John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Some people are outraged that a pizza that has 90 slices of jalapeño-infused pepperoni topped with diced jalapeño peppers is being called "La Chingona" or translated most politely as "badass." I'd be more worried what it

Sunday 23 March 23:45:15 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [153 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That Boston guy that lost his legs? He's better. Stronger. Faster. And knocking up his fiancee [Cool]

Sunday 23 March 23:15:01 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » News of the Weird (March 23, 2014)

Sunday 23 March 23:06:10 UTC 2014

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M363, March 23, 2014
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd

Lead Story

San Francisco’s Number-One Problem: The ecology-conscious city (having recently encouraged routine composting of dinner leftovers) is now considering environment-friendly public urinals such as the “PPlanter” created by engineer Brent Bucknum. Users urinate into a ceramic basin and flush the waste with run-off hand-washing water, through … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Everything's bigger in space [Amusing]

Sunday 23 March 22:45:42 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're suing your ASHLEY MADISON for disability after you typed 1000 fake female profiles, should you… a) update your Facebook everyday, b) email all your friends, c) go to the beach and ride your jet ski? [Dumbass]

Sunday 23 March 22:15:00 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What medieval Europe did with its teenagers [Interesting]

Sunday 23 March 21:53:43 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ukraine's top commander in Crimea disappears during the evacuation and his whereabouts are unknown. Subby's not an expert, but perhaps they should check the basement of a FBS prison in Siberia [Interesting]

Sunday 23 March 21:10:01 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Snohomish Rescue workers searching for 18 missing bodies in tragic mudslide that sent trees, rocks and homes into the Stillaquamish on Saturday. Sasquatch seen donning proper attire and joining efforts [Scary]

Sunday 23 March 21:00:01 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NSA steals technology info from Chinese company that was stolen by Chinese hackers from US companies [Interesting]

Sunday 23 March 20:53:59 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What would happen if the Colorado River in Mexico had water in it? Starting today, we find out [Interesting]

Sunday 23 March 20:35:43 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Vatican now allowing the use of condoms in certain situations [Spiffy]

Sunday 23 March 20:18:24 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this moment of wisdom being shared [Photoshop]

Sunday 23 March 20:01:00 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ex-Pres Carter: I'm pretty sure our government is spying on me [Asinine]

Sunday 23 March 19:51:32 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Former Texas deputy constable who claimed he was forced to 'motorboat' his female boss has been awarded $567,000 by Galveston County jury. That seems like a lot of money, until you see her pic (w/pics) [Interesting]

Sunday 23 March 19:38:03 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [113 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » BustedEgo says FML

Sunday 23 March 19:11:36 UTC 2014

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 23 March 19:11:35 UTC 2014

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Doctor who can "cure" gays by analysing the colour choices patients use when colouring a drawing of a brain defends himself against critics who point out he is colourblind by saying "I was born this way" [Ironic]

Sunday 23 March 19:03:58 UTC 2014

Ironic [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you live in southwestern Colorado, your tap water has a little something extra in it today [Followup]

Sunday 23 March 18:43:30 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Moments of Inspiration

Sunday 23 March 18:30:47 UTC 2014

James Watt perfects the steam engine, 1765: I had gone to take a walk on a fine Sunday afternoon. I had entered the Green and had passed the old washing house. I was thinking up on the engine at the time and had got as far as the herd’s house, when the idea came into my mind that as steam … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "The time has come to legalize fireworks in Iowa" [Obvious]

Sunday 23 March 18:19:52 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Chinese Travel Tips for Visiting America

Sunday 23 March 18:09:25 UTC 2014

Advice the Chinese give their own countrymen on how to handle the peculiarities of American culture. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It was snowing the night mom went missing. But when he went looking in his pick up truck, he got run over by a damned old train [Sad]

Sunday 23 March 17:49:29 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California DMV goes full Target [Fail]

Sunday 23 March 17:15:10 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Weekend Links: Manhole Cover Art

Sunday 23 March 17:00:17 UTC 2014

In Japan, catching a glimpse of a work of art can be as simple as looking down. * It takes a creative eye and clever composition to avoid taking a photo of a famous landmark that looks just like everyone else’s, but these alternative vacation viewpoints should help to put the Statue of Liberty, Stonehenge, the Pyramids, and more celebrated … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know it's spring when weekend gun violence in Chicago hits the double-digits [Scary]

Sunday 23 March 16:45:50 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [121 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Do you know how hard it is to make ends meet while having to make payments on your million dollar yacht? Look, that's what "public assistance" is for, right? [Fail]

Sunday 23 March 16:16:31 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [139 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turkey shoot [News]

Sunday 23 March 15:33:25 UTC 2014

News [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Free speech is not hassle-free" [Florida]

Sunday 23 March 15:17:49 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man says he has mental problems, needs help, thought people were chasing him, needed a disguise, and that's why he tried to steal Australia-themed costumes from a Vegas show at gunpoint. Sounds legit [Strange]

Sunday 23 March 14:47:04 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Six months after orphan boy gets viral online and captures the heart of the world, no one yet has adopted him [Followup]

Sunday 23 March 14:10:48 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cover band caused "great and incalculable damage" according to BMI [Fail]

Sunday 23 March 13:46:13 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [212 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Giant birthday cake baked for Nevada's 150th anniversary. To fully encapsulate the flavor of the state, the cake was designed to taste like hookers, mobsters, and shattered dreams [Interesting]

Sunday 23 March 13:31:35 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Governor's Mansion in Colorado just got a whole lot more awesome [Misc]

Sunday 23 March 13:17:32 UTC 2014

Misc [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Toilet Seat Cozy

Sunday 23 March 13:09:38 UTC 2014

For sale on etsy. Only $5! But it's a little unhygienic perhaps?

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Challenge: Add a little color to this monochromatic home [Photoshop]

Sunday 23 March 13:01:00 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Latest possible Flight 370 debris satellite imagery surrendered by France [Followup]

Sunday 23 March 12:58:13 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Church members beat man, because they claim he was using magic bluetooth device to have supernatural sex with women during service (link updated) [Unlikely]

Sunday 23 March 12:41:21 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [172 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Manhog

Sunday 23 March 12:28:14 UTC 2014

)

I have no explanation for this micro-video. It might be the work of this fellow. But whatever the source, whatever the intention, it sure is weird.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sunday SUNDAY SUUUUNDAY … pachyderms PACHYDERMS PAAAACHYDERMS [Amusing]

Sunday 23 March 12:22:41 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption these Galapagos sharks [Caption]

Sunday 23 March 12:05:08 UTC 2014

Caption [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mother rushes to her special needs sons school to comfort him after he has a panic attack. Resulting in a lockdown and the mother arrested because? A) She had drugs on her, B) A teacher has a restraining order against her, or C) She didn't sign i

Sunday 23 March 11:45:01 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [215 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 23 March 7:07:08 UTC 2014

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Smoking hot surgery-obsessed transsexual spends £60,000 to look like a blowup sex doll and subby has the weirdest boner right now (w/pics) [Spiffy]

Sunday 23 March 6:37:40 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [248 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » “A Magic-Ridden People”

Sunday 23 March 6:13:00 UTC 2014

Excerpts from “Body Ritual Among the Nacirema,” a paper published by Horace Miner in the June 1956 edition of American Anthropologist: “They are a North American group living in the territory between the Canadian Cree, the Yaqui and Tarahumare of Mexico, and the Carib and Arawak of the Antilles. Little is known of their origin, although tradition states that they … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Damn, it's Saturday already. One more notch on the bedpost for Livingston Stapler Company Presents, 2 hours of music hosted live by a farker in Juneau, Alaska. LGT stream [Cool]

Sunday 23 March 4:59:04 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [266 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 23 March 4:24:24 UTC 2014

Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before he'll go on any more dates, he'd require me to take a series of "oral exams" to prove I'm right for him. I think he actually expected that to work. NEXT. FML [Link]

FMyLife » campus pussy says FML

Sunday 23 March 4:24:23 UTC 2014

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you offer a bank teller $50 to have her spank you, don't be surprised if she has a very low rate of interest [Dumbass]

Sunday 23 March 4:23:48 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Yeah…we know you're staying here in case your loved ones come back from that missing plane but…we need this hotel because we have a race coming up so, do you mind…leaving?" – Ferrari's Formula One Team [Followup]

Sunday 23 March 3:15:37 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [92 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Two More Casualties of World War I in Belgium

Sunday 23 March 2:25:55 UTC 2014

The Great War never really ended, in the sense that there are probably hundreds if not thousands of tons of unexploded munitions buried across Europe. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Study: Men find women more attractive with less makeup, except for your mom, of course [Interesting]

Sunday 23 March 2:07:48 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [179 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Sunday 23 March 2:01:35 UTC 2014

Today, at a family gathering, it emerged that my now ex-fiancé has been sleeping with his brother's girlfriend for some time now. A fight broke out, the police were called, and more than one of his relatives are blaming me for him cheating with her. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » DWI attorney, and publisher of "DWI checkpoints" Facebook page, arrested "after exiting the passenger side of his vehicle while intoxicated and informing his driver of her right to refuse a sobriety test" [Interesting]

Sunday 23 March 1:37:11 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [136 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New Orleans cop charged with speeding, no license plate, expired driver's license, battery on an officer, speeding, aggravated flight from an officer, disregarding a stop sign, disregarding a red light and reckless operation of a vehicle [Dumbass

Sunday 23 March 0:44:04 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: Driver charged with DUI. Reason Fark has a Florida tag: Bicyclist charged with DUI [Florida]

Sunday 23 March 0:10:48 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [139 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this adjustment [Photoshop]

Sunday 23 March 0:01:00 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

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