 drivers who staged a walk-out protest over the termination of a longtime employee [Scary]

Wednesday 2 April 16:27:03 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [161 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Newtown residents agree: if you can't kill a killer, then the next best thing is to kill his house [Interesting]

Wednesday 2 April 16:22:52 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Footwear

Wednesday 2 April 16:17:48 UTC 2014

Can you solve the Word Ladder in today's mentalfloss.com Brain Game Wednesday Wordplay challenge in six steps or fewer? Prove it! By changing one letter in each step to form English words, and leaving all other letters in their original positions, convert SOCKS into SHOES in the fewest possible steps. S O C K S
_ _ _ _ _
_ …
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Japanese mafia takes to Internet to rebrand itself as a kinder, gentler organization with a strong just-say-no-to-drugs message [Weird]

Wednesday 2 April 16:16:27 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » US Supreme Court: The Constitution created a plutocracy, duh [NewsFlash]

Wednesday 2 April 16:07:26 UTC 2014

NewsFlash [link] [669 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Why is a Game of Dice Called "Craps"?

Wednesday 2 April 16:00:00 UTC 2014

George Carlin once jokes that "they banned me from the casino in Vegas for saying sh*t, when the big game played there is called 'craps.'” How did the popular dice game get its rather unsavory name? While craps is a distinctively American invention, it is based on a British dice game called Hazard that gained popularity some 2000 years ago. … [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Study: Popularity Can Raise Risk Of Being Bullied

Wednesday 2 April 15:30:00 UTC 2014

Contradicting the common belief that bullies primarily target social outcasts, a new study has found that children who move up the social ladder to become more popular can also experience bullying.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » How to survive 33 hours stuck on an airplane [Scary]

Wednesday 2 April 15:21:26 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [165 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man trapped in the drive-thru at McDonald's decides to take his anger out on the first person he sees, dish out a hearty meal of two all-beef patties, special sauce, pickles, lettuce, onions, and pain [Florida]

Wednesday 2 April 14:44:06 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [97 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Would-be robber shoots himself in the foot (metaphorically) and the back (literally) [Dumbass]

Wednesday 2 April 14:43:38 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The 2014 Russian Army world tour may soon be coming to Belarus, the Baltic states and Finland [Strange]

Wednesday 2 April 14:36:50 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mississippi church confused by George W. Bush impersonator, almost as confused as if they had gotten the genuine article [Amusing]

Wednesday 2 April 14:32:56 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man accused of trying to force his way into a maid's Magic Kingdom inside a room at a Disney resort [Florida]

Wednesday 2 April 14:30:12 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for staging robbery to avoid going to work. I guess he'd already used the "sprained taint" excuse once too often [Florida]

Wednesday 2 April 14:29:02 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [7 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Why says FML

Wednesday 2 April 14:13:33 UTC 2014

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Toronto Fark Part'Eh, Saturday June 7 at Madison's – Baseball, beer, and no Biebers NOW WITH UPDATED INFO GOODNESS [FarkParty]

Wednesday 2 April 13:37:00 UTC 2014

FarkParty [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Intel chief admits continued snooping on Americans. AMD chief promises superior snooping with integrated 3D graphics and 4Mb of L2 cache in the next generation [Scary]

Wednesday 2 April 13:18:37 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » With The Walking Dead on hiatus until October, the Mother Nature Network starts a new series based on a viral apocalypse; hopes it gets picked up for the summer [Scary]

Wednesday 2 April 13:14:51 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these flying umbrellas [Photoshop]

Wednesday 2 April 13:00:39 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Pet Fawn

Wednesday 2 April 12:56:12 UTC 2014


Back in the 1940s, Beth Pitt liked to take her pet fawn named "Star Messenger" on walks through New York City. As reported by The New Yorker in its Dec 6, 1941 issue:

Talk story about Beth Pitt, who shares her one-room apartment on W. 58th Street with Star Messenger, a fawn. The fawn is five months old & has … [Link]

Weird Universe » Marina Abramović, “The Onion”

Wednesday 2 April 12:54:53 UTC 2014

Everything you need to know here. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Institute for The Eradication of Every Last Bit of Pleasure From Life Until You Beg For The Sweet Release of Death calls for Girl Scouts to stop selling cookies [Stupid]

Wednesday 2 April 12:53:04 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Another year, another Love a Marsupial Day – Totes Far Far, Out The Submitter, and Wombat Pwnage. What'd you like, what'd you hate about it? LGT Dave Barry's Year in Review [Followup]

Wednesday 2 April 12:00:00 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: "Curl" Up

Wednesday 2 April 11:42:40 UTC 2014

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Experts rain on teen's parade. Mean experts [Followup]

Wednesday 2 April 11:35:14 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Zebra Stripes

Wednesday 2 April 11:30:42 UTC 2014

Researchers Discover Why Zebras Have Stripes. It’s not to blend in with the background.
*
March Was First Month Without U.S. Fatalities in Iraq or Afghanistan In 11 Years. May this record be repeated in the months to come.
*
How Many Classic Horror Films Have You Seen? Check through this list of 102, and you may find something new … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Animals know when something bad is about to happen….if you're near Yellowstone you may want to take an extended vacation immediately [Scary]

Wednesday 2 April 11:05:12 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [138 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » YellowKettleBell says FML

Wednesday 2 April 8:38:20 UTC 2014

Today, I have pink eye. Four weeks ago I had scabies. I'm an elementary school teacher, and I'm apparently under attack from biological weapons: my students. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 2nd Annual Farks In The Wild at the Buffalo Zoo. July 23, 6pm – SOLD OUT – After Zoo Info [FarkParty]

Wednesday 2 April 7:28:03 UTC 2014

FarkParty [link] [62 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » that kind of girl says FML

Wednesday 2 April 6:32:59 UTC 2014

Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML [Link]

Futility Closet » If You Can’t Beat ‘Em …

Wednesday 2 April 6:26:40 UTC 2014

When stencil artist DS added his “Bad Kitty” to a London wall in 2012, he was dismayed to find a man removing it only eight hours later. So he took a photo and used that to create a new stencil on the same spot. He returned the next day, hoping to get a photo of a man removing a stencil … [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Awesome and Quirky Commercials Directed by Wes Anderson

Wednesday 2 April 6:14:13 UTC 2014

While Wes Anderson is best known for his big screen releases, the director has also made a fair number of television commercials—and they're just as distinctive and charming as his feature films. [Link]

Mental Floss » Samuel L. Jackson Performs Slam Poem About Boy Meets World

Wednesday 2 April 6:10:28 UTC 2014

"I don't think I've ever seen one episode of the show." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Triple dog dare you to take the eraser challenge [Sick]

Wednesday 2 April 5:29:20 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [87 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "What eventually made him feel ready was practicing orgasmic meditation, which entails stroking a woman's clitoris for 15 minutes" [Interesting]

Wednesday 2 April 4:08:24 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A chainsaw in the neck on April Fool's day. No, really – w/x-ray [Scary]

Wednesday 2 April 3:08:04 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [60 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » derped-out sperm says FML

Wednesday 2 April 2:56:09 UTC 2014

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cure found for college dorm funk, not for cancer [Amusing]

Wednesday 2 April 2:31:26 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Americans are "floating in a pool" of ranch dressing. A delicious, delicious pool that goes great with everything from hot wings to pizza crust to french fries and is even better when mixed with ketchup [Cool]

Wednesday 2 April 2:29:09 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [96 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » someone says FML

Wednesday 2 April 2:21:19 UTC 2014

Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's a no-nonsense way to get your messy daughter to clean her room: Move it out to the driveway [Amusing]

Wednesday 2 April 1:19:05 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 666: The latte of the beast [Stupid]

Wednesday 2 April 1:03:54 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 8.2 Earthquake off Chile coast. Tsunami warning in effect for Chile/Peru/Ecuador. Tsunami watch in effect for Colombia/Panama/Costa Rica/Nicaragua [News]

Wednesday 2 April 0:25:02 UTC 2014

News [link] [180 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 2 April 0:07:11 UTC 2014

Today, disappointed with my results on a mathematics test, I went over it and realized my teacher had added up the marks incorrectly, leaving me with 17% less than I earned. The person who's supposed to be teaching me math can't even perform basic arithmetic. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lesbian separatists don't even want to be buried near penis nor anyone who liked it [Weird]

Wednesday 2 April 0:05:52 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these long legged racers [Photoshop]

Wednesday 2 April 0:00:39 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Artist spends 13 days inside a taxidermied bear in "visual performance." Good thing it wasn't a rhino. It can get kinda hot in those rhinos [Stupid]

Wednesday 2 April 0:00:00 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [36 comments] [Link]

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