Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: 3D Wolf Blitzer holograms. New WTFness: Trying to rent a 777 to enhance MH370 coverage on CNN [Stupid]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Three words: Teddy bear sausages [Cool]
[link] [10 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not news: Former Bad News Bears child actor has moved on to a new career. News: As a methodist pastor. Fark: And he's doing a 545-mile fundraising bike ride to benefit an LGBT center [Cool]
[link] [33 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Magazine: Horsey!
Horsey! 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you want to remain as the family pet, maybe best not repeatedly shout the name of your owner's dead wife at his new partner [Strange]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ongoing study shows anti-aging hormone actually works [Ironic]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bat Soup Banned. In other news: Bat Soup [Sick]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Stool test that involves smelling the patient's droppings is 76% effective at diagnosing bowel disease, 100% effective at creating job that no farking sane person would ever want, ever [Obvious]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Slideshow: 10 Mistakes New Parents Always Make
10 Mistakes New Parents Always Make 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man finds a real steal on Craigslist. His truck, trailer, tools and wallet to be specific [Florida]
[link] [9 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Elements and the Countries That Discovered Them
You know the periodic table. You know the elements. Do you know where those elements were discovered? [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Britain's most tattooed man has a few regrets about some of his tattoos so he spends £6,000 on laser removal (but only so he can start again) [Dumbass]
[link] [54 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How to Hunt for Truffles
Max Silvestri learns how to train a dog to sit, stay, and then fetch him some very expensive truffles. [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Regional Words From Waaaay Northern Michigan
This week Merriam-Webster announced that it was finally putting “Yooper” in the dictionary. [Link]
Mental Floss » World War I Centennial: Plotters Decide to Kill the Archduke
We're covering the events that led to World War I exactly 100 years after they happened. [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Why Shuffled Cards Are Astounding
Card Magic Watch this video and learn about the mathematical marvel that is unleashed every time a deck of playing cards is shuffled. * Is This the Future? Surgeons are successfully implanting 3D printed skulls and planning to put people into suspended animation. I’m pretty sure we’re all living in a sci-fi movie. * That Nigerian Prince Is Really Bad … [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: Batman Turns 75
Sunday marks the 75th anniversary of Batman’s first appearance in DC Comics. Here is a timeline of important events in the evolution of the Caped Crusader from comic book hero to billion-dollar franchise 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » There are over 10 million people in LA, which was obvious to anyone on the 405 this morning [Interesting]
[link] [185 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Why do rich people live in big houses? The answer may not surprise you [Obvious]
[link] [151 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this grand entrance [Photoshop]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Clear your desks, remove your pants, and start drinking: It's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz [Survey]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "I think I'll go out and get some groceries, maybe buy a Soviet-built tank" [Cool]
[link] [98 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The owner of LuLu's salon and toy store in Brooklyn would very much much like one of her neighbors who named their wifi "LuLu's Anal Bleaching for Kids" to please change it [Amusing]
[link] [181 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Apple To Diversify Emojis
Responding to criticism that their emojis aren’t diverse enough, Apple has announced that they are working with programmers to add more multicultural and racially diverse faces to its 845-icon catalogue of emojis. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » Meet PoopGuy, India's Toilet Hero
In a place where one toilet can serve 1,000 people every day, keeping things clean is a serious challenge. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bank accidentally deposits $31,000 into teen's account. Underachiever teen only managed to spend $25,000 in the ten days before the error was caught [Amusing]
[link] [374 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Science, Fiction
Image: Wikimedia Commons Inspired by Jules Verne’s Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, marine engineer Simon Lake devoted himself to making a working practical submarine. In 1898, when his company built the first sub to operate successfully in the open sea, Verne sent a congratulatory telegram: WHILE MY BOOK ‘TWENTY THOUSAND LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA’ IS ENTIRELY A WORK OF IMAGINATION, … [Link]
The Onion » Mark From Sales Currently Leading Bracket Pool
FINDLAY, OH—Following the first four Sweet 16 games of this year’s NCAA Tournament, sources at local marketing firm Jones-Brannon Media confirmed Friday that Mark from sales is currently leading the office bracket pool. 
[Link]
The Onion » Fully Gentrified Neighborhood All Cheese Shops
The G7 is unable to get its deposit back on a shipment of ‘G8 Summer Getaway’ T-Shirts, 87% of a man’s memories are shame-based, and a fully gentrified neighborhood is all cheese shops. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Record quantum entanglement experiment allows for two Schrödinger cats to be alive, dead, or in 101 other states simultaneously, although at least seventy of those states involve hacking up furballs [Interesting]
[link] [99 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Meet the Owl that Fishes with Feces
Back in the early 2000s, ornithologist Doug Levey was teaching a course at the University of Florida when he had a weird idea about poop. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Google performs study on the work styles of its employees. Coincidentally, so did Fark, but it was largely incoherent and the report was soaked in spilled bourbon [Interesting]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You know you're screwed when your attorney resigns because he may have to testify against you [Ironic]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Giant 7ft 2in man gets a 'get out of jail free' card because he's too big for prison beds. That and he might get picked on by small people [Weird]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Super cute ballroom dancer gives her first performance since the Boston Marathon – on a bionic leg (vid). Bonus: here comes the science [Sappy]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Devastated Family Struggling To Cope After Losing Everything On DVR
CHILLICOTHE, MO—Reeling in the wake of sudden, unthinkable tragedy, members of the Talbott family were reportedly left struggling to pick up the pieces Thursday night after an unexpected hard drive crash erased everything they had stored on their di… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Taco Bell president admits he doesn't know what '4/20' means, along with 'Mexican food' [Interesting]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » annesolmm says FML
Today, I'm in Venice for a romantic weekend. While I was gushing about the gondolas, canals and the city of love in general, the only thing my boyfriend could say was, "Wow! How cool is it to be on the set of the Tomb Raider movie?" FML [Link]
Mental Floss » The Weird Week in Review
Oh Deer, What an Embarrassing Position This is not what you pictured when you tried to leap that small fence, is it? The deer didn’t quite make it over the picket fence Sunday morning. The Kelley family of Attleboro, Massachusetts woke up to find the poor deer hanging upside-down from the point where its rear legs were caught between the … [Link]
FMyLife » ClaustrophobicNightmares says FML
Today, I was stuck in the elevator for almost two hours. Where was the elevator mechanic? Next to me in the elevator. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Don’t Use “Pants” for “Pantaloons”: 19 Surprising Rules Copyeditors Used to Enforce
Some old rules that no one would take a red pen to today. [Link]
The Onion » 4 Senators Mauled During Congressional Tiger Show
WASHINGTON—Four United States senators are reportedly recovering in Washington-area hospitals today following a shocking and grisly incident Thursday night, when a 480-pound male tiger brutally mauled the elected officials in front of a full audienc… 
[Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Movies That Recycled Footage From Other Movies
It’s a big, time-consuming ordeal to get a film from the page to the big screen. Some movies use footage from other films to expedite the process and to keep production budgets low. Although audiences aren’t supposed to notice the recycled footage, there are some movies out there where the decision to use stock or re-purposed footage is completely obvious. … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wisconsin 'Witch House' being moved.. Residents complain owner turned them into a newt (they got better…) [Amusing]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You don't have to worry about child trafficking going through the Atlanta airport anymore. They've put up some signs [PSA]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Housing authority earns judicial smackdown after revoking crazy old man's section 8 voucher because he didn't answer letters while in jail or the psychiatric ward [Interesting]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Study: Women Fake Orgasms To Increase Sexual Arousal
A new study has found that in addition to faking orgasms for the purpose of protecting a partner’s ego and ending sex, many women fake orgasms in order to increase sexual arousal so they can work themselves up to an actual orgasm. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » How Big Is a Breadbox?
"Is it bigger than a breadbox?" Steve Allen is credited with coming up with this question during a 1953 episode of What's My Line, although his original phrasing was, ''Is it a large product if you accept as the norm something the size of a breadbox, let's say?'' "Is it bigger than a breadbox?" was used so much on the … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Just another day as a reporter in Florida, just another photobomb by a unicorn in a tutu [Florida]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Study shows that even a small nuclear war could destroy the world. No word on tiny nuclear war or infinitesimal thermonuclear exchange [Obvious]
[link] [267 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 100 years ago today, a group of radicals planned the murder of Franz Ferdinand. Hipster radicals, obviously, since they hated Franz Ferdinand well before the rest of us ever heard "Take Me Out" [Interesting]
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ukraine's killer dolphins will never surrender, a former defense minister says [Amusing]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man who threatens to secede from county due to perceived unfair restrictions on building in dangerous zones apparently succeeds [Ironic]
[link] [119 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » New Use for Baboon Urine
According to NehandaRadio.com, baboon urine is "selling like hot cakes" in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe. The place to go to get it is the Bulawayo City Council run toilets at Egodini commuter omnibus terminus.
The source of its appeal is the belief that "a baboon by its nature urinates only on one spot. Even if it travels from Matopo to Bulawayo, when … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man arrested after beating his girlfriend and killing her dog. Police believe he was a country music fan that had too much to drink [Florida]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » High school teacher who reported phone stolen over a year ago learns just how fast a naked selfie from that phone can travel between students on social media. Warning for those of you who haven't clicked yet: Teacher is a hairy dude [Dumbass]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A look at Harry Houdini's most dangerous acts. I would love to see Criss Angel perform the Milk Can Escape or David Copperfield get out of the Chinese Water Torture Cell [Cool]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hit Netherlands naked reality TV dating show picked up by US network, however in-show competitions such as 'Plug The Dike's Hole' expected to lose a lot in translation [Interesting]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You know you must have had quite a night when you wake up the next morning under a train [Scary]
[link] [10 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The police don't take it lightly when you threaten violence where the relative you're fighting with works. Especially if he works at a nuclear power plant [Dumbass]
[link] [7 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not news: Jackass gets all road ragey, shoots a woman the bird, cuts her off. Fark: What happens next. With video [Florida]
[link] [554 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 49 Hoaxes People Actually Believed
With April Fool's Day right around the corner, let's brush up on some of history's greatest hoaxes. [Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: Taking Notes
It's time for another open-ended Free-for-All Friday mentalfloss.com Brain Game challenge. Enjoy! Give ONE example of a common English word
of FOUR LETTERS or more in length
made up solely of letters that correspond to
musical notes (A, B, C, D, E, F, and G). EXAMPLES: DEED, AGED, BADGE, Please add your single entry to our
comment list below, and have a … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Every culture has at least one joke involving the Polish–whether it involves screen door submarines, spinning to change a light bulb, or being invaded by Russia–but only Americans have jokes about ambulance-chasing sharks [Interesting]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "He's even seen beavers" [Cool]
[link] [9 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Anti-anxiety drugs may cause death…which leads to higher anxiety [Scary]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Soldier returns home from Afghanistan so he can donate part of his liver to his dying Vietnam vet grandfather. "I don't really see myself as a hero. You do what you do for the ones you love" Okay, who kicked up the dust in here [Sappy]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Turns out BP was a little low in their estimate of how much oil got dumped into Lake Michigan earlier this week [Followup]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ever had sex in your office? Well, YOU haven't, but research finds the person sitting next to you has. Just not with you [Interesting]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Jill Biden pranks Joe by hopping out of an overhead compartment on Air Force Two, giving Joe a heart attack. APRIL FOOLS [Amusing]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » UK parks nannies reject circus troupe's request to use inflatable whale in show, since it's too religious. Next up, officials order Pink Floyd's inflatable pig shot down since it's anti-Islamic [Dumbass]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Here are 23 reasons why Florida is the best state in America. The article writer must have forgotten to mention the one million reasons it's a cesspool of depravity and insanity [Florida]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders says there's no good reason to keep Transgendered individuals from serving in the military, other than the fact that M2F individuals always seem to cut off the Rifleman's Creed [Obvious]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A veterinarian loses his wedding ring in the rush of emergency surgery on a dog. What does he do next? A) Write it off as lost, B) Make the dogs owner pay for a new ring or C) Go landfill diving with his wife until he finds it [Spiffy]
[link] [10 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pricipal . Caught sayof OWI, hit-and-run [Dumbass]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Beneath the strings of red paper lanterns and narrow alleyways of San Francisco's Chinatown lies a sinister underworld run by "Shrimp Boy" [Obvious]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » No, Stephen Colbert did not actually make a racist joke about Asians on his show's Twitter account, but let's not let the facts get in the way of a good story [Dumbass]
[link] [306 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New York has many tourist attractions, the Statue of Liberty, Rockefeller Center, and of course – Night Court. Bob Wheeler unavailable for comment [Amusing]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » National Park Service designing a new logo for its 100-year anniversary. You know what to do [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Vincent Price was a Gourmet Cook
The actor was a gourmet chef who wrote a number of cookbooks—and even had his own cooking show. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Artist arrested in Paris for walking around naked with live rooster leashed to his penis. "They can't stop me being an artist. Art is my alternative to suicide." (Not safe for work) [Dumbass]
[link] [61 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Global movie ticket sales climb to $35.9 billion, including $148 from China from the three people who didn't know where to buy pirated films [Interesting]
[link] [11 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Online news organizations have now created 5,000 new jobs, none of which were for fact checkers [Interesting]
[link] [8 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML [Link]
FMyLife » oops says FML
Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML [Link]
FMyLife » mookiemookie01 says FML
Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Westboro Baptist Church, who preach their hate citing the first amendment are planning on picketing a liquor store that put up a sign that reads: Fred Phelps 1929-2014 Champagne 10% off Not a coincidence [Ironic]
[link] [62 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The world's shortest cat officially belongs to Canada. The US concedes defeat in the world's smallest cat race, but vow they will have the fattest cat in the world come hell or high water [Interesting]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Mario Manzini, Escapologist
Do we believe the video, or the newspaper report?
Source of news report.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Russia to West: What? We don't have a whole lot of dudes over here…Would you guys like some vodka? We seem to have waaaaaaaay too much. But no, we have like *some* dudes, not a whole lot of dudes [Followup]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ukraine to West: "Uh…They've got a lot of dudes over here" [Scary]
[link] [167 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man sees divinity in sliced potato – The Greatest Story Ever Boiled [Silly]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Jenga [Amusing]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman who performed a sex act on a uniformed police officer wins £6,600 in damages for the psychological damage it caused [Obvious]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Happy Birthday "Sand"y!
[Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Super Villain Cat
‘BaneCat’ Is Much Funnier Than It Has Any Right To Be. This cat only put up with the costume because he’s going to use it as an excuse to kill you.
*
11 Things You Learn When Your Book Is Turned Into A TV Show. A writer who’s been there shares her whirlwind of emotions.
*
20 Dad-Rock Albums You Should … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Newlywed who pushed husband off cliff gets 30 years to think about the gravity of her actions [Followup]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A lost cellphone leads to a drunk man pulling a gun on his wife, threatening their 2 children, shoving the gun in his wife's mouth and making their 6-year-old son become a man by loading and unloading a Glock pistol several times [Sick]
[link] [68 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wealth gap widened by new, improved $1 trillion student loan debt [Scary]
[link] [104 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you saw a man wearing a cape running down the street in Des Moines, Iowa yesterday he was not a caped crusader, just a man who was at a barber shop when cops tried to catch him. "He ditched the cape when it didn't help him fly" [Amusin
[link] [8 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » In a Word
immiserization
n. the act of making or becoming progressively more miserable luctiferous
adj. bringing sorrow, mournful, gloomy [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dallas man dies in home and it took 2 weeks to find him, as he was hidden in all the trash [Sad]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Creative resumes are depressing the hell out of the uncreative class [Obvious]
[link] [75 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two boys rescued by firefighter flew to New York to be on The Today Show to discuss their story. And while the family was in New York, someone broke into their home and stole virtually all their possessions [Sick]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Whistleblower who exposed alleged fraud scheme returns to work, admits it's "kind of awkward" [Florida]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Florida's largest retirement community is also the fastest-growing metropolitan area in the United States [Florida]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Credible lead" emerges in hunt for MH370 [Followup]
[link] [94 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The government of Denmark would like its citizens to go forth and multiply while on vacation [Amusing]
[link] [46 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Parents, if you're trying to help your children with their homework, stop it. You're not helping [Interesting]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Apparently busking is now a religion [Amusing]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Underage drinking on spring break? That's a tasin' [Florida]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » High school girls fight over a male student. His nickname is Kingdong so you can guess what they were fighting over. Yeah mon [Amusing]
[link] [76 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » shabowbow says FML
Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML [Link]
FMyLife » bonbon789 says FML
Today, I wanted to eat my last bowl of sugary cereal before starting my new diet. I fell down the stairs with the full bowl in hand. Message received, universe. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Protip: If you've just inherited a ton of money from a dead relative, keep it to yourself [Obvious]
[link] [52 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » MIT researcher makes beautiful sand castles but fails to realize they need to be at least 3 times bigger than this [Cool]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Charles Barkley Openly Gambling On College Games During CBS Halftime Report
NEW YORK—Following the first half of Thursday’s Sweet 16 matchup between the University of Dayton and Stanford University, sources confirmed that college basketball commentator Charles Barkley was observed blatantly gambling on the outcome of … 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Taco Bell President says that Canada can have the new breakfast menu when they take back Justin Bieber [Hero]
[link] [86 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Question: Are you destined to be a CEO or a secretary? Answer: Look in your pants [Dumbass]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » I'll be damned, evangelical church finally offers Holy Oil cure-all for everything from cancer to strokes to bladder problems. Why yes, for a small fee, why do you ask? [Asinine]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Parents sue school claiming son got PTSD after being put in detention [Stupid]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this running rodent [Photoshop]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
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