Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Morgan Freeman, Grizzly Adams, and smokin' hot twins: it must be this week's Mugshot Roundup [Fail]
[link] [72 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The latest fad to make you cynically guffaw through your hipster beard: professional birth photography [Asinine]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Russia has a sad about being kicked out of the G8 but wants to stay in the friend zone. BFF [Followup]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cooking with natural gas is as unhealthy for you as smoking cigarettes [Scary]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » So a guy goes for a walk with his dog in a remote Lithuanian field. And what he filmed living inside a thawing pond will freak you out [Weird]
[link] [106 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 8 Strange Things Trucks Have Spilled (Besides Corndogs)
Earlier today, a truck in Shreveport, Louisiana overturned, spilling corndogs across I-220 West. The carnival staple stalled traffic for much of the morning as the highway was shut down for cleanup. This is hardly the first time an unusual spillage has taken over the roads. With help from friends at TruckSpills.com, we found some other crazy things that have littered … [Link]
FMyLife » Gibsonsgfreak21 says FML
Today, I learned the hard way that when I ask a cute girl if she's artistic, it sounds like I'm asking her if she's autistic. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Chew our gum and a giant cat will take you to work [Amusing]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Massive Houston fire is now contained [News]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Girl Sells Record 18,000 Boxes Of Girl Scout Cookies
Oklahoma middle school student Katie Francis broke the national Girl Scout cookie sales record by selling more than 18,000 boxes in seven weeks, attributing her success to asking everyone she sees to buy a box. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » The lions that ate Marius the giraffe are put down. That should settle it [Interesting]
[link] [125 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Typical: Police spot man driving drunk, Extra: on the sidewalk, Fark: In a stolen excavator [Interesting]
[link] [18 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man Vomits on Cell Phone. Follows Florida protocol by going on machete wielding rampage [Florida]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » BP refinery malfunction spills oil into Lake Michigan. Or as BP like to call it, "Tuesday" [Fail]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Kansas lawmakers pass a bill to name the state's official fossils that were hidden there by Satan five hundred years ago to test our faith [Interesting]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Police officer gives eulogy for longtime K-9 partner, and it just got a little bit dusty in here [Sad]
[link] [14 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » News: Hazmat team responds to clear dangerous liquid spilled by an overturned truck. Fark: Milk [Amusing]
[link] [38 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Malaysian Airlines: Hey, sorry about jerking you around about the whereabouts of your loved ones. Here's $5000 bucks. We're square, now, right? [Asinine]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pun contests are a thing. Entrants really should quip while they're ahead [Amusing]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Obviously a rehabilitated man: One day after finishing 15-year prison term for robbing a shoe store, man takes a bus right from prison and robs the same shoe store once again [Dumbass]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 25 Fun Facts About Back to the Future
A few things you might not know about Marty, Doc, and Doc's pet chimpanzee. [Link]
Mental Floss » All Three Seasons of Game of Thrones Recapped in Nine Minutes
Game of Thrones' new season starts April 6. Can't remember exactly what's going on in Westeros? Never fear, the Fine Brothers are here, recapping everything that happened in the first three seasons in one nine-minute-long, single take video. Spoilers ahead! [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Caption this distressed dog [Caption]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this old iron bridge [Photoshop]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Report: 95% Of Grandfathers Got Job By Walking Right Up And Just Asking
WASHINGTON—According to a Gallup report published Tuesday, over 95 percent of the nation’s grandfathers began their careers by walking straight into a place of business, saying “I’m the man for the job,” and receiving a posit… 
[Link]
The Onion » Report: 95% Of Grandfathers Got Job By Walking Right Up And Just Asking
According to a Gallup report published Tuesday, over 95 percent of the nation’s grandfathers began their careers by walking straight into a place of business, saying “I’m the man for the job,” and receiving a position right there. Full article. 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Remember that Got Milk? commercial with the dude with peanut butter in his mouth? That was Michael Bay's doing [Amusing]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Seamen spilled near Lesbos, explosion victim pulls herself together, and Orange crushed: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/16 – 3/22 [FarkBlog]
[link] [4 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The media says it's not the media's fault that the Presidential campaign starts earlier every 4, uh, 3, uh, 2 years [Fail]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » I don't mind adding a slider and some onion rings as garnish to my bloody mary, but a whole roasted chicken and a brownie is a bit too much [Weird]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Missing Links: The 20 Best Small Towns Across America
Small Town, USA Smithsonian ranks the 20 best small towns across America. * Play With Your Favorite Band Here are what some famous bands would look like as Lego figures. These should be real—although I suspect some of these bands would strongly object to being turned into a commercial product. * The Cookie Record Crumbles This little girl is one … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ugly-ass baby gorilla meets her mother for the first time. Did I mention ugly-ass? [Sappy]
[link] [20 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » disappointed says FML
Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » "The Office" Time Machine
Prepare to waste your lunch hour/evening/week! Internet hero Joe Sabia has spent the last year and a half watching all of The Office (U.S. version) and collecting all 1,300 (ish) cultural references he could find in the show. He then proceeded to cut together videos, one for each year, in this amazing Time Machine site. You pop in a year … [Link]
Mental Floss » 18 Things You Didn't Learn in History Class
You probably didn't find these facts in your history textbooks. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you're south of the mason dixon, I advise you to walk southwest at a quick clip with a jar of mustard. You'll understand why soon enough [Amusing]
[link] [96 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The dangers of napping on the train. Sleep tight [Amusing]
[link] [88 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How hard is it to find a plane in the middle of an ocean? Turns out that it's pretty farking hard [Obvious]
[link] [99 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Tape, Glue, and New Kakapo
When I wrote about the kakapo—a chubby, flightless parrot that looks like a parakeet crossed with an owl crossed with a Muppet—last year, a group of the birds had recently arrived at their new home on New Zealand’s Little Barrier Island. [Link]
The Onion » Infographic: Tips For Using Online Dating Sites
Here are The Onion’s tips for finding love online 
[Link]
Futility Closet » Pi Without Circles
The sum of the squares of the reciprocals of the positive integers is π2/6. The sum of their fourth powers is π4/90. The sum of their sixth powers is π6/945. The area of the region under the Gaussian curve y = e-x2 is the square root of π. The probability that two integers chosen at random will have no prime … [Link]
The Onion » Nation Rallies Behind Embattled Celebrity Gown
LOS ANGELES—In response to a rash of harsh criticism leveled against a gown worn by actress Charlize Theron at a recent Hollywood charity event, millions of Americans across the country have risen up this week to show their support for the publicly … 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rules for tech entrepreneurs: 1. Be a man. 2. Be attractive. 3. Don't be unattractive [Obvious]
[link] [78 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Words of wisdom from a former Senator: "If you're naked, you don't have any clothes on, but if you're nekkid you don't have any clothes on but you're up to something" [Amusing]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Good job, America: Network formerly known as "The Learning Channel" has renewed the thought-provoking series "Sex Sent Me to the ER" [Followup]
[link] [118 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » New climate report is out. Time for everyone to panic [Interesting]
[link] [180 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » JPMorgan's China chief resigns to spend more time with the children of high-ranking officials he hired [Interesting]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Putin planning to defeat the West with fitness. Richard Simmons: Your country needs you [Interesting]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
The Onion » College Senior Already Has Grueling 14-Month Employment Search Lined Up After Graduation
ATHENS, OH—Planning ahead to ensure he is adequately prepared for life after college, Ohio University senior Kyle Huber confirmed to reporters Monday that he already has an excruciating 14-month employment search lined up and waiting for him when he… 
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » When they say "Get a room", I don't think a Walgreen's bathroom stall is what they had in mind [Florida]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Florida judge rules that IP addresses are not equivalent to social security numbers [Obvious]
[link] [123 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 6 Awesome April Events from All Over
The return of warm weather and the celebration of Easter give us many traditional festivals. They don’t look the same everywhere; in fact they are so different they won’t fit into any category, except they happen in April. Which of these would you jump on a plane for? 1. Naghol Land Diving Festival, Pentecost Island, Vanuatu 
Photograph by Flickr user … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In loving memory of Yellowstone Supervolcano. 2.1 million years BC – 2014. You destroyed Earth like no other. RIP [Hero]
[link] [121 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 25, 2014
Aries Fate will give you a lot to do next week, and you had better do exactly as you are told or Fate will start executing hostages. Taurus This is a good time to make aggressive moves at work, as when the global economy… 
[Link]
FMyLife » dani says FML
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » 12 Simpsons Easter Eggs You Might Have Missed
Even Simpsons obsessives who watch each episode repeatedly might not know everything about the series. Here are 12 hidden gems from Springfield. [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: New Technology Creates Mug Shots From DNA
Scientists have announced the creation of a new technology capable of producing 3D models of people’s faces by examining their DNA, a tool experts say could help police create mug shots of criminals from DNA evidence taken from a crime scene. 
[Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: Won't You Be
Today's mentalfloss.com Tuesday Test Time Brain Game asks you to break down an eight-letter word, one letter at a time. Are you up to the challenge? By removing one letter from the mix at each step,
and rearranging the other letters as necessary to form new words,
reduce the word "NEIGHBOR" to the letter "O." N E I G H B … [Link]
The Onion » How A Predator Drone Works
How A Predator Drone Works 
[Link]
Mental Floss » What Happens If I Survive the Apocalypse and Only Have One Pair of Contact Lenses?
Our biggest fear. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Has Wal-Mart become a welfare queen after revealing it is dependent on food stamps? [Interesting]
[link] [455 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ireland needs shaggy sheep for 'shearing Olympics', cold, lonely nights [Amusing]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Country singer manages to lose an aggregate 260 pounds [Interesting]
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Redskins owner Daniel Snyder visits 28 reservations to learn how offensive his team name is, writes letter showing he learned nothing [Dumbass]
[link] [371 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » NSA "reform" bill would let the NSA do pretty much anything they liked, which is allegedly a big improvement over the current situation [Fail]
[link] [112 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » For one writer, doing things the hard way meant staying in the hellhole that is Akron, Ohio [Sad]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » As if being the Father of the Internet wasn't enough, Al Gore now has a praying mantis species named after him [Cool]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » NATO is "very concerned" about the Russian military buildup along the Ukrainian border. Dude sounds concerned [Scary]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nude dancers file suit against……you've already clicked the link [Followup]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 5-year-old party animal found walking 20 miles from home looking for playground to celebrate his birthday [Hero]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Sorry about that natural gas explosion that killed your friend and neighbor. Here are some free pizza coupons for your whole town. Sincerely, Chevron" [Followup]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Luckiest 8th grade male student ever. *Looks at mugshot* Okay maybe not [Sick]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » It sucks when you discover you're allergic to bees after an angry swarm descends on your neighborhood [Scary]
[link] [8 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photographer at Madrid Zoo captures some photos of the friendliest bear you'll find this side of San Fransisco [Interesting]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » No matter your intentions, no matter the context, if you're a Republican lawmaker just don't ever use the phrase 'tar baby' in any of your speeches [Obvious]
[link] [121 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Your skateboard's not worth a door handle, especially when it's from a police station [Dumbass]
[link] [9 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hobby Lobby wants to provide employees decent wages, nice hours, a retirement plan but no access to IUDs or morning after pills [Interesting]
[link] [187 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When you don't turn into traffic fast enough for the old people in the gold Lexus behind you, that's when shiat can start to get real [Florida]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Early Instructional Videos for Using a Rotary Phone
A couple of weeks ago, we posted a hilarious and adorable video of children reacting to rotary phones. Most of them, raised on iDevices, had no idea how to use it. The kids aren't alone in their confusion. Based on these early instructional videos, it seems like our ancestors were also pretty puzzled by rotary phones. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Hair appointment ends in tragedy…and someone died, too [Scary]
[link] [11 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Store service is so lousy, even its ghosts get frustrated with employees [Strange]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 12 Years a Slave: working for the Post Office – NJ scandal catches fire as national letters pour in to local paper and $75 billion pension money GONE [Followup]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Although 'Star Wars' is the most famous sci-fi movie of the '70s, 'Westworld' or 'Flesh Gordon' might be the greatest [Cool]
[link] [96 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » ATMs have gotten so convenient criminals can rob them via text message [Scary]
[link] [8 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bad: You won't see your spouse for nearly two years because you're both deployed to different aircraft carriers. Sappy: The Navy lets you fly over for a visit when one carrier relieves the other in the Gulf of Oman [Sappy]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Teddy Roosevelt comes out in favour of keeping national parks and monuments unchanged. This is not a repeat from 1906 [Hero]
[link] [13 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this jester [Photoshop]
[link] [17 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Rosario Muniz
WARNING: Large, hairy Italian man gyrating in his tighty whiteys. (I have no idea what he's singing about).
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Nine jobs one can only do in Germany. And no, you can't do that one anymore [Interesting]
[link] [67 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Hodges, James & Smith
In 1973 they signed a recording contract with 20th Century Fox Records. Their first album, "Incredible" …was not! The only thing incredible about it was the speed it reached cut-out bins at discount record stores…. Another 20th Century album "Power In Your Love," disappeared so fast that most people can't recall its release.
I suspect part of the reason for … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » School won't let 11-year-old girl back to school because she violated the school's dress code policy by: A) wearing a t-shirt with a bad word, B) wearing shorts that revealed her underwear or C) shaving her head to support her friend with can
[link] [121 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not to freak anyone out, but a highly contagious version of ebola may have shown up in Canada [Scary]
[link] [68 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Plumber's Helpers
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Suspect claims he accidentally kidnapped child, who he thought was his stepdaughter. 'Cause it's okay to kidnap your stepkids, just not other people's kids [Fail]
[link] [22 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was walking around my college campus when someone asked me if I had gotten separated from my tour group. He didn't believe me when I said I was a student there. This happens all the time. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Prom?
Here are 24 creative ways teenagers are asking for a date to the prom. You can’t back out once it’s photographed, posted, and gone viral.
*
A group that fights copyright infringement in software was caught using a pirated photograph in their ads. The photo was removed, but the hypocrisy has been well-publicized.
*
Fans were excited to hear that … [Link]
Mental Floss » 13 Ice Cream Secrets From Ben
Including the one flavor they'll never make. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two dead in Naval base shooting [News]
[link] [80 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A new high-tech gumshield with a silicone balloon inside that rests against the teeth and is connected to a small machine that pumps air in and out of the balloon could replace braces… If it didn't make the wearer look even more ridiculous [Wei
[link] [37 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Did we say 18 missing people? We meant 176….I guess we shouldn't have had the Prime Minister of Malaysia do our press release [Scary]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mom successfully ensures her kids will be social pariahs until at least high school [Stupid]
[link] [110 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "There was more than one egg thrown, which is against the law obviously to assault anybody with an egg, let alone a parking enforcement officer, You're assaulting someone who has a badge. We take that very seriously" [Obvious]
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ever wonder what it looks like to base jump off the World Trade Center? Well, today is the day (w/video) [Stupid]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sarah Palin may actually get a chance to see Russia from her house [Unlikely]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I told my boyfriend the dentist said my blood pressure was high. He was more interested in the fact that the dentist took my blood pressure than my blood pressure being high. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Vampprobs says FML
Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Shot through the heart, in the Ukraine (Warning: Graphic photo in twitter link within article) [News]
[link] [163 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Invention from mother of wheelchair-bound son helps him and other physically impaired children walk for the first time. Parents advised not make auto-loader noises, or simulate fights with xenomorphs [Cool]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Unquote
“Mr. Hoover, if you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you and you have to battle with only one of them.” — Calvin Coolidge, to Herbert Hoover [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When an 8-year-old student sent a Flat Stanley to a soldier he didn't know in Iraq, he had no way of knowing the journey it would take, or how much dust the last sentence in this story would kick up [Cool]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Taco Bell sent 1,000 free "breakfast phones" to "fast-food influencers" to go on "secret breakfast missions." Unemployed millennials, consider branding yourselves as fast-food influencers to get some respect [Stupid]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Florida woman claims police made her poop on her lawn during meth bust. Scheiße [Florida]
[link] [44 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not news: D.C. woman calls for an ambulance. News: Paramedics start to argue. FARK: She takes the Metro to the Hospital [Scary]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Texas cop gets a ticket from a 14-year-old girl for parking in a fire lane. FARK: She does NOT get TAZED [Amusing]
[link] [113 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When asked why the bike path cost $9.4 million, the Bay Area Toll Authority replied that they couldn't justify spending more because the bike path is only temporary and they'll be destroying it in a few months [Stupid]
[link] [145 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two year-old injured after slicing open hands on razor blades glued to playground equipment at a city park. Yes, you read that right [Sick]
[link] [117 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Everyone can throw away their brackets for Consumerist's "Worst Company in America" as the 2-time reigning champ is knocked out in the first round by Time Warner Cable [Interesting]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML [Link]
FMyLife » bloodyhell says FML
Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Oh bother [Strange]
[link] [65 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There's a creepy clown creeping through Staten Island streets that's freaking out the residents, Internets [Strange]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A burger within a burger that's only 10,000 calories? Sounds burgerey [Weird]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Girl, British and boy, American, dead after killing German, officer [Strange]
[link] [79 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When you live at 1400 Pennsylvania Ave. in Washington, D.C. you sometimes receive a lot of hate mail that wasn't meant for you [Interesting]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Alaska, USA
A petition to secede from the union and join Russia is circulating in Alaska. It gained 10,000 signatures in a three day period, if it gets 100,000 the White House is obliged to respond. They must have brain freeze up there. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Emma Watson from the Noah movie [Photoshop]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 3 Epic Pun Contests (And A Few Of Their Winning Entries)
Jest be careful using these in real life! [Link]
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