John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » If you're the chief of police, you should already know ways to avoid getting caught in a prostitution sting…by a neighboring city's police force [Stupid]

Monday 24 March 23:50:19 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » $$BACON$$

Monday 24 March 23:37:20 UTC 2014


A disease that affects pigs has made its way to the US recently. Adult pigs get sick and have diarrhea and vomiting then they recover but newborn piglets do not fare as well. As many as 80% of piglets that get the disease die from dehydration. So look out bacon lovers, the price is going up, up, up. [Link]

FMyLife » AsianSweets says FML

Monday 24 March 23:32:03 UTC 2014

Today, while we were having sex, my boyfriend asked me, "Who's your daddy?" I actually started thinking about my father. Total buzzkill. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ever wondered how a tiny chihuahua can be related to a Rottweiler? Well wonder no more with this infographic of a dog family tree that highlights the diversity of dogs and how breeds are interconnected [Interesting]

Monday 24 March 23:22:06 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [63 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Eagles Add Veteran Fuckup

Monday 24 March 23:00:00 UTC 2014

Eagles Add Veteran Fuckup
[Link]

Mental Floss » 20 Fun Facts About Our Mysterious Feline Friends

Monday 24 March 22:58:08 UTC 2014

Cats aren't exactly open books. Here are a few facts that even ailurophiles (cat lovers) might find surprising. [Link]

The Onion » City Planner Gets Halfway Through Designing City Before Realizing He’s Just Doing Philadelphia Again

Monday 24 March 22:30:00 UTC 2014

DES MOINES, IA—Saying that his designs felt oddly familiar as he was drafting them, urban planner William Reston confirmed Monday that while envisioning a revitalized downtown for Des Moines, IA, he had absentmindedly laid out the preexisting city o…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » The same Phoenix pastor who once got a lil' visit from the Secret Service after saying he "prayed every day for the death of Obama" is now demanding that women not so much as utter an "Amen" in his Church, because the Bible [Asini

Monday 24 March 22:05:20 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [188 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Coffee or Tea?

Monday 24 March 22:04:13 UTC 2014

Are you in a coffee country or a tea country? [Link]

Mental Floss » Where Does the Term "The Birds and The Bees" Come From?

Monday 24 March 22:00:00 UTC 2014

Spring is in the air, and if a classic euphemism is to be believed, this means birds and bees have begun their time-honored practice of non-stop coitus. Or something like that. The phrase "the birds and the bees" is hazy by design—it's used to tell children about the mechanics of human sex without actually mentioning sex or humans. It's prudish … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Love isn't a state of perfect caring. 'Love' is an active noun, like 'struggle.' To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now." Happy birthday, Fred Rogers [Hero]

Monday 24 March 21:54:50 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's one thing to get drunk, kick in my door, and punch me in the head. But did you have to steal my shih tzu as well? [Weird]

Monday 24 March 21:54:40 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember that snarky thread about how bad British food was last (any) week? About that [Followup]

Monday 24 March 21:53:27 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When you run for Senate, lots of questions are going to be asked about your past. Like that time you landed your crippled reconnaissance plan in China instead of dropping it in the ocean like you were instructed [Stupid]

Monday 24 March 21:51:25 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [99 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fitness center priding itself on its "hassle-free environment" hassles woman for being too fit [Amusing]

Monday 24 March 21:40:53 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [114 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Hawaii Police Defend Prostitution Loophole

Monday 24 March 21:30:00 UTC 2014

Following a move by Hawaiian legislators to tighten anti-prostitution laws, police are defending a legal exemption that allows undercover officers to have sex with prostitutes.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mom gets lots of sympathy for dying son, who she maybe kinda poisoned [Sad]

Monday 24 March 21:15:15 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How the Winston-Salem Dash Got Their Name

Monday 24 March 21:00:00 UTC 2014

Through Opening Day, we'll be looking at the stories behind the greatest team names in Minor League Baseball. [Link]

FMyLife » pantyripper says FML

Monday 24 March 20:34:09 UTC 2014

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Odd Old Ads

Monday 24 March 20:30:00 UTC 2014

Things Have Changed Check out these odd and offensive old ads. * I Am Programmed To Tell You That You Stink You thought robots were all supposed to be subservient butlers? These robots all make fun of you. * Pay the Teller The silent half of the famous illusionist duo Penn & Teller just won a landmark lawsuit against another … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's a joke to be made about the Treasury Secretary getting prostate surgery, but I can't put my finger on it [Misc]

Monday 24 March 20:28:13 UTC 2014

Misc [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oops: Woman who tells cops she's not a fugitive who's been on the run for 18 years accidentally drops birth certificate proving she's totally a fugitive who's been on the run for 18 years [Dumbass]

Monday 24 March 20:22:28 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » G8 to G7 [NewsFlash]

Monday 24 March 20:16:29 UTC 2014

NewsFlash [link] [355 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Putin has male lover killed [Scary]

Monday 24 March 20:02:53 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this timeless tale of beer and friendship [Photoshop]

Monday 24 March 20:01:00 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » All You Need To Know To Get Caught Up On X-Men Comics

Monday 24 March 20:00:00 UTC 2014

Want to know all the important stuff you've missed in the last decade or so of X-Men comics? [Link]

The Onion » 87% Of Man’s Memories Shame-Based

Monday 24 March 19:55:00 UTC 2014

DULUTH, MN—Stating that the man is rarely able to reflect on events from earlier in his life without visibly wincing, sources confirmed Monday that 87 percent of local medical claims processor Tyler Collins’ memories are rooted in the emotions…
[Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Facts We Bet You Didn't Know About Antarctica [Sponsored by Air New Zealand]

Monday 24 March 19:45:36 UTC 2014

1) If you throw boiling water into the air at about -40 degrees Fahrenheit (-40 degrees Celsius as well!), it will instantly vaporize.
At about -40 degrees Fahrenheit (same for Celsius) if boiling water is thrown into the air, most of the particles turn into steam while the rest instantly convert to small pieces of ice. This is because of … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man gives away modest sums of money to complete strangers he meets on the streets. Who better to send for psychiatric assessment? [Asinine]

Monday 24 March 19:44:21 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » There's drunk, and then there's "he did have pants on, but they were on his arms" drunk [Asinine]

Monday 24 March 19:42:08 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [25 comments] [Link]

The Onion » College Admissions Office Finds Ideal Applicant Capable Of Subsidizing Tuition Of 3 Low-Income Students

Monday 24 March 19:20:00 UTC 2014

MIDDLETOWN, CT—After carefully scrutinizing the application of high school senior Erica Allson, admissions officers at Wesleyan University confirmed Monday that the 18-year-old was the ideal candidate to subsidize the tuition and fees of three lower…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Go fish [News]

Monday 24 March 18:49:18 UTC 2014

News [link] [252 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sick of being caught in tug-of-war between Ukraine, the EU, and Russia, the city of Donetsk votes 61% in favor of seceding and becoming part of….the UK? [Interesting]

Monday 24 March 18:23:37 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ladies and gentlemen: your First World problem of the day [Misc]

Monday 24 March 18:21:15 UTC 2014

Misc [link] [77 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Single Mother Hogging 2 Jobs

Monday 24 March 18:05:00 UTC 2014

INDIANAPOLIS—Between her regular employment cleaning homes and side work waitressing at Perkins on mornings and weekends, 35-year-old single mother Janice Paulings is greedily hogging two jobs all to herself, outraged sources reported Monday.
[Link]

Mental Floss » 18 Famous Literary First Lines Perfectly Paired With Rap Lyrics

Monday 24 March 18:01:53 UTC 2014

We entered a bunch of famous first lines from literature and asked RapPad to give us back some gems. [Link]

Mental Floss » Strange States: Louisiana's Macabre St. Roch Chapel

Monday 24 March 18:01:52 UTC 2014

This time we head to the mouth of the Mississippi River—Louisiana—to explore one of the more bizarre, yet moving signs of faith in New Orleans. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fifteen flamingos from Frankfurt found flaccid. Police pursuing potential perpetrators [Sad]

Monday 24 March 17:50:16 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman poses with disciple as she claims to be alien god of cat people and was engaged to current Arsenal manager in the 15th century when she was Joan of Arc [Amusing]

Monday 24 March 17:50:11 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A French mathematician has found a great way of not surrendering to classroom chatter. SPOILER ALERT: It involves spoilers [Cool]

Monday 24 March 17:38:25 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jay Z has 99 problems and people finding that's he's actually 50 years old is one [Unlikely]

Monday 24 March 17:30:03 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [56 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Onion Poll: Do You Vaccinate Your Children?

Monday 24 March 17:30:00 UTC 2014

The Onion – America's Finest News Source
[Link]

The Onion » Browns Eyeing 6 Quarterbacks To Rifle Through In 2014

Monday 24 March 17:30:00 UTC 2014

CLEVELAND—In an effort to dispel uncertainty surrounding the quarterback position, Cleveland Browns head coach Mike Pettine confirmed Monday that the team is currently monitoring six players to rifle through in rapid succession next season.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Creationist Ken Ham says that "God is a God of grace and mercy" and will demonstrate this by roasting Bill Maher in a "lake which burns with fire and brimstone" for eternity [Amusing]

Monday 24 March 17:01:43 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [508 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 24, 2014

Monday 24 March 16:30:00 UTC 2014

The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 24, 2014
[Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Math Square #208

Monday 24 March 16:18:28 UTC 2014

Welcome to a new week and a brand new mentalfloss.com Brain Game challenge, Monday Math Square #208. Good luck! Place the digits 1 through 9 in the white blanks so that the mathematical equations work both across and down. Each digit 1 through 9 should appear only once in the main grid (the red square). Here is the SOLUTION. [Link]

The Onion » Study: Humans Display Highest Cognitive Abilities When Trying To Retrieve Object Dropped Between Car Seats

Monday 24 March 16:15:00 UTC 2014

CAMBRIDGE, MA—A study released Monday by neurologists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology has concluded that human beings display their highest range of cognitive capabilities when attempting to retrieve an object accidentally dropped into …
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » 7 shot in Tenderloin. Yup, that'd do it [Scary]

Monday 24 March 16:11:05 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [131 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So you're having trouble finishing your research paper for your English class? Just follow these steps to get your teacher fired [Asinine]

Monday 24 March 16:08:19 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [132 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: Soviet Reunion

Monday 24 March 16:00:00 UTC 2014

Soviet Reunion
[Link]

FMyLife » hannahg says FML

Monday 24 March 15:44:48 UTC 2014

Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Male Babysitters Earn More Than Female Babysitters

Monday 24 March 15:30:00 UTC 2014

A new report by the economics blog Priceonomics found that even though less than 3 percent of all babysitters are men, they earn a higher average wage than their female counterparts, with male babysitters earning an average of $15 an hour as opposed to $1…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Some jerkface TFD denizen got his photoshops put up on Slate [Amusing]

Monday 24 March 15:17:34 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [127 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 24 March 14:56:06 UTC 2014

Today, during my dinner break, I was forced to listen to a coworker talk about how he dumped his needy ex for another woman. I'm the ex. We kept our relationship secret from our coworkers. I guess now I know why he dumped me. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mom who tried to teach her teen daughter how many people can see a picture once it's on the internet learns how many people can see a picture once it's on the internet [Ironic]

Monday 24 March 14:01:39 UTC 2014

Ironic [link] [220 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Look, kid, I'm sorry you broke your leg but I'm right in the middle of this level on Grand Theft Auto" [Asinine]

Monday 24 March 13:56:43 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » LA law school tells women to not dress like sluts, make sure the elevator is there when the doors open [Stupid]

Monday 24 March 13:55:54 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [207 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Father can't get school to help stop his son from being bullied does the logical thing. No, the other logical thing [Cool]

Monday 24 March 13:55:01 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [314 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This week's excuse for our inabiltity to find the missing airliner? *shakes magic 8 ball* Global warming [Amusing]

Monday 24 March 13:52:48 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That superprogressive new bike-sharing program NYC started last year? Yeah, the bikes are falling apart and repairs are being blown off. In other news, New Yorkers are why New York can't have nice things [Fail]

Monday 24 March 13:46:17 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man gives up solid food for lent, only drinks beer [Amusing]

Monday 24 March 13:40:57 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Putin: "Hey, Moldova. That's a nice breakaway region you have there, it would be a shame if someone annexed it by force" [Interesting]

Monday 24 March 13:39:48 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [146 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Do straight guys actually wear cologne? And does it increase your chances of getting laid? [Interesting]

Monday 24 March 13:29:36 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [155 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Households without any cash savings are twice as likely to be wealthy as poor." LOLWUT [Fail]

Monday 24 March 13:28:30 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Slate spent five years trying to develop a unified theory of comedy. Here's what they learned [Amusing]

Monday 24 March 13:27:42 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Choo-Choo, the train is nearing the station, next stop, Spiffy Town [Spiffy]

Monday 24 March 13:25:35 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's springtime again, and China's rivers are flooded… with dead pigs [Strange]

Monday 24 March 13:24:52 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Volusia police are seeking an attempted purse snatcher. He is white male in his mid-40s to 50s, 5 feet 6 inches to 5 feet 8 inches tall with a thin build, and has a woman's shoe print on his testicles [Florida]

Monday 24 March 13:24:39 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Strongly Catholic nation, Philippines, has doubling of teenage pregnancy rate over the last decade as now only half the church's teachings are being adhered to [Obvious]

Monday 24 March 13:21:51 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Navy database tracks civilian's parking tickets. Apparently they want to eliminate anyone from joining who can't parallel park an aircraft carrier [Scary]

Monday 24 March 13:21:04 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "We'll keep this airport safe," claims leader of group known as "Shooters" [Florida]

Monday 24 March 13:17:58 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In A.D. 2014, war was beginning. Take off every 'NATO' [Scary]

Monday 24 March 13:12:34 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [117 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Am I paranoid or is that monkey looking right at me? [Strange]

Monday 24 March 13:10:49 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [7 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this hole in the wall [Photoshop]

Monday 24 March 13:01:00 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Global celebrations mark "World Water Day." Or as it's called in Houston, Texas "Don't light a match while the faucet is running Day" [Interesting]

Monday 24 March 12:57:28 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Podcast: Episode 2

Monday 24 March 12:52:42 UTC 2014

As skywatchers prepared for the return of Halley’s comet in 1910, they heard some alarming scientific predictions: Poisonous gases in the comet’s tail might “snuff out all life on the planet,” “leaving the burnt and drenched Earth no other atmosphere than the nitrogen now present in the air.” How should a responsible citizen evaluate a dire prediction by a minority … [Link]

Weird Universe » Solafeet Foot Tanner

Monday 24 March 12:44:04 UTC 2014

With Solafeet you can make your feet match your existing tan… or go for the tanned-feet-only look! It's only $229 (plus shipping). Available only from Solafeet.com!

[Link]

Weird Universe » The Certainty of a Future Life In Mars

Monday 24 March 11:58:12 UTC 2014

Did you know that when you die, your soul goes to a new life on Mars?

You can read all about it right here.

Here's what happens when the new soul first arrives.

Here's a little scholarly perspective.


Source. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australians and Chinese spot possible plane wreckage, this is not a repeat from any point in the last 2 weeks [Followup]

Monday 24 March 11:57:50 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A Boy Scout wants to help his community. So he sets up Bat Condos for up to 1,600 bats to sleep and live in hoping they will help reduce the mosquito population. No word what they will use to get rid of the bats once they become a nuisance [Interesti

Monday 24 March 11:40:24 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [71 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » chocochoco says FML

Monday 24 March 11:40:18 UTC 2014

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists say selfies are linked to narcissism, addiction, mental illness, and your face getting stuck like that, just like your mom said it would [Obvious]

Monday 24 March 11:35:58 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How to Position Yourself for an X-Ray in 1910

Monday 24 March 11:30:00 UTC 2014

Pretty often, when we're searching for images for mental_floss stories, we'll come upon a photo that's weird and delightful—something that makes us want to know more. Such was the case with this photo, an illustration circa 1910 that shows a man adopting four positions before an X-ray. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thirty people injured after Chicago's Blue Line train derailed and struck a platform. And it happened at 2:55 AM, just in time to completely throw off the morning commute [Scary]

Monday 24 March 11:28:09 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Okay, where did the word 'OK' come from? [Strange]

Monday 24 March 11:05:00 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » From the No Shiat Sherlock news desk at the Ric Romero Institute for Journalism Oblivity: Drug companies are cashing in on people with sexual disorders [Obvious]

Monday 24 March 10:30:56 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Police Academy Turns 30

Monday 24 March 10:30:53 UTC 2014

10 Things You Might Not Know About Police Academy On Its 30th Anniversary. It’s been a long time, but these trivial facts will bring it all back.
*
Artists Pay Tribute to the Work of Stephen King in Exhibition ‘King for a Day.’ How many scary memories can you stuff into one work?
*
12 Totally Bizarre, Gross Remedies From … [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: March "Mad"ness

Monday 24 March 10:09:34 UTC 2014

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » "The airplane stays up because it doesn't have the time to fall." -Orville Wright. Not so true for this plane at the Wright Brothers Memorial Park [Ironic]

Monday 24 March 9:30:00 UTC 2014

Ironic [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "A voyeurism law says your right to privacy extends to any part of your home where you undress and feel comfortable someone isn't recording." Which means this man's neighbor can keep a camera recording activity in the backyard [Florid

Monday 24 March 7:15:44 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Someone has to do something about these damn ninja trains [Strange]

Monday 24 March 6:34:00 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » In a Word

Monday 24 March 6:12:10 UTC 2014

bibliotaph
n. a hoarder of books In the rare book collection of the archives at Caltech is a copy of Adrien-Marie Legendre’s 1808 text on number theory. It comes from the collection of Eric Temple Bell, who taught mathematics at Caltech from 1926 to 1953. Inside the book is an inscription in Bell’s handwriting: This book survived the San Francisco … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » And the plot thickens: Last known phone call of MH370's pilot before take-off was from a prepaid cell phone which was purchased using a fake ID [Followup]

Monday 24 March 5:19:54 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [158 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So, about that prisoner that you sent to Missouri from Kansas to face theft charges… Well the charges were dropped and we didn't think he had any charges to face back in Kansas, so we let him go. Yep, totally our bad [Fail]

Monday 24 March 4:44:00 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Secrets Issue is On Sale Now!

Monday 24 March 3:30:55 UTC 2014

“Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you,” Roald Dahl wrote, “because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places.” He was a wartime spy–turned author who wrote about a kid who stows away in a piece of fruit, and that’s exactly the kind of person we at mental_floss look to for advice. So in the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » America, now's the time to step up to the breakfast plate and save our British brothers. Because it's about bacon, it's serious business and a virus is involved. Oh wait, we're spreading it [Obvious]

Monday 24 March 3:19:08 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [77 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » butterbody says FML

Monday 24 March 2:22:31 UTC 2014

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML [Link]

FMyLife » doesn't fuck on the first, thank god says FML

Monday 24 March 2:22:30 UTC 2014

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Inventors compete to develop environmentally-friendly toilets for widespread use in places such as India, where the numbers today are basically squat [Cool]

Monday 24 March 2:17:05 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [98 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 24 March 1:29:16 UTC 2014

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Bad news. Bears" [Dumbass]

Monday 24 March 1:28:03 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey" episode 3 discussion thread and drinking game. 9PM Eastern on Fox [Cool]

Monday 24 March 0:35:00 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [387 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this mossy moose [Photoshop]

Monday 24 March 0:01:00 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

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